Chapter Eight
"I'm not sitting around here anymore! I'm gonna go find my damn sister!" Chance exclaimed as he slammed his fist down on the dinner table and jumped to his feet.
"Your sister is dead, boy." Paul countered coldly. Sarah gasped and threw her napkin on the table.
"Stop saying that!" she sobbed.
"Well it's the damn truth." Paul stated matter of factly. "She's dead or as good as with those outlaws having had her this long. It's her own fault too. If she hadn't run off none of this would have happened!"
"Pa, don't blame Leah. If we hadn't been such hard asses and had let her marry who she wanted to then this wouldn't have happened at all!" Chance stated solemnly as he handed his sobbing mother the bandana from his pocket. "Now I'm gonna go find her and if, God forbid, she is dead then I intend to kill every single man who had anything to do with her being taken."
"They'll kill you too, boy." Paul warned. "They'll kill you just like they've killed your sister and then what will your mother have?" Sarah's sobs grew louder and Chance shook his head.
"They ain't gonna kill me, pa. They won't have the chance because I'm gonna kill them first." Chance stormed from the dining room and into the living room where Benjamin was sitting in his wheelchair.
"Chance?" he said and Chance stopped and looked down at the man.
"What?"
"Make sure you kick those men a few times while they're down for me."
"I will." Chance promised.
"And when you find Leah, tell her that I love her and that I'm sorry."
"I'm sure my sister will be happy as hell to come back to you." Chance replied before heading up the stairs toward his room.
Benjamin sighed and leaned against his chair. Leah wouldn't want him once she knew about his legs. She was young, vibrant, full of life. That was one of the things he had always loved the most about her. He couldn't be a husband to her. He couldn't give her children or walk with her in the sunset.
He prayed those men hadn't killed her but even if she was alive and Chance managed to bring her back, those outlaws had succeeded in taking her away from him.
Chance came back down the stairs several minutes later with a revolver on his hip and a rifle on his back. Sarah came out of the kitchen and handed her son a burlap sack that smelled of homemade biscuits.
"You be careful, son, and you come back to your father and I." she ordered. Chance tipped his hat.
"Yes'm." A tear rolled down Sarah's cheek but she stuck her chin up and squared her shoulders.
"Your daddy isn't mad at you, Chance. He feels the guilt clear down to his bones that your sister got taken and he feels the sadness even deeper than that. It's just that your daddy has always been a negative thinker and he's sure that it's....it's too late." Chance hugged his mother tight.
"I'm gonna find her mama. Dead or alive, I'm gonna find her and bring her back home where she belongs."
***
The weeks flew by and before Leah knew it she had been living among the outlaw camp for a month. None of the men bothered her anymore, even if she wandered around camp while Chase was hunting. Their fear of the Indian was greater than any desire they may have for her.
More than once Chase had made several of the men swallow their own teeth after they had made lewd comments toward her or stared at her for too long. He always made sure to simply make it seem as if he was marking his territory and showed her no tenderness among the men but she knew the truth and couldn't help but feel flattered by his protectiveness and jealousy.
Petey still made her nervous. Nearly every time she saw him he was watching her. Staring at her with lust and hatred in his blue eyes. Though he was careful to hide himself whenever Chase was near her. That was why she chose to keep to the tent nearly every moment when Chase was not around.
But today was a special day. Chase had grabbed her by the arm unexpectedly, thrown her on his horse and rode off over the plains with her without saying a word.
They had stopped miles from camp, beside a sparkling pool of water and large oaks. Wildflowers of every color bloomed in the spring sunshine. Filling the green grasses with flashes of yellow, white, orange and pink.
"This is beautiful!" Leah gasped as Chase dismounted and then put his hands on her waist and pulled her down, keeping her body pressed against his own.
"It is my favorite place. This is where I want us to have our home."
"So close to the camp?!" Leah exclaimed as she turned in his arms and pressed her back into his chest. Chase's arms wrapped around her and he rested his chin on her dark hair.
"The camp will be moving within the next two or three weeks. They will be moving on to a new place and I want a home here with you."
"I would love that, Chase."
"A log cabin just there on that tiny hill. A few heads of cattle, pigs, sheep and chickens. Enough to keep our family fed. We'll plant crops out there and we can breed and sell cattle for money."
"You've really thought about this." Leah stated with surprise and Chase smiled against her hair.
"Only since I've met you. I never wanted roots. I never wanted to settle down. You have made me want to live a different kind of life."
"Why don't we start now?" Leah asked as she turned in his arms again and looked up at him. He sighed.
"I have no money to start our life with. There is a job coming in a few days. I'll be leaving with Boss and most of the men for three days and coming back a rich man."
"A job? What kind of job?" Leah asked suspiciously.
"You don't really want to know that."
"Are you going to... to kill someone?"
"Only if they try to kill me first." Chase replied without apology. "I can promise you that this money is coming from a place that it will not be missed. I do not steal money from hardworking people who need their money."
Leah was silent and Chase could read the worry and trepidation on her face.
"I have to do what I must, Leah. I have searched for jobs doing other things and never made it past the front gate because of my dark skin, long hair and Apache face." Still Leah said nothing.
"You are ashamed of me. Are you thinking you made a mistake by accepting me?"
"No!" Leah quickly reassured him. She had learned over the last month that while he was a man of incredible strength, patience and power he was also insecure about his Indian heritage and constantly worried that she would push him away because of it. "I will never be ashamed of you or regret my decision to stay with you. You are a product of circumstance and despite the hardships you've encountered you are a good man. If there is one thing I've learned in the last month it is that life isn't black and white the way my father tried to make it seem."
"No, life is gray." Chase agreed.
"I hate that people hate you simply because of your blood."
"But not you. You see my kidji didjula."
"Yes I see your heart." Leah agreed and Chase's eyes lit up proudly. He had been teaching her several Apache words over the last few weeks and she was learning well. "Why don't you use that language more often?" Leah asked as she led him down to the water and sat on the bank. Chase sat beside her cross-legged and propped his forearms on his knees.
"Because my father forbid it. He hated almost everything Apache because of what they did to his mother.'
"But your mother was apache." Leah pointed out and Chase nodded as he picked a long blade of grass and began to tie it in knots.
"Yes that's why I said almost everything." he replied with a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. "My mother taught me several words before she was killed. I don't speak the language fluently and I know almost nothing about the culture or way of life."
"I don't know anything about Indians other than what my father has told us."
"It's amazing you trust me at all." Chase admitted. Leah smiled and kissed his cheek.
"My father was wrong. I'm realizing he's wrong about a lot of things but he's right about some as well. He was right about Benjamin. He was right about the kind of husband I needed."
"Husband?" Chase asked with a raise of his brow and Leah opened her mouth to speak but clamped it back shut. Her hand instantly went to her hair and she began playing with the ends and staring at the water.
"It's a pretty day." she said a bit too loudly. Chase's laughter had her looking at him in shock. She had never heard him laugh before. The sound was deep and full and it washed over her like sunshine after a rainstorm. But what was he laughing about?
"Outlaw. Savage. Injun. Husband. I wear many hats, might as well add one more."
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Leah asked with disbelief and Chase pushed her onto her back in the grass and braced himself over her.
"You know how I feel about you, Leah. That piece of paper means nothing to me. I do not need it to know that I am committed to you and only you for life but if it is important to you then it will be done. Anything you want will always be done."
"You'll do anything I want?" Leah asked, chewing on her bottom lip. Chase frowned and pulled away from her.
"I don't like it when you chew on your lip. It means you are thinking of something. Thinking of doing something. Most likely turning my words around and using them against me."
"Does not." Leah argued stubbornly as she sat up and made a point of stopping her chewing. Chase glanced at her and raised his brow, waiting for her to speak. She sighed.
"It's nothing really, I just want to.. I want to visit my family. I want to let them know that I'm okay." Chase pushed himself off the ground with a growl and began pacing the bank with agitation.
"No." he stated coldly. Leah stood up at well and clenched her fists angrily at her sides.
"No? I thought we were past treating me like I'm a prisoner?"
"Why?" Chase demanded. "Why do you care about those people? They do not care about you!"
"Yes they do! Why on earth would you say something like that?!"
"The night I met you, you were running away from them and they were letting you."
"I was running away because I was being foolish! And it led to Benjamin being killed!" she replied, her voice breaking a little. She had gotten stronger in the last month, however, and the tears didn't fall so easily now. She raised her chin and squared her shoulders. "My family loves me and they deserve to know I'm okay."
"You can write them."
"What are you afraid of?" Leah demanded.
"Nothing. I fear nothing." Chase shot back coldly as his pacing feet picked up speed.
"Chase, you told me once that I wouldn't regret choosing to stay with you. I chose you and I think that that earned me the truth." Chase sighed and stopped walking. He looked out over the water and she saw the tension in his jaw. His face seemed to be carved from stone.
"I don't want to lose you." he replied quietly. "I fear losing you." Leah went to him and grabbed his hand. She laid it on her chest and looked into his black eyes.
"Feel that?" she asked. She saw the corner of his mouth twitch as his hand squeezed a little.
"Yes." Leah rolled her eyes and swatted his arm.
"The heartbeat, Chase. I was talking about the heartbeat."
"I feel that too." he replied, his tone deepening.
"Yes well it's yours and you're not going to lose it."
"They won't approve of me."
"I want to see them to let them know I'm alive, not get their approval. What makes you think they wouldn't approve?" Leah asked, though she had a feeling he was right.
"I am an outlaw. I steal and I kill when necessary. I'm an Indian. I am not the type of man that any mother and father would want for their daughter."
"Maybe they'll look past all of that and see how much I love you and how much you love me. Surely every parent wants that for their child." Chase shook his head.
"You want to believe the best but life isn't like that, Leah."
"Their opinion won't change mine. You are my choice. You have asked me to trust you and now I'm asking you to trust me." Chase was quiet for a long time as he stared down into her eyes. The breeze blew her skirt, whipping it around his lean legs and it sent long tendrils of her dark hair around his face. Leah reached to the back of his head and ran her fingers through his long, black hair, pulled back low on his head.
"Okay. I will trust you. When I return from this job we will go and see your family before we start on our home." Leah smiled brightly and threw her arms around his neck.
"Thank you, Chase!" she exclaimed with a laugh and Chase scooped her off her feet and spun her around. He loved seeing her happy though her happiness didn't rid him of the knot of uneasiness in his gut. Something very bad was going to happen. He didn't know what and he didn't know when but he did know that there wasn't going to be anything he could do to stop it.