After I nearly had a mental breakdown at the thought of me having feelings for Matty, we left George's and went back to Matty's flat. Our flat.
I still had the weed in my system, so I stumbled the whole way there, almost passing out a few times from getting light headed.
"Are you alright to keep walking? I can call a cab if you can't walk anymore." Matty said, watching me trip over my own feet.
"It's only a few more minutes, I can walk." I said, ignoring my screaming legs. My body was very relaxed before we left, and it was angry to leave that comfortable state of sitting on George's floor.
Matty made sure that I didn't fall flat on my face the rest of the way home, and I had successfully made it to the sofa, letting my legs give out and plunging myself onto it.
"Are you really that tired from walking 13 city blocks?" Matty laughed, kicking off his shoes and sitting down next to me with much more grace than I had.
"My body wants to sleep for the rest of my life." I groaned, staring up at the ceiling.
He laughed again.
"I used to get that too. Now it's weird if I'm not high or intoxicated in some kind of way."
I didn't respond and thought about what happened in my brain earlier. I cannot let myself have a crush. Not on Matty, not on Ross, George, Adam, Vee, Finn, or anyone.
I remember in 1st grade I had a crush on a boy named Tomas. I wrote his name inside the cover of my notebook with a heart around it and a girl next to me snatched it from my desk, holding it up and chanting "Hayley loves Tomas" while I stared in horror as the class laughed. After that, kids would make fun of me every day for it, any time I wrote something down they asked if I was writing his name in a heart. Even though that happened as a child, I'm still afraid of something like that happening again.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" Matty asked, breaking me from my thoughts and back to reality.
I shook my head, trying to forget everything that has happened after coming home from Vee's.
"Nothing, just thinking."
I could feel his eyes on me, watching the gears turn in my head and my expressions changing as my mind wandered.
"You're a liar. I can see all over your face that you're upset, tell me what's wrong."
I sighed and closed my eyes.
"I can't tell you."
Matty paused.
"Why not?"
I stayed silent for a moment, taking a deep breath to try to calm my nerves.
"I just can't." I opened my eyes and scanned over his face, obvious confusion written all over it.
He nodded at me and turned on the TV, tuned to a local news station.
"A father from Manchester says his daughter mysteriously disappeared from their house last Saturday night after leaving to go to the store, he returned to find she was nowhere to be seen." The newswoman spoke, a serious look on her face.
My eyes widened and I hoped that it was just a coincidence, maybe another girl in Manchester got kidnapped the same day I left.
"When she was still missing after morning, he took it to the authorities to send out a search party to find his daughter."
My heart was beating out of my chest, air was barely making it into my lungs as I hoped and nearly prayed for it not to be me.
It couldn't be, right? My father wouldn't send out a search party would he? I thought he'd be too drunk to care for long and move on.
A photo of me dating to about a year ago came onscreen, along with my name, age, height and other descriptions of my features below it.
My heart stopped at that very moment. I felt my entire world falling apart.
"Hayley? Are you alright?" Matty asked, looking at me with concern.
I didn't respond and continued to stare at the television, breathing heavily.
"She disappeared from her home three days ago and hasn't been heard from since. Police are searching the area and interviewing potential suspects of kidnapping. If you have any information about Hayley or her location, contact the police station immediately-"
I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, still in shock.
"Hayley?"
I felt tears start to prick my eyes and lunged towards Matty, burying my head into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Hey, you're alright. I won't let them find you, okay? You're safe here."
He wrapped his arms around me, gently rocking back and forth as if I were a child that had woken up from a nightmare. I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake up from.
Matty managed to calm me down enough after promising me a thousand times that I was safe. My mind was still racing and no amount of convincing would change that.
My father was looking for me. He has the police on his side, and once they find me I'm stuck back in hell, where I'll never be able to escape again. He'll make sure of it.
"He's going to find me." I said barely above a whisper, my voice cracking.
"Hayley, he's not going to find you. You're safe here." Matty assured me for the five hundredth time.
"He has the police out looking for me, and once they can't find me in Manchester they'll make their way to London and find me. They'll probably take you in too and accuse you of kidnapping me. I can't let you go to prison because of me, you've done nothing wrong."
I tried to hold back tears, I had already cried enough to fill an ocean.
"No matter what, I'll do everything I can to keep you safe, okay? I'm not letting you go back to your abusive father for my sake. If I end up in jail, you have George, Ross, Adam, all the friends you've made in the short time you've been here have your back. I promise you."
I stayed quiet and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans, taking in a deep breath.
"Why do you keep promising things?"
Matty sighed.
"Because I know that I can keep them."
I sniffled and closed my eyes, resting my elbows in my lap and my head on my palms.
"Okay."
It stayed silent for a few minutes, Matty not moving from his place in the couch, letting me breathe. I stayed resting my head in my hands, trying not to think about the dread I felt hanging over my head.
My brain felt like it was pounding against my skull, sending waves of pain throughout my head. My eyes were puffy and raw from crying and my nose was red from rubbing it against my sleeve.
An hour ago, I was high out of mind without a care in the world. I felt free, like the chains of my father had been taken off. Now it feels like the chains have been cuffed ever tighter around me, threatening to take me down at any moment.
Matty stood from beside me, touching my arm to get my attention.
"Come on." He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up.
I felt weaker than I ever had, like my world was slowly fading away.
"Where are we going?" I asked, following him towards his bedroom.
"You're going to get comfortable and relax, I'm going to make some tea and some kind of sweets, alright?"
I smiled a weak smile, nodding as he left the room.
Getting changed into pyjamas despite it being only 8pm, I climbed into the bed, pulling the covers over me just as Matty walked back into the room.
"I made you tea, brought sweets and another surprise." He grinned, handing me a mug full of warm tea and setting a plate of cookies down next to me.
"You don't have to do this, Matty, I'm alright."
"I do. I can tell you're sad, and cookies will help."
He turned on the TV and put a disk into the player, the beginning credits of the original Scooby Doo playing.
Matty sat on top of the blankets next to me, smiling a goofy smile and turning toward the TV.
For a moment, I forgot about everything except for Matty.