I'd love to keep this "update every five days" thing going but unfortunately, the fifth day from today is Wednesday, which is smack in the middle of my school camping trip that's required and graded. I want to get an update in there just before I leave Tuesday night, but I sincerely apologize if that doesn't happen.
I hope I can keep up on this "regular update" thing, too. I enjoy having it on a schedule; keeps me in check so I don't wait a month between one update and the next.
I was so sore. After a brutal fighting match with Ansel, and then Ilias, I was bruised and bloody and ready to collapse. But Rhys and the others looked proud. I was not nearly as proud. I'd trained with Cassian for months, and I could barely beat two humans.
At my scowl, Cassian said, "You're just out of practice, Feyre. You'll be back in no time." And then he'd taken his turn in the ring, Rowan stepping up to fight him. Not as bloody as Amren's fight, but twice as brutal. Rowan didn't use much magic against him, and I wondered why. The presence he had was too powerful for him to not possess a lot of magic.
Neither won that fight, but they didn't have to be pulled apart like Amren and Manon, either. They came out beaten, bruised, bloody, and with a higher respect for each other, if Rowan's short nod and Cassian's wolfish grin told me anything. They would be powerful allies, horrible enough to drive the world to its knees, if they wished.
I'd noticed something in him was slowly changing. He often looked toward the mountains during training when he should've been observing the fight. A steely determination would enter those green eyes, and his jaw would set. Sometimes, I could've sworn a phantom wind would pass by, blowing into nobody but him, and he'd turn his head just slightly, as if he could hear it whispering.
But then he'd straighten, the look gone, replaced by that silent, emotionless expression that he'd seemed to know like the back of his hand, and he'd turn his back on those mountains and watch the rest of the fight unflinchingly.
What had he left in those mountains? What was changing in him? Often, it seemed as if it caused him pain to be here, in Terrasen. He was a creature in a skin that, despite the strength and speed it granted, was too restricting. An animal pacing in a gilded cage.
Many of the Fae I'd seen around the castle seemed to be. The blonde-- not Aedion, but the quiet one-- was similar. It wasn't as obvious, but it was there. The same pacing, but for other reasons. I often caught him staring at Aedion instead of watching the fight, and if they didn't look too similar to not be anything but family, I might've thought he was pining.
But they weren't the only Fae in this place, I knew, and I'd seen hints of other things as well-- creatures like Manon, that ice-King, and a male with onyx eyes and hair to match, who seemed the wildest of them all.
Azriel had explained what they were when he noticed me staring at Aedion in puzzlement a few days before. "Half-human, half-Faerie," he'd told me. "Or, humans with enough Fae blood in their line to do some damage. That King, too, but his bloodline is more human than not."
I wondered just how powerful they could get. Aedion already had presence, and his loss against Lucien could easily be blamed on lack of experience.
When we were all stuck in the room again later that day, I noticed Nesta was looking oddly content after shadowing Lysandra and a younger, scarred girl named Evangeline while we trained. I wondered if maybe she would take up the job I'd left behind when I became High Lady.
Elain had gone with them, but seemed distracted instead of content. Every once in a while, as she stared off into space, her eyebrows would furrow, and she'd mutter something so quietly that I had no hope of hearing what she said, and then her expression would smooth out again.
Whatever she was working through was not meant for anyone's ears, it would seem. And I didn't miss Lucien tracking everything she did, watching her like this was the last time he'd ever see her. If she noticed, she said nothing.
Azriel suddenly muttered something to Rhys, and they both retreated into a corner to talk. I knew Rhys had stuck him to finding out whatever he could regarding Rowan and the others, whether it be from listening to servants or his allies, and wondered what he had discovered.
Tamlin's regular, bad-tempered mood hadn't lifted, but it had mellowed out over the course of the week to the point where he was willing to work with us if it meant getting out of here. He was actually starting to make some sort of progress toward finding out who Rowan was, specifically. If we wanted to know anything about the situation, it was good to find out who their leader was. "Too prideful to be thrown up against ruffians" hadn't seemed like a far stretch for an excuse as to why the High Lord of Spring hadn't shown up for training, and they'd gobbled it up.
He was a reluctant ally at best, but this new union we'd formed hadn't stopped him from hating us all. He'd even distanced himself from Lucien, who I'd found staring at Elain more often than not these days. I was pretty sure the only reason he didn't talk to her was because of Nesta.
Said female was going to rip his throat out the moment she noticed him staring.
I watched Rhys and Azriel from the corner of my eye while I worked on using my magic. Not a lot, but enough to give me some strain. Lucien was right; the magic was harder to use, here. It was as if it was sentient, and understood we were strangers. But while Lucien, Tamlin, Rhys, Azriel, and everyone else had trouble using magic at all, I had less difficulty.
Soon, with practice, I hoped I wouldn't have difficulty at all. Most magics I hadn't touched until now. I didn't know how the Winter Court's ice would be super helpful yet, but maybe I'd find a fire to put out or something. For now, it was what I'd practice with.
"Looks like you're beginning to get the hang of that," a voice said quietly, and I snapped my head up to see Lucien, gaze unreadable as he sat a few feet away from me. He had moved without my notice, as my attention had been so fixed on the magic and Azriel's report to Rhys.
I glanced back down at the glittering, crystalline diamond of ice I'd made after running out of ideas. "I guess." I spread my fingers and watched it fall through the space, shattering near-silently on the floor into a thousand glimmering fragments. "I have a lot to learn, though."
He studied me, that metal eye whrring quietly. "I think you underestimate yourself," he replied finally, and I started. "Most of us can barely use a lick of magic-- and here you are, making spheres and daggers and whatever else you can think of. For some reason, the magic around us doesn't suppress yours as much." He shrugged. "Right now, Feyre, despite what side you're on..." His voice went a bit sour as he glanced at my Court, but he continued. "You make a powerful ally."
"If you're doing this to get Elain's favor," I began sharply, and he narrowed his eyes at me.
"If I wanted to get Elain's favor, I'd talk to her directly. I'm saying this because..." he lowered his voice a little, making sure I was the only one who could hear. "Because despite what everyone says about Rhysand and the Night Court, you found something worthwhile in it. Because despite what everyone says, I can see you love Rhysand, and your Court."
He shook his head. "And maybe you're crazy, Feyre, but maybe you aren't. Maybe there truly is something worthwhile enough to stay." He glanced at Elain, but said nothing more. Instead, he got up again and nodded at me, some of that iciness in his eyes thawed out, and left me to work on my magic in peace.
I stared after him for a second, blinking, and then looked back at Rhys. If he'd noticed Lucien's chat with me, he gave no sign. Instead, he said, loudly enough for us to hear, "Azriel brings news."
We all straightened, even Elain, eyes clearing as she focused on the world around her again. Once he was sure he had everyone's attention, he announced, "First of all, this female that they're looking for is related to three of the males keeping us here. The female is related to Aedion, Galan, and Rowan. Azriel overheard Manon and Rowan talking about it earlier. Which brings me to my next point: they mean to bring us on some sort of search party to find and rescue her."
"Do we have a name?" Mor asked, frowning.
Azriel shook his head as Rhys answered, "Not yet."
"I don't care about names," Tamlin argued. "I want to know exactly what this female can do. They said she was a well-guarded prisoner. There has to be a reason for that."
"I hate to admit it," Cassian said, "But he has a valid point." He spoke the words as if they were poison on his tongue.
"And what about the Queen?" Added Elain timidly. "If there was someone this important missing, why hasn't she returned instead of leaving the warriors to find her instead?"
Nesta snorted. "Probably a coward."
"Work on it," Rhys told Azriel with a nod. "We need to know as much as we can before they get us out of here. I'm sure we'd all like to know what we're walking into." The Shadowsinger nodded, and as if it was some sort of signal, everyone returned to their own quiet conversations.
I was about to start with the ice again, but Rhys sat down beside me. "You could've come and listened to Azriel's report, you know," he murmured. "You aren't emissary anymore." I looked into his eyes, which had become so serious lately in the light of the new world we had gotten trapped in.
"I didn't think about it," I told him honestly. "I was so busy practicing."
He nodded. "Next time," he said, taking my hand in his. "High Lady isn't just a fancy title. It means you're my equal. And you deserve to know things the second I do-- especially now, when we're in such an unfamiliar setting." He squeezed my hand and I squeezed back, smiling at him.
Equals. We were equals, and always would be. I'd known that for a while, since I'd learned we were mates. Perhaps even before then. I'd just have to get used to the rest of the world knowing that, too. "Next time," I agreed.