See, I now had to sit there for the rest of the lesson wondering why Adam flinched when he was touched. It wasn't hard to guess but I didn't want to assume anything in case I was wrong. Guessing about something like this probably wasn't a good idea. If I told someone about it then I wanted to know all of the facts.
Of course, if I was correct, Adam wasn't going to like me telling someone.
He'd lose his father if I told anyone.
Instead of being able to approach Adam and demand what had happened, not like I'd do it anyway, I had to sit there and sweat through Psychology.
Oooh Mr Dawson wasn't going to like me for much longer if I didn't start concentrating.
I practically stared at the back of Adam's head for the whole lesson. I didn't want to make it obvious but I couldn't help it. He seemed tense, so he must have felt my gaze. I just didn't know how to respond to what could potentially be happening.
I knew he was having trouble at home but his dad couldn't be that bad, could he? Was this the whole reason why he didn't want to go home early?
I could vaguely hear Mr Dawson chatting casually with the class and making them laugh with his jokes but it was background noise to me. I was too focused on Adam to process what was going on and I was sure that Mr Dawson noticed my lack of response to his words.
I couldn't wait to get out of there and pull Adam to one side.
Though, I did feel guilty. Psychology was a good subject for me and yet I was spending my time thinking about a boy and whether he was getting abused by his father. If I kept this up, I was going to fall behind. I was practically being told off by the teacher in my head the longer I sat staring at Adam's hunched form.
His elbows had never left his sides since he'd been nudged and I knew he was trying to hide his reaction from people. He didn't want people to be suspicious of any injury he could have. Unfortunately for him, I picked up on things like that.
If he didn't tell me what was going on soon, I was going to place my hands on him, and I really didn't want to invade his privacy like that.
Class ended and, yet again, I ended up being the last in the class. Mr Dawson sat like he had been last week, a small twinkle in the corner of his eye. As I went towards the door, he sat up straighter and I hesitated near his desk, knowing that he'd want to talk to me again.
"Hi Megan."
"Hi Mr Dawson." I shuffled towards the seat nearest to his desk and sat down, fiddling with my gloves. I knew what was coming. He really didn't have to open his mouth. The teacher in my brain had already told me off continuously throughout the lesson. I didn't need to be told off any further. In fact, what I really needed to do to gain my concentration again was to talk to Adam about his sore ribs.
"Megan, you were daydreaming again."
"I know, sir. I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to. I have a lot on my mind."
This was definitely the wrong thing to say. Mr Dawson raised his eyebrows and leaned back in his chair, putting his feet gently against his desk, crossed at the ankles. "Megan, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."
I hesitated. "Sir, I really can't explain. I don't know the full details so I don't want to share wrong information. I'm just concerned for a friend of mine." I winced at the word 'friend,' wondering if I could even call him that.
Mr Dawson nodded in understanding. "Of course. Is it a serious concern?"
I nodded vigorously. "I'm very worried."
"Well, Megan. I know you'll do the right thing. I would suggest talking to this friend of yours to hear their side. Maybe they can help themselves before any one else gets involved." He sat up again and leaned over the desk closer to where I was sitting. I awkwardly shifted in the plastic chair under his gaze. "All you can do is be there for them. Find out the truth. You're a clever girl, Megan. You'll know the right time."
I clasped my bottom lip between my teeth and looked up at him through my lashes. I knew he was right. I knew I had to wait and talk to Adam first. The best thing was to get enough information about the situation before acting on it.
I saw Mr Dawson sigh in his seat and then stand up, moving around the other side of the desk so that he could lean over me. I sucked in a breath, suddenly aware at how close he was, though he never batted an eyelid at it.
"Promise me that you'll come to me if anything is wrong. If you're struggling with work, family, friends or anything you can think of, I'll be there to listen to you, okay?" He said quietly, his hands leaning against his desk.
Unable to speak, I nodded quickly, speech hitched in my throat.
He nodded and then twisted to face his desk, allowing me to breathe. I got up from the chair I'd been sat on and pulled my bag over my shoulder. I didn't know what had just happened but I wasn't going to dwell on it for too long.
Like he'd said, there was no point reading into something which you didn't know the whole facts for.
As I put my hand out for the door he called me again and I hesitated.
"Megan? Outside of class, call me Steve. I'm no longer your teacher, but your friend, okay?" He smiled.
I licked my lips, turned to him and smiled back, nodding slightly.
Before he could hold me back much more, I quickly moved out of the room and breathed out deeply.
What even was that?
Was that allowed?
I pressed my back gently against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to process whether that had all been in my head. Surely that wasn't professional in a teacher-student relationship. Had I just imagined his over friendliness, his over concern? Or was I just being ridiculous because I'd seen so many disturbing images before?
I was seriously messed up.
Feeling a sudden warmth, I opened my eyes and practically headbutted the wall behind me in the effort to move backwards. Kai's eyes stared into mine, practically nose to nose with me, grinning like a madman. He started laughing and, in the end, couldn't hold it together, stepping backwards to fully bend over and hold his stomach.
I crossed my arms and pretended to be angry at him laughing at me, but his laughs were so infectious that I couldn't suppress a smile. He was just so funny. His whole face lit up when he laughed and his teeth gleamed under the corridor light.
As he got a hold on himself, he pulled my bag off my shoulder and put it on his own, grinning like a crazy man. "I thought you'd got yourself lost under a desk with the amount of time it took you to leave that room. I thought you'd gone past me at first. I'm so glad you hadn't though. That was too funny." He chuckled darkly and I blew a raspberry at him in response.
"I got kept behind."
At this point, Mr Dawson - Steve - emerged from the classroom door with papers stacked in his hands. He glanced at me and smiled, giving me a slight nod. I smiled back weakly then watched as he walked away without a second glance at us.
Kai didn't seem to notice anything strange about the communication and, instead, his eyes sparkled. "Megan! I never knew you were a bad girl." He winked.
Oh no...
I blushed scarlet. "I'm not!"
"Aw, is little Megan blushing?" He teased and flicked the string hanging from my hoodie next to my neck.
"Shut up." I murmured and he laughed harder.
"Aw, I'm sorry, Meggy. You're just too easy to tease." He slung his arm around my shoulder but this time I let him as he led us towards the door leading to the outside part of the college, leading into the grassy area around the back.
I never came out here for obvious reasons. When it was sunny, everyone seemed to want to come outside to make the most of the sun. When it wasn't sunny, the smokers would come out and half of the field would stink of smoke.
I hated smokers.
Wherever people went, I usually went in the opposite direction. Sitting down with a crowd of people wasn't something I would have considered unless I'd suddenly turned into a normal human being and got friends. Well, Kai was kind of my friend, so I was almost half way there. For some reason, I knew I'd be okay with Kai around.
We sat down near the wall, away from prying eyes, much to my relief, and Kai leaned back on the wall. He'd dropped our bags and then lay his hoodie on the floor so that I could sit on it instead of the grass. Though he was very gentlemanly, I did feel bad that I accepted it instead of refusing and taking my own hoodie off.
I wasn't up to that stage just yet.
He didn't seem to care though. He lay back and soaked up the sun, closing his eyes gently. I stared at him, taking in his face and how the sun caught his features, but I tried not to get too worked up about it.
It was the first time that I'd had lunch with someone and instead of eating we were just taking in the sun.
Typical.
I stretched my legs out, wishing that I was wearing my shorts, which were pushed at the very back of my draw at home. I never wore them unless I was on my own or in the garden on my own. Even then, I was careful. If I touched something and had a vision, it could be dangerous exposing skin, especially when I couldn't control myself when it was happening. If there was ever something sharp underneath me when I fell, I could easily injure myself.
I felt eyes on me and looked to the side to see Kai sneaking a glance at me, smiling. I blinked a few times then smiled back at him as he sat up, studying me more carefully. I felt so on the spot but I sort of liked it. His gaze was pretty, especially in the sun's rays. I tried not to move when he folded his legs and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, the smile never leaving his face.
"Kai?" I gulped, trying to control myself. My hormones certainly weren't helping me today.
"Yeah?"
"Aren't you curious?" I pulled my hand from my lap and held it between us, allowing his eyes to travel to my gloves fingers.
He immediately reached up and interlaced his fingers with mine, pulling them back down so that they lay beside us. If we'd had our skin touching, I was sure that I'd feel goosebumps. "Of course I'm curious but it's not at the front of my mind." He smiled, making me relax slightly.
He wasn't going to reject me. He'd seen my hands before. He knew it wasn't a physical problem.
He tilted his head to the side and I realised he was watching my expression. "You're so pretty when you contemplate things."
I grinned and looked down at our hands. "That's the weirdest nicest thing anyone's said to me."
He moved our hands so that they were between us and then looked up at me, a question in his gaze. I didn't understand what he was asking until I felt his fingers playing with my gloves.
Oh.
He wanted me to take them off.
I didn't really want to share private information with the rest of the student body so I gave him a look.
He definitely understood because he twisted us so that I was against the wall and he was shadowing our hands, hiding them from view. When I watched him, all I saw was curiosity, not disgust, which I was so glad about. He'd seen my hands before but it had been in the rush of the moment. He hadn't studied them like he was going to now.
"Wait." I said quietly and he froze immediately. I smiled and rubbed his fingers a little and they relaxed againt my glove. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Shoot."
I looked down, not wanting to see his face when I asked a stupid question, which was only important for my peace of mind. "Why don't you have any scars on your hand?"
He didn't even hesitate before he replied, "I was lucky as a child. I never got cut or damaged and I healed really well. I have scars across my chest though. Why?"
I shrugged casually. "No reason. Curiosity." I gave him a grateful smile and he returned it.
I slowly released my hand from his and then held it out. He looked at me as he slowly pulled my glove off, then looked down at my pale slender fingers. There was nothing wrong with them. I couldn't help but study them with him as he turned my hand over, his warm making my fingers tingle. I smiled as he poked each fingernail and traced each line.
"Everything is there." I giggled and he grinned at me, looking through his eyelashes, though never letting go of my hand.
"Your skin is so soft. I don't understand." He moved his gaze between my eyes and then looked down again, tracing patterns up to my wrist and down again. "Is your skin too sensitive to touch things?"
I shook my head, suddenly nervous. Could I tell another person what was wrong with me? What would he say about it? Adam had been so understanding but Kai was different to Adam. Adam was quiet but popular. Kai was loud but lonely. I didn't know whether it was good to trust two people.
At least if something got out, I knew that it was Adam saying stuff. If I told two people then it was harder to pinpoint the culprit, not like anyone would believe them.
That was the other problem. Adam never questioned it, but surely Kai would think I was nuts. After everything, hanging out with me, taking me to lunch, making me feel normal again...I didn't want to lose that.
His eyes pleaded.
He wanted to understand me.
His eyes said so many words, more than he could express.
I pulled my hand from his and covered the skin over again, ignoring Kai's disappointment, as it was quickly replaced by his usual cocky smirk. I wasn't ready to tell him my secret. That was going to stay between me and Adam for now.
Speaking of which, I spotted him wandering on the other side of the field. He was in a group of his friends but he seemed somewhat distracted. I wanted to see what was wrong with him and find out once and for all but that would have been rude. Kai had invited me to lunch so I couldn't just leave him.
I pulled out my food and began chewing.
Realising that I wasn't going to respond to him, Kai shrugged and leaned back against the wall again, pulling out a bottle of water and swigging it down as if he was trying to survive the desert.
I knew he was a good guy but I didn't trust him. I mostly didn't trust myself. Adam had kept it secret, which I was grateful for, but I wasn't going to risk it again.
Things were so much easier when I was on my own.
I decided that I was going to start being more particular about what I told people. Adam was okay. I felt that I trusted him, so long as he trusted me, but Kai had a dangerous aura. The power he held inside practically glowed from within. I knew that if he said that monkeys were blue I probably would have believed him, just like half of the population.
Kai screamed a leader.
Adam didn't.
Yet, why had they swapped roles in the school foodchain?
The situation worried me but, like everything, I didn't want to think too much into it. Thinking too much into things always led to devastation, no matter what it involved.
"Do you need a ride home tonight?" Kai asked, squinting in my direction.
I pulled my hood down from my face and my hair immediately flew through the breeze, darting across my face and along my shoulders. I quickly bit into my apple and felt my eyes widen as the juice filled my mouth. "No." I mumbled, trying to swallow the piece of apple, "Adam usually drives me home."
"Who is this Adam guy?" He asked and, for the first time, I saw a nasty glint flicker behind his pupils.
It startled me but I tried not to let it show. "He helped me last week. It was raining, I was soaked, so he offered to give me a ride. Since then, it's become a habit."
"Does he take you here as well?"
I shook my head. "He only picked me up this morning because he saw me walking. Usually I'm not that early to leave the house."
"Does he like you?"
I frowned, contemplating the thought. It was highly unlikely. Adam only ever acted friendly around me. He'd never once made a move. Even when we'd touched skin, I'd either initiated it or allowed him to touch me. He'd only ever been kind.
I was just worried about him and his family life. He had a sore past, and maybe even a sore present, and I wanted to help.
"I don't think so. Why?"
"He's watching us."
My head snapped up at this and my eyes automatically connected with Adam's from across the field. He looked apprehensive but I wasn't sure why. His gaze looked troubled and I wanted to go to him to see if he was okay.
"He's my friend. We help each other." I murmured quietly to Kai as I saw Adam turn his head slightly, though his gaze was still fixed on me.
"He seems troubled." Kai said casually and I heard him shuffling around next to me. My eyes finally blinked shut and I watched as Kai began packing our stuff up. I felt bad that he was feeling uncomfortable due to Adam but I didn't know what I could do about it. He seemed to be doing something without even processing.
After a few minutes, he stood and held down his hand, which I took. He pulled me up then shook his hoodie out before shuffling it back over his head. He didn't seem as disappointed as I expected, but I was probably thinking too much into his actions.
He seemed to be too practiced for how he acted around me.
Slinging our bags over his shoulder, he gave me a cheeky smirk before nudging me with his elbow. "Come on, quiet one. We should get to class."
I nodded and thanked him with my eyes for getting me out of the crowds safety but he just gave me a sympathetic smile.
What had I gotten myself into?