"Is that some kind of a bribe?" Vera asked, suspicious, sensing something fishy about her friend waiting for her in café at 5:15 with tea and a slice of cheesecake.
"You bet your ass it is. I want to know everything," she answered, not even bothering hiding her ulterior motives.
Vera rolled her eyes and passed the table Terri was sitting at. "Then I guess you better put the cheesecake back."
"But it's your favourite!" her friend exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.
Vera didn't react and left to change to her uniform. She made sure there were some stickers in her pocket. When she came back, Terri was still sitting there, pouting.
"Terri..."
"Come on! I don't want any juicy details! I mean, if you wanna share, that's totally cool, but..."
"There are no juicy details to share!" She smiled for herself, sitting across from her friend, reaching for her cup. Terri reached for the cheesecake. "Hey, I thought that was meant for me!"
"It was. But then you decided to go all tight-lipped, so..." Terri eyed her, considering, then gave her a bright smile, "give me something and it's yours."
"Ew. I am not exchanging the info about my love life for a cake!" Vera objected, offended. "But I might tell you something, because you are my amazing friend and I'm sure you're happy for me and you helped me with the stickers which he obviously liked very much."
"Do tell!" Terri moved the cheesecake to Vera's side of the table anyway.
Vera tried really hard not to grin like a teenage girl with her first crush, but just the memory of yesterday made her all tingling.
On their way to her apartment, Matt had asked her to dinner with his May I? and expression almost timid, like there was any change of rejection. She had said yes, of course, they had settled on Friday and exchanged numbers, so he could let her know the details. He had asked her about her preferences, horrified when he had found out she had only had chinese once (in a crappy stall), vietnamese did not agree with her and she had never had mexican or anything else. When she had admitted she wasn't much of a wine person (or any kind of drinker, really), he had seemed on verge of desperation. When Vera had gathered her courage again and kissed him at least on his cheek (just because she could) with 'I'm not so hard to please' he had smiled at her gorgeously and pecked her lips with 'okay'. They hadn't talked much after that, both lost in their thoughts. In front of her apartment building, he had taken her face to his hands, cold due to the autumn night air, and kissed her slowly, deeply, sweetly, making her dizzy for the third time that day and given her another small kiss on her forehead for goodnight. She had made it to the flat before she started giggling like crazy, realizing retrospectively he could have probably heard that. It had made her giggle even more. She had texted Terri goodnight and went to bed after quick shower. She fell asleep with a goofy grin.
Now, she kept it together for the sake of her friend. Or so she thought.
"Oh my god, you got it soooo bad," her friend laughed at her and Vera looked at her in surprise. "You just zoned out for like three minutes. Also, you're grinning like an idiot. It looks good on you. What happened yesterday?"
Vera tried to make her lips to stop smiling. It took a lot of effort and worked for about five seconds.
"He kissed me. He kept his promise and walked me home, safe, as you know since I texted you. Asked me out."
She kept it simple. She didn't want to give away how over the heels she was for him and how tender and passionate he was. How quickly their relationship changed, how they couldn't stop touching (or at least she couldn't) and how natural it felt.
"Wow. I am so impressed with your narrative skills," Terri exclaimed with annoyance, but she was smiling too. "Just tell me something. One more thing."
Vera didn't like the tone of her voice. "Shoot."
"Is he a good kisser?" And oh, Vera did not see that coming. She totally should have though.
"Yes," she blurted out immediately, not even thinking about it.
Yes. Oh my god, yes. She would kill for another kiss, because it made her toes curl and he hadn't even need to use tongue and on Friday there were going to be more of those kisses and-
Terri squeaked. "OH MY GOD, you're so full of it! You are blushing SO hard right now!"
Vera hid her red face in her hand and squeaked too. "I am NOT!"
"Yes, yes, you ARE!" she laughed and smacked her arm. "I'm happy for you."
Vera peeked at her between her fingers. Her friend was teasing her, but her eyes were shining with honesty.
"Are you having a nice coffee break, darlings?" an annoyed voice of Olivia no.1 (read Olivia herself) mocked them and Vera snapped back to reality.
"Sorry." She shoved the cake in Terri's direction, sticking out her tongue.
There was no way of wiping off Vera's smile that day anyway.
---
She started to panic on Wednesday evening. Naturally, she called Terri.
"Terri, I have no idea what to wear. I have no idea where are we going! What if I wear cocktail dress to fast-food or denim miniskirt to a five-stars restaurant! I mean, it's not like I have cocktail dress in here, but-"
"Vera!"
"What?!"
"He's not taking you to fast-food."
"Yeah, he wouldn't do that-"
"Also, what do you mean you have no cocktail dress in here? Were you planning to hide in you apartment whole year? Jeez, girl. We are so going shopping tomorrow."
"We are?" Vera asked her, surprised. Why was she so surprised— oh, right. "But you've got a date with Victor."
"I do," Terri admitted. "And?"
"And?!"
"So we're going before that. I'm free tomorrow, just like you. Stop freaking out."
"But-"
"Yes. Butt. We are going to make sure your butt looks great." She made a dramatic pause. "Or feels great, whatever. Deal?"
Vera let out a shaky laugh and took few deep breaths. "Okay. Okay. I'm not wearing splints for the shopping and for the date. It's gonna be alright."
"Wrong. It's gonna be a legendary story I am going to narrate your future kids. Get it together. And for god's sake, do not text him to ask about the place you're going. Goodnight." Terri hung up.
The idea of texting Matt hadn't occured to her until Terri mentioned it. And truth to be told, it sounded like a perfect plan. He wouldn't have to tell her the exact place, right? Just a hint? So she wouldn't embarrass herself. Or him for that matter.
Vera took her phone and started texting. She deleted every single word the very same second she wrote it. It sounded so stupid no matter how she phrased it. And Terri had said not to text him. She hadn't say a word about calling though.... Her heart stopped at the idea of hearing his voice and also her making an ass of herself while not being able to finish a single sentence. Nope. No calling.
Hey Matt, sorry to bother. I just wanted to ask about Friday. Is there anything in particular I should wear? I mean, formal, semi-casual? Wouldn't want to make a faux-paux. V
The moment Vera pressed Send, she wished she hadn't. She groaned, falling to her bed (and ouch, ribs were still very sensitive despite the doctor's permission not to wear the elastic bandage anymore) and buried her face into her pillow.
As if Terri knew exactly what Vera had done, Vera's phone started ringing.
"Ježiši Kriste," she groaned into the pillow and reached her phone blindly, accepting the call. "Terri, I did something terrible."
Silence followed. Then: "I guess it's a good thing that I know a good attorney then," the very male voice said on the other end of the line and Vera yelped, checking the ID just to make sure.
"Matt. Hi." He's cancelling the date. He's cancelling the date because he realized you're a total looser.
"Is it a bad time?" he asked hesitantly, probably bewildered by her desperate voice. Vera supressed another groan and tried to sound like a normal person. She sat up on the bed.
"No. Not at all." And ha! he might actually be as lost as she was, because he couldn't hear her heartbeat now. Could he?
"Oh. Good." He didn't sound like he believed her, but he let it slide. "Clothing is up to you. I wasn't planning any high-class restaurant or something like that, even though if you want to, I can change it of course-"
"No! No, I mean— I'm sorry. I freaked out. I wouldn't want to... uhm." And here it came, her extraordinary ability to form a sentence which would actually made sense... not.
"Wouldn't want to what?" he asked softly.
He's not gonna laugh at you. It's Matt. He's never laughing at you, flashing amused smiles, yes, but not laughing... Doesn't mean he can't think you're being stupid, though.
"I wouldn't want to... to people think you are going out with someone like... total lowlife with no sense of fashion, okay? Which I totally do not have, I don't understand the five different types of formal clothing and you probably do and even though people might think you are on a business dinner with a client, it would be still embarrassing as hell and you are a freaking lawyer the whole Hell's Kitchen loves and like everyone is getting coffee at MDDC, so they might recognize me and-" she was rambling now and she was talking about things she shouldn't, because it was her worries and not his problem, and she was hyperventilating and it made her chest hurt and her head spin and not in a good way.
"Vera. Vera, calm down," he urged and Vera realized he might have been trying to tell her something for a while, so she shut up, biting her cheek to keep herself from talking. "I want you to remember, that I'm taking you on a dinner, okay? You. I don't care about the five different types of formal clothing, it's shit. I care about you. No super-fancy restaurant, where you have to worry about using the right fork, unless you want me to make a different reservation. Otherwise don't worry about it. Wear anything you like, you feel comfortable in, be yourself, because that's the girl I asked on a date, because I think she's amazing."
Vera felt relief washing over her by listening to his voice alone, speaking in a soothing tone, so close to the one he had used when he visited her in the hospital the first night. She appreciated his sweet words and she wondered how exactly she deserved the attention of this man. And then there was-
"Did you just make a Pretty Woman reference?" she asked him on the edge of tears and a maniac laugh.
She could hear the smile in his voice. "Maybe. I'm looking forward Friday. I have a reservation at seven, is that okay? You rather walk or take a cab?"
"I... I don't know. Seven is great. Maybe a cab there and walk back? Or reverse? Or both cab? I... it's up to you Matt." I am making an ass of myself already by admitting I am OUT of my mind.
"Cab and walk it is. I'll pick you up around ten to seven."
"Thank you, Matt. And I'm sorry for... uhm, the scene. I really am. I'm looking forward Friday too, very much," she admitted in a small voice.
"That's all I need. Good night, Vera."
"Night, Matt."
He hung up and she fell back to the covers, hand over her mouth. Her feelings were mingling in her as she was incredibly touched by Matt's speech. When she recalled her own rambling, she remembered that at some point, she had said lawyer the whole Hell's Kitchen loves and realized how close to the truth she had been. Vera might not be in love with him yet, but she was falling in love with him in an astronomic speed and the dizzying feeling of a free fall never felt so right.
She couldn't fell asleep that night. She read for few moments before noticing she was reading the same page over and over again and the image of Matt's smile and warm gaze was swimming in front of her eyes. She gave up, put on her comfy hoodie and sweatpants and opened a window, nestling on its inner and partly outer ledge. She closed her eyes since they were no real use now and listened to the city rush she never liked. Hell's Kitchen was different from Prague. Not better, not worse. Different. Pulsing like a human being, whole with its liveliness and imperfections. She wondered whether Matt liked it or he just came to terms with it. Vera couldn't hear any cries for help. She wondered how the city sounded to him while he was listening to it, letting the noise consume her. It was overwhelming. She couldn't stand it. Yet, she managed another minutes before closing the window, stripping and sliding into her covers. Her sleep was restless.
---
Terri chewed her. She was furious about Vera not listening to her advice and swore her revenge. Also, she pointed out the bags under her eyes and smacked the back of her head for not sleeping enough. They took a cab and when they arrived, Vera was certain her friend found the biggest mall on the island of Manhattan.
And Terri took her everywhere. She admitted she kinda liked the style with the leggings and skirt Vera wore the first day she came to MDDC (how could she remember that was a mystery for Vera). She claimed that since Matt wouldn't no able to see how hot she would be on their date, Terri would make sure the whole Hell's Kitchen noticed, so he could hear them whispering and wolf whistling. Vera was actually worried when she realized he actually would hear every single comment about her.
In the end, she liked the outfit they found, including the new shoes. Terri promised her the last stop. Vera stood in front of the boutique and refused to come in, because she did not need new underwear (especially not because of the date, she was not planning on things going... there), Terri let out an ooooh, honey noise and dragged her in. She made her put on a freaking negligee which barely held together and Vera was blushing just from looking at it. Terri bought it for her as her punishment and Vera was determined to shove it in the darkest corner of her closet and never ever wear it.
They left after five hours and Vera was exhausted. Her arm was prickling from the constant changing. Maybe she shouldn't have put the splints off just yet. The cab driver dropped her in front of her building and she split the bill with Terri again. Sharing a cab was significantly less pricy – still a bitch though.
---
First hours of her Friday morning shift were painfully slow. After nine, it blended together and she almost missed Foggy getting coffee for him and his co-workers. She added a sticker on Matt's and wrote YAY on Foggy's cup since it was a foggy day and handed it him the cups in a holder with her grin poorly hidden behind a polite smile. He hadn't noticed, but his gaze flickered between her and Barbara thoughtfully as if he was solving a very difficult puzzle. Outside, he examined the cups and his head snapped up in her direction through the windows. She couldn't resist and gave him a cheerful wave. He disappeared in the crowd as fast as he could.
In the afternoon, she actually napped, because she didn't want to fell asleep on the date she was excited for since Tuesday (which was highly unlikely, Matt's presence made her hyper-alert, but better safe than sorry). She took her time with preparations, but didn't put a ton of cosmetics on her face – she wasn't used to it and she had a feeling that Matt would know. Plus, it was raining.
When Matt texted her the cab would be at her place in five minutes, she stepped out from her flat making sure she used her right foot first. Saying she would nervous was an understatement. But Matt waited for her at the door with an umbrella, offering her his arm, small honest smile on his lips and she suddenly knew it was going to be alright.
The ride was short and quiet. Matt toyed with her fingers whole time and paid for the taxi. When they got out the car, she would swear she heard the driver whistle at her. She was probably right, because Matt shut the door with more force than necessary and placed his hand to the small of her back. Vera fought the self-satisfaction radiating from her face.
Matt chose a very nice restaurant; maybe not super fancy, but definitely not cheap. She sighed in relief when she looked around and assessed she was not underdressed. She liked Matt's outfit too – he was wearing plain dark blue shirt and black trousers. No jacket, just coat. The only annoying thing was his glasses – when the hostess seated them at their table in less crowded part of the mexican restaurant, he took them off. Vera appreciated it.
When she handed them their menu, Vera found out she had no idea what any of those words meant. Also that Matt wouldn't be able to read it. She considered shortly before she spoke up.
"You... do you want me to read it out loud? I mean, I could... but I'll mess it up, because I don't speak Spanish and never heard of these before."
Vera eyed him nervously. Was it offensive? She felt like it was their first date after only one brief meeting and she didn't know how to treat him.
"I would love to hear that," he said with a hint of an amused smile, (well, thank you), "but I know the menu. Personally, I would recommend quesadilla. It's a classic and this place is good at it."
Vera nodded. "Okay. Okay." An idea struck her. "Ever been to Mexico?"
He laughed. "No. No, no. But I like to think I do recognize good food when tasting it. I never left New York, Vera."
And Vera wanted to sink into the floor. There was probably no use for a blind man to travel much. "Right. I'm sorry. That was a stupid question."
Their waiter took their orders (Vera had no idea what Matt ordered for himself, but he sounded freaking hot while doing it. She definitely had a language kink from that moment.) and Matt frowned. Then his face cleared and he flashed her a smug smile.
"It's okay. And you're beautiful tonight."
"How could you possibly know that?"
His grin widened. "The waiter." Vera shot their waiter a look – he was watching their table attentively. "He can't take his eyes of you. How do I know that? Call it an educated guess."
Did the waiter say something to his colleagues? Could Matt sense attraction? Or could it be his pulse elevating? Maybe it was the way their waiter moved? Matt sensed or heard that? Damn.
Vera huffed. "Thanks. I guess. But I didn't dress up for him," she admitted and Matt bit his lower lip while still smiling.
"Glad to hear that. So, can I ask... why New York? Or Hell's Kitchen for that matter?" he seemed genuinely curious. Vera didn't blame him. If someone chose to move/visit New York, Hell's Kitchen would hardly be their first choice.
"Coincidence."
"Coincidence?"
"Okay, more like luck. My friend's aunt bought an apartment here after the... attack, apparently she was hoping the price would go up in time. She's from California, though. I don't get it, but hey. Nina, uhm, her friend, she's taking care of the apartment for her. I just dropped out of college. I needed a change. Jumped the opportunity of relatively cheap rent and more or less knowing someone here."
Their food arrived and since Matt had pointed out their waiter's attention earlier, she noticed his eyes were sliding along her figure. It made her uncomfortable. Matt cleared his throat and the waiter jumped and fled. Their food looked delicious though.
"That was rude," she exclaimed, "he didn't even told us to enjoy it."
Matt chuckled. "Well, I hope you will."
Oh, she did.
They fell in comfortable silence, until Matt interrupted it. "College? What did you study?"
Vera tensed. She wasn't proud of that. Or quitting it. Or both. "Med school."
His eyebrows shot up. "Really?"
"Yeah." Vera hesitated. She didn't want to talk about her reasons for running away from it, it wasn't exactly the perfect topic for a date, but on the other hand, she wanted to tell Matt something. And he would know if she lied, so she pretty much didn't have a choice. "I was always the girl who had perfect grades. I met a guy when in high school. He pretty much convinced me to try out med school, because he kept saying that I am too smart for not to. It wasn't what I wanted; I hate chemistry, don't like physics. But it was a challenge and being doctor is noble enough. I was handling it, even passed my biochemistry class by some miracle. We broke up and I realized I wasn't happy there and M.D. was his dream, not mine. I wouldn't make a good doctor. So I dyed my hair and escaped to America," she finished, trying to ending with a light note.
Matt obviously didn't know what to say and welcomed her escape route. "What colour was your hair?"
Her lips twitched. Good call. Smooth. "Light brown. I switched to black."
"I'm sorry."
Vera frowned. "For what?"
"It didn't work out for you. You-" he felt silent, like he wanted to say something but then changed his mind. Vera desperately wanted to change the subject.
"So... why lawyer?" she asked the big question despite being confident she knew his answer. He wanted to help people. Bring justice.
He surprised her.
"It was my father's wish," he said with a soft smile, "he wanted to me use my brain and not fists." That turned out well. "He was a boxer. But I guess you know that. Everyone knows. Just like everyone knows about how I lost my sight."
"I saw the posters at Fogwell's..." Vera admitted hesitantly. She could tell it was a sore subject for him. Not that she blamed him. "And yeah, Terri told me the story of a nine-year old hero. Sorry."
He let out an unhappy chuckle. "Yeah. Anyway, he never treated me differently after the accident. Believed in me. Kept telling me that I could probably read braille faster than he could read newspaper. After he died, I wanted to do something to honour his memory."
"And help people," Vera continued before she could stop herself.
Matt looked at her face curiously, inquiring. "What makes you to say that?"
She rolled her eyes, feeling sorry he couldn't see that. Could he hear an eye roll?
"Seriously? Matt, you're an attorney accepting payment in bananas." And running around saving people with your ninja skills instead of sleeping. "It's kinda hard to miss that altruism is a dominant part of your personality."
Corners of his lips turned up slightly. "Sounds rich, coming from you."
"Sure. I am saving lives on a daily basis. Giving caffeine junkies their daily dope."
Matt gasped. "Are you calling me a junkie?" he asked offended, hand dramatically over his heart, wounded. Vera almost snorted.
"No. You're entitled. And I like you. You're not acting like an animal to get yours," she added so she deflected his attention from saying him being entitled. But he was. When did he even sleep? – Right. Claire told her he probably didn't.
Vera examined his face, looking for signs of exhaustion. She couldn't find any. The light in the room was dim, yet his eyes shined. He seemed happy.
"Thank you. I appreciate I am not considered an animal." Vera huffed but didn't comment.
They both finished their meals and their waiter carefully asked about desert. Vera was full. Her gaze kept flickering between the waiter and Matt, trying to figure out what he would like.
"Well?" Matt encouraged her, leaving the choice to her. The waiter gave her hopeful smile. She almost felt bad for what she said after that.
"Well, unless we're sharing and you're eating most of it, honey, I have to refuse."
Matt smiled brilliantly, anticipating she was mocking that poor guy. "Then I guess we have to wait until next time, sweetheart." Waiter left their check and disappeared, face different shades of red.
Matt's 'sweetheart' echoed in Vera's ears. She actually liked it. She would get used to it.
"Shall we?" he asked her and as they stood up. He put on his glasses again, offering her an arm despite her being the navigator.
"Ready when you are."
-----Notes:
The chapter was freaking long, so I divided it into two. Fluff is what I live for.
Title inspired by Birdy and Rhodes – Let it all go