Kabanata 38
Francis Dion and Francoise Lauren
Tanaw ang papalubog na araw galing sa aking balkonahe ay may yumakap sa aking binti. Ibinaba ko ang aking kopita sa mesa bago siya nilingon.
"Hey, baby why are you here? You're not enjoying your playtime with your friends?" Tanong ko at umupo sa upuan tabi ng lamesang pinagpatungan ko ng kopita. Ngumuso siya at kusang umupo sa kandungan ko, she likes it when we're like this.
"J-je te veux avec moi. Are you enjoying here, Mommy?" Aniya at tinanaw rin ang lumulubog na araw sa harap namin. This is all I wanted right here, the scenery and the person I am with.
Niyakap ko siya at sininghot ang buhok niyang amoy strawberry, her favorite scent. Then I kissed her cheeks and neck, she giggles because of it
"Mommy, don't!" Aniya at umambang baba sa akin pero niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. This is my life. She's my life.
I faced many obstacles four years ago, I cried every night to Ate na walang alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganoon. I don't know how to tell them the truth, that I am bearing a child with him. I didn't tell them until the middle stage of my pregnancy. I don't know but there were no severe symptoms of pregnancy like what Ate Xena experienced. Maybe my baby didn't want me to get hurt.
Graduated High School pregnant but none of my batchmate or any one from the school noticed. Ate said that because of my frame, hindi halata na buntis. Natatakot nga ako kasi baka magiging premature o magkasakit ang baby ko dahil sobrang liit ng tyan ko.
My parents got mad not because of what we did, it's because of him. Panay ang iling ko ng minumura na siya ni Dad, I keep on explaining na wala siyang alam kaya natural lang na wala siyang pakielam.
My parents pulled out their shares from Johansson Group because of that. I told them no dahil naging mabuti sila sa amin but my Dad was furious. I know that they know the merging of the Johansson Group and the Wilson Enterprises and they are just being bitter about it. Bringing personal issues to work won't benefit both of the parties.
I just want a simple and happy life with my baby but my parents want otherwise. Every time they're here, to visit us and our children, Mom and Dad are proud to introduce Lauren and Dior to all of their friends in France. They even hosted an extravagant event just for the first birthday of their grandchildren!
Nobody knew I became pregnant, hindi ko alam kung alam nila na anak ko iyon at hindi kakambal ni Dior. Maybe because Lauren also calls Ate Xena "Mama" like what Dior calls me. The two looks alike from a far, maybe the lips and the skin color na pareho nilang minana sa amin ni Ate Xena but the eyes are totally different lalo na kapag malapit.
She resembles Johansson's eyes and nose. She's like the girl version of Johansson when we first met, it's like meeting Johansson again again pero babae nga lang.
"Mama? Lauren?" Rinig ko sa malayo ang boses ni Dior. Naging alerto si Lauren at mabilis na bumaba para gulatin si Dior sa pintuan
Tagumpay ang paggulat niya sa pinsan kaya tumawa siya at mabilis na nagtago sa likod ko sa pag-ambang kiliti ni Dior sakanya.
They're in a matchy clothes, Lauren is wearing a floral print dress and white sandals while Dior has the same floral print like Lauren's dress on his polo shirt.
Gusto namin ni Ate Xena na pagkamalan silang kambal dahil sobrang cute nilang tignan kapag pareho ang damit. And they all like it kaya hindi malayong pagkamalan talaga silang kambal.
They're also at the same age, mas matanda lang si Dior ng dalawang buwan kesa kay Lauren.
We have a celebration tonight for my graduation and the reunion of Lees and Tysons but I stayed in my balcony for the past hour kaya hinanap na ako ni Lauren at ngayong kaming dalawa ang nawawala ay si Dior naman ang naghanap.
Earlier I made a speech downstairs. Sinabi ko sakanilang ako ang Ina ni Lauren, they were all shocked. A decent eighteen girl got pregnant without the support of the father; iyon siguro ang iniisip nila pero wala akong pakielam. I am proud of Lauren, she has no reason for people to hate. She deserve the world and I am willing to give her mine.
But the reactions of my families were opposite. They are all open minded about my decision. Sobrang init sa puso na alam mong kasama mo ang buong pamilya mo sa problema. Kaya sa bandang huli ay hindi ko na mapigilang umiyak.
Hawak-kamay ang dalawa ay bumaba kaming tatlo para salubungin ang mga kamaganak sa baba. Pinalibutan nila ang dalawa habang ako ay lumapit sa lamesa namin ni Ate Xena. She's not in her usual smile kaya alam kong may problema.
"Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas?" Tanong ko kung may problema. Umiling siya at nag-iwas ng tingin. Tinignan ko ang mga magulang namin sa kabilang lamesa, Dad is clenching his jaw while Mom is calming him. May nangyari ba?
Kamustahan at kwentuhan sa mga kamaganak ang nangyari, congratulating both of my studies and Lauren.
"She looks exactly like you but a bit European." Sabi ng pinsan kong si Marica. Ngumiti ako sakanya at tinignan naming sabay si Lauren na tumatakbo kasama si Dior
"I'm happy for you, for having Francoise who's a nice and gentle girl pero hindi ba siya nagtatanong?" Alam ko na kung saan patungo ang usapang ito. Ang tanong na kinakatakutan ko. No one, except for my family, knows about the father of Lauren. No one knows about my relationship with him and everyone knows about him and Kelsey, who might be married now.
No one knows our story, tanging ako lang ang may alam noon. Tanging ako lang ang nakakaalala ng lahat and everytime I look at Lauren's foreign eyes, it gets me. The feeling of how I used to look at his eyes.
I'm at my study table, summarizing the company's monthly report when the door open. With her minnie mouse pajamas, Lauren appeared hugging her stuff toy that's with her since she was a newborn.
Sinanay namin silang dalawa ni Dior na matulog sa kanilang kwarto mag-isa at paminsan minsan ay pumupunta siya sa kwarto ko tuwing natatakot siya.
"Mommy?" She said while closing the door
"Yes baby? Why are you still awake?" Hinintay ko siyang maglakad papunta sakin at nilagay sa kandungan ko
"Ate Chanel and Inah invaded my room..." pagsusumbong niya sa mga pinsan niyang nagstay dito pansamantala dahil sa reunion
"Are you not comfortable with your cousins?" Umiling siya
"They still want to watch cartoons but I want to sleep." Kita ko ang pag nguso niya kaya tumawa ako
"Oh, you want cartoons right?" Tanong ko, natatawa sa iniisip na totoong rason kung bakit siya nandito
"I also want to sleep beside you Mommy. Am I not allowed because I'm not a baby anymore?" She said with some unrecognized words
"Of course not! You will always be my baby, it's just rude to leave your cousins like that."
"They won't mind, I gave them all my stuff toys and movies." she giggled and placed her hands on my cheeks
"Can we sleep now, Mommy?"
With her foreign eyes and rosy cheeks, who can resist this girl?
"I'll just finish this, baby. You go first and Mommy will be there in a minute."
By that, she hurriedly ran towards my bed and fix herself there while I finished my work. Ngiting-ngiti pa siya habang inaayos ang sarili sa comforter, agad ko ring tinapos ang mga gawain dahil sa batang makulit na naghihintay.
I woke up and the first thing I saw is Lauren sleeping beside me. Her hair is on her face kaya sinikop ko iyon at nilagay sa gilid ng tenga aqqqqqniya. Ilang minuto muna akong ang maligo at bumaba para kamustahin ang mga bisita.
I heard the elders talking outside, doon siguro nila naisipang mag-almusal naroon din si Ate Xena katabi ang aming magulang.
"Bonjour à tous." I greeted everyone before sitting next to my parents
The ladies are having tea while the gentlemen have coffees, maraming klase ng mga sandwiches sa gitna. They are talking about their businesses and their future projects.
"I want to name our new fashion collection for kids, Francoise and Francis. Is it okay?" my Mom asked, hinintay ko ang pagsang-ayon ni Ate bago mag desisyon.
People will be curious who are the people behind those names pero hindi naman nila malalaman dahil nandito kami sa France. And those are their first name na madalang nilang ginagamit.
"Is this the reason why you want us to go back? To promote your fashion line with your grandkids?" I can sense Ate Xena's temper pero pinipigilan niya dahil sa mga taong nasa paligid namin
Palipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa mga magulang ko at sa kay Ate. What does she mean by going back? Where? To the Philippines? Why?
"No, darling. Your Dad and I are lonely there, we only have ourselves at ayaw namin kayong iwan apat dito. Your grandparents also want to stay in the Philippines in the mean time so dapat lang na pati kayo ay umuwi rin."
"And you'll have a better access in our business, hindi iyong sa email lang kayo nakakausap. You have to know your employees personally at kailangang may physical access kayo sa business." Tinignan ko si Ate pagkatapos sabihin iyon ni Daddy. He is right, it's for our business. We can't let personal issues dominate our decisions in business.
I will try my best to avoid him, have no business to do with him or to their company. And besides, he have his own life with his wife and maybe have a child now. Masakit man pero kailangang tanggapin dahil desisyon ko ito; desisyon kong hindi sabihin sakaniya ang tungkol sa pagkaalis ko at pagkabuntis ko. This is the consequence and I have to bear it until I get use to it.
Ganoon din siguro ang iniisip ni Ate, she just want a simple life for our children but we can't hide them forever. They deserve everything in this world at hindi ko hahayaang maramdaman ng anak ko na nagkulang ako.
Both sides of my families are going to the Philippines so Dad rented a private plane for all of us. Katabi ko si Lauren na komportableng komportable sa nakapalibot na blanket sakanya, we shared my blanket and took a picture. Nasa harap namin si Ate Xena at Dior. Ngiting-ngiti silang dalawa ni Dior tuwing nasa eroplano hindi tulad ng mga ibang bata na umiiyak at sumisigaw. These two enjoy the scenery of clouds and the sky outside. They will also visit our relatives na nasa kabilang row and play with their cousins.
Pagkalabas ko ay tumambad sa akin ang mainit na sinag ng araw, agad na nagreklamo si Lauren sa init at humingi ng payong sa staff na nag-abang sa amin. Now she has a big umbrella for herself only. She walks first and she looks cute with her rhino bag. I took that opportunity to take her a picture and post it on my private account on Instagram.
"Mommy, where are we?"
"Philippines, baby. Where Mommy and Mama used to live."
"Asia?" She's in her whole smile, she wants to go to Japan because of the "pink tree" she - always talk about. Tumango ako sakanya
"Is there a pink tree here?" See? Her favorite color is pink so it's a big deal for her to see a pink tree.
"No, just green." Sabi ko at tumawa kami ni Ate Xena
Naawa ako sa pag nguso at pagigigng matamlay na lakad niya. Her umbrella will go down if she continues walking lazily kaya lumapit ako sakanya at kinuha ang payong at binuhat siya
"On your fifth birthday, we'll go to Japan to see that Sakura tree so don't get upset okay?" By that, she nodded and hugged me tight. Kaya noong pumasok na kami sa sasakyan ay iyon ang bukambibig niya hanggang sa nakatulog sa byahe
Parang alam na ng mga magulang namin na uuwi kami, some guest rooms are renovated to become a nursery room for Dior and Lauren. Tuwang-tuwa ang dalawa sa kanilang kwarto, it's way bigger that their rooms in France. Parang dalawang guest rooms ang pinagsama para sa tig isang kwarto nila.
Lauren's room has a combination of white and gold with some pastel colors furnitures. Her bed will make her feel like a princess and the giraffe and the massive teddy bear on the edge are her favorite. There's a huge princess crown above her bed frame and there's three frames of her baby pictures with me, my family and Dior near her bathroom. While Dior's room has a pirate theme, his bed is formed into a ship.
Iniwan ko muna si Lauren sa kwarto niya at pumunta sa kwarto ko, pagkabukas ko ay tumambad sa akin ang ibang-ibang kwarto ko. The walls are white pero may naiibang desensyo kung nasaan ang aking kama, it has a design of marble and there's a massive picture of me and Lauren during our photoshoot last year. In the picture, I was kissing while carrying her and the background is the famous Eiffel Tower. She's holding four pieces of pink and white balloons that symbolizes her age.
My furnitures upgraded and even my bathroom and walk in closet are different but the clothes I left were still there.
Inasikaso ko rin sina Grandma and Grandpa sa kanilang kwarto, it's been years since they last visited the Philippines and knowing Grandma who might invented the word socialite party, there will be a party for them lalo na't maraming kakilala si Grandpa na foreign companies and top companies of different kinds in the Philippines.
Sigurado akong kasama ang pamilya niya sa imbitado, it will be a big question to the people and to the media of the absence of the Johansson. He might have an idea na nakauwi ako at habang wala pa iyon ay iipunin ko muna ang lakas ng loob ko para maging handa na makaharap ulit ang nag-iisang lalaking minahal ko kasama ang anak namin.