Corrie closed the door to her room and leaned against it, drawing in a deep breath. Too much had happened in the past few days for her to comprehend: She had agreed to marry Edwin, faced his false accusations, watched him storm away from her, and was now left to await his verdict. She was completely at the mercy of the man she once thought she knew.
How unfair it was, she pondered, that she was always at the mercy of men. Until she moved to New York on her own, she had been at the mercy of her father. In New York, she was at the mercy of her professors, and even now, she was awaiting a man to determine her fate. Despite this rebellious, newfangled thought, Corrie still felt the familiar tug of duty that had led her to make most of the major decisions in her life. Duty had demanded that she wait until Christina was older to leave for school. Duty had demanded she return at the blink of an eye to care for her sister. Duty demanded she support her father even though she disagreed with everything he stood for. Duty demanded she stay by Edwin's side even though he had treated her like nothing more than a pretty doll.
Corrie curled up on her bed, pulling a pillow against her. A weight rested on her chest, compressing her until she felt scarcely able to breathe. She was stuck at an unsurpassable impasse. Her heart demanded that she break free of Edwin's possessive, maniacal hold over her, but pragmatism told her she would be ostracized and branded as a harlot. She would lose any chance of marrying again and could never return to her university except in incomparable shame.
The alternative was no more attractive. If she agreed to marry Edwin, she would no doubt be forced to relocate to New York City. She may be able to finish her degree, but she would remain distanced from her family and never speak to Dr. Benjamin again. She would be Edwin's paramour, displayed for all to see but none to hear.
As Corrie entertained her two choices in her head, she felt as if she were running in circles inside of a maze, unable to escape. Her heart was conflicted between duty and desire yet both led to destruction. Corrie opened her journal and began to write, pouring every emotion she felt until the pages ran with ink. She may not reach a consensus, but she could at least confess her own turmoil.
~~~~~
"Cornelia!"
A fist banged against the door. The voice screeched at her, and Corrie lifted her head from where it rested on the bed. Her journal was splayed before her, and ink stained her right hand where it had fallen lifeless on the wet pages. Corrie sat up and winced, her body stiff and sore. Her hair had come unpinned and fell across her face, and she brushed it aside with her clean hand.
"Cornelia Walker, you open the door this instance!"
Corrie recognized the voice as her mother's and groaned, closing her journal and stumbling to the door. She had fallen asleep and lost all track of time, but by now the entire town must be aware that Edwin had departed and left Corrie in disgrace.
With a grunt, Corrie opened the door and stared into the face of an irate, befuddled Anita. Anita's face was blotchy and she stormed into the room, shoving Corrie aside with her shoulder.
"What in the name of all that is holy is going on?" Anita demanded, turning on her heel to glare needles at her daughter. "Edwin left town in a tirade. Is the engagement off? What have you done?"
Corrie wilted under the harsh onslaught. What have I done? Of course the blame had fallen wholly on her; far be it from anyone to doubt Edwin, wealthy, generous, kind Edwin. He could do no wrong.
"I...I didn't do anything," Corrie murmured, her voice cracked.
She felt the weight return to her chest and she slumped to a seat on the bed and leaned against her hands, her fingers massaging her temples. She couldn't bear any more judgment; no one knew what was really going on, yet everyone was quick to pass censure.
"What do you mean you didn't do anything? He was angry for no reason? He's too good of a catch for you to trifle with him. He asked you to marry him after all, even at your age!" Anita berated.
Of course. She was lucky to have anyone of Edwin's status even glance twice at her, much less request her hand in marriage. Who was she to run off such a suitor?
"Mother, he...he left. I don't know what's going on."
"Are you still engaged?" Anita asked, aghast.
Air strangled in her windpipe and she struggled to speak. "I don't know."
"How can you not know? What happened, Cornelia?" she demanded, hands on her slender hips.
Corrie wetted her lips and gathered her courage. Perhaps her mother possessed a modicum of pity for her daughter, perhaps she would even empathize with her inescapable plight.
"He...he came to the doctor's office when I was visiting Christina. I was talking to Dr. Benjamin who was apologizing for being rude to Edwin, and Edwin stormed in like a lunatic. He said...he accused me of horrendous things."
Anita's brow darkened, but Corrie couldn't read her expression. "What did he say?"
"He accused me of cheating on him with the doctor," Corrie blurted out. "It's a baseless accusation. I've done nothing to dishonor him or our courtship. Then he yelled at Christina for being ill and for keeping me away from him."
Anita frowned. "You do spend an inordinate amount of time with that doctor, and Christina is the reason you're here."
Corrie stared at her mother disbelievingly. "But...but I didn't...how can you take his side? I've done nothing wrong!"
Resting a hand on her daughter's shoulder, Anita said, "Cornelia, darling, you should know by now that appearances are more important than reality. All that matters is that it seems like you have dishonored him."
"But I haven't! He's just upset that I don't want to return to New York," Corrie pleaded desperately.
I need someone to understand, just one person. But Anita was not that person.
"And why won't you? You could be married immediately and return to your studies. Isn't that what you want?"
The words lingered in the air between them, and Corrie was faced with the realization that she did not know what she wanted. Again the choice appeared before her. New York or Irvington. Her two homes. Edwin or her family and friends. Her heart had already made up its mind which it preferred, but her mind refused to submit.
"What's keeping you here in Irvington?" Anita pressed.
Everything. Nothing. The two competing voices in her head whispered. Corrie still didn't know to which voice she would listen.
~~~~~
Corrie's fingers mindlessly shuffled through the letters when her fingers caught on an envelope made of fine paper and embossed with a familiar seal. She instantly knew what it was; the first death had come to Irvington. Corrie checked the address and breathed a selfish sigh of relief, for she didn't recognize the name. No one she knew or loved had perished yet, but it was certainly coming. For a moment, her own struggles paled in comparison to the war.
Three days had passed since Edwin left Irvington, and she had heard nothing from him but far too much from the town gossips. Everyone was conjecturing about what had caused him to leave so abruptly, but no one suspected the truth. The few who had some inkling of his reasons were thoughtful enough to remain quiet.
Corrie had managed to busy herself with the post office and avoided the doctor's office except at times when she knew Dr. Benjamin would be out. She didn't need any more confusion to muddy the waters. She spent most of her time thoughtlessly organizing letters and trying to slow her submersion into despondency.
Corrie fingered the letter and finally slipped it into the appropriate bin with a sigh. She felt a wave of sympathy for the family, knowing they were the first but certainly not the last to face such tragedy. Everywhere she turned, both in her immediate surroundings and beyond, adversity was prevalent. When will it end?
"Cornelia Walker, put down that envelope! You're coming with me."
Corrie's gaze jerked to the door where Aunt Jack stood in rare form; she was coated in black from head to toe thanks to the munitions factory, wearing a pair of men's coveralls and a large men's shirt.
"Aunt Jack?"
"I said you're coming with me. Don't make me drag you!"
~~~~~
Guys, it's finally happening! Corrie's realizing what an idiot Edwin is! Stay tuned to see what happens next. Irvington or New York? Which will she choose? Don't forget to vote and comment.
In other news, I've published a new book entitled "The Intellect." It's a sci-fi/dystopian novel, the first in a trilogy. If you enjoy dystopian societies, fighting against the odds, personal turmoil, and a little romance, check it out on my page! I'm really excited about this story and I'd love to hear what you think.
I also just started an Awards book, so if you have a novel or story, be sure to enter it in the Discourse Awards for a chance at some pretty awesome prizes.
~ Hannah