day 15 ➜ to the person I miss the most
Dear fourteen-year-old me,
I miss you the most, fourteen-year-old-me always because it was the only time I really had it all and I was happy (for the most part). It was the only age in my life where I could smile and it is not burdened by pain or unfortunate circumstances. You made real smiles. All the way through your fourteenth year of life, you were forced to choose and you became a lionheart.
You were brave. You were courageous. You were home.
"When a smile is true, the tears don't drool, at how happy you are, as there is no need, for waterworks at a firework party, you don't need a drink or a bar or a snack, all you need is right there with you and I dare say your smile is worth so much more than a few seconds of grace".
Gosh, I've always been utter shit at poetry but...
That's what I wish I could say to you, you were only starting to feel and smile then, but it only really meant freedom then. After your fourteenth year your emotions and expressions became strained, I wished you'd enjoyed your youth to the max and not cut yourself off halfway, Harry.
I just wish I had smiled more when I was your age because now things are so fucked up, it even hurts to smile. Almost like a smile is something I don't deserve to do, when so much is lost because of me.
It's almost as if I try my hardest to smile, but the dry dead layer of skin on my lips cracks even more like the continents spreading apart over centuries, and instead of the land being filled with water, it's filled with my blood. A bitter taste, stinging.
Smile like you did when you were pushing Christine in circles on the roundabout in the park across from school. The way that smile was happy and toothy. The way your eyes had lights in your eyes.
Never forget that feeling.
All the love, Harry.
//author's note//
unedited
It's been nearly a week since the last update, and that's because if u haven't guessed... school started up again for me
near about halfway through the letters now!