"All she wanted was effort, she was simply after the type of treatment she deserved. She gave her time, patience and energy to a relationship that felt more like a situational hell. She was trying to be good enough for someone who was comfortable with mishandling her heart."
- r. h. sin
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Anisha gave Mira a confused look as Mira patted the empty seat on the bleachers. The empty seat right between Mira and her father.
Anisha motioned for Mira to scoot over, to scoot closer to her father so Anisha would sit next to her daughter.
Because the last thing Anisha wanted to do was talk to Andrew. She had tried long enough for him. She had held on for too long.
She honestly didn't want anything from him. Except one promise.
One small promise that he would take care of her kids. And always tell them that their mother loved them, a lot.
That was the only thing she wanted from him.
But Mira gave her mother an innocent smile and shook her head. "You have to sit next to Daddy. My Cinderella doll is sitting next to me."
"But I want to sit next to you." Anisha smiled at her daughter and raised an eyebrow as Mira continued to give her mother an innocent smile, showing off the front tooth that had fallen out earlier that morning. Her smile was anything but innocent.
"But Daddy wants you to sit next to him. And Cinderella likes to sit next to only me." Mira was stubborn. The little girl would only do what she wanted.
Anisha shook her head and sat down in the middle, sitting a little closer to Mira than her husband. She could feel him staring at her but she hadn't even acknowledged him.
Because she didn't care anymore. She didn't want to care anymore.
Ryan and Mira were all that mattered. And she was going to try, she was going to try and be happy.
Sebastian hadn't let her leave until she had promised to start taking the pills regularly. He had scheduled for her to have another blood transfusion next week.
Sebastian acted as though her condition was improving.
But she knew it was complete bullshit.
Because her condition was worsening.
He kept giving her false hope, as if she really could get better. But she couldn't. And she knew he knew that too.
But at least he cared.
Unlike her husband. Unlike her husband who had no idea what was wrong with her.
"Mommy, you need to scoot closer to Daddy. There isn't enough space for my doll."
Anisha gave Mira a look, clearly aware of her daughter's clever tactics. Smirking, she pretended to look around and then turned back to her daughter.
"Oh my, isn't that Aaron?"
Mira's eyes widened as she looked around, looking for the boy that already made her wonder why her stomach felt funny whenever he smiled.
"I was just kidding. He's not here." Anisha smiled softly as she watched a soft blush color her daughter's cheeks. And Anisha found herself wondering if Aaron Lachinski would be the first person to break her daughter's heart.
It was a painful thought and she didn't want to think about it. But life had given her a fair share of heartbreak. But even when she had been growing up, her mother had been around. Her parents hadn't approved of her dating as often as she did. It was expected from her traditional and strict parents. The only guy she had ever brought home was the one sitting next to her right now.
But even when she had dated people before Andrew, her mother had always made her a cup of warm tea and talked about everything and nothing, simply aware of the fact that her daughter was upset about something.
And Anisha wouldn't get to do that for Mira. And she was afraid to ask who would fix Mira's broken heart. Because even if her own mother hadn't told her that she would be okay, that there the one she had just broken up with simply wasn't the right one, it was the support and comfort that her mother provided that always made Anisha feel warm and loved. It was her mother's love and encouragement that gave Anisha hope that her broken heart would heal.
And it was when Mira would need her mother the most that Anisha wouldn't be around anymore.
And that's what was tearing Anisha apart the most.
Mira was eight. Eight years old was nothing, it was absolutely nothing compared to the rest of her life. The rest of her life would be filled with happy memories, sad memories. And Anisha would only be a small part of her daughter's life.
"Mira, you know if I remember, your exact words were 'I hate him.' And something along the line of how stupid he is."
"That's because he is." Mira looked around once again. Soccer was boring to watch but maybe if Aaron was here, she would have more fun. He always made her laugh. And even if she didn't want to admit it, she did have tiny little crush on him.
But he was a jerk. And there was no way she could like him. She didn't like jerks.
She smiled back up at her mother. "Scoot over Mommy!"
Anisha playfully shook her head; Mira wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted. She slowly inched closer to her husband but left more than enough space between them.
She was simply tired, of all of it.
She looked out to the field, trying to find her son. The game had long started and she had already been ten minutes late.
And she smiled as she watched Ryan run up and down the soccer field.
She was watching him play soccer for the last time.
And she closed her eyes as a stray tear slid down her left cheek.
She had been happy once.
And a gentle breeze slowly swept by. The cool summer breeze was refreshing. It was a breath of fresh air in her dull world.
She could remember all of it. Remember the days she had been happy. Because she had been happy some time ago.
For the first time, she felt content.
The bitterness just wasn't as sour right now.
Because everything around her seemed nice. It seemed nice.
The warm sun, the fresh breeze, the green grass, her son playing soccer, her daughter smiling at her, and her husband sitting next to her.
Everything felt nice. It felt right. And she knew things were far from fine.
But even still, everything felt good. Because it seemed like a good ending.
She felt happy.
She felt content.
For the first time, she didn't hate Andrew for everything he had done to her. For the first time, she didn't hate Amanda for manipulating her. For the first time, she didn't hate Sebastian for being the first person to break her heart.
This was her life.
Everything that she had smiled for, cried for, tried for, it was all a part of her story.
It was all a part of a story that was ending soon.
The only thing left was resolve. And she had accepted her fate.
She could still feel him staring at her. But she was avoiding his gaze.
Because she was trying to make as much of Ryan's soccer game as she could.
It was the last time Ryan would have his mother attend one of his games.
Anisha looked again at Ryan as he kicked the ball to another player. She turned and faced her daughter, watching as Mira continued brushing her doll's hair and mumbling something every now and then about how Ryan sucked at soccer.
Anisha felt content.
Everything would be okay. It would all be okay.
They would be fine without her. Life would continue on without her.
And she finally turned and faced her husband. Her sad eyes stared back into his tired ones.
But she didn't say anything.
She had a lot to tell him, a lot of things he needed to know. But not yet.
Not yet.
Just for a few more days, she wanted to pretend. She wanted to pretend that everything was fine. She wanted to pretend that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her.
She just wanted to pretend.
For a few more days.
He gave her a tight smile, refusing to look away and gently placed his hand on top of hers.
He was sorry.
He was so very sorry.
He wanted to tell her that he would change. That this time, things would be different. That he was willing to try.
Try harder than he ever had before.
He had tried before. Multiple times, he had convinced her that they should try to fix their marriage or at least seek some kind of help.
And they had tried.
They had. They had tried. But it was his entire fault. He hadn't tried hard enough.
But he wanted her to know that even though neither of them knew where their marriage even stood today, that neither of them even knew if it was worth holding onto, that he would still fight to save what was left.
He would do everything to save whatever was left.
He couldn't bear the guilt or the pain anymore. Because every mistake he had ever made and every bit of regret he held in his heart, it was all going to destroy him. It was all already destroying him.
His marriage was near its end.
But he would do anything, anything to heal her broken heart, the heart he was responsible for breaking.
It had been wrong. It had been wrong of him to take his anger on her, to blame her for what she couldn't control. He knew it was wrong and now he was paying the consequences.
His past had ruined him. He had let his past ruin him.
He was sick of being miserable.
He wanted to be happy, once again.
He wanted to feel what it was like to fall in love with her again. He wanted to show her he still did. And he just wanted her to love him back.
And he smiled at her. A soft smile, filled with love and care.
But she was distant. Anisha was distant. And he didn't know why. She was quite distant lately.
And she always brushed it off as nothing whenever he asked her. Every time he talked to her, she always avoided his questions or quickly changed the subject.
He gently squeezed her hand as she looked at his hand on top of hers and then looked back up at him.
He frowned as he took note of the purple bruise on her wrist. It was similar to another purplish-red bruise she had just above her ankle.
He had noticed.
He gently ran his finger over the small bruise.
Anisha was unfazed. She didn't smile back at him. Nor did she flinch when he touched the small bruise on her wrist.
She was dull.
It was if everything had finally caught up to her. As if her marriage and both of their mistakes had finally taken their toll on her.
And they had. Everything had finally caught up to her.
Resolve was all she felt.
The truth was the truth and nothing could change that.
But she bit her lip, smiling as he drew small circles on her hand.
He had loved her, once, a long time ago.
She knew that.
Life had taken away a lot from her. But maybe that's just how life worked.
She had made her own mistakes. She too had hurt many people. And she had easily given up.
She had easily given in.
She had suffered.
Just like he had.
And Anisha could see everything from his eyes, everything that he had suffered. And she was slowly aware of how close he was to her, she was slowly aware that his face was barely a few inches from hers.
He looked tired.
His dark blue eyes no longer held the spark she had fell in love with. They looked tired, as if all the pain and loss had drained every bit of hope from his life.
He looked old.
The light stubble scattered across his jaw made him look older. It made him look older and tired.
And if she looked very closely, she could see specks of gray hair.
And she wondered what he saw when he looked at her.
She wasn't beautiful. She didn't look beautiful.
And she certainly didn't feel beautiful.
Her skin was pale, the olive skin no longer highlighted with a youthful glow. Her hair was thin, the once long black hair now barely reached a little past her shoulder.
It had been a pathetic act for his attention. She had thought she could make herself beautiful. And she had certainly felt beautiful.
But now her thin hair told the story of the many medications she had tried, of the number of pills that had provided her hope that she would get better. But she hadn't.
And most of all, she wondered what he saw when he looked into her eyes.
Did he see that the hope and love that had once been prevalent was no longer there? Could he finally see that she had suffered enough? Could he finally see that all the pain, all the heartbreak and all the anguish had finally taken its toll on her?
And could he see that she was finally fading away?
That there was nothing left anymore.
That she was finally giving up.
But still, she smiled at him.
He had shown her what it had been like to be in love. To be happy and in love. Even if it was years ago.
There was nothing left to save anymore.
And without another thought she leaned closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, his hand still holding onto hers.
Life, mistakes, people had torn them apart. But once, just once, she let him hold her.
For one last time, she let herself know what it felt like to be in his embrace. And it what felt like to have him hold her with so much care and look at her with so much love.
But he couldn't fight for her.
He wouldn't fight for her.
He couldn't fight for her.
He just couldn't. Because she couldn't be saved.
But she couldn't help but hope that maybe he would.
And she found herself hoping that just once, just once in her last few days he would fight for her.
That just once he'd show her he still cared. That just once he's act like he did care.
In all truth, all she really wanted was one last word of love, one last act of care, just one last bit of hope. In all truth, all she really wanted was anything that would show her that despite everything that had torn them apart in the last fourteen years, she still meant something to him, that she had always meant something to him.
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I start school on Monday. And I have Ochem and Bio this semester so idk how often I'll be able to update.
Next Chapter: 374 votes
Kinda random but I have quick question: Which name sounds better?
Aaron Lachinski or maybe Aaron Kalinski
Aaron Schneider
Aaron Knox
lol that's it. IDK so um yea