day 10 ➜ a letter to someone I don't talk to as much as I used to
Dear Jaime,
When you started to talk to me less, I should've just kept speaking to you, even if you wouldn't listen. I should've. Because I don't know how you got involved in so much scary bullshit at such a young age and maybe you wouldn't have if I was there.
When was it? Year 10? Or was it Year 9? When word on the street was, you were a dealer.
I knew you'd seen Christine from when we'd spend our after school time in the park across from St Andrew's, only I thought you didn't care. You were done with me, so I never would have guessed you'd go after her. If it was as a potential customer or a love interest for yourself, I'll never know why you two started talking, or if your intentions with her weren't to spite me, but did it have to be her?
I knew you were interested in Christine by the middle of Year 12 because by then the sixth form common room was buzzing with gossip and rumours. That you, Jaime De La Rosa, liked a girl. Everyone was talking about it, everyone was making bets on when you'd get together.
However, me being the loving fool I was, didn't believe Christine would fall for you. Little did I know you were her weed hook up. I didn't even know she smoked cigarettes, let alone weed. I guess you'd say, "That shows what you know, Haz."
You really pissed me off Jaime. Even with all the shit that went down with us, right up to the rehearsal dinner you still called me, Haz. You really knew how to push my buttons, didn't you, Jaime?
I never thought you'd be interested in my friend(s) because you didn't need me anymore and I didn't need you. By Year 12, the feeling of resentment was mutual between us.
You don't know how many times I wished you'd come to your senses and decided you missed your sometime brother/sometime friend, but that wasn't the case.
I wish you hadn't gone down that path, I wish I could've seen you go down it and maybe I could've been the one to pull you back from the abyss. That life you chose, Jaime, it was never going to end well. One day it would catch up with you, as a teen or an old man somewhere, the universe has a funny way of playing tricks with us humans (like it did with my life) but everyone gets their comeuppance. It was only a matter of time, Jaime, but you decided to have the last laugh, eh, and go out with a bang.
I should have listened to the rumours of the time (or at least checked them and how accurate they were), I shouldn't have been stupid and dismissed them thinking you were never capable of doing such a thing or thinking Christine would never do such a thing. I guess I never knew her as much as I thought I did.
The Christine I knew would have never done what the rumours were saying, I'll never know the extent of what happened with you two, but I can't help wondering... maybe she liked the thrill, or if she liked the danger?
Damn, I really will never know.
I find myself remembering the first time you and I got caught by Mike and Shelley at Adlertree for mucking around.
"Who did this?" Mike asked, you and I just stood by the door of the office, looking at each other with knowing looks.
"Come on one of you needs to say something," Shelley said, and our eyes locked again. She walked closer to me, and asked, "Harry, was it you?"
"Nope," I said with a smile.
"Jaime, was it you?" She said, after turning to you beside me.
"Nope," you said with a smile like mine.
"Tell the truth or it's time-out!" Mike shouted and we looked at each other before deciding to look around the room.
"If none of you says anything, it time-out for the both of you!" Shelley shouted and by this point, I wanted to sit down, my legs were getting tired.
Then came Jack from the other room. "It was Harry!"
"What? Come here, Jack," Mike says, and Jack walks into the doorway of the office.
"It was Harry, I saw him getting the flour and whisking the eggs. And -"
"What about Jaime? Where was Jaime? You don't seriously expect me to believe Harry did this?" Mike said, looking at him sharply and Jack gulped. He looked nervous.
"He did! Jaime had nothing to do with it, he was playing Fifa with us in the living room, honest," Jack said and I raised my eyebrows, you huffed next to me.
"Alright Harry, it's time-out for you, and you're doing house chores for a month," Mike said and Jack left the office.
"Jack's lying Mike," you said, and I looked at you with wide-eyes, there was no need for you to get into trouble too.
"What?" Mike asked.
"Jack, he's my mate, of course, he'd cover for me, but Haz, he's got no mates (but me), course they'd dump all the blame on him," you said and I remember looking at you in a different light. You'd never said you were my friend before then and then you'd said it.
"So you're saying Jack was lying?" Shelley asked.
"Well kinda," you said.
"What does that mean?" Mike asked we could all tell he was a bit fed up with us by now.
"It was me," you said.
"What?"
"I did it, all of it, Haz had nothing to do with it," you said and I gasped.
"Jaime's lying, I helped!" I'd said, there was no way I would let you take my blame as well as your own when you'd just said you were my friend.
"God, what is this nonsense?" Mike said rubbing his eyes, his head must've hurt like a bitch.
"We did it together!" We both said and the two adults just looked at us like we needed to get our heads checked.
"What, did they just admit that, Mike? Jaime and Harry?" Shelley asked her hands on her hips.
"I think so, Shelley," Mike said in a whisper.
"Well it's time-out for the both of you, now," Shelley said ushering us out of the office with a pointed finger. Then we went up the stairs in silence and went into the red-painted time-out room and collapsed into the orange and green bean bags in fits of laughter.
Then our laughs died out after realising we were in the time-out room. You held out your hand to me, pinky finger extended. "Haz, we've got each other's backs, always."
I locked my pinky in yours and kissed our thumbs. "We've got each other's backs, always."
You were once nice, sweet, caring and kind-hearted. What happened to you to make you so twisted? I thought we were friends, like brothers at one point, where did it all go so wrong Jaime?
All the love, Harry.
// author's note //
unedited.
GoT in a few hours!! I can't wait :)
Till next update,
L x