First of all: Happy birthday to Max. He was having a trashy year and I'm so happy that he won this race.
I've decided to write this one not only for Max's fans, but also for those who have lack of confidence. You're not alone, and more than anything even if you're having a hard time, just believe in yourself because you can do the impossible. And don't do things if you feel pressured to. Do it only if it makes you happy. I love you.
Second: I'm not back. Yet
** I used the name Esmee for some reason. I still don't know why. **
Enjoy √❤
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Okay YN, just breath, breath and take the robe off. I sighed closing my eyes opening the middle bottom of my bath robe. Ugh I couldn't do it.
"Esmee, I can't do this!" I turn around to my best friend who smirked shaking her head. "I can't do this!"
"You can't do what?" She raised an eyebrow giving her best to sound serious but drastically failing. "It's just a fantasie to your boyfriend, he deserves it." She winks making me roll my eyes.
"I can't wear... this!" I look myself up and down in the mirror. "I'm naked! "
"Woman, that the purpose of sex!" She reasons with me. "You need to be naked to do it."
"But Maxie and I... we never..."
"Never what? Tried fantasies? Come on you've been together for 12 months now." She chuckled. "The sex is probably wild right now. "My cheeks burned with those words.
"It's not like that!" I tried to explain."We didn't made a lot of progress in THIS area." My best friend laughed.
"Right, you still training your positions and all that stuff. I get it. "
"Jesus no! I'm still a virgin! We never had sex before!" I felt my cheeks turning red when my best friend's eyes went wide."Don't look at me like that Esmee."
"How you want me to look at you? One year dating and you two never had sex? How's that possible?"
"I don't know. You know I have lack of confidence."
"Yes but did you thought about his needs? Your own needs? YN you're beautiful, you have an absolutely beautiful body and Max is absolutely loco about you. That child would die for you. Did you at least talked to him?"
"Ehm... Not really. " I admitted embarrassed with myself.
"WHAT? IS THIS REAL? HE NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO THIS?"
"Calm down okay? He told me once and whenever I felt secure and ready to do it I just needed to tell him."
"So after a year you still don't feel ready and secure? "
"You're making me feel guilty."
"YN I don't wanna make you feel bad or something but I know how much you love Max, and I know you're insecure but at the same time you and him love each other and you saw how much he loves having you around, introducing you to all his friends it only shows that he loves you the way you are. He doesn't need you to be someone else. You should at least try this to him and yourself."
"I know, I know."
"And thanks to your positivism during his tough time look what he achieved today! Another race win. "
"In my favorite circuit."
"After turning 20." Esmee reminds me and I chuckle. "And almost in your dating anniversary."
"Alright. I get it, I get it. I'm gonna do it."
"You sure you're ready?"
"No. And this is Max. Jesus! "I frown shaking my head.
"Just relax. Here's what you're going to do."
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I wore the fantasie that consisted in only a pair of underwear and a top with the bath robe covering all above. I swallowed hard feeling uncomfortable and only thinking about making Max happy, that was the goal. He deserved this.
I swallowed hard when I heard the door click meaning that he was home. I took a long ass sip of my water and went walking slow to the living room where Max was taking his shoes off.
"Good night. " I tried to sound more natural leaning on the wall and slowly opening the bath robe. Max swallowed hard looking me up and down and it only made me uncomfortable.
"You're here!"
"For you."
"For me." He bite his lip and made me sigh deep. I was feeling absolutely different and I didn't understand why. "Baby, you're okay?"
"Yes..." I walked slowly to him and quickly kissed his cheek trailing kisses down his neck closing the gap between us.
"Okay, hold up." He held both my hands and looked inside my eyes. In that moment I knew he already felt how uncomfortable I was besides what I was doing. "YN, what's going on?" He looked serious at me. "And please be real, no lying."
"What are you talking about? It's nothing I just wanted to surprise you. It's that wrong?"
"You're feeling uncomfortable with yourself. I know you very well. And don't try to deny it. I thought we we're clear about this."
"Max you deserve this. I wanna do this for you. I mean we've been together for almost a year and I've been doing this to you."
"But princess you also deserve this. You shouldn't feel pressured to do something you're not okay about. I love you, I adore you in ever possible way and I just want you to be happy. I'm happy with you, you make me stronger. And even though I want this badly I want you to want it too, I want you to feel ready and comfortable to do it with me. YN, I'm crazy about you."
"I love you so much." I admit. He closes my robe while we lovingly look at each other. He kisses my temple and hugs me tight.
"What if we do something for dinner together and watch a movie?"
"Shouldn't we celebrate your second victory in F1 and your birthday?"
"Don't forget our anniversary on Tuesday." He smirkes. "This is our celebration honey. There's no better place than home. You're my home." I pecked his lips. "Wear something comfy. Just go." He winks and I smile going upstairs to wear one of his huge shirts and a comfy pair of pants.
That moment, looking at myself it was like I was glowing. I felt happier and somehow a bit more confident. In that moment it was like Max reminded me of everything that was really important and suddenly I wanted to do it. I wanted Max to do it. I was ready for him. Don't ask me how. I just knew and felt it.
"Is lasagna good for you baby?" He asks when I go downstairs.
"You're cheating your diet." I smile. He was in such a good mood.
"I cheat my diet every time I kiss your lips." He smiles wiggling his eyebrows.
"You're calling me fat Verstappen?"
"I'm calling you too sweet to handle." I blush and he winks.
"Max..." I start speaking and automatic I stop cutting the tomatoes. "I wanna do this. I wanna have sex with you." I almost whispered the last part. "And I'm sure. I'm more than sure." He nod a bit nervous.
"Just let it happen. I don't wanna push you, okay? " I nod and he smiles. "Good. Now, this is all done here. I'm just going to take a quick shower and I'll be here in a min." He pecks my lips and I nod.
From that moment behind it would be hard to explain everything that happened but it did... It did...
After cleaning the kitchen I've felt my mouth dry. It was cold in Monaco, but it was a pretty good temperature. I was just thinking bout how life was crazy but good when I felt Max's kisses down my neck. I've felt goosebumps all over my body and just decided to turn around and face a shirtless and bit wet Max. His well defined abdomen never failed to impress me, I loved his smile but his body. That was other thing. I felt his hands lovingly cupping my cheeks and at the same time his body hardly pressed against mine making me lean in the wall. I couldn't avoid looking inside those blue adorable now sexy eyes when he kissed me. Steamy, dreamy, hot and a bit agressive. My legs we're trembling hard with that kiss. His hands quickly went down my neck exploring each part until I felt him in my breasts and my butt making me feel a bit sweaty. Our bodies pressed against each other and my breathing failing when he carried me effortless and wrapped my legs around his waist.
He didn't stop kissing me while carrying me to his bedroom. I was somehow nervous but also I wanted that really bad. I saw a lovingly look on his eyes when he slowly placed me on his bed. In his eyes I could see and feel clear desire. I was afraid, but also feeling an unique desire.
"You're so beautiful..." He whispers making me smile. "I love you more than anything in this world." He whispered trailing kisses down my neck.
"Today, I'm yours..." I whisper when he leans his forehead on mine while taking off my shirt. "Only yours."
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Hi :*