"Failure only comes if you don't try at all."
~unknown
Rosè yawned as she lifted up from her bed slowly, patting against her head as she felt through her scarf to make sure that it was still in place. Her eyes lingered around the room for a bit before she looked down at her phone for the time. It was 7:30AM and her alarm was set to go off at eight sharp so she turned it off then got up and tiptoed to the bathroom from out her room, Rozai trailing behind her as always.
When she got inside, she took a light shower. She hadn't had a wet dream since Kai and her little scandal on the beach. After he basically told her what it was, Rosè prayed about it and put herself straight back on recovery avenue.
She walked out in nothing but a towel as she scrolled her Twitter, once again stalking Kai's timeline. Her heart was aching when she saw the #baetweet and the picture of Kai and Lotus laid up in his very familiar bed. He had really played her over this trip and she felt it deeply. She swallowed hard as she struggled to hold back tears until it was impossible to hold them at all. She leaned against the wall, feeling a little dizzy as the tears and emotions started overflowing. Her chest felt as if three hundred pound weights were dropped on her heart.
Reality had set in, she lost her man.
Her heart was torn and she figured maybe this was how Kai felt when she left him years ago. It hurt so bad especially since she had hope. But now, all of that hope was crushed by a tweet.
"What's wrong?" Rosè heard, making her look up at her sister. She had fresh tears pooling in her eyes before she wiped them away and smiled softly even though she couldn't hide her pain this time causing the smile to fold into a deep frown as she collapsed into her arms. "Why are you crying? Rosè, whats wrong?"
"I... I don't know anymore." She sniffled, laughing a little as she wiped her face. "I just feel... hurt. I'm just hurt."
"What happened?" Amora asked, rubbing her back as she held her.
"I'm stupid." Rosè said, shaking her head. "I don't even know why I'm crying because I knew he wasn't gonna leave her. I was just hopeful."
Amora then already knew what was going on. Jewelle had told her about Kai popping up on the trip with a new girl and how Rosè was acting like she didn't care. Amora knew better though and from the looks of things, it was hitting her way harder than she expected. She had never seen her big sister so broken before, not even when their father died years ago.
"Don't talk down on yourself for that nigga. You always bounce back, always." Amora told her. "He ain't nothin' to be all down bad for."
Rosè let her words sink in, adjusting her towel a little bit. "I know you're right... it just hurts."
"It's always gon' hurt, that's love. Look how long it took for me to get over Ray ass and he still be blowing me up. Whatever happened, I don't need to know but it happened somewhere out the states so let that shit stay there, sis. Don't bring that hurt here, put your head up like you always told me and don't let that nigga see you down!" Amora lectured, smiling down at her sister as she lifted her from the floor.
Rosè nodded, knowing her little sister was telling her no wrong. "You're right, you are."
"I know I'm right. I've been through this too many times." Amora said, shaking her head. "I'm finally moving on and it feels so good."
Rosè wiped her face, nodding. "Really? Do I get to meet him or you still mad at me?" She asked.
"Uh, its complicated so... not just yet but in the future we will definitely see." Amora told her. "Now, don't you got work? Promotion, right?"
"Yeah, you're right. Let me get ready." Rosè told her before exhaling and picking her phone up from the ground. When she looked at the screen she saw that it was cracked so she huffed and went into her room.
She proceeded with getting dressed even though she was still hurt after Amora's words. There was nothing she could hear that would keep her up and running when she was alone so she would have to keep herself around people at all costs. If this meant staying out at a ridiculous time then she would gladly do so to get over the hurt that Kai had just put on her.
***
"Why are you being so sneaky about everything lately? Like ever since we got back you've been out more and shit." Jewelle said, looking over to Justice as he typed on his phone.
Justice looked over his shoulder at her and sighed. "Jewelle, chill out, man. You overthinking shit, for real. Classes are back in so you already know we can't be under each other twenty-four-seven like we used to. Don't make it seem like I'm cheating on you or some shit like that 'cause you really know better."
Jewelle rolled her eyes, looking down at her phone as she read the text from Capri, her best friend who she hadn't seen in so long due to her leaving the state for college. "So, let me read this to you then, its from Capri: girl, ask Justice if he talked to Drew because he told me they were at a party last night and that's the last I heard from him and I'm starting to worry because he's not answering my calls."
Justice shook his head, feeling caught up. "It wasn't like that." He told her. "Are you done?"
"Ugh! You are such a fuckin' liar, stupid idiot!" Jewelle growled before running towards him and sticking her finger in his face. "Tell me the truth and you better tell me now because I swear to god!"
"Shut up, Jewelle, ain't nobody fuckin' cheating on you, bro! We been together for six years! I would never do no shit to you like that!" Justice yelled at the top of his lungs as he looked down at Jewelle. He could see her getting ready to cry and his face weakened at the sight. "No, J. Don't cry, man. I promise you I'm not fuckin' with nobody else. You're more than enough for me, girl."
"So why are you lying about where you're at?" Jewelle asked, tears falling down her cheeks as she struggled to hold her ground. "Just tell me the truth, Justice."
He stared down at her for a long time, trying to see if he wanted to tell her the absolute truth. He didn't want to let her down so it was way harder than he would've ever thought it to be. His mouth just wouldn't form the words he needed to tell her so he shook his head and pulled her in for a hug.
"It's nothin', J. I just didn't want you to trip." He told her, feeling her get weak in his arms. "And I only saw Drew for a lil' minute at the party, I just stopped by to give something to my boy, Jeffrey. I wasn't even there long."
Jewelle nodded, trusting him with everything that she had because this was a boy she had watched grow from nothing to something and she knew that he wouldn't just lie to her like that. She just knew.
"Okay, Justice." She mumbled into his chest.
He pulled away and looked down at her face, caressing her cheek as he wiped her tears away. "I thought you was gon' man up and stop crying all the time like a baby?" He asked, chuckling a little. "I love you, girl."
Jewelle smiled pass her red eyes and held her hands over his. "I love you more, boy."
"Good morning, sleepy head. You finally up?" Lotus called out to Kai as she looked over her shoulder to him, her phone in her hands as usual. Kai yawned as he gave her a nod. "You slept good?"
"Yeah, it was straight. How long you been up?" He asked her, squinting his eyes a little at her.
"Well, you pushed me off the bed at like six and I couldn't get back to sleep after that so, six." She told him with a chuckle, shaking her head.
"My bad." He said, calmly, sitting up. "Its a bad habit, honestly."
Lotus shook her head, crawling to him and giving him a peck on the lips. "It's fine." She told him before getting up.
She wore one of his tees that seemed to look like a dress on her instead as she walked out of the room. Kai watched her until she disappeared before he got up and went to the bathroom to do his morning routine of washing up, brushing his teeth, then coming out for breakfast.
When he walked downstairs, Lotus was over by the stove just then turning it on.
"You making breakfast?" Kai asked rhetorically as he chuckled a little bit.
"What's it look like? I called in late for you today so you getting a quick breakfast, maybe some head, then I gotta go." She said, smiling.
Kai shrugged, hearing the chain of Cartier as he started to walk out of the back. "That's fine with me— hey, boy, what's up, my man?" He called out to Cartier as he trotted over to him.
"Big ass dog." Lotus said, snorting a little. "I don't like big dogs, I swear, I'm more of a cat person. They take care of themselves and they aren't all routy and shit."
"Does Cartier look routy to you?" Kaivar asked, shaking his head slightly. "She's a cat person, she wouldn't understand."
"You excited for the grand opening tonight?" Lotus asked as she walked to the fridge to get some bacon and eggs out. "I got some real big people coming in to see what you're about— business owners, retail, a few people that are real popular in the industry so... you better show out tonight, baby. They charge a lot."
Kai nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready. Stephon and his lady down there now setting it up. They want it to be a surprise for me so I'm not really tripping on it for real." He said, calmly.
"Yeah, I'm supposed to go over there after the show. Speaking of, you invited Rosè and them, right?" Lotus asked, looking over her shoulder.
"Yeah but I don't really know if they're coming. Jewelle is in school and me and Rosè don't normally kick it like that." He told her, rubbing Cartier's stomach once he flipped over. "Why?"
"I wanted to talk to you about Rosè." She said.
Kai could feel himself tightening up a little so he relaxed himself quickly. "Okay, what about her?" He asked.
"Do you still have feelings for her?" Lotus asked, not sounding a bit triggered or bothered. She asked as if it was really just a question she wanted an answer to.
"Nah, me and her are over that bridge." He told her, almost even believing himself for a second.
"How'd y'all break up?"
Kaivar was quiet for a bit, not trying to go too much into detail but also trying not to be so vague with her. "She broke up with me because of one of my exes was suing her— that effected her job a lot, she aborted our baby—"
"Wait? There was a baby?" Lotus asked, looking over at him. After he nodded, she continued with the questions. "And she aborted it? How long were y'all together?"
"Three months, and this was all three years ago." He told her with a shrug.
Lotus nodded then shrugged too. "And you're completely over her?"
"Yeah, girl." Kai lied. How do you tell your next you're not over your ex? You don't. "Anyway, you got any crazy niggas I gotta worry— well, pretend to worry about?"
"No, not at all. I don't date crazy niggas." Lotus told him with a slight chuckle. "If I feel you crazy then I'm not fuckin' with it."
"Well you must not feel the crazy that I am." Kai told him, snorting a little.
Lotus looked back at him, putting the bacon and eggs on a plate. "Boy, please. I've seen worse. You don't scare me, Mr. Kai."
Kai chuckled lightly, nodding his head. "Good."
***
Rosè pulled out the driveway after returning from her morning run with Zaida, taking another shower, and getting ready to go to work. She turned on her favorite radio station featuring Dash and Lotus, ready to tune in for whatever topic they had in store for her.
"Good morning everybody, Lotus was a little late with us today so we sat with Kingsley Stone on his new book. Now, she's in and we're ready to start our topic of today. Lotus, do you wanna tell us what that is?" Dash said over the radio.
Lotus laughed lowly into the microphone, sounding a bit seductive as she continued. "I was talking with my lil' friend as Dash likes to call him and he told me about a story with his ex where it basically ended in her aborting their child—"
"Bitch." Rosè could feel her chest boiling almost instantly because she knew this was being directed at her.
"So the topic of today is abortion: is it good? is it bad—"
"Is it your fuckin' business, bitch!?" Rosè yelled at the radio as she tried to avoid stomping on the gas. "Are you fuckin' serious, Kaivar?"
"What how do you feel about it?" Dash asked.
"I personally feel that abortion is a course that should only be taken if necessary. Honey, avoiding an ex is not abortion necessary." Lotus told her. "People should—"
Rosè hurried and turned the station off, tuning into another so that she could calm herself down. Every speck of hurt she felt before was intensified and replaced with anger, regret, then betrayal. Everything she thought she was hurt over doubled back into a frenzy as she struggled to find the good in their intentions. Lotus didn't know her and didn't know the whole story enough to even speak on. It was worse that she took it to the public station to tell her business to anyone that listened. It was bullshit.
Of course, all of her anger recoiled back to Kai who was the main source of where she felt comfortable enough to even spill her "tea".
But Rosè had to let it go. If this was the game he wanted to play at twenty-eight years old, she was going to let him play this one by himself. However, she was still going to be petty because petty didn't have an age limit.