A/N: This is the edited version of Chapter 4. For those who have been reading the previous, early release of this chapter, I would recommend you to re-read this chapter as I have removed, added in and changed some dialogues and so on to fit the story better. Thank you for your understanding and support!
Luke's face soon turned to some sort of realization and a flash of hurt as he said, "Stel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I just..I hate what that son of a b*tch did to you, ok?" Luke explained, looking at me for forgiveness as he drives his hand through his already messy hair, frustrated.
"Enough, Luke." I said. I was so emotionally drained that I didn't have the energy to bicker with Luke anymore.
"I'll just pack my stuff and leave. I'm sorry to bother you but thank you for everything." I said as I started to leave the kitchen.
I had this habit of just simply wanting to leave whenever I faced a difficulty and this was no exception. My words can't describe to you just how tired I was, emotionally. I'm sick of all this. I'm sick of the things that are slowly chipping away any joy I have left in me. All I want now is to leave and be left alone. To be able to just crawl into a bed and cry my heart out. I just... can't stay in this place, with Luke any longer. The argument we had just now was just an eye-opener to me. To make me realize how Luke and I have actually drifted apart. Because of me, we may never go back to the way we use to be. Luke would never raise his voice at me like that but who could I blame? I left him due to my selfishness of wanting to seek love. I left him, knowing that he would affect my relationship with Nathan. I could feel the guilt eating me up every day as I thought back to the times I ignored him.
I couldn't be any more grateful to have Luke providing me a shelter and a place for me to sleep after what happened yesterday. He was there for me even after all these times. It is ironic how I left him, and now, karma struck me back but still, he appeared. Still willing to be with me through my darkest times. But now, my emotions are all heightened, my emotions are in a mess and I just to leave. I need a place quiet. A place where I could think. A place to calm myself down.
"Stell-Wait!" I felt a hand gripping tightly yet gently on my arm. Luke was tugging my arm, signaling me to turn around.
"Where are you going?" He asked puzzled and worried as I turned to look at him.
Before I could utter another word, wanting to explain to him my messed up emotions, we were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the door. We both looked at each other, puzzled a moment. It was clear that Luke was not expecting any visitors, especially now, this early in the morning by the look on his face.
We stayed in our position for a few more seconds before the sound was heard again. Luke reluctantly let go of my arm and let out a small annoyed grunt, not liking someone to have disturbed our conversation as he was clearly waiting for my explanation. He walked towards the door and impatiently opened it, without even bothering to look through the peephole before doing so. The moment he swings the door opened, he just stood there dumbstruck with his hands still on the doorknob and eyes wide opened. I could see how his body tense slightly. I walked towards him, curious as to who is at the door, only to find a beautiful woman that is around the height of Luke, probably a tad shorter, but still tall. Luke is pretty much a giant to me so just imagine that. But her giant stature just enhances her body curves and well-toned, long slim legs that any girls would die to have. She had beautiful long curly black hair that is placed on her shoulder to expose her long neck and a ruby-colored dress that just matches perfectly with her red lipstick and nails. She carried a confident smile as she spoke. " Hey." She said, her eyes only focusing on Luke. Her eyes wandered up and down Luke, seemingly checking him out as she waited for him to reply her.
"R-Rebecca, what are you doing here?" Luke asked. Was that panic in his voice?
"I thought I would visit you." She said in a matter of fact tone as she shrugs her shoulders as though it was not much of a deal. She had a seductive smirk that tells otherwise and the ways her eyes twinkle with a bit of lust that was hard to miss.
Luke looked flustered at the scene in front of him and started stealing nervous side glances at me.
The woman finally an acknowledged my presence after noticing Luke's glancing at my way. Let's just say that seeing a woman inside of a man's house doesn't give one much to think with because the woman mood instantly changes from seductive to downright hatred.
"Who is she?" She asked as she leans her weight on one foot, looking at me with disgust. Ouch.
"She's.."
"I'm Stella." I cut in. Trying to make my voice sound as kind as possible although her looks and attitude were starting to irk me. Not to give the woman any further assumptions, I explain the reason I was here was to visit Luke as a friend. That was the only excuse I could think of without making this situation anymore misunderstood. I had no idea what kind of relationship Luke and this woman had. I remembered Luke telling me, not too long ago how he had not found his "significant other" and it seems that he was not planning to do so anytime sooner so who is she?
Anyway, this awkward tension between the three of us was getting more unbearable every second it passes so I've decided to make my leave. It felt as though I was the one intruding and I could see how the woman in front of me was clearly not happy with my existence. It felt right at the moment to probably give this two to some time alone.
"I'm very sorry for my intrusion. I guess I'll just get going now." I said, cutting off the tension between us as I picked up my duffle bag that was conveniently as the side of the entrance, on the floor, where I left it yesterday. I gave that woman a forced smile before leaving in which she didn't return back but instead, let out an audible scoff, shifting her eyes away from me as she took a step back away from the door, barely giving me enough space to make an exit.
I looked behind me to see Luke surprised at my departure and was probably about to ask me why am I leaving when our previous conversation was not yet finished. His mouth was hung open, wanting to speak when he was interrupted by Rebecca's unexpected action of walking into the house, crossing the threshold to loop her arm around Luke's in order to drag Luke further in the house, to the living room and slamming the front door shut, shutting me out with her foot while doing so.
I adjusted the duffle bag on the shoulder and letting out a small sigh.
[_**_]
Walking down the streets again... practically homeless. The streets are oddly busy in the morning with people walking around, getting to work. I was deep in my thoughts...thinking about...Nathan. I know it hurts but I just can't seem to stop my mind from doing so. I still kept asking myself questions like, "Am I not good enough?" I was too trained in my thoughts that I almost missed a familiar car that was driving past me. It didn't take me long to recognize it by the black exterior of the car that I have grown to know. Nathan's. I froze in my steps. No no no. Just please drive past. I begged in my mind. I can't face him. Not right now.
But instead of agreeing to me, the car suddenly stopped a few feet away from me. The sound of the car screeching to a stop could be heard clearly. I could see Nathan, dressing in a suit coming out of the car, hectic. His buttoned-up white shirt that was below his jacket was tucked messily under his well-tailored pants. His tie was hanged loosely around his collar as though he had been fiddling with the tie over and over again.
I quickly turned the other direction and walked away as fast as my leg could go, trying to act as though I haven't seen him but I doubted so. I could hear him calling out my name in a distance. It sends a weird feeling to my heart like he did every time he says my name but this time, it was sending my heart racing in nervousness.
I can't face him. Because I know for certain that I will break down in a matter of seconds and right now, I am on the edge of doing so. The pain doesn't just heal instantly. I need time. Away from him. But sadly, he wasn't giving me that because not moments later, I felt a hand gripping tightly on my wrist that felt all too familiar.
"Stella, just listen to me. Please..." He begged, sounding desperate.
I was just moments away from breaking down because whenever I see him, my mind is just clouded with him and that woman. It was like a video that kept going on replay and his voice and begging was not making it any better for me. But I was determined to not shed a tear for him although it was too difficult of a task.
"Let go of me." I grunted out, trying to sound determined and strong but it came out more like a weak plead. I did not turning around to face him but tried to pull my wrist. I was shaking my hand more vigorously as he tightens his grip on me. "I said, LET GO OF ME!" I screamed, almost begging him, noticing at the side of my eyes that strangers are glancing our way but I didn't care. All I want now is to get away from him.
I was able to free my hands from him and was going to continue walking or more like sprinting away from him but I was not able to get far as I moved a couple of steps in front, his hand gripped me again but this time, he pulled my arm, making me involuntary turn to him. I was about to lash out again but was not able to as he quickly pulled me against his chest and wrap his hands around my body, causing me to be trap underneath his arms.
"Let. Go. Of. Me." I said in between hits as I punch his chest, demanding that he free me right now, feeling the tears prickling my eyes and a lump in my throat.
His scent. I miss him. I hate to admit it but after what he did to my heart, I still miss him. The scent of his cologne and musk, mixing in with the scent of his shirt just reminds me of the times where I was feeling down, he would always be there to comfort me. Bringing me into his embrace and rubbing my scalp soothingly. Or every night, we would cuddle up together. I miss all of that. I miss the comfort. I miss the unconditional love he gave me.
"I'm sorry..." He said, very airily and defeated as he places his face on the crook of my neck. His lips were lightly brushing my shoulder as he spoke. His voice was so faint that I would have almost missed it if it weren't for his face being placed right beside mine. I stopped hitting him monetarily as he continued.
"God, I'm so sorry, Stella. Please, I beg you, don't leave me. I was an asshole. I made a mistake, and because of that, I broke your heart." His arms around me tighten.
"I can't live a moment without you. I can't bare another thought of waking up without you in my arms. Please...just come back... I love you, Stel. So...damn freaking much."
I just stood there, in his embrace, dumbfounded. I didn't hug him back. No. I just broke. Hearing those three words from him again that hasn't been heard for months. It was just three simple words but it meant so much to me. I love him. I bared my soul to me. But he broke me. He shattered my heart to a million pieces that I thought could be no way possible and...it hurts.
I could feel Nathan's arm tightening slightly around me as I cried. My hands were splayed on his chest and my head was laying on his chest. I could hear the faint heartbeat of Nathan's.
"Forgive me, please." Nathan begged, not leaving his face off my neck.
I slowly shifted my head and body away from him, creating some space between us again, as I wiped off the tears that have fallen on my face with the back of my hands. Nathan's arms were still around me but this time, I was able to take a good look at his face. His had dark circle under his eyes and his eyes were puffy red as though as he had just cried. I could see his stubble, noticing how he did not even bother to shave them off like he usually would. He was a mess. Did he really regret all those things that he has done? Did he really suffer when I was gone? I was so confused right now, not knowing whether to believe him or not. A part of him that was still head over toes over him was telling me that he was indeed telling the truth. That his life would be incomplete without me but the small part of me was having doubts. Thinking that all this was just a plot to win me back. That he needed me but does not truly wants me.
But the better half of me won as at the moment, I...
"I-I forgive you."
I was so blinded by love that at that moment, so vulnerable, so desperate for him that I...forgave him. I was that easy. That pathetic.
Nathan's body visibly relaxes as he embraces me with another hug, bringing my body close to him again and this time, I returned it. I slowly and hesitantly wrapped my arms around his torso, placing my chin on his shoulder. I closed my eyes as processed this moment. Nathan was back.
I slowly opened my eyes again to see a figure standing in the middle of the street, far away from us. The figure was looking at our direction. I squinted my eyes to remove away the tears that were blocking my vision and to get a clearer view of the person to find-
Luke. Just standing there with...hurt? on his face. I could see how his eyes would close momentarily before opening them up again. Before I could even break off Nathan's embrace, Luke turned around and walked away.
[To be continued...]
A/N:
So how did you feel having Stella and Nathan back together so quickly?