Intense dare games ending in death.
Chapter 18
Christmas break was over far too quickly in Estella's mind, students had already arrived back and classes had been on for a week, marking it now the first weekend of the second term. She was sitting with Sirius in the Gryffindor common room, her legs sprawled over his and a bag of chocoballs resting in her lap whilst she tried to throw them at him and hoped that he would catch them, but it wasn't exactly going well for either of them. Every time he would miss one of them, it either rolled off the couch or she would grab it and eat it before he even had a chance.
And whenever it rolled off the couch, she would make him go and get it as punishment for not catching it.
"So, one half of the new Hogwart's couple," Sirius smirked, watching her roll her eyes, "you're making purebloods angry."
"Can you believe so many people have grown up with such twatty views?" she grumbled, shaking her head and soon rolling her eyes, "it's kind of disgusting and we always say, oh well they're getting their views from their parents and that's true but you did too, you grew up with that, you're a perfect example of being a decent human being and knowing right from wrong!"
"I knew it was wrong but y'know I bet most other purebloods our age do too, I bet they're just scared and they don't have friends like mine, they don't have James and Remus and Peter, or even you, Estella, they have other purebloods who think the same things, and are scared as they are," Sirius sighed.
"If that's the case what about Teresa," she whispered, her name sent a shiver up her spine, knowing she sat there as the girl who killed her, who stared down at her with her eyes narrowed to slits, slitting her throat whilst Sirius, whilst James, and her parents thought she was alive, that she had ran away, she hated that that very thought made her feel sick.
Though, she still didn't care about Teresa.
"She had me, and she had James, even you and Pete, and she stool chose to change, to switch. She didn't need to do that out of fear, because she just had to be a decent person, everyone just has to be a decent person. They could be terrified of the dark lord, and they might have to pretended to think that way and think that they like his ideals, but...but that doesn't give any of them any right to terrorise muggleborn's, it's unfair, it's horrible for them and they are terrified, they are much more frightened than purebloods could ever be.
And I know that we are purebloods too, but that doesn't mean that we are going to think what they think, we can say proudly that we are actually, y'know, decent human beings because we aren't stupid enough to think that lord twatty's ideals are even remotely okay!" she shook her head, running a hand through her hair.
"That reminds me, you know how that guy...Jamie? The one who ran away?" asked Sirius, watching Estella as she nodded her head.
"Yeah, what about him?"
"Well there's a bunch more purebloods going missing," he trailed off, "some people are wondering about it, especially cause their friends are positive they would have told them."
"Hmmm I don't know about that, if these purebloods are really scared of the dark lord then they aren't going to just tell their friends, no matter how close they are they're bound to keep it to themselves," Estella shrugged, "well that's what I would think anyway."
"Oh yeah, same," Sirius nodded, "it's just...weird, like how is the lord guy even getting them and why isn't more being done about it...what if they haven't actually run away what if something has happened?"
"Intense dare games ending in death," Estella joked, watching Sirius shake his head with amusement, and soon did he let out a laugh.
"I shouldn't be laughing at that," he chuckled.
"How many muggleborn's can I offend, loser dies," he covered his mouth to stop his laughter whilst Estella grinned, "an intense game of hurt the muggleborn gone wrong...they instead hurt each other."
"Estella stop it," Sirius laughed loudly, and soon did Estella join in.
"There's a loose brick in the courtyard and they were all stupid enough to trip over it," she giggled, "their bodies sunk into the ground."
"You are seriously terrible, Estella Pettigrew," Sirius tutted, earning a louder laugh from Estella, "no, but seriously, what if they're actually dead?"
"I don't know, I mean I think if the professor's thought they were dead then they would look into it," Estella shrugged, "some people thought I killed Jamie."
"You're kidding?!"
"No, I swear," she laughed, "but that was forgotten because they realised how bloody stupid it was!"
"Yeah, I mean you hurt a few but that was it, it was just a bit of anger, bloody hell," Sirius shook his head, soon rolling his eyes, "merlin, this school is going crazy."
"Oh, I know," she grumbled, "it's not the school it's the people who think that the dark lord and his views are even remotely alright!"
"I know," Sirius shook his head, "alright...let's just not talk about them."
"Good idea," she nodded, "let's talk about you and a certain Remus John Lupin."
"I don't know," he mumbled, shaking his head, "obviously I like him and sometimes I think he likes me too but I know that he's still not over the whole Teresa thing, y'know? I see him trying to forget her, and now that she's gone I think it's easier for him to move past it but he still hasn't, and he did like her, he very clearly liked her and I still wonder if a tiny part of him still does. I suppose the only bloody thing I can do is just be there for him, and make sure he knows that he doesn't need her to be happy, he has me, and the boys and you and it might take him a while to finally realise that but he'll be alright, I'm sure of it."
Estella pushed herself forward, throwing her arms around him tightly whilst he let out a laugh, "he is so lucky to have you, Sirius...we all are."
-
"Everyone still thinks that the purebloods ran off to join the dark lord," Estella whispered, running her hands through Theo's hair as he lay on her chest, "as if lord twatty is going to want a bunch of idiots."
Theo scoffed as he traced his hand over the exposed skin of her waist, "thank merlin," he leaned forward, softly kissing the skin that his hand once traced, earning a hum from Estella who was watching him intently.
"I hate having to think about it," Estella confessed, her eyes glazed with tears as she finally let the words slip out of her mouths, thoughts that had piled in her mind, and soon did Theo turn to her, sitting up and pulling her into him.
"Think about what?" he whispered, kissing her forehead, "talk to me, baby."
"What we did, what we're doing," she mumbled into him, gripping his shirt, "I know they're purebloods, and they are cruel and evil and they deserve it, to us, they deserve it because they think it's okay for the dark lord to kill muggleborn's, they think that's okay, and it's so not okay, and I did this so we could get revenge, and I wish you weren't caught up in it too because what if we get caught, I'd make sure you weren't involved because I don't want you to go to jail, you don't deserve that.
It was me who had the thrill of killing, of hurting people-"
"So did I, Estella," Theo whispered as he pulled her onto his lap, "I had the thrill of it, the excitement, the twisted happiness of them dead because they did deserve it, they do deserve it, and the thrill of watching you do that, hearing your voice so bitter and angry merlin, Estella it was hot and that was a thrill in itself, but knowing that they weren't going to be around to terrorise any more muggleborn's, anyone like me, knowing that we let them have a little more peace, it felt amazing!"
She nodded her head, smiling softly as he wiped her tears, "I don't want to go to jail for people like them."
"We aren't going to Azkaban, Estella," he whispered, "we aren't going to jail because they're gone and no one knows and it's fine, and if you don't want to kill any more people then we won't, we can ignore them like everyone is doing and when we are able to fight we will."
"I just don't want any more blood on my hands," she whispered, snuggling closer to her, "but you deserve justice Theo, you deserve to live in a world that isn't against you!"
"Let's talk about you, Stella," Theo mumbled into her forehead, "instead of this, tell me about your mother, about your family."
"We're a little similar with our situations," she finally spoke after a few minutes of silence, "not fully, I suppose, I mean me and Peter can say that we were lucky to never have met my dad before but it pains me every single day that my mum had to go through what she did, if I ever killed anyone else, then it would really be him, if I ever found him, that is.
He left us after Peter was born but I can't remember him. Always talking about how my mum just didn't fit his needs anymore and what he really meant was that he was too immature to even handle a family. He abused my mum and when she got bigger and bigger with Peter, he left her because she wasn't thin anymore, he left her with nothing, and the only reason she was able to get a job because her mum would look after me and Pete for her.
I asked my mum to tell me about him one day, well, actually I always went on about him, asking so much about him, when I'd meet him, what he was like, I was so intrigued to know, always wondering about him, but when I was older my mum finally told me the truth, it kind of broke my heart because of how much I wanted to know him, and to find out the truth, it really did hurt.
It hurt to know that mum had to go through all that stuff, he would come home drunk with empty bottles in his hands and if she ever opened her mouth, he'd smash them over her head, she still has scars from it, it's so horrible.
I hate him, I've never truly met him before, but I suppose him and your dad would get along," she shook her head in disgust whilst Theo intertwined their fingers, their hands resting on her knee, "I wish I could go back in time for mum y'know, get her out of there. My mum deserves the world, I swear, she deserves a life worth living but these days she can barely afford to live with or without us there and it hurts to watch her put on a smile for us."
Theo didn't say anything at first, instead he just continued to litter her face with small kisses, holding her closer, tighter, and soon did he whisper, "why is it that you go through so much stuff, and you still manage to make yourself seem alright?"
"Theo," she laughed softly, turning to him with her head titled.
"No, I mean it," he frowned, "you go home and you barely live off of anything, you and Peter and your mother have to survive off of what you can and yet no one would know this about you unless you told them because you just don't complain about it, and you get called a blood traitor, you get terrorised for being a decent human being and you try to do something about it, and you are still the most amazing girl!"
"Theo, you are praising me for living my life the way someone should, I can't help what happens to me but I can make it bearable and I can make myself happy, and you make me happy so I wouldn't complain about that. Theo your father hurt you, and your mother and he tried to kill her, you got that every summer and Christmas and you went back to school to get treated the same way.
And then you and your mum moved here for a new start and here at your new school you're still getting treated so badly, and terrorised with people shouting such a vile word, telling you that you don't belong here when you definitely do, it's terribly unfair," she frowned, cupping his cheek with her hand and slowly tracing her thumb over his skin.
"I think you have forgotten that you're here at this school," he smiled softly, pushing himself forward to connect their lips, "and that is all I need to love it here."