I turned back my gaze at the stunning scenery overlooking here from the cliff. Nakabibinging katahimikan ang bumalot sa buong paligid. Tunog at ingay lang ng mga kuliglig ang halos maririnig mo. An awkward reunion with your ex-lover after so many years, I didn't even imagine that this day will come.
Before we are completely covered with all the awkwardness, I heard Elise cleared her troat.
"You.. uhm.. you look perfect tonight." She managed to uttered while her eyes are still glued unto me.
"Thanks, I guess?" I replied. "You, on the other hand, hindi ka parin nagbabago." I smiled.
"I know right? My love will want me to stay the same." She smiled back. Love? Are they using the same endearment that we used before? Bahagya kong iniwas ang paningin sa kanya dahil bigla akong nakaramdam ng pagkailang.
"She's gorgeously hot and she's too strict, very moody, terrifying when get mad but I love her a lot. I love everything about her." She smiled even bigger now. I don't want to hear her brag about Steph. But damn, I miss her so much.
"And why do you have to tell me about your wife?" Tumitig lang ito sa akin na para bang nagulat sa sinabi ko at walang balak na sagutin ang tanong ko.
"Well, I think it has nothing to do with me so, if you'll excuse me.." With that I walked passed at her in an attempt to go back in my car pero mabilis din niyang naiharang ang sarili niya sa daraanan ko. I can smell her fragrant body at this proximity. Gusto ko siyang yakapin ng sobrang higpit.
"I tried to find you everywhere and I failed, but what do you think the reason we are crossing our path here again tonight?" Naging seryoso bigla ang tono ng pananalita niya. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. Why do we have to see each other again?
"I'm going home." I said in a low tone of voice. Sakto naman at biglang tumunog ang phone ko na nasa bulsa ko. I already know who.
"Is this the surprise you are talking about? I'm sorry but I don't like it." Mabilis na sabi ko pagkasagot na pagkasagot ko ng tawag neto.
"Why are you so stubborn, Claire? Sorry but you're the one who disappeared for so long, just hear what she has to say." Kate uttered. Tulad ng hinala ko, setup lang ang lahat.
"You knew my reason and I'm not going to explain it again, not now and never!" I exclaimed. Madilim ang paligid ngunit nahagip ng mga mata ko ang mapupulang mga labi ni Elise dahil sa malamlam na sinag ng buwan at ilaw na nanggagaling sa siyudad. It's inviting me.
"You don't have enough fuel." I snapped out of my thoughts hearing what Kate said.
"Wait, what?!" I panicked.
"Hindi ka makaalis diyan unless you uses Elise's car so don't be stubborn and talk to her." *beep* I can't helped but sighed at the moment.
"Now what?!" Sarkastikong tanong ko kay Elise. I know that I am the one who disappeared, we hurt each other in the process but I am doing this because I don't want to be selfish.
I don't want to talk to her because I don't know until when will I be able to endure my longing for her. I don't even deserves to talk to her. Wala akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanya.
"Come back to me Claire." Walang paligoy ligoy na sabi naman ni Elise.
"What kind of play is this? Ha Elise?" She looks so confused with my question.
"Why are you doing this? Why are you even here? Did you plan this together with Kate? Stop it already El, everything that happened between us is long over when I gave you up. Do not forgive me, I don't deserve that and I'm not expecting you to do so, so please, let's both move on." I seriously uttered.
She lowered her head but I can see her face. Pain, sorrow, and agony is all I can see. Parang binibiyak ang puso ko.
"That's not the answer that I want to hear." Sa halip ay sagot niya sa akin.
"Elise.." Nangingilid na ang mga luha ko na nagsisimula ng mag unahan sa pag patak.
"Why is it so easy for you to gave me up? Hindi mo na.. Hindi mo na ba talaga ako mahal?" Naluluhang tanong naman nito sa akin.
"Araw-araw akong nangungulila sa mga haplos mo, sa mga mahihigpit na yakap mo, sa mga malalalim mong halik, at yung pagpaparamdam mo sa akin kung gaano mo ako kamahal. Yung mga memories na magkasama tayo na hindi mawala-wala sa isipan ko pero alam mo kung anong pinakamasakit sa lahat?" Hindi ko na napigil pa ang mga luha mula sa pag bagsak sa mga mata ko.
"Yung memory na makita kang ikakasal na sa iba. Yes Elise, you heard it right, I was there. Wishing that.. That should be me. It's not that easy Elise, it never was!" I exclaimed in pain at the last words.
"Then what about me Claire?" She suddenly bursted into tears.
"Did you even considered my feelings? Why are you so cruel? Those memories? Parang kahapon lang ang lahat-lahat nangyari dahil dala-dala ko parin ang sakit dito sa dibdib ko. I want to yell at you, gusto kong itanong sayo ang lahat ng mga katanungan sa isip ko, gusto kong ilabas lahat ng nararamdaman kong galit at sama ng loob sa pag iwan mo sa akin pero hindi ko magawa." I endured years of pain but to see her in vain like this? This is the worst.
"Because I love you Claire, I love you so much to the point na handa akong kalimutan ang lahat bumalik ka lang sa akin, but if what you really want is to end us? Who am I to change your mind?" Elise walkout and headed back to her car.
I was about to follow her nang biglang mag ring ang cellphone ko. I thought it was Kate again pero hindi pamilyar ang caller. A landline number?
"This is Claire speaking.." Bungad ko.
"Hello good evening ma'am, si Miss Claire Lindshey Salvacion po ito ano?" Tanong ng babae sa kabilang linya.
"Yes, may I know who is this?" I replied.
"Ridgecrest Lane Mental Hospital po ma'am, iniimbitahan po namin kayo na pumunta dito, may gusto po kasing makipag usap sa inyo ma'am." She politely explained.
"Wait, a mental hospital? At this late hour? Sinong gustong makipag usap sa akin?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.
"S-Shiela Marie Pineda daw po, malapit na kaibigan daw po ng mga lola mo?" Parang hindi siguradong sagot ng babae.
"Ite-text na lang po namin yung address ma'am, salamat po." Before I could say a word ay ibinaba na nito ang tawag. Weird but I recognized the name. She's a good friend indeed pero bakit sa mental hospital?
Naglakad na ako at agad na pumasok sa loob ng kotse sa tabi ng driver's seat, sa tabi ni Elise at isinuot ang seat belt.
"Alam mo ba kung saan may pinakamalapit na mental hospital dito?" I asked to her but she didn't gave a response. Tumingin ako sa kanya gamit ang front mirror, I can't look directly at her. Biglang kumabog ang dibdib ko. She's still crying. What should I do?
"Hey.." The only word that came up from my mouth.
"I'm fine.. What's the specific name of the mental hospital?" Halos pabulong na sagot niya habang pinupunasan ang mga luha sa mukha niya.
"Ridgecrest Lane Mental Hospital." I replied. Gulat na napatingin naman ito sa akin.
"What? Why?" Nagtatakang tanong ko naman sa kanya.
"Who are you visiting?!" Tanong niya na para bang may ayaw itong makita ko. Who could it be?
"None of your business." Sa halip ay sagot ko sabay iwas ng tingin.
"I won't take you there." She sighed.
"What?!" I exclaimed.
"I said I won't take you there, that place is so dangerous and it's very late at night, let me take you to where you are living." She calmly uttered while preparing to drive.
"Fine, maglalakad na lang ako mag-isa, I'll look for it myself." Pagkasabi ay akmang bababa na sana ako sa kotse.
"Hell no!" She exclaimed. "Okay, okay.. I'll take you there." Pinihit na niya ang manibela ng sasakyan at nagsimulang umandar.
"Just.. just be safe." She whispered. Walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa sa buong biyahe. Pagdating sa lugar ay agad akong bumaba at nagpasalamat sa paghatid niya sa akin. As usual, wala siyang naging response. She didn't even bothered to look back at me at nagmamadaling kinabig ang manibela paalis ng mental hospital. She's mad, isn't she? That's good.
I guess this is where we parted our ways.
Pumasok na ako sa loob para magtanong sa lobby desk.
"Good evening miss, kay Miss Shiela Marie Pineda po?" I asked na agad namang tinignan ng nurse sa database ng hospital.
"Ay ma'am pasensya na po, wala pong Shiela Marie Pineda na pasyente dito." Sagot naman ng nurse after a minutes of checking.
"Ha? Sigurado po ba kayo? Kakatawag lang sakin ng isang nurse din dito. Itinext pa nga sa akin yung address, baka nagkamali ka lang miss.." I replied.
"Miss Claire Lindshey?" Agad naman akong lumingon sa tumawag sa pangalan ko.
"This way po ma'am." Siya siguro yung nurse na tumawag sa akin kanina. Sinundan ko naman ito. Ang laki ng hospital, ang hahaba ng bawat hallway at nakabibingi ang katahimikan dito. Siguro ay natutulog na ngayon ang mga pasyente. The whole place is giving me a creep all over my body.
After a couple of minutes nakarating din kami sa V.I.P cell area kung saan pwedeng makausap ang mga pasyente. Umupo na ako sa upuan kaharap ang isang malaking salamin na may mga butas, sapat para marinig ang kausap sa kabilang cell.
"Ikaw?!" Napatayo ako sa gulat ng makita kung sino ang taong gustong kumausap sa akin.
**
To be continued..
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