Patrick
It was family night at the Bowman household and since I was practically part of the family I of course was in attendance.
Danielle and I arrive at 5 sharp with food in hand. It was pot luck and game night so I'm sure they could use the green bean casserole and pies we brought to feed the masses.
We set the food on the counter and head into the living room. She goes to sit next to her dad and I let them catch up for a little. It's been weird since he kind of was brought back to life around Christmas, but all she wanted was her dad back. He was getting help but he was still afraid to be involved in her life because he feels like he's going to mess it up. I mean, I get it. It's a sticky situation and he is doing what he feels is best for her. But she misses him so much, she just wants him to be there for her and I don't think I can handle whatever would happen if he was to let her down again.
After we all get settled in Stan brings out a new game and we all kind of questionably look around.
"Headbands... what's that" Danny asks.
"It's fun, I promise. Everyone puts a headband on their head and a card. We give hints as to what it is without saying the word. Then you have to guess what it is" he explains.
"Ohhh I'm so gonna kick everyone's butt" Suzanne claims and we all laugh.
We play that for hours laughing so hard our stomachs hurt. At one point Scotty was a hockey stick and he didn't figure it out in time. I should be concerned about that, but I wasn't.
Finally it was time to eat and we make our plates before sitting in the living room where we see fit. Most of us sat on the floor, some on the couches and some brought in chairs. But I always eat with Will and Cam so they aren't alone and everyone kind of joins in.
"Guess what" Will starts as he moves some corn around his plate.
"What is it buddy" I ask.
"I'm going to be in hockey next year" he exclaims excitedly.
"Really! No way" I smile.
"Yes way! And I'm going to be really good just like you" he claims.
"Should I be worried about you taking my spot" I joke.
"Not yet" he shrugs and I laugh. How great would it be if he played for his dads team. That would be so cool.
After dinner Danny and Suzanne either hide in the kitchen from all of the boys or get dessert out. But I think it's the first one. So us boys chill in the living room just talking about whatever.
"Hey son, can I talk to you privately" Danny's dad David asks.
"Ummm sure" I say slowly.
"It's nothing bad I promise, walk with me" he says and I nod. We grab our coats and walk out the front door and head around the neighborhood. It was early February and still cold but we were bundled up really nicely.
"Are you going to yell at me for dating your daughter" I ask.
"No... unless there's a reason I should be yelling at you..." he trails off.
"No no, no reason" I assure him. He crutches slowly beside me as I just stare at the ground.
"I wanted to ask how Danny is doing" he claims.
"How she's doing" I reiterate.
"Yeah, with all of... well you know" he sighs.
"She's been taking it pretty hard, she's pretty emotional and doesn't like expressing it so she's been struggling. Usually she just writes and lets me read it later. But she's getting better with talking, realizing what she's feeling instead of just ignoring it" I explain.
"That's good. Is she... is she going to be okay" he asks and I stop.
"I think so. Are you" I ask and he chuckles dryly.
"I don't know. I'm so confused about everything right now. Even before the accident I wasn't sure what I was doing. I thought I had to fight because it was the only way I could cope with losing my wife. I was thousands of miles away from my problems, but I was also thousands of miles away from my solution. What I did to Danny, it isn't right. I put that kid through much, every time she looks at me I see so much hurt and I know it's my fault. She wants so much from me and I just can't give it to her. I wished she looked at me the way she looks at you. She loves you so much."
"I know, we show each other every day how much we mean to each other. But every time we talk about love she talks about you. About you and your wife and what could have been if you stayed. And she doesn't want the world from you, she just wants her dad back."
"And I can't give her that. I can't remember who that little girls father is, he's gone. He's been gone since her mom died, both physically and mentally. When I lost my wife... that was the lowest I had ever been at a moment. She was my best friend, she loved me more than I ever thought was possible, and I watched her die in my arms. I was devastated. So I decided that if she couldn't fight anymore that I would fight for her. And I would do that by fighting other evils because let's be honest, I'm no match for cancer. But I left my ten year old daughter on her own with my brother and I didn't even care. I just wanted out.
But then the letters started coming, and she was turning into her mother right before my eyes. She has no idea because she didn't really know her mom like I did, but they could be twins. I met her when I was your guys' age and she was so scared to be with me. I was about to go start fighting in the war and she was afraid that if she fell in love that with me she'll get hurt, but she fell anyway and I was the one who ended up getting hurt. But they talk just the same, the way they say things just sends shivers down your spine. I miss feeling like that, and I miss my baby girl but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do to make this better."
"You should have seen her when she thought she lost you, I've never seen a person so broken down before. I know you feel like you're not a part of her life, but there's nothing that girl wants more than to have her father back in her life. She put the necklace you got her in the grave and she tried to put that part of her away with it but she couldn't. She couldn't let you go no matter how hard she tried. I know that if I lost my dad I wouldn't be doing what I am. She needs you more than you know. And she doesn't need your money or for you to show her what to do, she's the smartest person in any room at any given moment. She wants you to fight for her like how you've been fighting all your life."
"But I don't want to let her down, not again at least."
"With all do respect sir... the only person you're letting down right now is yourself. You don't have to be this brave and almighty leader anymore, it's time you just be a dad" I say touching his shoulder. He smiles down at me and I finally don't feel like he was going to kick my ass. He might only have one leg but he's still intimidating as hell.
"Danny was right about you" he says and I raise a eyebrow.
"What does that mean" I wonder.
"You're a lot more compassionate and intelligent then you want people to believe" he smirks.
"I've had a pretty good teacher" I smile.
"So... to answer my question. Is my daughter going to be okay" he asks again.
"I think Danielle is going to be more than okay. She's the strongest person I have ever met. She can outthink anyone on the drop of a dime and she's making a name for herself" I explain.
"That's good" he nods.
"And speaking of names... how would you feel about your daughter one day taking my name" I ask and his smirk turns into a smile.
"I don't think my opinion matters much, her mind is made up" he claims.
"This is more for me, I want your blessing" I say. He stares at me as I stare back at him.
"Well in that case, there isn't anyone else in this world that would be better for my daughter than you. So you have my blessing" he says and now I smile.
"Thanks, that means a lot to me" I admit.
"Of course. You know, I asked my brother about Danny but he told me you would know the answers better than anyone. Do you mind if I ask some questions" he wonders.
"Heck yeah, my favorite subject" I laugh.
We slowly walk back to the house talking the whole time. I tell him her favorite books, favorite movies, favorite hockey players and how much she loves candles. I have to admit, he might have been a little shaken up but he really wanted to get to know his daughter and that made me happy.
"Where have you two been" Danny asks as we get back inside and I help him get his jacket off.
"I want making sure Patrick here was good enough for my baby girl" David jokes.
"Daaad" she whines and we laugh.
"I'm kidding, we just needed to talk" he claims.
"Is everything okay" she asks a bit worried.
"Yeah, everything is great" I smile. She gives me a kiss and pulls me into the living room for dessert. We snack on pie and ice cream and watch home videos and I was already feeling a part of the family.