The same routine passed, where I would pick up Echo, take her to Aldea and then bring her home before bedtime. True to her word, Anna paid me fifty dollars each hour I had to babysit so by the end of the week I had enough money to pay the first month of bills and a small amount of food.
I had gone hungry most of the week because most of my money went towards travel and rent, but I ate a little at Anna's house a few times. I felt bad for eating food without paying for it, but then I realised I was already babysitting her kid I'm sure she wouldn't miss two slices of bread.
On the way back from dropping Echo off I made a stop at the local supermarket to grab a few things. I was running low on the essentials so I made sure I was stocked up with pads, soap, bread and other packet foods which were relatively healthy but cheap.
I had gotten into the habit of drinking strong coffee and green tea, having recently just tried English tea. Each time I ordered the man at the counter and I had a friendly conversation before I'd go my separate way while he stayed to serve other customers.
One night I met a senior cop who started visiting the area because of the increased antisocial behaviour. We sat and chatted for a while before he left to make a round in his cruiser. I started building friendships as I settled down, something that made living in a run down block easier.
"So Rori, how are you tonight?" Donny, the cop, asked.
"Same old, same old." I shrugged, cradling the cup of coffee in my hands.
"You look terrible. When was the last time you slept?" he asked.
"I don't know. I can't really remember. The days all blur into one. I think it may have been Saturday?" I shrugged nonchalantly. The door opened and a gust of chilling wind swept in. Since the month of October had arrived, the weather was getting colder and I was struggling to stay warm in my apartment with some of the heaters broken and the electricity too expensive for me to afford.
"Kid you gotta sleep." He said, patting my arm before quickly retracting his hand. I remember I was weary of him at first but he reminded me so much of my father it didn't take long to trust him. I hadn't told him all of my past, but he promised he'd keep me safe without knowing the full story.
"I know. But the nightmares are getting worse. Last time I was drowning in water again and I couldn't breathe." I had only just started to open up to him about my nightmares, not delving into details.
"But it's not healthy for you. You work, what, three jobs? And on top of that you have to study. You're going to be working yourself to death."
"I won't die." I rolled my eyes.
"Just promise you'll try and get some sleep tonight?" he said, his brown eyes softening in the light.
"I can't promise anything, but I'll try." I gave him a slight smile.
"You're going to be the death of me kid." Donny chuckled.
"I'm not a kid. I'm almost eighteen, an adult." I frowned.
"Till then you're still a kid." He grinned. Donny was a widower but didn't have any kids, so he unofficially adopted me. He had tried to convince me to move in with him but I was too prideful to accept I needed help, but allowed him to check up on me occasionally. He came to my apartment at least three times a week and we met up at the café almost every night. He had even met Anya and Katia when I invited them round. Unconsciously I began filling up the holes in my heart with the love people from around me.
The last few weeks I avoided Christian and he avoided me. I knew that we weren't going to get the project finished at the rate we were going and since we only had a week before we had to submit it I spent a few sleepless nights working on it. It wasn't going to be our original idea so I resorted to just writing a report instead.
"So today you need to submit your projects. Those who have done a presentation may start first, all the others may put their reports on my desk by the end of the lesson." Our teacher said. Felicity and Lucas had planned a PowerPoint and were the first to go up. I sighed as my eyes kept flicking to the doorway wondering if Christian was going to walk through. But he didn't so I added our report to the small pile on her desk and left for my next lesson.
The Governor's Ball was in a few days so all my classmates were buzzing with excitement. All the girls were talking about their designer or custom made gowns while the boys were talking about all the hot girls that had RSVPed. I sighed, knowing that although I attended the prestigious school I would never fit in their social circles.
I was sitting in English with my earphones in my ears, tapping my feet to Nsync when Christian walked in. "Ah Christian, nice of you to finally make it to this class." Our teacher called out. I frowned, not understanding what the teacher had meant.
"I was busy." He shrugged. His eyes found mine and held them there. I looked away first and flicked through the book in my hand. I increased the volume of my music and concentrated on the essay question on my desk. Felicity was busy today so I sat alone at the back of the classroom, hence the earphones in my ears.
"You never came." He said.
"I know."
"Why?"
"I couldn't."
"What was more important than our history project?" Christian gritted out.
"Things."
"I swear to God Rori, if you don't answer a question I'll strangle you."
"I said I had other things to do." I snapped, angry that he had threatened me.
"What other things?" he sneered.
"Drop it Christian." I whispered, feeling a panic attack starting. My hands were shaking slightly and my vision blurred a little. I took a shallow breath before curling my fingers round the edge of my seat.
"Rori." Christian glared at me.
"Christian please." I whispered, my voice faint with anxiety. Immediately his face softened as he stared into my eyes. I turned back to the book my shaking hands massaging my temples as a headache formed. My skin prickled in the breeze and my breaths started becoming shallower with each inhalation.
My eyes scanned the classroom as I began to hyperventilate quietly. Suddenly I felt my arm being grabbed and I was pulled out of the class, no explanation given. The pressure on my arm had gone so I brought my hands to my head. I was shaking and my breath had become ragged.
"Listen to me Rori." I heard him speak. Tears were forming in my eyes and I gasped to clear the lump in my throat. "Breath in and breath out."
"I..." I gasped as I continued to struggle to breathe. I almost dropped to the ground but Christian caught me and held me close to his chest.
"Focus on you breathing. Just breathe in and breathe out." I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on his voice instructing me. I felt myself doing as he said and my breathing steadied, before my legs collapsed under me. Christian clutched me tightly in his arms whispering soothing words in my ears.
"You're okay now. You're okay." He whispered. I looked up at him and shot him a small grateful smile. My eyes were heavy and were threatening to close.
"I need to go to the bathroom." I said. He nodded and helped me to the girl's restrooms. “What are you doing?" I asked when he stepped inside the bathroom.
"Coming in with you?" he replied.
"No you're not. This is a girls bathroom. You can't be here." I protested. He frowned at me.
"I don't see anyone around." He said, looking around the bathroom. I rolled my eyes.
"I'm fine. Just stand outside. I'll be right back." He sighed as I pushed him towards the door. I strode over to the sinks and placed my hands on the edges looking into the plug hole. I collected my breath properly before turning the tap and splashing water on my face.
I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror in the last few weeks and what I saw scared me. I had deep bags under my eyes, my skin was grey from exhaustion. My cheeks had sunk in so I looked gaunt and my lips were slightly chapped while my eyes were tired with a faint red rim around them. You could see my prominent collar bones through my shirt and I guessed my ribs were poking out as well. I looked like a ghost of myself, a shadow of my former being.
I splashed my face with warm water again before walking out the bathroom pretending as though I hadn't just been dragged out the room whilst having a panic attack.
"Shall we?" I smiled up at Christian who was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed against his chest and a frown gracing his beautiful face.
"I was two seconds from coming in."
"Why?" I asked. "Scared I had another panic attack, fell and cracked my head on the sink so all my brains were spilling out?"
"Whatever." He replied gruffly, turning towards the classroom.
"I'm fine." I nudged his shoulder, smiling. The teacher didn't question our abrupt exit and carried on the lesson as we reseated ourselves.
"I didn't know you were in this class." I said.
"I never turned up. Usually about this time I'd be out by the sports shed getting high on weed."
"What changed your mind?"
"I don't know. I just felt like coming today." He shrugged, providing no other explanation. "What did you do about the history project?" He coughed slightly.
"I wrote a report and added your name to it." I replied.
"I better be getting an A on that." He said.
"Whatever dumb butt." I snorted. Christian burst into laughter.
"You're so funny Princess." He laughed. I rolled my eyes and focused on what was left of the lesson.
Lunchtime came around and I had brought a granola bar and a bottle of juice to accompany me through the hour.
"So Chris, do you have a date for the ball?" Felicity asked.
"Not yet." He replied.
"I'm going with Cameron while Jess is going with Lucas." She babbled. I saw Jess blush when Lucas winked at her. I had finally learnt all the names of the people on our table and was able to hold a small conversation before it got too awkward.
Ben was flying solo, Sebastian was going with a girl from outside school. Sammy was going with her boyfriend Edward and John was going with his girlfriend Elise. Oliver was attending with his flavour of the week.
Everyone was too absorbed in their conversations that they hadn't noticed my lack of input, except Christian.
"Who are you going with?" he asked.
"I'm not going." I replied.
"How are you not going? Most of the junior and seniors go to this ball."
"I'm obviously not most people then." I said.
"Hey guys." A loud whiny voice called out. We turned to see June and Abby standing in their not-standard-issue-mini school skirts and navy knee high socks that made their extremely tanned legs look like carrots with jackets.
"As you know. The annual ball after party is at my house. Here are my invitations. All of you are allowed plus ones." Abby smiled seductively at all the boys on our table. Usually the pair of girls sat with us and I always tuned out their annoying nasally voices but today they were on a mission to hand out special invitations to the party. June went round handing each person a black invitation.
When she reached me she shot me a look of disgust before handing an invitation to Felicity and Jess.
"Where's Rori's invitation?" Jess asked.
"Oh sluts aren't invited." Abby sneered.
"Funny you should say that, considering you're the one who has slept with the entire of the male population in this school and then some." I retorted.
"You bitch!" she screeched.
"Do you see a tail or cute floppy ears anywhere?" I rolled my eyes.
"You're such a skank." June snapped.
"Don't call people names, it’s unbecoming of you." I said calmly, looking her straight in the eyes. Her cheeks were becoming redder by the second as her anger increased.
"Whatever. You're definitely not invited to the party." She gritted out.
"That's fine by me. It's not like I'll be missing out on much." I smirked as her eyes widened in fury. June gasped and just pulled her friend by the wrist.
"That."
"Was."
"Awesome." Lucas, Oliver and Ben said simultaneously.
"What?" I asked, looking bemused.
"That was seriously hot." Oliver said first.
"That?"
"Yeah. The way you took them down was sexy." Lucas said.
"Uh..." I smiled awkwardly. I glanced at Christian and he had an amused smile on his face as he leaned back in his chair.
"You're amazing Rori." Jess breathed, her eyes wide.
"No one has been able to get back at June and Abby except me because they respect me and as head cheerleader they have to listen to what I say." Felicity said.
"Forget Mahatma Gandhi, you're my idol now." Jess' said, awed.
"It wasn't that big a deal guys." I chuckled.
"The hell it was. Those bitches needed to be taken down a few notches." Ben piped in.
"Well you're welcome then." I smiled before sipping my OJ.
"You can be my plus one." Jess said.
"No it's okay. I really don't want to go. I'm not really a party person anyways." I admitted.
"Come on. It's a pool party, you can wear a sexy bikini." Felicity winked.
"Guys it's okay, I have things to be doing anyways." That day I was supposed to go out for dinner with Donny and I wasn't going to miss it for some stupid teenage pool party.
"What are you doing that's better than partying on a Saturday night?" Ben rolled his eyes.
"I've have a date." I shrugged. Before I could be pestered for any details the bell rang and I hurried off to my next lesson, Spanish. Most of the lesson we spent either conversing in Spanish or writing an essay in the language.
The final lesson of the day, geography, whizzed by as both Felicity and Jess had forgotten to ask me about my date.
I rushed out the school, as soon as the final bell rang, hoping to catch the train before rush hour began. I made my way to Aldea and started my first shift of the week. I hadn't seen Tom lately and with the upcoming ball I was glad I missed him because I didn't want to have another conversation about the darn evening.