the whole spiral started with a viral video.
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@ladbible: Girl falls off old pier into the sea! You'll never guess what happens next....
— with @deathlies
(11th of March, 2017)
★
"Right, so today's This Week On The Internet begins with this absolute crease." Will Lenney began. "I know it's The Lad Bible so yous will have to forgive me but this video is nuts."
Will presses play on the video on his screen, already starting to chuckle at what he knew was about to happen.
The video was Lau's, one she'd edited and sent in to The Lad Bible for over two hundred pounds. The video was of her flatmate Mollie being clumsy when they were down south to visit someone, and were both drunk. Lau edited it together to get the best parts.
Will narrates through it. "Right, so we have this girl here on this pretty old pier, like look yous can see the boards are rotting. Like, that's already not a good idea?
"Anyways this girl is shouting to her mate on the camera here that she can jump onto some rocks nearby." He looks into the camera.
"Like, I'm sorry, but, when would you ever think that was a good idea? You lot, if you haven't seen the video yet, can clearly guess what's gonna happen," he says as he presses play, "oh, and she's in the water. What a surprise."
He laughs a bit. "This one really isn't that smart, like. And the girl behind the camera is just creasing instead of helping." Will's accent was prominent as he spoke.
"But that's not the best part, right." Will promises, trying to hold back his laughter. The mirth is clear in his voice. "So a usual video would end there, but the person behind the camera has clearly decided it would be a good idea to drag the poor girl... to a pub."
He pauses for dramatic effect, intending to zoom in on the screen. "But that's clearly not a good idea, and I don't know how she didn't see that. The next clip is them trying to find dry clothes in their car for the girl who took a surprise swim, and they found... a dog towel."
He looks to the camera and presses his lips together to stop his smile. It doesn't work and he hangs his head in laughter.
"So the mate has just thought it would be a good idea to go to a pub in a furry coat, right, and a dog towel. Like where would you ever think that would be a suitable plan? Just don't go out? And, well, as you can probably tell, it wasn't a good idea."
Will shows the part where the dirty blue dog towel, clipped in place at the girl's side, slides around until the gap reached her rear. It would have exposed her bum to everyone had the censored sign not been put there by the girl who had edited the video.
Lau, behind the camera, laughed so much she dropped it, and yet they still carried on walking to the pub. Lau had video evidence of Mollie pulling the towel around to make her somewhat decent again.
"I wanna see their dog, man. He'd probably be smarter than these two girls, like." Will laughed as he paused the video.
"How many times do yous reckon I've said 'that's not a good idea' already? Too much," he laughed again. "But it makes for a good crease."
He wipes an eye.
"Reminds me of a hospital gown, that does." He planned to play the clip of the slide in slow motion for that part, and bring up an image as a side by side comparison.
"My question is, though, do these girls not have any brain cells between the two of them? They're clearly a bit thick, if you ask me. I mean, who thinks it's a good idea to jump on to some rocks to begin with? And then the mate drags her out in a dog towel! Honestly, man. It's mad." Will finished that story and moved on to the next, laughing to himself as he did so.
The video, of course, had gone viral.
★
@molliee: I WAS DRUNK OK WE BOTH WERE
(14th of March, 2017)
@molliee: AND FOR EVERYONE SAYING LAU IS A BAD FRIEND FOR POSTING IT FUCK OFF NO SHE ASKED ME BEFORE SHE SENT IT IN
(14th of March, 2017)
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@deathlies: When some twat from Newcastle doesn't understand what alcohol is...
(14th of March, 2017)
replies to this tweet...
@deathlies: she could have drowned you fuck
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@deathlies: but she rocked the dog towel so idk why you're complaining..
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@molliee: lau you're the best ok
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@nins: @molliee I STILL CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS OMGG
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@calfreezy: ☕️☕️☕️ go on lau! btw the guy you're shading is @willne so maybe tag him next time so he can see it
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@willne: this is a bit rude like
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twitter: @willne has followed you!
[follow?]
[followed ✔️]
twitter: new message from @willne (14th of March, 2017)
when you said your friend could have drowned did you not realise you were standing there recording the whole thing?
and you could have saved her?
When you said my tweets were rude did you not realise how insulting your video was to the both of us?
touché.
my friend calfreezy says he knows you
I mean, he clearly does, I've seen him reply to your tweets before
And?
How long have you known Cal for?
a few months. why?
I've known him a few years.
didn't realise this was a competition.
(:
Does the fact that you have a mutual with someone you've called thick not make you realise that the people you make fun of are real people and have real feelings?
I saw you're a bit of a Simon fanboy as well - Simon and Mollie are pretty much best friends it's surprising you haven't seen them in each other's mentions before.
Next time, don't be such a twat and get the full story before you make a fucking video. Thanks 😊
the full story that you were drunk?? s
I'm sorry then???
look there has probably been a massive misunderstanding and I am sorry that I called you and your friend stupid
I didn't really think and I never meant to offend you both
and now I think about it, I remember cal and the other guys mentioning you two before and you're right it is a lot more mad when it's someone in real life
It's okay. Just don't do it again.
friends?
I guess lmao
★
Will sighs as he looks at the phone screen, feeling a flush of relief that Lau had accepted his apology. He put his phone down, swallowed, and stood up.
Guilt began to churn in his stomach.
Did she really know the Cal's and Harry and everyone else? And he just had no clue that the girls in the video were them?
Will decided he had to know if she knew them as well as she claimed to, and rushed to Cal's flat.
As soon as he walked in, Freezy stepped out the kitchen and clapped Will on the shoulder. "You really got roasted by Lau there." He laughed, knowing full well what he'd done by tagging Will in the replies.
Will rolled his eyes at Cal, "you haven't seen the DM's, mate."
Cal's laugh rang through the apartment; despite it all, it made Will chuckle too. Harry came out of his room, with messed up hair, mumbling something about wanting cereal. Cal and Will ignored him.
"Oh I bet Lau has been an utter savage. She always is." Freezy said confidently, and Will nodded.
The sentence brought him back to what he'd come to ask Cal about.
"Do you know Lau well then, like?"
"Mate, she was literally round here like three days ago!" Cal gestured to his apartment, and Will felt a sinking sensation. So everything she'd said was true. "And," Cal leaned in towards Will, almost as if he didn't want Harry to hear.
Harry was leaning against the counter with a bowl of cocoa puffs, and was listening to the conversation. "If you say what I think you're gonna say, Cal..." he trailed off, smiling widely at the blonde as it left Will in confusion.
"What's this?" Will let humour tinge his voice as the two flatmates in front of him began giggling.
"Cal's gonna say that he knows Lau very well, 'cause they hooked up like a year and a half ago..." Harry began properly laughing now.
"Was she drunk then, as well?" Will found himself asking, and Freezy started to laugh, breaking him out of the mock glare he was sending Harry.
"I believe so. Also, Cal just hasn't seemed to let it go!" Harry finished eating his cocoa puffs and put his bowl in the sink, before smiling at Cal and giving him the thumbs up. He went back to his room.
"What he means by that, is, that I haven't stopped joking about it with her." Cal smiled at Will, trying to excuse Harry's behaviour. Will couldn't help but wonder what was going on.
So Cal really knew Lau, and Will had made fun of her in his recent video. It made the guilt settle in more.
"And what about Mollie? Do you guys know her well too?" Will emphasised the 'well' as he grinned at Freezy and raised his eyebrows.
Freezy seemed to think for a few seconds. "Not as well as Lau, Mollie gets on more with the Sidemen House than the rest of us, but we do still like her of course." He rushed the ending, and Will nodded.
"Of course. Can I stay for a bit?"
★
@deathlies:
annoyed I didn't get to meet @khaleesichloe bc I was doing this project (creds @photots)
❤ 112,650 , 💬 1,954
(12th of March, 2017)
—
Lau laughed to herself as she read through some of the comments on her latest post. Her favourites were the Sidemen's various versions of "smoking is bad, kids" and Chloe's comment. They'd definitely have to meet soon, though, if she was as nice as Simon and Mollie and the rest said.
She got a couple more notifications as she refreshed the likes page, but the three that caught her attention was the follow from Will, the like and the comment on her photo that read:
your photography is amazing btw
And, across the living room, Mollie watched Lau's cheeks tinge pink as she stared at her screen.
★
THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS CHAPTER IS THAT IVE ACTUALLY DONE ALL THE THINGS IN THIS (WORE A DOG TOWEL TO THE PUB BC I FELL IN THE SEA) BUT I WASNT DRUNK SO THAT MAKES IT WORSE AHH