-Sirius Black-
Walking into the Great Hall for dinner, I knew I was about to get a grilling. I had avoided them all day, not even bothering to go to Lunch and I don't think Stella did either. It's not that I didn't want to talk about it, I was dying to tell James and just figure out what everything meant out loud, rather than just internalising it all.
But there was something undeniably hot about keeping it a secret between us, (if you could ignore the fact that the entire school was talking about our half naked dash).
McGonogal cornered me when I went back to the classroom to get my clothes (Stella's were noticably missing). She gave me a tight lipped smile and stated carefully that because she didn't actually see any activities occur, that we can't get in trouble but she suggests that we keep our clothes on and our activities out of her storage closet.
I hadn't seen Stella yet, but I was dying to. I wanted to know if she was in pieces too. Because fucking hell, I am in pieces.
"Sirius Orion Black!"
James' voice echoed across the great hall and almost the entirety of the student population turned to look at me. As I walked over to our regular spot on the Gryffindor table, a couple of the guys clapped me on the back. I sank into my seat next to Remus and James stared at me with wide eyes.
"Spit it out, Prongs." I said cheekily and James' lips curled into a grin.
"When were you going to tell us that you guys were fucking?"
I almost spat out my pumpkin juice.
"We are not fucking." I insisted and James scoffed.
"We were there when McGonogal found you guys in the storage closet. It was very steamy in there, Padfoot." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"We were not about to..." I paused. "I mean, I don't think we were." Remus snorted. "It was all very spurr of the moment." I finished with a sheepish smile.
At that precise moment, out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of golden blonde hair. I turned my head to see Stella Hart waltz into the great hall. Just like when I arrived, everyone's heads turned to her, but unlinke when I arrived, people started hooted and whistling and banging there hands on the table.
Stella's eyes met mine. Her lips lifted slightly. Her hair was still out of it's ponytail and messy after I ran my hands through it. She then turned her gaze back to her audience and curtsied, flashing them all a dazzling smile. She then marched over to the Slytherin table and sat down. Lily was over there in a flash.
"You are so full of shit, Sirius." Remus laughed and James and Peter joined him.
"Hey Black!"
Matheiu Clement's voice called out to me and I turned to see him lazily stroll over to our table, flanked by some Durumstrang boys.
"Clement." I nodded at him and moved to turn around but his voice stopped me.
"Saw that little stunt of yours in the North wing today. What a sight." He laughed but there was an edge to his voice. "Not you of course," he continued, "But Stella Hart though." He whistled and I clenched my fists.
"What's your point?" I spoke through gritted teeth.
"I just want to thank you." He stated and when I look confused, he continued. "Now I know how to get in Stella's pants. Just shove her into a broom closet."
My fist connected with his jaw before he had time to wipe the smirk off his face. The blow took him down to the ground and I moved with him, grabbing him by his freshly pressed shirt.
People were on their feet and others were yelling but I barely noticed. It wasn't until she pressed her lips to my ear that I faltered.
"Sirius. Please." She whispered and I breathed in her familiar scent.
"Don't do this. He's not worth it. Please."
I hesitated, overwhelmed by the anger in my veins and the feeling of her lips on my ear.
Suddenly I pressed him against the ground, hard, and strode off, marching angrily right out of the great hall.
"Black!"
Stella had followed me. All of a sudden I was furious.
"No, fuck that. You don't get to call me Sirius when you want something or to use against me and then switch back to Black whenever it suits you. Pick one and stick with it." I yelled at her and she stopped in her tracks, mouth parted.
"It's not like that-" She began but I cut her off.
"Oh right, you'd never be that selfish! Unless I'm drunk on a roof somewhere." I said sarcastically. I remembered to late that I wasn't supposed to remember that night but the damage had already been done.
"You remember." She said softly
"How could I forget?" I mumbled, raking a hand through my hair. She let out a long breath and looked at her hands.
"This is why." She breathed, and I stepped closer to her.
"Why what?"
She looked at me with sad eyes.
"Why I can't fall for you," my breath caught in my throat, "why we're not meant to be."
I opened my mouth to speak but she continued anyway.
"We could never work! My mother is breathing down my neck and if she finds out about what happened today, she'll probably send me to Ilvermorney! We can't do anything to rock the boat with your parents either or they'll kick you out! If things ended badly it would ruin our the dynamic of our friends group and don't even mention the shit I'm probably going to get from Lily about this. Plus half of the girl population of Hogwarts will now want my head on a spike. We're fucking doomed!"
Her breathing was ragged and her cheeks were red and her eyes wild.
"Then what are you still doing here."
I don't think she wanted to go, but she did. I may be wrong though, I have been wrong about a lot of things lately. But because I couldn't help myself I called after her anyway.
"Stella!"
She turned to me, eyes glistening. Something tugged at my heart.
"Have you ever thought that even though everything is against us, we still might be meant to be?"
A small sob escaped her mouth and she raised her hand to her lips, covering it so that no more sound could escaped. Although, the tears still fell.
I hated seeing her cry.
I hated even more, watching her walk away.
But I did and I just hoped that she would come back.
~~~
I didn't go back to dinner after that, instead I went back to the Common Room. I just wanted to be alone for a while, but apparently that wasn't in the forseeable future because when I got into my dorm, someone was already there.
Lily Evans was waiting for me, arms crossed and a face like thunder.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She growled.
"Lil, don't start." I groaned and she scoffed.
"I've already started. What do you think you're playing at?" She asked again.
I let out a long breath.
"I honestly don't know."
She didn't like that.
"Well you need to figure it out and fast, Sirius. Stella never cries."
Guilt ripped through me.
"I never meant for that to happen, for any of this shit to happen" I told her, rubbing my jaw anxiously.
Her eyes studied me carefully in the way that Lily does before widening slightly.
"You care about her!" She exclaimed, "I wasn't sure, you've dicked around a fair bit Sirius, but you actually care about her."
"I really do. Basically I'm fucked."
Lily laughed and the tension disolved.
"It seems you are." She plopped down on my bed.
"When did all of this happen?" She asked, the edge gone from her voice.
I plopped down next to her.
"Which part?"
She flew off the bed.
"Sirius Orion Black, there's more than one part?" She hollared.
That made me grin.
"Okay then, how about the start?"
"Well there had always been something there I just didn't quite realise, I don't think either of us did. But I think the start of this was the Yule Ball." I told her.
That got her attention.
"The Yule Ball? That must have been after I left..." She trailed off and I knew she was remembering her fight with James.
"You know... Lil, you can talk to me about James-" I began but she cut me off quickly, "No thank you, love."
"We are talking about you and Stella not me and James." She reminded me and I sighed.
"So...?" She prompted.
"Well, when she came down those stairs at the Ball, something kind of shifted. I can't really explain it, but I felt it. And then both of our dates dumped us on our asses and we just sort of gravitated towards each other. We had this moment on the balconey and we had the last dance and she told me things..."
Lily was hanging onto every word.
"Things?" She prompted and I laughed.
"She told me to write to her."
That confused her.
"Write to her? Over the christmas break? Write what?" She asked.
I smiled.
"Anything."
"Oh my god you're actually smitten!" She cried poking my cheek and I swatted her hand away.
"Shut up."
"Okay, okay. It's just I've never seen you blush before." She snickered
"Do you want to hear the rest or not?" I asked and She nodded furiously.
"Okay so I did, write to her, and I kind of showed up at her window at midnight on Christmas Day and we kind of had a midnight picnic of sorts..." I trailed off.
"And...?" She pressed and I grinned.
"And we kissed."
A goofy smile crossed Lily's face.
"You kissed?"
"We kissed."
"And...?"
"And we kissed at James'."
"At James'!" Lily cried, mouth hanging open.
"And then she told me we couldn't be together."
That gave Lily wiplash. She reeled back, her brow furrowing.
"Did she say why?" She asked.
"She gave me a lot of bullshit reasons but I think It was because of her Mum."
"Oh." Lily touched her lips thinking hard, over thinking the situation (a lot like Stella).
"Then she kissed me at Scarlett's because she thought I would be too drunk to remember."
"Oh my fucking god, you guys are like a soap opera!" She screeched and I laughed.
"Then we avoided each other like the plague until today."
"When you ripped each other's clothes off in the Transfiguration broom closet."
"That's the one."
I raked a hand through my hair and let out a long breath.
"Basically," she paused, "you're fucked."
I laughed but there was truth to her words. Reminising about the good times doesn't take away from the bad times and the worst was our fight today.
Suddenly the door flew open and James, remus and Peter all tumbled in, panting.
"What is it?" I asked quickly
"Dumbledor announced when the third tournament task would be." Remus announced, his breathing heavy.
"Shit." I got to my feet.
"On the second to last day of school for the year." James explained and my worry lessened, that's ages away.
"In two weeks time." Peter finished.
Fear gripped me.
"Two weeks?" I exclaimed.
"The school year is finishing much shorter, due to the Voldemort attacking the Ministry."
Voldemort.
In the past five or so years, Voldemort had risen into power, establishing an extremely large following of predjudice, power crazed witches and wizards. We are incredibly sheltered at Hogwarts so we don't seem to quite realise the severity of his attacks but it seemed, from what I have seen in the daily prophet, 1975 was a devastating year for muggles and wizards who had gotten in his way.
My parents fucking admired him. They had walked the line between good and bad for a long time now but Voldemort was like adding fuel to the fire. It was part of the reason they despised me so much, because I hate Voldemort and I always will.
"He attacked the Ministry?" Lily breathed.
Lily was another reason why all of us, not just me, hated Voldemort and could not follow him. Voldemort wants to eradicate muggle born and even half blood witches and wizards and he has already killed so many.
"Killed 23 people and infultrated the department of mysteries." Remus explained.
"Merlin's beard."
This is the reason why we can't stay silent anymore. Can't skirt around the problem because it's too confronting to talk about. Can't chose not to speak up because it's not appropriate dinner time conversation.
Someone has got to start fighting back, because things are getting worse.
But James had a bigger problem that was looming.
The last task in the Tri-Wizard Tournament.
Two weeks.
Shit.
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AUTHORS NOTE
Bit of a filler chapter today but still crucial for what is to come. THERE IS ONLY ONE OR TWO CHAPTERS LEFT OF PART ONE DEPENDING ON THE LENGTH GET READYYYYY!!!
Don't forget to vote and comment because it means the world to me!!!
*loves*
-J xx