As much as I hated being in debt and a trouble for others, I was sitting in a hospital with Jeremy who was the man I knew and still so different from the person I came across went we first met. He was this cold barrier that no one dared touch scared of my how the frost can bite.
But somehow the cold didn't scare me maybe because I was already dying.
And here he sat with him, the man I came to love, one who came to me, not like a frost but more like a spring day in my cold life.
How he got me here, that is what broke my heart and mended it at the same time.
***
After two days of living with Jeremy and scared of losing control, I usually woke up at the time he went out and slept before he came or rather pretended to do so. But each time I was in pain or woke up trembling from a nightmare he was there sitting right next to me.
"Jeremy I don't want you hovering over my head." I snapped feeling ashamed of being a burden to him.
But for those two days, Jeremy was scary silent instead his intense gaze, his slight brush of arm against mine, his little-helping gestures were like fire for my soul which he was searing without any intention. It was three thirty at night when he came back home and I lay awake pretending to sleep.
I would have continued to pretend but he fumbled and something fell on the ground with a thud. Impulsively I got and saw him drunk. Some shopping bags fell from his hand as himself walked in an unstable way. I rushed next to him and held his hand which he jerked away and glared at me.
What did I do know?
I held his hand but he was too strong for me to handle and as he stumbled on the ground so did I.
"Don't help me." He said in a bitter tone.
"What is wrong Jeremy?" I asked not sure what I could do to help.
I saw his red puffed eyes, he had been crying and it made my heart ache sharply.
"Why did you meet me Magenta?" He asked in a depressed helpless tone.
His words were a little hurting and I just gulped back the pain.
"Why me?" He asked as if I was at fault for something.
"And now when I fucking love you, you want to leave." He yelled and my heart stopped as did my mind and other senses.
He said he loved me and he knew I was going to... leave.
But he loved me?
"Jer, please calm down," I said as softly as possible.
"Don't call me that." He snapped at me and it made me wonder if I affected him as much as he affected me.
And then looked at me with the most heart-melting gaze, tilting his head in a cute gesture.
"God likes to mock me." He mumbled and then took my hand in his.
"I love you." He said casually like it was a universal fact but heart reacted to act like a wild cheetah.
"Umm... I love you too." I answered back even though I shouldn't have but it was like he was expecting some answer.
"Why?" Again the way he asked broke my heart in million pieces.
"Why do you love me?" I countered.
Then he came closer and softly kissed my forehead trailing down his lips to my eyes, nose, cheeks, my jawline and all the way down to my neck causing me to shiver. He reeked of alcohol but I didn't care because his kisses were making me drunk instead.
"Because you make me want to live Magenta when I thought death was my only cure, you became my medicine." His reason made me tear up.
"I am sorry," I said on multiple accounts.
"For loving me or for leaving me?" He asked staring right at me with demanding eyes.
"For being born with the worst fate in the world," I answered.
"Worse than me?"
"Do you hate me now?" I asked.
"I wish I could but-" He said staring at me constantly, "But I love you more than I love myself."
"So even though the thought you dying shatters me, will destroy me I plan to tolerate the pain. I plan to love you and for that Magenta, you have to help me."
This is what I was scared of. I was destroying his life, I was selfish.
"If I leave now maybe you can forget me and date other girls like Sapphire." I bit my tongue on showing stupid emotions even in this moment.
But miraculously this made Jeremy smile a little.
"Ah, my Magenta. I wish there were other girls for me but you wrecked all for me." He said with a small smile tugging at the end of his lips.
"Then I will help you," I said since there seemed no other option.
"Stay with me as long as possible." The way he said them was heartbreaking but at the same time beautiful.
"And I thought you were the bad boy." I chuckled avoiding to answer.
This time he smirked and butterflies fluttered inside my stomach.
"I can be bad Magenta."
I blinked too surprised at his tone that actually felt seductive. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me onto his lap.
"Still wearing my t-shirt." He groaned and his hands trailed all over my back.
"You are too drunk Jeremy." I weakly scolded him.
"But I think about doing this even when I am sober." The fire in his eyes combusted me.
And he lightly kissed over my collarbone making me gasp at the softness of this point. My eyes closed as he kept kissing me fervently and I bit my lips from giving out an embarrassing moan of pleasure.
"Stay with me for as long as possible." He whispered with his lips on my earlobe now.
I was weak and vulnerable in that moment and nodded.
I know I fell into a trap, I know I was charmed and I know he was going to get me the best treatment possible.
But I knew it was little too late now.
***
"Can I make a bucket list?" I asked since I had someone with me now who can help me in completing it.
"Unless that includes sex Magenta I am not interested." He teased me and I turned tomato red.
"It might," I mumbled since it actually did I was not dying a virgin.
His eyes widened at this and then looked at me and winked.
"I am not getting any treatment." I tried throwing tantrum.
And surprisingly he huffed, "Fine make a whatever list you want."
And I smiled which caused me to wince since my head was bursting with pain.
I went through various test and stuff and my headache worsened. By the time Jeremy discussed everything with the doctor and played my knight in shining armour my head was paining too much that it made me throw up. I was sweating and I felt the coppery taste in my mouth as the pain made it difficult for me to see.
This has happened before but it was the first time for Jeremy to witness it. I tried to look away from him so that I could hide this disgusting part of me.
But in that moment I realised what I didn't dare ask him that why he didn't hate me for lying or why was he hurting himself or if he could go through this pain again or why did he even want me to live more. Because in that moment I saw a new Jeremy, with a concerned look, his brows furrowed as he looked at me with utmost care.
His hands that hit the worst of opponents gently touched my face like I was a fragile glass and tears trailed down my eyes at Jeremy who kept asking me what was wrong with a panic laced voice.
Without any demands or requests, he was here for me.
Not anything came free of cost, I thought but right now the man in front of me changed my mind.
"Thank You," I mumbled as I felt pain slipping away with some shot that doctor just gave me.
He just nodded with a hard face that said he was still in pain over what he saw.
And for the first time in life, I begged God to give me a chance to live since I had someone to live for now.
☘ ☘ ☘
This chapter might not be that good but I am so so sorry for the late update! :(
I am not very well, superrrr busy because my favourite group had a Comeback and stupidly thinking about another story on their song xD
Yeah well, call me insane :P :D
I thought about giving it a fun approach but I realised Jeremy didn't have a personality like that...but on most parts I am sick and my mood sucks ....so.... there goes that idea!
TOMORROW'S UPDATE: CURSEBREAKER & (maybe) CHECK-LIST
P.S. I was missing you guys!