"My English teacher must want me or something," Jake said as we boarded the train.
"I doubt that, Jake. I highly doubt that your English teacher wants you," Oliver rolled his eyes.
"Why does your English teacher want you?" I laughed.
"She gave me an A on my essay," Jake replied.
"So?" Jai raised an eyebrow.
"I just typed out Jay-Z lyrics and handed them in," Jake explained.
We all burst out laughing. Well, all except for Oliver who complained about 'the schooling system these days'.
We eventually got off the train and entered the street fair. It was held on the widest road, and although it was only early, the road was packed. There were stalls lining the road, selling everything from tacos to soap. Street performers were everywhere! There were fire eaters, people on stilts and even clowns. There were also carnival rides including a ferris wheel and roller-coaster. A firework display was scheduled for after sunset, which was about three hours away.
I attempted to spot Josie through the crowd, but it was too densely packed. I could barely see over the people in front of me, let alone everyone else.
I walked with the boys to the taco stand where they ordered, and I texted Josie.
New Message.
To: Josie.
Where are you??
Incoming Message.
From: Josie.
Meet you at the toilets near the fairy floss stand in 5.
"Hey guys, I'm just gonna go pee," I said, slowly backing towards the toilet block.
"Yeah, okay. We'll meet you at the Cha-Cha when you're done?"
"Sounds good."
I attempted to run but disguise it as a walk so I didn't seem too suspicious. Needless to say, I looked like a demonic mental patient with a spinal injury.
When I finally arrived in the bathroom, Josie greeted me.
"Hey. Here's your clothes," she said as she handed me the belongings I asked for. "You don't own any heels so I got you some really girly flats."
"That'll do," I smiled, shoving everything in my bag. "Thanks again, Josie."
"You. Owe. Me. Big-Time."
Then Josie left and I was confronted with the choice of the ladies or men's toilets. On one hand, if I go into the ladies dressed as a boy, they'll think I'm a perv. On the other, if I go into the men's and come out as a lady, they'll think I'm a tranny. But then again, if I go into the men's, I'll see them peeing and that is NOT an image I want!
I shook my head and shuddered as I peered into the ladies bathroom. It was empty, so I walked in and went into a cubicle. I got changed out of my boy clothes and into my girl clothes which consisted of skinny jeans, and a blue tank top. I unfastened my fake chest - boy that thing is heavy! - and put on my converses. I was leaving my girly flats in case of emergency.
I then sprinted out of the bathroom and immediately found Josie and the others.
"Hey!" I smiled.
"'Sup," Josie said.
"Yo bitch," Dash nodded.
"Hi Dana," Matt smiled before kissing me. "I'm so glad you didn't come as Ryder."
"Wouldn't dream of it," I smiled guiltily.
"So what do you want to do first?" I jumped excitedly - yet awkwardly.
"Roller-coaster?" Matt asked.
"You know it!" Dash yelled, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards 'The Cyclone'.
'The Cyclone' was one of the largest portable roller-coasters in the southern-hemisphere. It consisted of three loop-the-loops and reached speeds of one-hundred and eighty kilometers an hour. I was so excited to go on this ride!
We lined up, which took about fifteen minutes due to the masses of people. Luckily, we came early.
There were four to a carriage so we all sat together. I was between Matt and Josie.
We began our ascent into chaos as we were pulled slowly up to the highest point in the roller-coaster, all the while Josie was closing her eyes tight and saying Hail Mary's. We lingered at the top for an agonizing five seconds and then let go. We sped down the tracks faster than any other roller-coaster I've been on. As we hit the three loop-the-loops, we all screamed: Matt and I in enjoyment, Josie in utter terror and Dash because she could. Following that was a blur filled with colour, screaming, sharp turns and speed.
When we finally finished, Matt and I sat in the seats for a while longer, trying to regain feeling in our legs, Dash jumped out of the carriage, screaming "AGAIN! AGAIN!" like a toddler and Josie sprinted into the nearby garden and vomited like there was no tomorrow, emptying all vital and non-vital fluids from her body.
"You right?" I asked, walking over to her.
"Yeah, I'm fi-" Josie managed to say before she turned away and vomited even more. "Okay, maybe not."
"Here, I'll take you to the bathroom," I suggested, pulling Josie with me. "We'll catch up with you later."
"Thanks, Dana," Josie smiled weakly.
When we got to the toilets, I ushered Josie to the sink. The ladies room was packed. I mean, seriously, why do these many people need to shit at the same time?
"Oi! This chick here just went on The Cyclone. She is now vomiting and let me tell you, she sprays!" I announced.
All the people waiting vanished with grunts of "How rude", "Disgusting! Absolutely disgusting!" or "This shirt is new! I canNOT get vomit on it!"
"Thanks Dana," Josie said and then vomited. Again.
"Geez! You got anything left in there!?" I exclaimed.
"I don't thi-" Vomit.
"Wow. How much did you drink beforehand!?"
Vomit. "Apparently, a lot."
When Josie had gained control of herself and stopped vomiting, I slipped into the cubicle and changed into my boy clothes - a short sleeved shirt and track pants - and fastened my chest.
"If they ask, tell them that when I saw you vomiting, I started to vomit too and I'll meet them when I'm done," I winked at Josie who nodded and walked back outside.
I waited a few minutes before walking outside as well. I saw the vending machine with the smallest line and bought two jumbo bags of M&Ms.
I. Am. A. Genius.
The boys were almost at the front of the line for the Cha-Cha, a ride in which people sit in spinning cars and experience the illusion that they will crash into other suspended, spinning cars.
"What took you so long?" Sam asked.
"We thought you fell in!" Jai added.
"Calm down guys. I was just being an awesome friend," I produced the M&Ms, "And the line took forever."
"I love you man!" Jake bear-hugged me and grabbed the M&Ms.
•••
After many sort-of successful switches, we hit a bump in the road. I was dressed as Ryder and we were walking towards the fairy floss cart.
"Hey, Ryder! Isn't that Dash and Josie over there?" Sam asked pointing to Dash, Josie and Matt.
"Uh, no. No, it's not," I said.
"Yeah it is. We should go say hello," Sam suggested.
"That's a great idea!" Jai yelled, grabbing my arm and dragging me against my protests towards them.
"Hey!" Sam said when we reached the trio.
"Hi," Dash and Josie greeted.
Matt stared, wide-eyed at me.
Shit.
"Hey, uh, Ryder? Can I talk to you for a sec?" He said, motioning me over while Sam introduced them.
We sat on the park bench away from the gang.
"Matt, I'm sor-" I started.
"Dana," he said. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was sort-of last minute. They dragged me along; I even pretended to have synchronized swimming tryouts! I swear I did everything I could!" I explained.
"But Dana, why didn't you just tell me? I mean, I would've been kinda bummed that you were going to be Ryder but I could've survived."
"I guess, I just didn't want you to have to fight my battles for me."
"I'm not going to fight them for you, I'm going to fight them with you. Dana, I love you and don't you ever forget that I will ALWAYS support you."
"Matt, if I wasn't dressed as a boy, I'd kiss you!" I smiled.
"Homophobic, are we?"
"No, you're my sister's girlfriend and I go out with Dash," I winked.
"Alright," he laughed. "But what are we going to do about our Ryder situation?"
"I thought this might happen. I'm prepared," I winked and then dragged Matt back to the group.
"So, guys, I've actually, uh, gotta go and um, pick up my brother? Yes, yes, I have to pick up my brother from footy training. So I'll see you later," I announced to the group.
A chorus of goodbyes were heard before I slipped away, and was lost in the crowd. I ran to a bathroom as soon as I was out of sight of the group.
The plan was to make me look as different to Ryder as I possibly could and that meant making me look more girly. Fantastic (note the sarcasm).
I threw off my shirt and trackpants and unclipped my chest. I put on a black miniskirt, sheer stockings, my girly flats and a red low-cut tank top. Then I went to the mirror and attached the clip-on hair extensions I asked Josie to bring. I contemplated wearing make-up to seal the deal but that would just make me look like a hooker.
Overall, I looked... weird? It was like I was modeling clothes, not wearing them. At least I had my hair back. Kind of.
I picked up my bag and ran back outside, hoping to catch everyone before they got too far away. Luckily, they were sitting on the grass, eating ice-creams.
"I'm back!" I yelled, running and jumping into the middle of the circle they had made.
"You look beautiful," Matt whispered in my ear.
"It's all part of the plan," I whispered back.
"Oh, hey guys," I said, addressing the Mayfield boys. "When did you get here?"
"Not too long ago. We spotted your friends and decided to come over. Have you met everyone?" Sam asked.
"I don't think I have," I replied.
"Oliver, Jake and Jai," he pointed them out. "Meet Ryder's sister, Dana."
"Hi guys," I waved.
"Well, this is all very moving and all, but I bought you an ice-cream and it's melting all down my arm," Dash butted in.
"Caramel?" I asked.
"You know it," she winked, handing me the ice-cream which I devoured in record time - quite easy seeing as most of its contents were currently dripping down Dash's arm.
"So," Josie said. "Where do you see yourselves in ten years?"
Typical Josie. Not any 'how are you?'s or 'what have you been up to recently?'s. No, Josie gets to the topics that concern her.
"Well, when I finish high-school, I'm going to university to study law and then hopefully, I'll become a solicitor in my father's business," Oliver explained.
"I'll become a solicitor in my father's business," Jake mocked. "You little over-achiever. Always have a plan for the future. Live a little!"
"Well, I think it's wonderful!" Josie told Oliver. "And a very smart decision."
"Enough of this future shit, I'm going on the bumper cars!" Dash announced and got up, Sam running to catch up with her, prompting us all to follow.
Sam and Dash talked, Matt talked with the other boys and I talked to Josie.
"You like him," I teased.
"I only just met him!" Josie snapped back.
"Ha! The fact you know who I'm talking about is proof enough!"
"You are impossible," Josie groaned.
"Why won't you tell me?"
"Because my heart stays firmly away from my sleeve!"
"But what if it didn't?"
"Then- hypothetically of course- I'd say that maybe I liked him just a bit."
"I knew it! I knew it!" I yelled.
"What do you know?" Sam asked.
I glanced at Josie.
"If you tell, I'll tell your secret," Josie warned.
The temptation!
"If you tell my secret, I'll go to jail and I'll drag you down with me," I told her.
"What the fuck is your secret?" Sam looked at me, wide-eyed.
"I'll tell you on my death-bed," I nodded.
"Don't tell or no more favours," Josie said.
Must. Tell. Someone.
"If you tell my secret, I won't need any more favours," I reminded her.
"Don't tell, or I will send Dash on you!"
"Whoa, okay, okay. I won't tell!" I surrendered.
"What's so bad about Dash?" Sam asked.
"She's a maniac basically," Josie informed him.
"Last person we sent Dash on, ended up on the top of a power pole wearing nothing but his shoes," I added.
"Ho-ly shit," Sam remarked.
"Shotee the red one!" Dash yelled running towards the red bumper car.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the carnie said, holding Dash back. "We beens having some problems with the cars so yous are all gonna hafta pair up if yous wanna go together."
"Fine!" Dash growled, turned around and grabbed the closest person to her which just so happened to be Jake.
I had a plan. Seeing Matt was talking and laughing with Jai, I decided they could go together and I grabbed Sam and hit the blue car. We jumped in and seat-belted up while hearing Dash's cried of "Seatbelts are for pussies!" Jai and Matt got into the green car next to us which only left two other people to pair up. Josie and Oliver.
Upon seeing that, Sam said to me, "You are a freakin' genius!"
"You noticed it as well?" I asked.
"I think we all did. Oliver is so in awe, it's ridiculous!"
"Oliver? I was talking about Josie."
"Thats funny," Sam smiled. "I guess we must be matchmakers then!"
"Absolutely," I nodded, watching Oliver let Josie choose which car, then Josie telling him there was only one left to choose from.
"You know, you're not too bad," Sam smiled.
"Uh, duh! Why would you be friends with me if I wasn't?"
"Friends?" Sam joked. "I don't think we're friends!"
"Uh, yeah we are!" I corrected, not realising he was kidding. "Why did you crash tackle me, then? Do you just do that to random strangers? I think not!"
"When did I crash tackle you?" he asked, confused.
"Last night, don't you remember? You were trying to convince me to ditch synchro-swimming for the street fair."
How can he not remember? It was last night, for God's sake. Does he have short term memory loss? Oh no! What if he does?
"I wasn't with you last night, I was with Ryder," Sam told me.
"I am R-"
Wait! Rewind! I glanced down at myself quickly and noticed that I was Dana, not Ryder. I banged my head multiple times into the steering wheel. Each bang was a new word:
How
Could
I
Be
So
Stupid?
I
Am
Royally
Fucked!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"Dana, you wanna tell me what's going on?" Sam said, concern etched in his face.
"Do I have to?" I groaned.
"I'm going to get it out of you one way or another," he confessed.
I contemplated this. I mean, if I told him, maybe he would be nice to me and help me keep the secret. On the other hand, he could rat me out. I sighed. I guess if he did grass on me, I had an army of people ready to back me up. Life. Why must you be so hard?
"Okay, it all started when-" I began.
I was cut off by pop music blaring from the speakers around me, signaling that the ride had started. We began moving and I turned to Sam to continue my story.
"So last year-"
"What?" he yelled. "I can't hear you! The music!"
"I'll tell you later, okay?" I yelled.
"Okay."
At this point in time, all I could think of was 'you got some splainin to do!' and boy, was that correct!
--------------
Authors Note:
»I don't know if I've used too much Oz slang, so if anyone doesn't know what something means, feel free to ask!
» I decided I will share the glory that is Jenna Marbles ----->
»Any silent readers out there, can I get a whoop whoop?
X
Katie.