Mom was working on a television show. She was the executive producer. I had no plans this holiday, so I came with her to the set. "Goodmorning, this is my daughter, Ella." She introduced me to her co-workers. "Ella, these are Anica and Richard" They were about the same age as my mother. Anica was the stage and floor director while Richard was in charge of the props and lighting. They were both decent looking and formal.
Mom strolled with me through the rows of black folding chairs in the far end of the studio. It was dark, only the set in the middle of the room was brightly lit. "I will leave you here for a while, Ella. Go to me if you need anything." It had been a long time since I went to her work; it usually bored me except when I got to talk to famous people.
I smiled and waved goodbye as I picked my chair, the last on the second row. I was glad that once I opened my phone, I saw a text from Liam.
Liam: Hey!
Ella: Whats up?
We texted for a while about the coming events in school like the sports intramurals and exams. I also told him where I was. He always got excited whenever I went with mom, knowing I could meet some of his celebrity crushes and idols. When he needed to go, I just played some games in my phone. Later on, I decided to simply continue my novel on my phone app.
Hmm, Marvin.
"You're flattering me," Marvin said, sitting beside me.
"I'm not. I just wrote how much I truly love you." I smiled innocently.
"Okay. Write how much I love you more."
"Don't you wanna play hard to get?"
He smirked, "Whatever you want, Ella."
"Then you tickled me and I tickled you back." He tried to tickle me but I caught his arm. "No, no, Marvin, only in the novel, not here." His laugh made me laugh.
"Having a fun time, eh?" I looked up and see Jamie Mendoza. He was good looking, handsome even, with his dark black hair, beautiful face, and built body. He was famous and known for his singing talent and how he gave so many efforts in musical plays. I blushed because he just caught me talking to Marvin — saw me talking to myself.
"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to intrude." He might have realized my struck.
"No, I was just talking to someone." I showed him my phone and acted I pressed the end call, but I just clicked the home button.
"Am I disturbing you?" he asked.
"Kinda," but then I shook my head, "Not really."
He took the seat beside mine. I was about to protest that Marvin was there but Marvin disappeared already. Jamie was still talking when I look back at him, but I hardly heard what he said. "Hey?"
"Sorry, what was that?" I asked, dumb folded.
He grinned, "I said your mother told me you're here. You must know me already but I take this time to introduce myself; I am Jamie Mendoza."
I took his stretched hand and felt his warm palm against mine. I felt embarrassed because mine was probably sweaty. I smiled, "Who doesn't know Jamie Mendoza?"
"People who doesn't care?" He shrugged and we awkwardly withdrew our hands.
"Even those who did not care cared for not caring," I said and instantly felt shy afterwards, he might think I was weird. I was feeling weird now for feeling weird infront of him. "By the way, I know you don't know me and you might not mind knowing me, but I am Ella Gomez. I hope you don't mind me being here in your taping."
"'Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.'"* He was grinning now and I felt my cheeks blush. Not because I was just just listening to his song a while ago, but because... duh, he was Jamie Mendoza!
Stop, Ella! Stop, I whispered in my mind. He was another human being, okay?
After a moment of regret and denial of myself, I realized what he'd said was familiar to mine. "Dr. Seuss?" I laughed because I never imagined him saying a quote like that.
"Yeah, you have a problem with that?" He raised his brow, but I could see humor and amazement.
"I never thought you know stuffs like that." I explained.
"I am a normal person and I have a normal childhood, why not?" He furrowed his brows, this time I felt I really offended him in a way.
"Sorry, I know that." I smiled slightly, wanting to apologize.
He frowned a little and eyed his shoes, "I just want people to think me for me, not some..."
"Not some fudge-damn hot superstar?" I blurted.
He laughed, forgetting what made him frown, "Fudge-damn?"
"I don't wanna say fuck, it's doesn't taste good in my mouth." I slipped my tongue out.
"Yeah, it doesn't look good on you."
"So, you don't want to let people think you're the fudge-damn superstar?" I revived our conversation, I did not know if it was the nice choice.
He stopped laughing. "People disregard who I am for what I am now."
I took my courage to pat his back and think for any smart reply. "Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."*
"I hate it when what I say is brought back to me." Then he grinned, "But this time, thank you."
"That's the Jamie Mendoza I seem to know." I took my hand off his back and winked at him.
He smiled wider. "No girl winked at me before."
"Really? Not even in movies?" I sipped from my water bottle. I had not eaten lunch and I only had milk and bread for breakfast.
He shook his head. Oh, I just winked at this damn-hot superstar. "And I never thought it will be this intimate."
"Intimate?!" I almost burst the water in my mouth, I choked.
"Yes," he laughed and rubbed my back to help me recover.
"Excuse me, I didn't mean to." I coughed.
"You have handkerchief?"
I searched my handbag and pockets.
"Here," he handed me a blue checkered hanky.
Oh, I had seen this in movies and read in books. I was not interested to have that scene with this famous superstar I just personally met minutes ago. "No, thanks," I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, a clumsy thing to do.
He ignored my declination and wiped the lower part of my mouth himself. I was struck once again. His eyes focusing on what he was doing, so I was aware he was looking at my lips. Geez, this was humiliating.
I grabbed his wrist, took his hanky and wiped myself. "Thank you, I can do it."
"You can keep it." he winked.
"You're winking at me?" I asked, keeping his handkerchief in my bag. No way would I give it back after I use it for my waste.
"Yep, and I know it is not your first time that someone winked at you."
I remembered the few times Liam winks at me and also Marvin. I shrugged, "Several."
He chuckled. "Boys will always be tempted to wink at you."
"I hardly notice that." Did they? Nah, it was a stupid and awkward thing to do.
"Are you free this afternoon? For late lunch?" He invited with a smile saying I could say no.
"Sure," I said before I even process a response.
"Yes!" He exclaimed. "After the taping?"
I nodded, "But I have to ask my mom's permission first."
"I know Mommy Klar will approve." My eyes widened. Mommy?!
"Jamie Mendoza?" Someone from the crew called him.
"I have to go, talk to you later, huh? I hope you enjoy the show!" He winked at me again before standing and following the tall and chubby woman with corn-colored hair. I can see it is not her real hair because it doesn't match her tan skin.
I just talked to Jamie Mendoza. Among all people who would guest in this noon show. I knew people were dying to be in the same spot as I had been five minutes ago. And we would have lunch!
"Jamie Mendoza..." Marvin said dreamily as he sat on the seat vacated by Jamie Mendoza.
"There you are," I said stopping my thoughts.
"Yeah, and guess what: I am sitting on the chair where the Jamie Mendoza sat for almost twenty minutes." He smiled proudly.
"I can't believe it. He is one of my idols and I'll have a lunch with him."
"So... you like him now?" His smile faded.
"Of course I do, always! But as an idol." I looked at him and laughed, "Wait, are you jealous?"
He shrugged innocently, "No?"
I hugged his neck, not caring who might see, although all people were now gathered in the center for the taping. I could hear a strong voice shouting orders, the director, and other sub orders from the crew. "Don't be, you know I won't trade you for whomever superstar or rock star. And who knows? If our novel will be published, you will be as famous and girls will swoon over you," though I had no plans of really sharing him to others.
I glanced at the center of the studio and saw Mom looking at me with curiosity. I leaned back at my seat and wave at her, smiling. She sighed and waved back. I recalled Jamie Mendoza calling her "Mommy." It felt awkward, did he do that everytime? I simply stood, took Marvin's arms and left my things on my chair.
"Where are we going?" Marvin asked, following me.
"Somewhere no one will care if I hug you." I opened the door to the lavatory at the farther end of the room and entered. It was a small lav with toilet, sink, counters, and mini shower.
"This is a place where no one will care. Now I get it, just the two of us." He smiled.
"Yep, just us because these are the only things that matters the most." I returned his warm smile that truly sank in my heart. "I love you, Marvin. I always do."
~
After the taping of their episodes, Mom let me have lunch with Jamie Mendoza.
"Where do you want to eat?" It was almost three and I felt my stomach grumbling.
I wanted to say 'To the nearest restaurant we will see!' But I realized it was not in my good manners and right conduct to do so. Instead I just said, "Anywhere."
He drove his super tinted sports car that I assumed costs a fortune for someone just becoming twenty-year-old, well maybe not for a world-known singer, though. He startled me by entering a mall parking lot. "Are you serious? Jamie Mendoza in a mall with... me? Tell me I am dreaming." I said to myself loud enough that he heard.
He chuckled, "Yes, any problem with that?"
"Hell, no!" I snapped. "I am worried for paparazzi or crazy fans."
"No, don't mind that. We have it under control." He got out the car and opened the door for me. "Come on?" He offered his hands but I was too shy to take it knowing mine wouldbe sweaty again. And I was aware Marvin might be watching, only he could hold my hand all the time. I got out all by myself and let him close the door.
We walked across the parking lot to the entrance. "Don't you use shades or other disguise?"
"A part of being in-disguised is not to be in-disguise. Just blend in."
"How about securities, do you have?" I saw same situations in movies or books whenever there's some popular celebrity.
He rested an arm around my shoulder and prevent myself from swooning or trembling (what the hell). "Miss Ella Gomez, we met only four hours ago, please don't be too anxious about my security or yours. I assure you we will have a successful and peaceful lunch."
"Okay," I muttered.
We entered the revolving doors of the mall through the security checks. I glanced at him to the male line, I felt paranoid that I was with this hottie celebrity.
"Chinese restaurant, Filipino restaurant, Japanese restaurant, or what?" he asks, as we meet again.
"I don't know, what do you prefer?"
"Fast food?" he suggested.
"You eat fast food?" I was shocked to know that.
He sneered at me, but he could not hide his amusement and fun, "I told you earlier, I am normal. I do what most things you do."
He led me to a fast food restaurant. I suggested that I would be the one to take orders while he reserved our seats, because I was still paranoid the cashier would know him because he chose a fast food restaurant which he had a commercial with, basically his pictures holding a burger and chicken legs are all around. After a few minutes, I went back with a tray of our meals.
"Burgers, fries, Coke, hard seats and a famous superstar; I think millions of girls are actually dying to be in my situation right now." I gestured to the group of girls taking a photo with his life-sized standee near the entrance.
"And are you grateful you're here instead?"
I sat across from him. "Not really," I lied.
"Good." I thought my answer will defy him or he might feel mocked. "I want you to act like I am just a friend. A normal friend." He smiled sheepishly.
"You're saying you are not normal?"
He shrugged. "I don't mean I hate everything I have now. I just— I miss being treated as normal."
I did not know, maybe it was because of his eyes or the way he gestured at his food that made me believe and understand him. "Is it that hard?"
He looked up at me from his food. "Yeah, really. Despite the fame, the gifts, the fortune."
"And the girls." I teasingly added.
"Not really." He shook his head, smiling. "I never had a girlfriend."
"Oh, tell me you're kidding."
"I'm not. It is in the contract not to have until my manager reached his goal."
"What goal?"
"Earn the money he expected to have from me."
"But—" I cut myself from prying.
"I think they always think money runs this world. And we are like a factory that produces them."
He must have read my mind because he answers my unsaid question.
"Jamie Mendoza, a lot of people adore you. Their worlds mostly revolve around you."
"Ella, thanks. Please, just call me James."
"James?"
"It is my real name." He grinned.
"Oh. I never knew that."
"I hate how Wikipedia revealed it."
I chuckled. "You hate your real name?"
"Well, James is different from Jamie. I decided to keep that far enough."
"Like Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana?"
He laughed. "If that's what you think of me, then fine. Yes, just like her."
"Cool." I said. "Hi, James. Nice to meet you." I stretched my arms. I was not used to call him by this new name. Superstars lived with their full name. It was a package or rule if you were just an ordinary fan or expectator. Well, for some, first names became natural for the "super fans".
He took my hand. "Nice to meet you too, Ella."
"So, James," I said, starting a casual conversation. "How often do you eat fast food?"
"Everytime," he smiled at me and added, "When I was eight."
"But now that you're not eight?"
He laughed. "Been a while, I have people to bring burgers and such to me everytime, but..." he hesitated. "But it's been almost three years since I really really ate in this normal fast food chain just because I wanted to, not for a TV commercial."
"You're craving for a normal life, aren't you?" I could not keep the question to myself.
He nodded slowly while taking a bite of his burger. "I am, though I pretend I don't," he said. "That's the thing about being a celebrity, I think. You have to pretend. A whole life of pretending."
We ate silently after that, both because of awkwardness and real starvation. We did not spend more time in the mall. I knew he might be tired because of the taping and a lunch with this not-so-special fan. We headed home. I was flattered when he opened the car door for me.
"Nice to meet you, Ella Gomez."
I smiled. What was he saying? Like it as his privilege I knew him? Seriously?! "It's my pleasure, Jamie—" I corrected myself, "James."
~~~
Footnote:
* © From Dr. Seuss