Dedicated to teenfuly
A/N: Please guys listen to this song in media, it's important for this chapter
Sam's P.O.V.
"W-What?" I asked while blinking few times like that all was dream and this could wake me up.
But unfortunately nothing of this happened. She just stared blankly at other side of the room, avoiding my eyes.
I sighed deeply, of all things I could have said I decide to say what... Seriously Sam!? How stupid is that?
"I've almost died two times already. First time I let my sister die for me, one person I loved the most. She sacrificed her own life for me! How selfish is that!? It's my fault she isn't here now"
"Hey, it's not your fault"
"It is, Sam. It is." she whispered. "And second time" she stopped for a moment "Well, I don't actually know how I survived at all. Just look at all this scars and you, yourself would agree there is no chance for someone to survive it. And since that night I get flashbacks every now and then. I wouldn't sleep for nights because I was scared that I am going to go through it all over again. Since then I started having panic attacks. I'm such a mess"
I slowly brought my hand to her chin and gently forced her to face me. I have so many things on my mind that I could tell her. How sorry I am, how she is that strongest person I know, how all what happened is not her fault. But at the moment when her eyes met mine that all left my mind. I opened and closed my mouth looking for right words but there was nothing. Silence.
I just wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. I gently caressed her back until she relaxed and buried her head in crock of my neck. If my mouth can't say anything, my body can.
"I am really not expert with words but I know how to hug" I said and she chuckled. I don't even know how to hug to be honest, but it seems fine to her.
"You are helping" she whispered and I suddenly felt myself getting hotter when I felt her breath on my skin.
"You know, you can be a mess. That's nothing to be ashamed of" I said when I pulled back and put her hair behind her ear. "Messes can be cleaned up, or messes can be left how they are. But they can be beautiful either way. They are like art." I looked at her eyes and caressed her cheek "Actually no. Scratch that. In fact they are art and it just take right person to see beauty in them"
"Wow" she breathed out and smiled at me "And this comes from girl who said she is not good with words huh"
She slowly leaned on my touch and closed her eyes, while with other hand she reached for mine and intertwined our fingers. She smiled shyly and my heartbeat got faster just by looking at her smiling again.
And like all our moment this one as well was interrupted when Charlie jumped between us and literally pushed me off of Dušica. He looked at her and started licking her cheek. We both giggled and she kissed him sweetly.
"It's okay, buddy, I'm fine" she patted his head and he curled up at her lap.
"I guess you two don't need me anymore" I said an got up, but before I could walk away Dušica grabbed me for elbow, gently though.
"Stay" she whispered and looked me directly in eyes.
I was shocked at first but her voice was almost like pleading.
"What?"
"Please. Uh, just" she looked away and scratches her neck "just stay"
I have so big urge to smile but decide not to so I bit my lip and nodded. I lay on other side of bed and immediately her scent hit me. Whole bedsheets was covered with it. I had so big urge to just bury my head in pillow. I closed my eyes and inhale deeply, then exhale slowly.
I could feel her stare at me, but decided to ignore it because if I open my eyes anything could happen and I know it's not the right time. She was only wearing her over sized T-shirt and panties, without bra! I mean come on.
And then something I really really didn't expect happened. She come closer to me and placed her head in crock of my neck. My heart was beating so fast, I thought it's going to explode. It's too close, I can't be that close to people! But it kinda felt nice... Okah maybe it's not that bad after all. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and brought her closer to me. Charlie was on other side of bed so I didn't need to worry about him. I could feel her smile against my skin which made me smile as well.
"Good night" I whispered and kissed top of her head.
"Night" she said with sleepily voice and kissed my neck.
Holy crap I thought I was going to die! I felt shiver running down my body and my heartbeat being faster than ever. She, of course noticed this and curled up with me even more.
Soon, we both was slowly falling asleep feeling safer and calmer than ever.
***
I woke up in Dušica's bed alone. I already missed her warmth. I took my phone that was on bedside table and saw it's only 8am. What the hell? Where is this girl?
I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. I was so bored but somehow I didn't want to left this room. I took remote of TV and turn it on. I don't know what I pressed but cameras showed me every room in this house, except five rooms which are guest rooms where we sleep.
I start looking for Dušica and finally saw her in gym. She was doing push ups and she looked so hot. I decide to go there so I got up and walked out of room.
When I come at gym she was punching boxing bag, her back facing me. Music was playing but not too loud. She was wearing white Calvin Klein yoga pants and white bra. Her hair was tightly tied in high pony tail and there was no any make up on her back. Her every scar was visible. I just couldn't help myself but stare.
I leaned at wall and crossed my arms. Of course soon she sensed someone staring at her so she turned around and smiled when saw that's me.
"Hey" she said and walked out of boxing ring.
"Hi" I replied awkwardly which made her chuckle.
She turned music off and took bottle of water. I stared at her scar on stomach and she looked at me and then at her stomach and sighed.
"You all know, there is no point in hiding it now. Anyway I was doing it just because I promised my mom I will. It hurts her more than me when she see it" she said with shrug.
I just nodded and she took sip of water and one cap slipped away. I followed it with my gaze down her chin, then her neck. I gulped hard when it comes to her chest and looked away.
"Are you okay?" she asked and smirked.
Did she just figured out what I was doing!?
"Uh-um yeah" I said, well more like stuttered. "Anyway, I just gonna go now"
"Wait, I'll go with you" she said and picked up her things "I really need shower"
We walked in comfortable silence whole time. When we were in second floor Mia showed up.
"Hey" she greeted us. "Can I talk to you?" she turned towards Dušica.
"Yeah sure" she answered and gave me one apologetic look.
"I'm just gonna go dress up" I said and walked away.
I need to go at Dušica's room and take my phone first. When I was in TV immediately brought my attention. I saw Mia and Dušica in music room.
I know I shouldn't but something just pushed me to do it, so I take remote and clicked on that camera. Picture of music room showed on whole screen and I heard them talking something on Serbian.
"Do you have anything new?" Mia suddenly asked when Dušica sat at big piano.
"Yeah, actually. Wanna hear?"she asked on which Mia nodded.
She took deep breath and her fingers gently started running down keyboard.
I know you've got the best intentions
Just trying to find the right words to say
I promise I already learned my lesson
But right now, I want to be not okay
I'm so tired, sitting here waiting
If I hear one more just be patient
It's always gonna stay the same
She started singing and my heart started aching immediately when I heard how vulnerable her voice sounded.
So, let me just give up
So, let me just let go
If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
Can't stop these feet from sinking
And it's starting to show on me
You're staring while I'm blinking
But just don't tell me what you see
I'm so over all this bad luck
Hearing one more keep your head up
Is it ever gonna change
I sat down on bed, I know this is bad and I am not respecting someone's privacy but damn!
Don't look at me like that
Just like you understand
Don't try to pull me back
That's it! I got up and turned television off. I grabbed my phone and rushed out. I walked into my room and striped down. I decide to took one relaxing bath before going out.
A lot of thing was running through my mind right now and I need to relax and just don't think about anything.
***
I don't know how long I was under water, but when I was done with bath and my morning routine I walked out and quickly changed into something more comfortable.
I took denim shorts and my favourite black tank top.
I was ready to walk out when door burst open and startled me. Ana, Emili and Elena rushed in room.
"Oh good, you are awake" Ana said.
"Well good morning to you too, anyway why are you entering like someone is chasing you?"
"Ana woke me up" Emili said and rubbed her eyes.
"And this two woke me up" Elena added and yawned a little.
"And we went to wake Mia but she was showering, so we came here to wake you" Ana added.
"And once again, why?" I asked.
"Smell of food woke me up, I guess Dušica is making something delicious." she simply said and I laughed.
"And you really decide to wake them all because of that?"
"Yes! Now come on, I'm hungry" she said and pushed other two who groaned outside.
I shook my head in disbelief and followed them. When we walked into kitchen indeed we found Dušica cooking something. She was wearing just over sized shirt (once again) and nothing more. She had big headphones on, and she was singing and dancing. It was really cute though, we all giggled and sat down on counter, not bothering to tell her we are here.
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.
Oh my god, I can't believe she is listening to spice girls! We burst out laughing but she still didn't notice anything.
If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast
She hummed the rest but this makes me thinks like a looot, but I didn't have much time to think anything when she kneeled down to get something from cabinet. Her panties were visible and my mouth was wide opened when I saw black lace. Ana leaned on counter even more and stared at Dušica's ass, but I smacked back of her head.
"Ouch" she said and rubbed her head and sat down.
"Calm your hormones" I said and glared at her.
Dušica got up and flipped something in pan. Is that pancake? But this is much bigger.
At that moment Mia walked in and looked at us then at Dušica and started laughing.
"She is having concert isn't she?" she asked while holding her stomach and we nodded while laughing.
She walked towards Dušica and smacked her butt.
"Bloody-" Dušica jumped and take off headphones then saw Mia next to her who was laughing her ass off "Mia!"
"You making pancakes?" she asked and wrapped her arms around Dušica's waist.
"Duh" she replied and kissed Mia's cheek.
She turned her head in our direction and froze when she saw us.
"How long have you been here?" she asked.
"Long enough" Elena said with giggle.
"That was embarrassing" she said and buried her head in crock of Mia's neck.
Mia stroke her hair while trying to hold back her laughter.
"Don't you all dare laughing" she said and glared at us.
And just like she said completely opposite thing we all burst out laughing. Mia sat on counter with us and Dušica shook her head. She took mug that was next to her and turned toward us, leaning at cabinet behind her.
"Why are you up so early?" she asked and bring the mug to her mouth.
No one replied, we all just stared at her T-shirt like idiots. Mia laughed while Dušica looked at us with confusion in her eyes.
"Nice shirt babe" Mia finally voiced out.
"Oh" Dušica said with smirk when she looked down.
I guess you wanna know what kind of shirt she wore right? Well, I am just going to show you because...
"Dušica is fan of 69 and Adidas." Mia said with giggle "She is such a perverted child"
"Oh come on"
"What's up with adidas?" Ana asked.
"You don't know?" she asked with exaggerated shock.
We all shook our heads and she smirked.
"Well Adidas actually means All day I dream about sex"
(A/N: This is not true tho) she informed and turned around.
We all was left speechless. I didn't know for this! But it actually made sense. Mia laughed when she saw our faces and Dušica chuckled.
"Anyway, I made pancakes" she said and put plate full of pancakes in front of us "Those are not your 'American' pancakes" she added and rolled her eyes.
Indeed those weren't our normal pancakes, those were bigger and slimmer.
"Do you girls wanna coffee?" she asked before she sat down.
We shook our heads and started eating while chatting with each other and enjoying each other's company.
Somewhere in middle of our meal we heard voice coming from upstairs.
"Honey!?"
"Kitchen!" Dušica yelled.
Not long after that Zoe come in kitchen wearing fancy business suit.
"Good morning Mrs. Nikolić" we greeted politely.
"Morning girls" she said with big smile and kissed top of Dušica's and Mia's head.
"Mom, this is Elena" Dušica started introducing us.
"Elena Elena?" Zoe asked and looked back and forth between her daughter and Elena.
"Yes mom, that Elena" Dušica said and chuckled.
Zoe smiled widely and walked towards Elena who already got up.
"Oh my god! I am so happy to finally meet you in person honey" Zoe said and hugged her.
Elena was took by surprise first but she giggled and hugged her back.
"I am really glad to meet you to Mrs. Nikolić"
"Please, call me Zoe" she said when they pulled away.
"And this are Ana, Emili and Sam. You got to meet her last night though" Dušica added.
Ana smiled and offered her hand but Zoe just smiled and shook her head.
"I don't shake hands" she said and Ana frowned "I hug" Zoe added with giggle and hugged her.
She did same with Emili and me and I could see girls really like her.
"Do you wanna join us mom?" Dušica asked when she was greeting us.
"No, thank you. But you should go and get ready"
Dušica nodded and got up from counter.
"What are you wearing?" Zoe asked while looking at her shirt.
"Mom you know I am cancer, and cancers love sixty-nine. It wasn't coincidence that our zodiac sign is 69 just on other side" Dušica said with sheepishly smile on her face.
Zoe shook her head in disbelief with amused smile on her face "You know, maybe that is actually truth. Your dad is cancer as well and he just looove 69" she said.
"Geez mom, I don't wanna know" Dušica said and put her hands over her ears.
We all laughed together with her mom.
"Anyway, go get ready" she said and sat on Dušica's previous place.
"I just gonna take a shower and dress up, be right back"
"Honey, you just got our of shower when I called you hour ago" Zoe informed and rolled her eyes.
"Yeah but that was shower after two hours spent in gym, this one is going to be just to refresh." she added and ran away.
"Just hurry up, we need to be there in less than one hour" Zoe yelled after her.
"Will do" we heard her yelling back.
We spent about half an hour with Zoe, just talking about some random stuff. She was really funny person to talk to. She was like teenager when she talked with us.
We walked towards living room and sat down together.
Soon enough we heard Dušica yelling while walking down the stairs.
"I'm ready!"
We looked at stairs and I swear I almost stopped breathing. She was tying her hand watch right now and didn't bother to look at us. Anyway we all were speechless while watching her.
She was wearing grey business suit with black shirt under it. Sleeves of suit were 3/4 long. She also wore black high heels and black watch and sunglasses. She looked up at us and smiled.
(Picture in media)
Zoe got up and walked towards her "You look nice, sweetie"
"Thanks mom. You know once one woman told me that first impression is very important."
"God, you have one hell of a mother" Zoe said which made Dušica laugh.
"Don't flatter yourself mom" Dušica said and playfully pushed her towards doors.
"Feel like at your house girls" She waved at us and they both bid their goodbye's.
***
It's been three hours since Dušica and Zoe left. We were just chilling in play room, bowling. Charlie was running around our legs and we couldn't play. For now, Elena was leading and everyone was pissed. I laughed like crazy at their reactions.
At once door opened revealing smiling Dušica.
"Hey girls"
"Hi, how was it?" Emili asked.
"It was fine actually. Talk to you after I change" she said and walked away.
"It must have been good" Ana said "She seems happy"
We all agreed because indeed she does. We kept playing but soon decide it's time to take a rest so we went to next room (one with video games and wall full of drinks and snacks) and sit on lazy bags. I put Charlie in my lap and gently caressed him.
Soon Dušica appeared in laziest outfit ever. She was wearing grey sweatpants, showing her underwear and white Nike shirt.
She literally jumped on lazy bag and sighed. Charlie jumped away from my lap and run towards her and she picked him up.
"Where's my baby boy?" she asked and kissed him. "Did he listen to you girls?"
"Of course" Ana said.
"So how was the meeting?" Mia asked.
"Amazing. They all are amazing people and we get along pretty good." she said and looked at me "Your parents are amazing"
"I know right" I simply said with smile.
I really love that she likes my parents as much as they like her.
"Anyway, what do you girls want to do today?"
"Let's just chill here" Elena suggested.
We all agreed and that's exactly how we spent whole day. In that room, playing Call of duty, Fifa, GTA and others games. When we were hungry lunch was served here and soon enough it was time for us to leave.
"Do you really have to leave?" Dušica asked when Willy and others was getting our cars.
"Unfortunately" we said.
Cars were there after few minutes and she kissed us for goodbye and waved. I was really sad I was leaving this place. Believe it or not, in this place for only two days I felt happier than most of my time home. I sighed deeply and kept driving. I really can't wait to see her tomorrow at school.
Dušica's P.O.V.
They just drove away and I sat on stairs outside of house with Charlie in my lap.
Whole weekend was amazing, I felt so happy with them here especially Sam. I immediately felt empty after she left. I don't know what is so special about her. Actually I know, everything is special.
Her eyes. Her smile. Her personality. Her face. Her laugh. Her humor. Her everything. Her!
If only she knew how much I think about her. I looked down at Charlie and his eyes was piercing at me.
"What do you think about this buddy? What's wrong with me?" I asked him and he just barked and licked my hand. "You know, she is the only person I feel so good with. It's like when she is around I feel complete. She makes me feel special. When she smile at me I feel like my whole world is spinning around me. I get weak at my knees every time she touch me. She is the first person I feel so comfortable speaking about my past. I showed her my most vulnerable state and you know what she said? She said I am still perfect for her. She said that all that flaws makes me perfect. When she was laying with me last night I felt so safe and protected. I finally get good sleep after so much time. I was just like, just wrap your arms around me and never let me go. She smell like chocolate, did you know that? Her scent is like the best thing on this world and it calms me down, even if I never loved chocolate" I said and chuckled. "Last night when she said that she used to hurt herself I felt tug in my heart. I felt pain all of sudden and I really don't know what's happening." I looked up at sky and sighed "All I know is that I want her near me, always. But, unfortunately I am not gay."
I have been talking with Charlie about Sam for awhile now. It was already 10pm and I better get going to bed. Tomorrow is first day at school and I don't want to be late.
I wished good night to maids and went straight to my room. I quickly changed in oversized shirt and lay on bed with Charlie next to me.
I looked at myself at mirror on ceiling and sighed.
"I am not gay" I said and repeated this like some kind of mantra until I closed my eyes.
"I am not gay" I said once again and fall asleep.
A/N: NEW CHAPTER! HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE ME!? I hope you like it guys. It isn't long but it's cute. Vote and comment if you liked it!