I never realized how much it hurts to have your hopes crushed
I didn't realize how hopeful I actually was to see you
I couldn't see myself being emotionally attached to someone I didn't talk to
I couldn't see myself getting hurt by you
Even when you didn't mean it intentionally
I didn't want to cry,
or sob,
or bite my lip as I sat in my car
after you left
I didn't realize that me waiting for you didn't affect you as much as it did me
Five months of waiting for someone I actually wanted to try with
It hurts to get your hopes crushed
It's hurts to feel like I am not worth waiting for
Not worthy being faithful to
How is it I am willing to wait weeks
months,
years,
For someone I barely know
But you can't give me the light of day
because you don't think you can date someone so far away.
Why get my hopes up
Why kiss me
This was the last attempt
I'm done,
Crying.
Hoping.
Waiting.