Damned If I Do *Matt Murdock*...

By Anika_Ann_M

210K 5.7K 2.8K

Dropping out of college after two years and an unpleasant break-up, Vera needs a change - so when she gets an... More

Dear reader,
Author's notes
Playlist...kind of
Prologue
1) Home, keep hold on my heart (when I try to run away)
2) Looking for heaven (find yourself in Hell instead)
3) Just like the weather (can't hold her together)
Daily dose of cuteness (Matt)
4) (When food is gone...) You are my daily meal
5) I don't wanna talk about it (I don't wanna listen all that much)
6) Heaven help me...
Stalker extraordinaire (Matt)
7) ...I need to make it right
8) So long and lost (Are you missing me?)
9) Remember the fine night there...
10) ...didn't I show I cared?
11) I've been sleepless at night ('cause now I know how I feel)
12) I never knew (...daylight could be so violent)
13) I will hold on (...and never let go)
('Cause it's burning ) In the bloodline (Terri)
14) (Disappearing) In a plain sight
15) What if love is a feeling (...to believe in?)
16) You thought it might disguise...
17) ...The parting line
19) ...maybe we've come too far
A tribute to your glory (Sergei)
20) (Revelation) In the light of day
21) You can't choose what stays...
22) ...and what fades away
Of Richards, slaps and religious issues (Tony Stark)
23) I'm not giving up...
24) ...I'm just giving in
25) I feel so much better now...
... do you feel like you feel alive? (Epilogue - snapshots)
Coda added
Sidefic posted
Late bonus: The Heart Is Hard To Translate (It Has a Language Of Its Own)
Sequel - book two of Damned

18) I'm not the same anymore...

4.4K 155 119
By Anika_Ann_M



Important note!!! In this chapter, there will be one scene where Czech alternate with English – I decided that instead of translating it later, I'll write it in English as well. The "Czech" parts are underlined=> Speaking Czech
Because language barrier ♥.





It only took few minutes for her phone to ring. She could hear the car parking in front of the building, followed by the door closing and hurried footsteps. Before she could open, the buzzing sound made it instead. Vera rolled her eyes – Nina and Terri were probably watching the street from the window.

A familiar face appeared in the door – just not the one she had expected. The person wore a goofy grin on his slightly chubby face and had too long and too blond hair. Vera recognized Matt's best friend. Foggy.

He observed her cautiously, before his eyes widened with recognition. "I'm sorry, I'm here to pick up someone named Veronica Machackova?" he offered in a light voice, letting the door close behind him.

The corners of her lip twitched. "That would be me."

He gasped in pretended shock, his hand on his chest, right over his heart. "Not possible. There is no way Matt scored such a beautiful lady as his date. Damn you, Murdock!"

"That's probably the most original compliment I've ever heard. Thank you, Mr. Nelson."

Vera knew he was just being a comedian, but it cheered her up anyway. His smile widened and he extended his hand. She took it.

"It's Foggy. It's a pleasure to finally meet you officially, Vera." To her surprise, he hadn't shaken her hand – he kissed it on its back. She would blush if anyone saw them. She was glad the hallway was empty.

"Enchanté."

"Smooth. He told me you would be nervous, so I would have to be nice, you know. He's a freaking liar," he complained, let go of her hand an offered her his arm.

"Maybe I'm just a good actress."

His expression darkened as they stepped out. "Well, keep it up. Otherwise they are going to shark-attack us."

"That's reassuring," she noted and she would swear his face paled. She liked the comedian better. "We can try not to splash too much. I heard it attracts them."

Foggy gave her the weirdest glare and then chuckled. "I take it back. You're definitely Matt's girlfriend."

Vera had no idea what that meant, but it didn't sound too offensive, so she let it slide. Foggy led her to the taxi, opening the backdoor for her. "Thank you."

She got in, finding Karen and Matt on the backseat as well – Foggy headed to the front.

"Hey, Vera. Good to see you again!" Karen welcomed her cheerfully and Vera spent precious moments observing her – Vera couldn't see her dress, because of her coat and Matt blocking Vera's view, but her hair was tangled together in a complicated chignon, few spreads hanging from it loosely. Her make-up was a little more distinctive than Vera's, but still discreet. It calmed her down.

"Hi, Karen."

She finally paid enough attention to the man sitting by her side now. She was disappointed he was wearing his glasses, yet his presence comforted her more than Foggy's jokes and Karen's warmth. Content smile was playing on his lips as she leaned closer to his side, squeezing his hand resting in his lap rather than kissing him. She was sure her red lipstick would not look good on his cheek or lips.

"Hi, Matt," she whispered, uselessly only inches from his ear, knowing he would probably hear her blocks away.

Matt turned his face to her, placing a small kiss next to her mouth, tucking one of her loose strands behind her ear tenderly. Her heart fluttered and she caressed his nose with his – that she could do.

"Oh god, you're gross. Stop it!" A voice from the passenger seat groaned, sounding outraged.

Before Vera could react, Matt delivered one of her favourite lines, not bothering to move. "Shut up." Vera grinned. "And cover your eyes if you have a problem. I am gathering my strength to fight the sharks."

Karen burst out laughing and Vera wondered what kind of a hidden joke they had. It probably went a way back. It might be the reason Foggy had told her she was Matt's girlfriend, after reacting for his shark line earlier.

"I hope he wasn't rude," Matt whispered as if accidently loud enough for Foggy to hear. It wasn't like Matt didn't know exactly how their encounter had gone.

"Oh, blow me, Matt! Also, enjoy your minutes in heaven – you have the two most beautiful women of the evening by your side."

Vera withdrew, her cheeks reddening at his exclaim. Karen watched Foggy with kind expression.

"I know I do. I can taste your jealousy in the air."

"How does it taste?" Karen mocked him, while Vera wondered whether he really could somehow sense jealousy.

"Rotten.... You rolled your eyes at me, didn't you, Foggy?"

"Let me guess, you heard that?" Foggy guessed.

Did Karen know about Mike as well? Because if she didn't, Vera had no idea how they kept the secret from her if they were being so subtle all the time.

"You bet I did."

"Did you?" Vera asked silently for Matt's ears only.

He kissed her earlobe to cover his answer. The action made her shiver. "No."

"I'm serious, Murdock! Stop harassing her!"

The ride wasn't short, but it felt like it was – they had a great time. Matt and Foggy kept telling the stories about how they used to sneak up on fancy parties like this one – both women roared with laughter. The driver must have been really happy when they get out of his vehicle, because he left with the motor roaring as he revved it up.

Vera's mood drastically changed as they stood in front of the shiny house with a red carpet, leading them to the stairs. Matt, hearing the change in her heartbeat from delighted to terrified, offered his arm. Despite not being sure who would be leading who, she accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks," she breathed out, walking him to the stairs. Both pairs entered an enormous hall, already filled with people in night dress and expensive suits. Vera gulped. It wasn't too late to escape, was it? Matt's other hand gripped her forearm, sensing her fleeing tendencies.

He bowed his head to hers. "I promised to keep you safe."

"And I promised not to embarrass you and I'm one hundred and ninety nine percent sure I'll fail," she hissed back, but followed Foggy and Karen to the cloak room.

Vera changed her shoes, while Foggy watched her with raised eyebrow.

"It's dancing latin shoes, Foggy. They can't be worn outside – it would ruin them," Karen hurried to defend Vera and Vera gave her a grateful smile.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I guess I just have to believe you." He shook his head in confusion as Vera stood up and handed her coat and the bag with her high boots the attendant with thanks.

Vera eyed Karen's dress, satisfied she wasn't wearing a long one either, but ending shortly above her knees. It was quite simple, navy blue, elegant though - with heart-shaped neckline and transparent fabric covered in jewels reaching to her throat. On her waist, it was decorated with jewels folded into flowers.

Foggy kept flickering between Vera and Karen as if he couldn't decide who he should pay a compliment first. "Matt? We are the luckiest men on Earth," he solved his puzzle smoothly and Vera felt Matt's sightless gaze burning through her.

Eyes sunk to the floor, she approached him slowly, taking his hand. She looked around quickly before leading it from the top of her dress along her side, letting him feel the fabric and make his image of it, even though she anticipated he would know better once he felt and heard her moving in it.

"It's...uhm, it's red. Like very d-dark red," she faltered as she guided his fingers to her necklace. His free hand returned to examining the dress with the lightest touch.

Vera hesitantly raised her eyes (on her heels, she was almost as tall as him), meeting his smile. With his glasses, it was harder to read his emotions, but she could tell he liked the way she looked. He placed a tender kiss to her hair.

"You look glorious," he breathed out and she closed her eyes contentedly, astonished by his admiration. She knew Foggy and Karen watched them, but this time, Foggy kept his sarcastic notes for himself. Vera appreciated it.

"Shall we?" Foggy offered and broke their moment. Vera snapped her eyes open and accepted Matt's arm again. She followed them upstairs, where a hostess in a plain but expensively looking suit welcomed them.

"Good evening. May I ask your names, please?" she asked politely, a wide smile on her face.

Vera felt butterflies in her stomach again – she didn't like the formality. It felt like she was trying to sneak up to a fancy party in secret and got caught.

Matt didn't seem to be caught off guard. "Good evening. Nelson and Murdock, please, in company of two lovely ladies," he flashed the hostess one of his charming smiles and Vera could tell it made the woman dizzy.

Aha! That's how Vera probably looked when captivated by his enchantment.

Vera saw Foggy roll his eyes and she bit her lip to fight a laugh. Karen didn't seem to notice anything.

"Of-of course," the woman stuttered, quickly going through the papers on her folder. She made two check sings in it and directed them into the huge ballroom. "The bar is right there, please do not hesitate to order anything. Waiters are serving sparkling wine, you would definitely meet them. Enjoy your evening."

"Thank you."

The hostess was blushing, gesturing widely and Vera gripped Matt's arm tighter, begging him to leave before she could burst out laughing. "You're so mean. You could have given her a heart attack."

He kissed her hair again. "I wouldn't do that. I'm saving that privilege for you." Her heart obediently jumped at his words, rush of blood colouring her cheeks. "Exactly."

Vera observed the room in awe. It wasn't like she hadn't been to a ball before. Some of them were in very fancy halls with enormous chandeliers and excessive decorations too, but this? The stage, bigger than the atrium where her high school prom had taken place, musicians with shiny instruments, classical music filling the room, combined with the gleam of luxury jewels, night dresses costing more than her apartment (not her rent – her apartment), artificial laugh echoing in her ears. She wanted to run away all over again. She glued to Matt's side so she wouldn't leave.

"Oooh, Brett. What a wonderful surprise!" she heard Foggy's delighted shout and looked around once more. They were few officers, walking around the edges of the room and Foggy spotted his friend. Vera couldn't help smiling when the officer turned around and rolled his eyes.

"Nelson," he didn't sound like he felt the same about their encounter.

"Sergeant," Vera greeted him and he seemed to notice her for the first time, standing by Matt's side.

"Murdock. Miss Page,... Miss Machackova," he added when he recognized her. Her smile widened. "Well, that explains everything."

Vera's eyebrows shot up involuntarily, just like Matt's and Karen's. It was Matt who asked him about it. "What do you mean, Sergeant?"

He rolled his eyes again and gestured in Vera's direction. "She's friends with Nelson. Of course she's getting in trouble on a daily basis."

It insulted Vera. She wasn't getting in trouble on a daily basis. In fact, she had managed to stay out of it for a while now. Also, not Foggy's fault. "We've officially met about an hour ago," she defended him.

"Then the fate planned to cross your ways for a long time. Have a nice evening. If you excuse me..." He made his way through the crowd.

"I thought you were friends...?" Vera asked uncertainly, eyeing Foggy.

He grinned. "More like frenemies."

Huh.

The delight of their encounter gone, Vera noticed her surroundings. People were looking at them. No, probing, measuring them from head to toe, measuring her with their haughty gazes, just like in her dream.

Do not flee. Do not let them see how nervous you are.

"I would appreciate a glass right now," she admitted quietly, anxious, and Matt's hand moved to her smaller back, stroking lightly.

"Whatever you want. We had to take one for the toast anyway. The big speech is ahead," Matt's soothing voice whispered to her ear, lips touching it inconspicuously.

Vera suspected it didn't matter how much wine she would drink tonight – she would be intoxicated rather by his proximity than the alcohol. Maybe it was the dress (providing her unusual level of confidence), maybe it was his suit with the bowtie and the glasses she had thought she hated. It might be the words he had said last night (prepare your bill and I'll bring all kinds of currency I can think of...), his freaking Spanish, the flirting in the café. Maybe he was just being suggestive more than ever to distract her and chase away her fears. Whatever it was, it worked and it made her feel legless.

Vera accepted the glass from the nearest waiter with a polite and grateful smile, taking one for Matt as well.

The music stopped and the jingling sound of metal hitting the glass lightly echoed in the room. All conversations fell silent. A middle-aged man, introducing himself as one of the partner in the firm, demanded everyone's attention and started talking in big words (Vera didn't think they went together in the right way, he was just trying to impress people at any cost). She was barely listening though – Matt was playing with the hem of her dress, fingers occasionally tracing her thigh (she had no idea how he managed to do that unnoticed and where the hell did he put his cane) and it was very distracting.

Loud cheers in unison sounded all around her and she quickly raised her glass too. She didn't remember shit from the speech. "Dammit, Matt!"

Vera didn't have to look at him – she knew he was grinning innocently all the same without doing so. "What?"

She drank the half of the glass, took his arm and led him to one of the round high tables near the bar. They lost Foggy and Karen somewhere on their way, but she didn't really care. What she did care about were the constant looks in her direction.

"Stop doing that," she hissed, screaming 'do not stop' internally. "I appreciate you effort to distract me, but-"

He felt the table and put his glass down as Vera did the same. He was frowning now. "What are you talking about?" He seemed honestly confused; Vera frowned at him too.

"Your... everything. The touches. The whispers. I-"

His lips parted, surprised gasp leaving them. "You think- you think I'm trying to distract you?" he asked her, taken aback.

"Aren't you?" She was baffled too. Great.

He licked his lips unconsciously and she looked at the ceiling, pleading god to give her strength so she wouldn't kiss him right here and now.

"Vera, believe me. I am not." He rubbed his eyes under the glasses before he continued and she felt sorry for not seeing them. "Did it occur to you, that maybe... just maybe I am very, very well-aware of how beautiful you are tonight? That I-" he didn't finished whatever he was about to say and gritted his teeth.

"No to mě poser," a shocked voice blurted out and Vera snapped her head in its direction on instinct. She wasn't used to hearing Czech anymore, not really. She squinted, observing the man who made his way to them. She knew him.

"Alex?!" she let out in disbelief, knowing it was indeed him as he approached their table with an astonished expression. She realized her mouth was hanging open, so she closed it.

"I did not see that coming," he exclaimed and Vera let out a mixture of a gasp and laugher.

"Can't say I did," she admitted, too shocked to avoid his hug and kiss on her cheek.

In periphery, she saw Matt gripping the table tight. Oh. Right. That probably looked bad. She freed herself as fast as she could, clearing her throat.

"Sorry. Matt, this is one of my former dance partners, Alex Srba. Alex, this is my-" her eyes flickered to Matt and she whispered boyfriend in a silent question – Matt gave a tiny nod "-boyfriend, Matt Murdock."

Alex's eyes left her figure unwillingly, his gaze turning to Matt instead. "Oh, I know who he is. Pleasure to meet you. Amazing work with Fisk, really," he offered politely, smile slightly artificial.

Vera could tell Matt's smile was a total fake. "Thank you, pleasure all mine." He held out his hand and Alex shook it. For some reason, Alex massaged his hand afterwards, rubbing it like checking whether none of his bones were broken. Uh-huh.

"What are you doing in New York?" he asked her, switching to Czech again. "I haven't seen you in ages."

Vera bit her lip. The whole situation was strange. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to see him, but he was giving an odd vibe and Matt probably sensed it too. Well, their relationship was always... peculiar if anything.

"And whose fault is that? I'm not the one who skipped the last three reunions," she reminded him. She was trying to recall what college he had chosen, because she remembered his excuse had been 'busy, studying'. "I live here. Needed to leave some things behind. What are you doing here?"

Alex grinned proudly. "International internship. Landman and Zack."

Right. He had chosen law. "Oh. Well, congratulation then."

The music started playing again and sparks appeared in his eyes. "Wanna dance?" He made a funny thing with his eyebrows.

Vera sighed. She did. Alex might be an asshole sometimes, but he cloud dance like a god. Which was one of the reasons why 'chicks dug him so badly' in his own words.

"The dance floor is empty, Alex," Vera protested weakly. It was. If they came there, they would be freaks.

"Exactly. It's waiting for us."

Cha-cha, she recognized. It was cha-cha, the song they were playing. She loved cha-cha.

"Uhm..."

"Go, Vera. Show them how it's done," Matt supported Alex unexpectedly. She snapped his head in his direction. He was smiling reassuringly despite his jaw clenched tightly. Perhaps he was hoping Alex would disappear if Matt let her dance with her once.

"Hell yes! See? Even he agrees with me."

"Uh-uh. You're sure?" she asked Matt and he just nodded. She huffed and left her purse on the table.

"We're gonna bring this place down," Alex anticipated as he led her to the dance floor.

"One dance and just because I miss it." Like miss it a lot.

"Two," he negotiated.

"Fine."

He confidently walked right into the middle of the dance floor, introducing her to the audience like he was used to. Oh god. Everyone was staring. Vera made three spins and let him to take her hand and got closer.

"You're still in form? How is your limber?"

"I think it's quite good."

She thought screw it. There was nothing wrong with knowing how to dance properly. She would show them all she got.

"Glad to hear that."

Since the moment, they only spoke the language universal to any man. The language of dance.

He led her, spun her, let her escape his grip and demonstrate her dancing skills on her own as if he wanted every single person who was watching to know he was proud of his dance partner (it was a significant feature of latin and dancing in general after all). She had fun. She recognized pieces of their old choreographies he tried out and a wide smile crawled on her lips - she didn't fight it, enjoying the music and Alex's dancing teasing. He could be such a comedian. That Alex, she liked.

Vera was actually disappointed when she felt the song coming to an end, eyeing Alex just in case he hadn't notice. He had. They took several mutual steps and he helped her to get the right spin for the closing turns. Out of habit, they bowed slightly as the last tones faded away.

She realized the room fell in a complete silence. She peaked from under her eyelashes, only to find a lot of people staring at them, sometimes with their mouth hanging open. Ups. Flash of a camera. She blushed furiously and returned her gaze to the floor.

"Alex?" she whined in a quiet voice without raising her head.

"Come here, you little idiot." She gulped, taking few steps in his direction, raising her eyes. He was grinning widely, returning people's gazes with confidence. "Shall we get ready for the second round?"

The silence was finally broken by the first notes of another piece and Vera breathed out in relief. "Well, that was awkward."

She found Matt in the crowd. She couldn't see his expression, but she noticed Foggy and Karen by his side, gesturing wildly.

They left to the edge of the dance floor as they recognized the next dance - it was a rapid change. Slow tones of waltz floated in the air and several pairs joined them. Bless them.

"You're kidding? We rock."

He pulled her close to the position for the beginning of standard dances, waited for the new phrase and stepped up in her space, starting with the small spin.

Vera just sighed, wondering how bad the outcome of their actions would be.

"So, how is David?" he asked suddenly, making an attempt at a conversation.

She almost tripped over her own feet when he mentioned her ex-boyfriend.

"I have no idea," she answered truthfully.

"Not together anymore?"

She liked the silence between them better. "Well, I am in New York and I introduced you to my boyfriend just minutes ago, so what do you think?"

"Hm. What's up with you two anyway?"

"We're dating."

Vera didn't feel good about this. The fact no one could understand them, including Matt, was uncomfortable. Matt was probably listening to their conversation – when she found him again, now seeing him better since they danced in his direction, his face was frustrated. Foggy and Karen weren't with him anymore.

"No shit, Sherlock. But why? He can't even appreciate how amazing you look tonight. These dress... wow. You're a stunner. You're getting better with age, like wine. And only put on just slightly on the very right places..." His hand slid lower than it should. She drew it back where it belonged. That was rude.

"He appreciates me enough," she cut him off, desperately wishing for him to shut up.

"Guess his hands are intact. He uses them a lot with you, huh?" No, not rude. He was being vulgar. "Still, Verčo... he's blind. You can do so much better."

"He sees me better than anyone."

Alex didn't say a word for a while, making several combinations they knew from their early years. Along the way, he managed to sneak his hand under the dress, touching her inner tight.

Vera gritted her teeth. "Alex," she strained through them and he rolled his eyes. His hand disappeared though.

"Is it about the money? ... No, can't be. N&M are charity. Is he so good in bed that it's worth it?"

That's it. He was talking bullshit, knowing he could, because no one would make out a thing of his words. She did not want to continue this conversation. And she fucking wanted him to keep his hands in check, dammit!

"He has many qualities. He's smart. Funny. Attractive. Gentle..." ...Bad-ass... "...Tactful - he wouldn't insult anyone's date for one. Or boyfriend for that matter. And it's none of your business."

"...why are you speaking English?" Alex asked her in Czech, absolutely baffled.

"Because I don't want people to get the wrong idea," she spitted out and gave the audience a lovely smile, when Alex opened their hold and she had to tilt back a little. God, she was glad they didn't dance tango. On the other hand, there were definitely some sparks between them now. Passion. Not the good kind though.

"Like what?"

"Like we are having a pleasant conversation, when in fact you're being an-" do not swear, people may hear you and you're here with Matt, do not disgrace him even more- "jerk."

She swished her leg with elegance, but with enough strength to knock out his teeth if she aimed it just a little more to the left. The pair closest to them quickly made a spin to get out of her reach. Sorry.

"That's some passion you have in there. I always saw it in you. Too bad you were taken and stubborn."

He couldn't take the hint. He simply couldn't, could he?

"Yeah. That hasn't changed. I am still taken. And I prefer the word faithful to stubborn." Or both at the same time.

"Come on. We'll have some fun. He won't even notice if we disappear. He probably wouldn't notice anyway since-"

"I am leaving." Vera stepped back – he let her go, not expecting it - and turned on her heels. He grabbed her hand and spun her close again.

"It's not polite to leave during an unfinished dance," he said in an arrogant voice. Vainly jerking from his grip, her anger reached to an unbearable level. She let it out.

"I'm sorry, Matt," she whispered very quietly, knowing he would hear her.

Her slap echoed in the room and few people dancing in their proximity shot them a shocked look. "How about that, Alex? How is that agreeing with the etiquette?"

He touched his cheek lightly, gaze flicking to his fingers after – like checking for blood. Idiot. "I like when the girl is wild," he exclaimed, smugness appearing on his face again.

"So does Matt." Not that she would know, but she wasn't going to tell that to Alex. "Say something like this again, touch me like this and I'll bury my knee in your balls. I happen to know you need them quite often." She wanted to leave, but he still held her forearm.

"Ver-"

"Let go of me, or I swear-" she growled at him

A hand appeared on his forearm as well. "You heard the lady. Let her go."

Vera glared at the newcomer, surprised. It was Foggy. And his expression was murderous. Gone was his goofy grin.

Alex was obviously torn, looking around himself – several pairs stopped their dance, watching their exchange. He let go and held his hand high in a defensive gesture. "Letting go." Then he smiled wryly. "Offer still stands though."

Vera bit her tongue to stop herself from yelling, which would be very inappropriate no matter what language she would use. She also fought the urge to kick him in his balls for real –but there was a red print of her hand forming on his cheek (which wow, she had used her left hand, she wouldn't expect it work that well) and that was satisfying enough. She rather accepted the arm Foggy offered and let him lead her from the dance floor. She noticed Karen standing aside – they had been probably dancing earlier as well.

"Thank you, Foggy."

Foggy eyed her, full of admiration. "It was a fabulous slap. Seriously. It would win a medal in the Olympics, you know, if there was a slapping competition or something like that..." His face brightened gradually as he spoke. He was cute.

"YAY for me. But thank you, Foggy. Really. You saved me."

He grinned brilliantly when she yayed. "Sir Foggy Nelson, knight in shining armour for hire. At your service." He gave a tiny bow. Vera laughed. "Now, I'll deliver you to the man of your heart if you let me."

"I do not wish for more, Sir Nelson."

Karen didn't join them, waiting for the return of her dance partner. Foggy led Vera through the small groups of people, who were giving them the strangest looks. Vera mentally counted to ten and back. It didn't help. They reached their table still guarded by Matt's stiff figure. Vera couldn't read any emotion in his face.

"Here we go. There are other issues demanding my attention. Would it be all right if I leave you alone with this man, my lady? Do you feel safe in his presence?" Foggy kept his act and Vera hoped it would change Matt's blank expression.

It didn't.

She sighed. "Of course, Sir Nelson. There is no place I feel better and safer than by his side," she claimed in a serious voice, eyeing him peripherally, "only in his arms."

Foggy walked backwards with another bow and disappeared. Smiling, she turned her attention to Matt completely. It was not a nice picture to look at.

"Well, that wasn't exactly the most pleasant dance I've ever had."

"Wasn't it?" he deadpanned and Vera really looked at him.

His face was pale, lips pressed in a thin line. Tense posture. Clenched fists. She knew that expression well – except this time, it wasn't the mask hiding the hard glare of his eyes – it was the glasses. It didn't matter. She could tell he was pissed off. Royally.

It made her feel miserable. And guilty. "Of course it wasn't. I think it even made it the worst five and that's saying something."

His body broke into motion. His movements were sluggish, seeming it took a lot of effort to do so. He faced her, raised his hand and placed it on her back like getting ready to dance too. She leaned into it subconsciously. Yet, she didn't understand.

Then his hand slid lower, agonizingly slowly, stopping at her bottom. There was nothing romantic or seductive about it. It wasn't his gesture. He was repeating Alex's action. Vera squeezed her eyes shut, standing straight again, removing his hand.

"I'm sorry. I should have seen it coming. He was sleeping with the half of our group. I was one of the rare people who didn't fall for his... whatever. He stopped trying after a while. I'm sorry," she repeated, examining his face, searching for any sign of forgiveness. With no success. "I was really hoping you missed that part of his inappropriate behaviour, there were people around us by the ti-"

"It's burned into your skin like a brand," he said in cold voice and Vera swallowed against the lump growing in her throat. Burned like a brand. She shivered at the idea in attempt to shake off the feeling of impurity.

"How-how do I wipe it away?" she asked, afraid of his reaction. She felt like a schoolgirl being chewed for having her homework eaten by her dog though - it wasn't her fault only.

Matt sighed, helpless laugh escaping his lips. "You can't."

"Okay," she mouthed, not sure he heard her or whether she even wanted him to. She blinked against the tears in her eyes. Dammit. She needed to go to the bathroom. She couldn't cry here. She took her purse. "Excuse me for a min-"

Matt's hand shot out, grabbing her forearm, pulling her in his arms, hiding her from the world. He buried his face in her hair. "Sorry. I didn't want to- I didn't mean to upset you more than you already were. I am not mad at you. I am mad at him. It's just... hard." He inhaled deeply and she wondered if her dance partner left traces Matt could smell as well.

She sobbed with no sound, breathing in his scent. He was using unobtrusive cologne – any distinctive smell would probably bother him - but up close, she would notice the light tones of santal wood mixing with his personal scent. It comforted her at least a little, allowing her to think more clearly, realizing things – like people around them staring, most likely.

"Can you replace it?" she asked him and carefully freed herself from his hug.

He blinked in surprise. "What?"

"The smell. The imprints. The brands. Whatever. Can you replace it? ... With yours?"

His posture relaxed, hint of a smile creeping to his lips. His fingers traced the lines of her jaw gently, wiping away a few tears that had escaped her eyes. Vera felt like the sun came out again.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can."






-----Notes:

Karen's dress: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/07/09/48/0709484bc59f86db1d97e0090c1c5099--sexy-homecoming-dresses-prom-party-dresses.jpg

Best damn avocados in law and the memory of the sharks (♥).
I miss Brett.

And the latin shoe note is actually true. It's a bitch, because you have to always wear them with you in extra bag.
I have never done group-pair dancing (or whatever it's called), but I know it's a thing. 

Also, language barrier. Kill me now.

Title from Rhodes - Somebody

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