A.N.
Hi loves! So everything's practically been crazy, vacation in Italy was perfect! I even met a cute boy and had my personal almost summer romance! Since I've been home I have been crazy busy with uni preparation and stuff and I finally got to choose my subjects and set my time table yesterday! And todaaaay I got a new computer straight from USA so ya know, new MacBook is like a very new notebook, it's just filled with inspiration. So with no regrets I stayed up till 4.30 am so I could deliver this baby to you! Let me know what u think!!
Love, wiki
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Chapter 47
"He's going to do what?" I felt myself fading as I could feel the blood rushing into my head, and suddenly I was almost blacking out with anger. This could not possibly be happening. What was wrong with my life. Nothing, not even once could go without complications. Why couldn't I simply have a fine night with a boy I loved? Why did everything had to get so messed up? And it all was Enjolras' fault.
Courfeyrac hesitated before answering me, he seemed almost terrified. His eyes were filled with regret and the vein on his neck was pulsing dangerously. Under my deadly gaze, he stammered,
"He- he said he will kill the king tonight," saying it once more did not seem easier to him, in fact it must have been a thousand times harder, as I was in fact listening carefully this time.
"Right." I mumbled more to myself, not even realising how angry I sounded. To be honest I felt as if something was boiling inside me. I could have suspected that Enjolras would try such folly as killing my father, but after all that nonsense he pulled with proposing to me, I didn't dare thinking that he actually would do it.
I was wrong.
"Victorie, I-" he began but I did not care let him finish, because I felt cheated.
"Why on earth did you hide it away from me all this time we've been here?" I asked.
Actually, none of them thought it would be suitable to fill me in on their grand plan. And as far as I remembered, I was the leader of the revolution as well. I wasn't a nobody. It stung my heart, because perhaps my closest coconspirators did not think of me as an equal, and equality has been everything we were fighting for in the first place.
"Well," he seemed shy suddenly, "I was going to tell you..."
Yes, I did love him. I loved him so much that my heart could burst with the feeling, nevertheless there was a part of me, and God, that part could become dominant every second now, that wanted to slap his face so hard he would forget his name. I did not know what was preventing me from taking the hit. I was angry, I was furious. His apologetic gaze did not move me. I puffed with annoyance.
"We have been here for hours, Courfeyrac!" I exclaimed, "Hours! And yet you failed to mention that Enjolras wants to kill my father, until the very last minute!"
"He did not want you to know, Vi." He whispered.
"Of course, he did not." I snorted, which sounded almost like a hysterical laughter, "This did not, however, entitle you to not telling me!"
"I did tell you," he protested bluntly, making me chuckle nervously.
"Yes!" I shouted, "only after you have satisfied your needs! For all we know, my father might be already dead!"
Perhaps I did get carried away, perhaps I was voicing things I would later come to regret, but let me remind you that my mind was slightly clouded by the fact that one of my closest friends was about to kill me father, and that... that it could mean horrible consequences.
"Victorie, please calm down," Courfeyrac pleaded, "You cannot prevent it by shouting at me! Your screams won't change a thing!"
I wanted to answer something mean. I wanted to shout even louder, use vulgar words, maybe punch him in the chest once or twice. Nevertheless, he was right. I could not save my father by turning Courfeyrac into a training sack.
I closed my eyes for an instant. Took a deep breath, and I knew I could not risk to waste any more time in such a daft way.
"I have to stop him." I said finally, but I felt as if my voice was coming from far away. I knew I was a mess, and that saving my father would be so much harder if my mind wasn't in such a state of hectic thought overload. I needed to think clear, but It was impossible.
"You won't stop him, Victorie," Courfeyrac protested, "You know it more than anyone else, it is impossible to change his mind once he's decided."
"I have to try!" I cried, "I changed his mind when he had decided that I should not take part in the revolution, and I can change it once more!"
"This is not the same," He sighed, "he won't stop. I know it must be hard for you because he is, after all, going to kill your father, but I am afraid there is nothing to be done now."
"It is not just about my father, François!" I exclaimed, deeply annoyed by the man's ignorance, "Have the two of you never think of the consequences of such a deed?! They will touch all of us! If Enjolras succeeds in assassinating the king, he will bring death upon himself immediately. They will not let him escape, there will not be a trial, there will not be a revolution!" I tried to overcome the shaking of my voice but it was far more difficult than I thought, with a harsh feeling in my throat, I continued, "And when they are done with him, they will trace him back to me! My mother... she will use this as the final excuse she has been waiting for all my life, she'll get rid of me once and for all! It is a death sentence for me!"
"Oh, God," he was shocked, his hands were shivering, "I did not think of it-"
"Of course, you did not think!" I shouted violently, but seeing his hurt puppy eyes, I took a breath and brushing my fingers through my hair, I tried to calm down. I came up to the man, and placed my hands on his, "I really do have to stop him," I repeated as calmly as I could.
"How?" He asked, seeming more eager to cooperate with me.
"First, you need to tell me how he plans to do it." I demanded quietly.
"During the grand finale of the fireworks show," Fra answered, "He believes that the sounds of explosions will hide the gunshots."
I felt as if someone has taken my breath away, he did in fact had everything planed out.
"We have five minutes, ten at most." I breathed.
We exchanged looks, his gaze was almost empty, his eyes reminded mirrors. In these almost black orbs, I could see my own face; pale with terror. The sounds of the firework show suddenly reminded me of a ticking clock, a clock that grew louder and louder, measuring the time until the beginning of the end. That is, if we cannot manage to stop Enjolras.
"we have to go now!" I felt myself pulling his hand and we run out of the pool house.
Outside, it might have been a little brighter and chillier, but I did not notice the crisp of the air. Everything around me merged into blur, as I kept running as fast as I could, however, feeling that I was not running fast enough. I was afraid it would be too late when we got there, but at the same time I wished to prolong the time of our run so that I could actually come up with the idea how to convince Enjolras not to fire. But nothing, not a single thought inside my head sounded convincing. The revolution was about to happen on a very small scale, and it was about to drag me down in the very first minutes of its existence. It would kill me, and I, I would die with the consciousness that I was unable to prevent it, that I was, in fact the traitor of the crown.
I cursed myself for I thought that I got lost; the way to the representative part of the gardens never seemed so long, so dark and so windy. I was on the brink of crying, my heart was beating so hard it was about to crush my ribs, and finally, I could hardly breathe, my lungs seemed to be consumed by a horrible fire.
I felt myself sigh with relief when we finally managed to reach the edge of the crowd that gathered to watch the fireworks. This sigh, however, was a sign of hurried relief, one disappeared the very instant I realized that the difficult part of the journey did not end, but has just begun.
Forcing our way through the crowd, I felt almost the same way I felt when I was trying to escape the national guard, together with Enjolras. Only this time, I was actually running for my life, and the circumstances were quite different. Everyone was preoccupied with observing the beautiful explosions, so we could not run. No one could find our behaviour suspicious, nothing could go wrong. I could barely see where I was going, as the pitch blackness, was flashing with faces of colors, giving the guests most horrifying physiques, giving me a headache. I tried not to panic, I really did, but feeling how slippery Courfeyrac's hand felt in mine, I felt as if I was about to faint and throw up at the same time. I felt him squeezing my palm, probably trying to reassure me, as I was desperately scanning the surroundings to find that bastard; Enjolras.
"I should have told you earlier," I heard Fra's shaky voice, that died in the loud gasps of the crowd. The finale was almost here.
"Now is not the best time for 'I should have's' and regrets," I criticized.
"I know, but.. I am so sorry," for a second, I turned my head to look at him.
He was staring at me with pure guilt in his chocolate eyes, and there was a part of me that wanted to embrace him and affirm that everything is alright, that I am not mad, but it was not the truth.
"you are wasting my time," I hissed through my teeth.
I did not hear his answer, as I froze suddenly. There, on the edge of the crowd, dangerously close to the king's podium, I saw no one else but Enjolras himself. Everything slowed down, as if the time had stopped. He was standing tall, in a dark shadow, silver mask covering his face, golden curls falling on his forehead. He kept his hand inside his tailcoat, almost as if he was reaching for something, a shotgun I presume. There was terror in his sky-blue eyes, as if he knew that his life was about to end, as soon as he took away the life of my father.
My body acted faster than my mind, my legs began moving again, and before I realized I was almost running to be there on time, leaving Courfeyrac behind me. I was running to save my father, to save my friend, to save myself. I did not care if someone noticed that I was pushing my way through the crowd, I did not feel it.
I felt nothing.
The perception of my senses has shut down in some way, the pain from my lungs was gone, I couldn't even feel the pounding of my heart anymore. I have almost become a being without its physical representation. There was riniging in my head, as if even my mind refused to be a part of this reality.
But then, my mind turned on equally suddenly as it had turned off. My head was hurting, my lungs were burning again, my heart was trying to commit suicide, and my vision sharpened. It was as if someone has poured a bucket of ice cold water on my head.
I hardly prevented convulsions when I found myself standing between the king's podium and Enjolras' stretched out arm. He was holding a small gun, and right now it pointed right at my chest.
"Don't shoot!" I heard myself shout whispering, but I was not sure whether my voice was at all audible.
He shivered violently, as if he has awoken from a trans into a state of shock, yet he did not lower his gun.
"Victorie, what the hell you are doing here?"
"I am trying to prevent you from doing something you will regret for the rest of your life!" I exclaimed,
"You can't!" he bellowed, "This is my choice, this is my revolution, I am doing this for France!"
"Do you really wish to end it like this?" I asked, slowly coming up to him, trying to ignore the fact that the distance between my chest and the gun was disappearing dangerously, "to be murdered and remembered as the infamous assassinator of the king? To give your life away so easily?!"
"Don't you understand?!" he exclaimed, "I have nothing else to live for, I gave myself to patria, and I will serve it to my last dying breath. And I, I choose to be hero of the people, even if I don't live to see the happy days of the republic."
"One could think that your worlds are chivalrous, but to me they sound only foolish," I whispered, and I felt a cold thump when the cold pistol crashed against the material of my dress.
"Get out of the way, Victorie," He muttered, "I don't want to hurt you,"
"You will have no choice," I spoke, "If you want to kill the king, you will have to kill me first." I could not believe the words I was saying, but to my surprise they sounded convincing, they sounded almost terrifying.
"You know I will never kill you!"
"Oh, you think so?" I snorted, "Even if I move away and you kill the king, they will kill you, and knowing you came here with me, they will kill me as well." I hissed, "So you might as well do me a favour and pierce me with your bullet, because I don't intend staying around to watch."
For a short second, his hand shook, his eyes flickered as if something broke inside him. He inhaled violently, and finally lowered the gun. I was about to sigh with relief when I heard him speak,
"I could never hurt you, but I have to kill him. There is no other way, I do not care if I die, there is no future for me."
The sadness in his blue orbs stabbed me in my heart. The man of hope, the man of the light and future, stood there, drenched in darkness, and hopeless. The stars I have seen in his eyes, were gone. There was only death. I looked down on the dark ground and bit my lip, trying to stop myself from breaking out in a desperate cry, when, suddenly, I realized that this was not an end. A violent warmth of hope run through my veins as I gathered the force to raise my eyes and meet his.
"No future, you said?" I asked. He looked at me confused, and I took one step closer towards him, "what if you had a future?"
"What sort of question is that?" he inquired, half annoyed, half dumbfounded.
I only smiled at him, as softly as I could, coming even closer and reaching out to touch his hand, the one that was still clenching on the gun.
"Just let it go," I mumbled, "do not kill the king, and I will give you the future you wanted," I whispered to his face, pressing my fingers onto his, to make him relief the pressure on the weapon. His mind seemed to not completely follow, he frowned, and I raised my other hand to touch his face and remove the mask. He was breathing heavily and looked like an innocent child.
"A future I wanted?"
I did not love him, never could love him the way I loved Courfeyrac, but staring into these pure eyes, I could not bear thinking that he could be dead in less than ten minutes. The world needed him here, alive.
I knew well what I had to do. Perhaps it was a duty, but a duty I was proud to fulfil.
I leaned in to be able to whisper right into his ear,
"Yes, Enjolras," I felt him shiver at the sound of my voice. I gazed upon his face, and locked our eyes, gathering the courage to voice the most difficult words of my life, "Drop the gun, choose life over death, and I... I will marry you."
He gasped, but then anew fire lit up his eyes, and without the slightest hesitation, he crashed his lips against mine, taking my breath away, and dropping the gun to be to close his arms around me in a firm embrace.