Author's Note: Dedicated to . . . . KarenRitter :)
Chapter 18
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I pull back from the kiss I just went in for, once I ran out of breath. Although I felt that, maybe I wouldn't regret falling for him, I think I might regret that kiss. . .he doesn't like me back, I was sure of it. Otherwise, wouldn't he have invited me to make out with him, like he did with other girls? Was it just because I was smarter than all those other girls? If he did like me, then he wouldn't have tipped me out of the canoe earlier in the camp, but. . .he could have changed his mind. Then why didn't he push me away just then? Did he even care who was kissing him, but it was just all about the action? Argh, so many questions! I realise I'm staring at the wall. Did I actually regret that kiss? Do I really love him?
I quickly stand up and run through the hallway and outside into the cool and breezy alley way street. I lean against the brick wall, taking deep breaths. I hear the door open and Josh coming towards me. I hear him scratch his head, or something, his arm or neck maybe.
"I didn't know you'd regret it," he says. But he doesn't sound upset.
I don't say anything.
"I mean, I know I might use girls all the time, but, like, please don't regret that,"
"Oh, Josh, that's not the point," I whine.
I let out a long sigh.
Sophia comes out. She doesn't realise anything is going on.
"Alright, ready to go back?" She asks cheerfully.
Josh nods.
"I'll just say goodbye."
In a matter of seconds, he comes back out. I didn't want to go in at the same time so now I go in to say goodbye.
We slide into the car and Josh puts his brace back on.
"I really don't like the idea of you taking the brace off anymore," Sophia says sternly, but she's got a touch of humour in her voice.
"It affects my work," he says.
"You can still cut onions up can't you?"
"No,' he replies, 'unless the bench is as high as my head."
She laughs.
"Well, if you keep taking it off, your jaw will never heal."
The rest of the trip is silent and Sophia only talks again when she drops us off.
"Alright Josh, take care off youself, and Scarlett, hope you can join us tomorrow, the old folk love you!"
I manage a smile and I wave to her and then she's disappeared out the gate. It's just me and Josh.
"Do you want me to-" I start.
"No, I'll get the nurse,' he smiles. 'Scarlett?"
My eyes meet his.
"I just hope you don't see me the way most of the others see me. I've had a hard life, but I'm not complaining. I suppose I just found a way to use it, and, I enjoyed it. Please don't regret that kiss, because I sure didn't. G'night Scarlett."
Then I'm left there, just taking in and reading what he said. I felt guilty, because during the time I was with him, I still had thoughts of him being a player, and he's done so much for me. And he's right, he just found a way to enjoy it, rather than staying miserable.
"Wait! Josh!"
I can still see him in the distance. He stops short and turns around. I half walk, half run toward him.
"When. . .when I kissed you,' I say. 'I thought to myself how much I loved it, but I was afraid, you didn't see it the same way."
I think he understands where I'm going, but I didn't want to upset him by it.
"I understand why you do what you do, but when you kissed me back, I didn't want to just be a part of those other girls."
He doesn't seem at all bothered by what I mean, but I see a slight grin.
"Scarlett, I haven't been with anyone since Morgan," he smiles.
I look at him and he nods.
"Well,' I start slowly, 'I was thinking. . and. . I think I finally. . . finally know the truth."
He cocks his head slightly, but he's patient.
"I-I. . . I'm in love with you," I say.
He grins.
"Do you want me to tell the truth?" He says.
I suddenly becoming wary, hoping he wasn't going to say. . 'Well, I hate you.' He takes a deep breath in before he starts.
"Me. . well, I've loved you ever since I saw you. . .But I'm controlled...with girls who actually mean something to me, who I'm really in love with. And I knew you were smarter anyway, so it's not as though I could lure you to me." He laughs.
And I laugh too, and although we both like each other, we had to same idea. He puts his arms out and I willingly go into them. We stand there, Josh hugging me tightly, in the middle of the night.
"We'll keep this for when my jaw heals,' he says, placing a finger on my lips. 'I know patience. I had to put up with it for years."
I smile, and he smiles back.
"Can I come to your room? I whisper, 'I'm alone.
He nods slightly and I take his arm, just incase he almost trips. We quietly walk into the front office and down the hall to the room. He opens the door and it creaks slightly.
"Hop in," he says.
I look at him unsure. He frowns a little. He was so innocent and had no stupid ideas. He was pretty smart. I climb in. At least these clothes were comfortable. He doesn't bother changing. It must be hard for him to sleep with the brace. He props a couple of pillows up and climbs in next to me.
"What will the nurse think?" I whisper.
He seems a little concerned.
"Nothing. Why should she? We're not doing anything."
He turns the light off. He lays on his back. I pull the blankets up over him and then myself. I slide my arm in his.
"Good night Josh," I whisper.
"G'night Scarlett. 'Thanks for your help today."
Although it's dark, I know he's smiling.
I lay there, and think. We might love each other, but we're not dating. Not yet anyway. So it is true then. I did fall in love with the bad boy and now I truly knew, I didn't regret it.
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I wake up in the same position as I went to sleep in. Good. The nurse hasn't come yet, otherwise Josh would be awake. I slide my arm out of his and gently get out of the bed. I sit on the floor, near the door, so it doesn't look like I've been here all night. Just then, the door opens slowly. The nurse comes in.
"Scarlett, you're here early," she smiles.
I nod.
"I didn't want to wake him yet," I say.
She looks over and frowns.
"Why does he still have everyday clothes on?"
I swallow.
"He didn't want to get changed. . .he was too tired, so I put him straight to bed," I lie.
She just nods and moves over to wake him up. He groans as he does and soon opens his eyes, looking at the nurse and then me.
"Morning Josh,' she says cheerfully. 'Time to get you dressed!"
She looks at me hesitantly.
"Oh," I say.
I smile and leave the room.
"I'll do his shirt too sweetheart," she says.
I nod and shrug and step outside the door. I wait until she finally dresses him and they come out to the hallway.
"Let's go get some breakfast," I say to Josh, taking him by the arm.
He nods in agreement.
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During breakfast, we don't talk about anything that happened last night. Not the kiss, not the admitting feelings, not going to his room. Nothing. It's like it didn't happen, and I didn't really want to talk about it anyway. If I didn't like Josh in that way, then I would be happy just to be his friend, and so, if we do end up going out, I want to have this time just to be friends.
We almost do the same as yesterday, take a walk in the woods, forests and fields. We don't even show any affection, except for me just holding onto his arm, but I always did that anyway, just to be careful, and at the moment, I liked it that way, with no affection, just us being us.
Once we had had lunch, we were called to the head office. Although the doctor was supposed to come every two days or so, she said she had to take Josh back to the hospital.
"Why? I cry, 'what's wrong?"
The doctor chuckles.
"Nothing dear, just another x-ray."
I got to follow them out but I'm stopped.
"No, you can't come," she says.
"Why not?" I ask, "I'm his. . caretaker."
I don't know what else to call it, but I am.
She makes a scoffing sound of noise. I'm immediately angry.
"And I am a doctor, you are just a child. Come on Joshua."
"No!' I yell. 'I have to come, I have to look after him!"
I go to stand beside him, taking his arm but the doctor whirls around.
"GO AWAY YOU IDIOT!" She yells and she pushes me.
This was all so sudden. Yesterday she was kind and nice, and now, she's. . rude! And before I know it, I'm falling, crashing into Josh. I catch my balance but Josh doesn't. He's gone crashing onto the floor, holding his head just in time so he doesn't smack it.
"MY JAW!" He yells.
He's swearing his head off and I can see the tears flooding into his eyes. The doctor is fuming, and she's trying to help Josh up.
"That won't be necessary!' Mrs. Wilson yells. 'Amubulance are on their way!"
She gives the doctor a stern look. The doctor's face hardens.
"You will be sued and replaced!" Mrs. Wilson adds.
I'm leaning down and helping Josh up.
"Josh, I-I'm so sorry! It's all my fault!" I stutter.
"It's not," he says. His voice is calm but I can hear the pain.
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Soon the ambulance arrives and now I'm not sure whether to go with him or not, after all I caused.
"Come," he says, as lays down on the bed in the back.
I still hesitate.
"It's not your fault. Please come." He stretches his hand out.
I finally climb in, and hold his hand. I just hoped his jaw wasn't damaged even more.
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Relief has flooded me. It's not damaged, just a couple of light bruises. The doctor told him he was lucky not to have broken his neck, after falling over, with, the brace on.
"Your jaw is almost healed! He says. "You probably need the jaw on a couple of weeks more!"
It was good to hear, and I'm surprised its healed so quickly. It's been two weeks since then.
I apolgise to him all over again, but the male doctor just says it was that other doctor's fault. She'd be fired.
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"Here that? He says, once we're on our way back to the camp. "Just a couple more weeks and I can breathe again!"
I smile.
"You're lucky," I say.
"Very," he replies.
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Tori98 :)