Chapter 22: Masquerade Ball • PART II
My mind can't focus on anything, the atmosphere is unsettling. I can't even feel that I'm still existing because of the numbness my heart feels.
Why does it hurt that deep?
Knowing that the person Levi was dancing with right now was his previous girlfriend cuts deep down.
I couldn't get the courage toturn my seat and look at them or it'll cause me to walk out of here. My expression can be read easily by Hanji, she was staring at me for a while now I can see. I know how much I look pitiful.
"Hanji... it's my fault. It's my fault that I let him." I rested my face on the table, audibly devastated.
"(Y/n)..." she sat beside me and squeezed my hand . "Don't blame yourself, it's okay, everything will be okay because you just thought you did the right thing..."
"But Hanji..." I let out a frustrated sigh, "Why? Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like crashing?" I looked into her eyes with my almost puffy ones that is threatening to burst into tears. "Am I overreacting? Cause I feel like it. Why I wanted to cry? Why does it... hurts here?" I pointed my chest out.
Hanji held my hand tighter. "It's because you are in love."
Her words triggered me.
I am...?
"What?" I asked in confusion. "I-if I am... then I should feel happy, right?"
"You may not know, but crashing is a part of being in love. The way you feel right now is the sign that you're in love, (y/n) and it's only because you don't want him to be taken away from you..."
A single tear suddenly fell down from my cheek, my lips parted a bit while my face made a confused expression. "I-I don't know... but- d-do I really love him?"
"You'll find it out yourself..." Hanji smiled. "(R/n)... falling in love is not an act of will. It is not a conscious choice. No matter how open to or eager for it we may be, the experience may still elude us. Contrarily, the experience may capture us at times when we are definitely not seeking it, when it is inconvenient and undesirable."
After hearing Hanji's words, I don't know where did I got the full courage to glance at Levi and Petra. I know it still hurts, but I have to pull myself together and be strong enough to handle such a thing.
"I... I may have no idea what falling in love is but it might be the reason I was feeling this." I whispered. "Hanji, thank you..." I hugged Hanji.
"No problem." She squeezed my face lightly.
"(Y/n), don't let jealousy get the best of you." I suddenly heard Erwin behind.
"Erwin's right." Hanji hugged me again.
I smiled at them.
Maybe, this experience made me a little carried away. And it's only because amnesia took all of my precious memories away from me that I don't even know how to hold myself back in this kind of situations. But because I had these friends of mine, my weak soul became even more stronger that they guided me wherever path I take.
While I was watching them, a single but enough sign of hope entered my heart after witnessing how annoyed Levi was while talking to her. It's not that I hated her but she made me feel like that this is kind of competition over love.
Even if I had no idea what really love is. All I know is, love is the only way to escape from chaos in life.
Just a minute later, a familiar person suddenly walked in our table. He had a red hair, he wore a mask but something kept bugging me that I've met the person before but still that I had no idea what his name was.
The person smiled and looked down on me.
"Would you like to dance?" He asked me as he held his hand out.
This may be my chance to enjoy the night.
"Sure..." I took his hand gratefully and we went to the center.
The whole place is illuminated with flashing lights and everyone seemed to have fun, you really just have to blend in.
The guy who asked me smiled and took my hand to put it in his shoulder while his other hand on my waist.
How gentleman.
A familiar song has been playing, and it matched how serene the people dancing was. While were dancing, the guy suddenly spoke.
"(R/n), it's been a while..."
My eyebrows twitched but it wasn't visible due that I was wearing my mask. But then again, do I know this guy?
"You know my name?" I asked softly.
He gave me a confused look but soon it faded. "You don't remember me? It's Seven."
I slowly shooked my head.
"Sorry... but I don't remember you." I squeezed my hand on his shoulder a bit. "I had amnesia after an accident as I recall what my friends told me... but you might be a good friend of mine before?"
His expression turned a bit shocked but he suddenly smiled cutely.
"It's fine. I was a survivor of the accident as well, but you were in a comma when I visited you." He smiles. "Anyway, call be Luciel by now."
"Luciel." I pronounced.
"You're cute." He whispered.
I can't help but blush a bit by his compliment, but my attention suddenly diverted into Levi and Petra's direction as I looked over Luciel's shoulder.
"By the way, I heard that you resigned in Trost Airlines... that's why I have no idea what had happened to you after the accident. And I was lucky that I saw you again after a year..." disappointment was audible in his voice.
"O-oh, Yeah..." I turned back to him after being distracted "So, uhmn... the company you're referring to was invited in this event."
"Mhmm.." he hummed. "And then I saw you so I was glad you were doing fine."
"Thanks for the concern, I guess." I slightly chuckled.
"No problem." He smiled again.
After dancing for the recent song, it was immediately replaced by a pop ones but it was still matching the whole scenario, especially that now were beside Levi and Petra.
I looked at Levi who wore a very stoic expression while looking into my eyes with rage. He's probably really annoyed by the situation that now it do looks like legitimized competition of a sweet partner dance.
"2U (Chrissy Costanza & Alex Goot ver.)
No limit in the sky that I won't fly for ya
No amount of tears in my eyes that I won't cry for ya, oh no...
With every breath that I take I want you to share that air with me
There's no promise that I won't keep
I'll climb a mountain, there's none too steep
"You know them?" Luciel asked.
"I do." I responded a little competitive.
The four of us exchanging glares and it seemed that we caught the whole situation that really fast.
When it comes to you
There's no crime
Let's take both of our souls
And intertwine
The four of us suddenly became the center of attraction and it was like a sudden competition of partners.
Were dancing tango and Levi kept on sending death glares to Luciel. While Petra seemed to enjoy the whole scene.
When it comes to you
Don't be blind
Watch me speak from my heart
When it comes to you
Comes to you
Then suddenly Petra and I exchanged positions, now that I was with Levi he looked directly into my orbs.
"(R/n)..." he held me closer as if he doesn't want to let me go. "I saw you cried lately..."
I looked away from him because I was too ashamed to admit. I don't want him to get a clue.
Want you to share that (When it comes to you)
"I am sorry if I suddenly left you." He twisted me around. "I don't wanted to leave you, neither dance with someone else, especially Petra."
Cupid ain't a lie
Arrow got your name on it, oh yeah
Don't miss out on a love
And regret yourself on it, oh
"But you did." My voice trembled. "And you told me I am going to be your princess tonight..."
His expression softened. "I'm sorry..."
Open up your mind, clear your head
Ain't gotta wake up to an empty bed
Share my life, it's yours to keep
Now that I give to you all of me, oh
I sighed deeply and glanced everywhere as Levi bended me. I just realized that only the four of us was dancing here and everyone seemed impressed.
When it comes to you
There's no crime
Let's take both of our souls
And intertwine
When it comes to you
Don't be blind
Watch me speak from my heart
When it comes to you
Comes to you
Were the center of attraction, the media was here to witness the star-studded event. They're capturing every single move we make. And I was kind of unused as the attention.
Want you to share that (Share)
When it comes to you
Want you to share that
Until everything seemed to stop so suddenly as Levi lifted me again after bending me and held my chin lightly with his index finger and thumb.
"I'll prove that you're not just my princess for tonight, and not just for tonight..." he pulled me closer.
When it comes to you
There's no crime
Let's take both of our souls
And intertwine
When it comes to you
Don't be blind
Watch me speak from my heart
When it comes to you
Comes to you
"Because you are my queen..."
Then he crashed his lips into mine that literally not just shocked me but everyone around.