noel
I woke up to the alarm on my phone, quickly shutting it off. I literally got zero sleep last night. My thoughts kept me up all night. So much for getting sleep.
I hobbled out of bed and started my morning routine. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and hands, and then got dressed. I wore a thrasher hoodie and a pair of ripped jeans. I threw on a pair of my converse, grabbed my phone, earbuds, and bookbag and headed downstairs. I grabbed a bottle of water and a handful of grapes out of the fridge and headed out.
I decided to listen to some music on my way to school. I put in my earbuds and The Hills by The Weeknd came on. I tapped my finger along to the beat, but was soon interrupted when my earbuds were ripped out of my ears.
"Hey, you thought you could walk the streets of Chicago without me," Tucker asked, wrapping both of his arms around me.
"I'm just walking to school, Tuck," I argued.
"It can still be a dangerous walk, El. You never know what could be waiting for you around the corner," he stated.
"Whatever. Are you my guardian angel now," I asked sarcastically.
"Are you kidding? I've always been your guardian angel, ever since you were born," he joked.
"That's unlikely considering I'm older than you by four months," I stated, putting an earbud in my ear as Tucker put the other in his ear.
"Why are you always so serious," he asked, his small smile turning into a sarcastic frown. I pursed my lips and shrugged. "You seem to be in a better mood today."
"Just trying to stay positive. For now atleast," I said, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear.
"You want me to kick his ass for you? 'Cause I totally will," he said. For a minute there, I couldn't tell if he was being serious or just joking, which made me worry a little bit.
"I'd like to see you try," I stated. "Carl can take anything one handed." Tucker just shrugged.
We finally got to school with three minutes until the bell rings. Tucker and I went our separate ways. He went to his locker, I went to mine. I grabbed all of the books I'd need for my morning classes and headed to biology.
I walked in, seeing Carl already in his seat next to Nick and my heart began to beat a thousand times faster. I kept my head up and walked to my seat in confidence, not making any sort of contact with him or anyone else in the classroom.
I sat down in my seat and pretended like I was getting ready for class. I saw Carl staring at me from the corner of my eye, but I tried my hardest not to pay any attention to it.
"Oh, uh, hi Noel," Dominique awkwardly greeted me as she sat down in the seat next to me.
"Don't talk to her," Carl half yelled at Dominique, earning my attention. Dom didn't say another word, she kept her eyes pointed at the white board. I rested my head on my hand, turning away from Dom as I waited for class to begin. "Hey, El? Can we talk now?"
"Class is about to start," I mumbled just as the bell rang. He sighed, taking his phone out of his pocket.
"Okay, class," the teacher said. "Open up your books to page 164, read, and began the activity on page 165. Make sure you read the instructions carefully." I did as the teacher said until I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
💔💔💔: can we text?
Babygirl😩❤️: now?
💔💔💔: yes now.
💔💔💔: why is my name three broken hearts on your phone?!?
I peered over at Carl and noticed he was staring directly at my phone.
Babygirl😩❤️: because you broke my heart
💔💔💔: i didn't mean to!
💔💔💔: if you would let me explain you would understand!!!
Babygirl😩❤️: i don't think i would understand because i've never cheated on anyone! especially someone i love as much as i love you
💔💔💔: please let me explain
Babygirl😩❤️: fine but not over text
💔💔💔: place and time???
Babygirl😩❤️: the swings at lunch
💔💔💔: i'll be there
Babygirl😩❤️: whatever just do your work
💔💔💔: awwww
Babygirl😩❤️: what
💔💔💔: you still care about me
Babygirl😩❤️: just because you hurt me doesn't mean i stopped caring for and loving you
💔💔💔: awww babyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️❤️
💔💔💔: i love youuu❤️❤️❤️❤️
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I shut my phone off and stuck it back in my pocket.
"Hey," Carl whisper yelled to get my attention. I turned around and gave him an irritated look.
"What now," I whispered back.
"I love you," he whispered a little louder. "Okay?"
"Okay," I said. He gave me sad puppy dog eyes, making me roll mine and I finally gave in. "I love you too." A proud smile appeared on his face and he went back to his work.
•••
When the lunch bell rang, I took my time getting my afternoon books and heading outside to the swings. Once, I got out there, Carl was already sitting on a swing waiting for me.
He stood right up once he saw me. He held his arms out for a hug, but I brushed beside him and sat down in the swing I always sit on. He followed my lead, sitting down on the swing next to me.
"Where's Nick," I asked him, trying to break the awkward silence.
"He's taking care of business for me," he told me. I nodded my head, looking to the ground.
"So, you wanted to explain yourself," I stated. "Go ahead."
"Um, I don't exactly know where to start," he scratched the back of his neck.
"Try from the beginning," I suggested, no emotion in my voice.
"Uh, so after I left you and Travis alone, I went to the kitchen to get a beer. Then, Dom showed up and she told me all of these things about you. I-I don't know if they were true but when she kissed me, her words really started to get to me. But I promise you, El, my intention was never to hurt you," he explained. Making me feel even worse than I already was.
"What did she say about me," I asked him.
"She just said a whole bunch of stupid stuff, El. It doesn't matter no-" I cut him off, beginning to grow angry.
"What did she say about me, Carl," I raised my voice.
"She said that you used to have a thing for Travis, but it was just a 'phase'," he made air quotations as he said the word 'phase'. "She said you would talk about him all the time and you eventually got over him. She said that you did the same to me. You liked me before I went off to juvie, but eventually got over me. Like I was just a phase. She said that I deserve someone who truly cares about me. When I asked her who... that's when she kissed me." I felt a single tear fall on my cheek. I quickly wiped it away.
"And you believe everything she said," I asked him.
"It all made sense to me. Why you would push me away and play hard to get. Why you replaced me with Tucker and pretended to date Travis. It just made so much sense," he answered.
"None of that is true," I stated.
"I know. I know that now. There's was a small part of me that was telling me that it was all a lie but-"
"But you believed her anyway. You kissed her anyway," I answered for him. "Because she's so much prettier than me and she has a nicer body than I do and she can make you feel better about yourself, right?" By this time I wasn't sitting any longer. I was standing right it front of Carl, fighting back tears.
"What," he asked. "What are you talking about? That's bullshit."
"Is it really," I sarcastically asked. "You were hitting on her from the beginning. Tell me how that's bullshit, Carl."
"It's bullshit because you are so much better than her in every way. She can't even compare to you, Noel. You are intelligent, hilarious, and downright beautiful. You're beautiful in every way possible. There's no one on this earth more beautiful or better than you are. No one. And even if there was, I would still only love you because you're Noel. You're my bestfriend since I was still in diapers. Noel, I love you more than anything and anyone in this whole world and nothing can or could ever change that."
I'm not even fighting back tears anymore. I can't help it. His words made me feel special and so much better about myself. But, I still don't understand one thing.
"Then, why would you believe her," I asked, wiping a few tears away.
"Because I thought it all made sense. In my head, you're way too good for me and I don't deserve you at all. I don't even know why you love me as much as you do."
"Carl, I've loved you since before I even knew what love is and before we ever kissed. Ever. But, you were always so blind. You never saw that. You never knew why I was so upset when you said that you were in love with Bonnie or when you made out with Holly. It was always because I love you."
"Noel..."
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a/n: uh oh cliff hanger 😝😝
btw im still working on chapter 18 and im soooo stuck. im having such writers block.