A\N: Okay, so this is my second major fanfic! Yay! So I found this idea on fanfiction.net and I kept the idea of Tobias having a younger sister, nothing else. You can go check it out, it's called 'Younger Sister' and it's set as the same initiation year as Tris, so basically it's all the main dialogue straight from the book. I didn't want to do that because that would be long, and a major hassle, so this character's choosing ceremony is set one year after Tris's. Basically, the war didn't happen. Tris and Four are together. Four has a younger sister. I hope you guys like it, because I enjoy writing it. I've got the initial story line planned out, so let's get this show on the road!
Prologue/Chapter 1
Life in Abnegation is supposed to be quiet. It's supposed to be peaceful and devoted to helping others. That's the nice side of Abnegation. That's the part that makes me shameful for wanting to leave.
But then there's the other half, the one that I encounter almost everyday no matter what-my father, Marcus Eaton. He is the leader of our faction, and I have figured out that there are two sides to him: there's the kind, quiet, loyal side, that makes me appreciate him.
But that only lasts for a second.
The other side is rougher, harder, monstrous even, it is the one that makes me want to flee from my family, that makes me cry myself to sleep every night.
But I have my brother. And my brother has me. That's how we survive in this house hold. We survive with each other.
We had our mother at some point in our lives, but she died before I was able to acknowledge how important she really was for me. I remember attending her funeral and the tears squeezing out of my eyes, clenching my brother's hand for dear life.
The door slams shut with a soft thud. Today is the day that my brother has to take his aptitude test, and tomorrow he will decide where he belongs. To stay here, or to leave us. Not us-I don't tend to associate Marcus and I as an us-but mainly me. He might choose to leave me. Marcus is now home, and I'm shaking-my hands, my toes, my legs-Tobias isn't home yet. Not that I need him to protect me, but he's always there in case things get out of hand.
Like, really out of hand.
"Catherine!" Marcus calls. I set my pencil down on my desk and close up my math book, telling myself my homework can wait for later.
"Coming, father." I say in a hushed voice. Shouting brings too much unnecessary attention to yourself. I descend the stairs as quickly and swiftly as possible, trying not to make a sound.
"Yes, father?" I ask in a small voice, bowing my head. He scans me up and down and sets his hand on his chin.
"Where is your brother?" he demands, running his fingers against the stubble that spreads across his lower cheeks.
"He had aptitude tests today. He will be coming home late," I say, wincing. Aptitude tests are during lunch. Tobias must be wandering about, somewhere in the streets, not taking into account the time, like he always does, that little shit, and the consequences that come when you're not here on time.
"Are you lying to me?" he interrogates, leaning closer to me as if to speculate and study my face. My breaths are shaky yet strong once his face is only an inch away from mine.
"No," I stammer, unconvincingly. That's the thing about Marcus. He sees through all of my lies.
"I think you're lying to me!" the blow comes before the sentence ends and I am immediately thrown to the ground from its force. Marcus may be dwindling on the age side, but he packs a good punch. I touch my fingertips to the recipient end of the punch, and it feels swollen already. My eye starts to seal shut, and I know that I'm going to get a black eye. It's easy to cover up these kinds of things. Really, I just tell people I tripped. I just say, clumsy old me, tripped over my own legs. They're kind of long already, so people can actually try to believe it. With Tobias it's harder. But that's okay; Marcus is smart enough to know where to hit with him.
I stand up as quickly as possible, to not show weakness.
"What do I tell people at the choosing ceremony tomorrow? Some people are starting to doubt my excuses," I whisper.
He brusquely grabs me by the shoulders and says, "You tell them you fell. You tripped, and fell badly down the stairs." He pulls back.
"Do you understand me?" he demands. I nod my head. "Now go on. I have people coming over." I nod and walk back upstairs. To the washroom I go, wetting a washcloth until it's damp. I dab it to my eye which is becoming a deep shade of blue-purple already, and wince. It's very sensitive. But I'm used to the pain. After a while, I barely feel it. I wander back to my bedroom and open my math book. The numbers and explanations make my head spin. I slam the book shut, letting out a frustrated sigh, just as the front door opens again. Tobias is home.
"Hello father," he greets Marcus, then walks upstairs with his bag slung across his shoulder.
"Get back here, young man." He calls. Tobias turns around and goes to speak with father and I close my door until I can only see a slit of outside. Eavesdropping is a selfish act. And committing selfish acts in this house is worth a beating. I open up a different textbook, my faction history one. In it, it teaches each faction and their manifestos.
Amity believe in kindness, something that deeply interests me. I love being kind, projecting outwards. I love the idea of being kind, but I'm not. I have a temper. I like annoying people. Amity wouldn't be right for me. I couldn't fit in.
Candor always speak their minds and tell the truth, something that has always been a struggle for me. I always lie, to Tobias, to father, to the people around me. It's better that I keep myself guarded as much as possible, or else I'll let people in. I can't let people in. They wouldn't like me. When I put up walls, they never crumble.
Next is Erudite. They believe that knowledge is the key. I do believe that we must be educated, and that we must know about our world. But I don't believe that we should have knowledge at all costs. People at school said that they test serums and medicine on rats and mice and such. I don't think we should harm innocent animals to learn about something like that. I mean, how would it feel to be poked and prodded? Not so good.
Dauntless. The brave. I always watch them in the mornings, going into school, how they gracefully jump off the trains. I always think to myself, maybe I could be like them one day, but I never believe that I could have neither the bravery nor the inner strength to do something like that. The idea of becoming like them and choosing to be with them is always at the back of my mind, but could I really do it?
And finally, Abnegation. I believe in selflessness, in forgetting myself and helping others, because it makes me feel good inside that I helped someone. That I made someone's day even better. I believe that I could belong amongst the quiet, gray-clothed people that I see in my quotidian life, but there's one issue to staying here: Marcus. I wouldn't be able to move out until I'm eighteen. That's the age you get to pick a house; that's the age you get to start picking a spouse. That would mean to spend two extra years with a monster, and I'm not sure if I could do that. Not with the way he treats us.
Besides, I'm only thirteen. I still have three years ahead of me. I have three years to decide which faction I belong to, and even so, the aptitude test will help me choose. My brother will pick tomorrow, and... I don't know what to expect from him.
"Hey Cath," I start, his voice surprising me. I run my hand over my hair, smoothing it down, tucking any loose strands back into my bun.
"Hey Bass," we gave each other nicknames at a certain point, when I was three or four I think, because I couldn't stand my name. It's so plain and stereotypical, and I wanted something shorter. Everyone calls me Catherine, and Tobias calls me Cath. It's always been that way.
"What are you doing?" he eases open the door then puts it back in its place, taking a seat down on my bed. I back up from my desk and turn my chair to face him.
"Studying the Manifestos. Such a boring task," I say, and he smirks.
"Please, that's a piece of cake. I can't wait to see your reaction when you're sixteen and you're learning about calculus and pi." He gloats.
"Pi?" I ask. "What's Pi?" he laughs and I still remain quizzical, my eyebrows furrowed.
"You'll see," he says, standing up to leave. Only then does he notice my bruise, that's slowly getting bigger on the right side of my face. he stops midstride, and turns to face me.
"He got you," he murmurs, brushing his thumb over the welt. I take his hand and move it away from my face.
"I'm fine, Bass." He shakes his head. Runs his hand through his short hair.
"No you're not." He protests. He faces me now, and looks me sternly in the eyes.
"Tomorrow, I'm staying here, do you understand? I am not going to leave you here alone." I shake my head.
"Bass, what happens when I want to leave?" I stand up from the chair and look up at him. I'm thirteen, and he's sixteen. He's two feet taller than me and I can barely walk around in his big shoes. It's hard to try to seem big to him, to try to hold authority over him, when I am physically so small.
"If I leave when it comes the time, and you stay, what happens then?" I hold his shoulders, on my tip toes to reach him. "You have to go." I tell him. What I don't say is the real reason why I need him to leave. He'll never know.
"No," he says. It's impossible to argue with him. He can't see reason. He sighs then wraps his arms around me, folding me into an embrace.
"I just want you to be safe," he whispers into my ear. I don't know what to say, so I remain wordless. He then pulls back and leaves to go to his room.
"Catherine, come prepare dinner!" Marcus calls from below. I put my books back into my bag and head down stairs to start cutting up vegetables and letting them boil. I then put some chicken in the oven and cut a loaf of bread to go with it. Here in Abnegation, we eat plain food. It is selfish to keep grand food to ourselves when all we need is simplicity.
"Tobias, come eat. I have someone coming over tonight and I wouldn't like you two bothering them." Bass comes down the stairs and joins me in the kitchen. Marcus sits in the chair in the living room, filling out paperwork that I will never understand. Bass gets out two plates and two glasses. I serve the food out on both plates, putting one portion of bread, chicken and vegetables on the dishes. He fills both glasses of water up and we sit down at the kitchen table. Marcus gets up from his chair, and comes to join us at the edge of the table.
"Did you make enough for my guest?" he asks. I nod my head and take a bite of my bread.
"Now. When he comes over, I want both of you in your rooms. You do your homework, then you go to sleep. Is that clear?" we both nod our heads. Bass looks up at me from his plate and I look at him, and then continue eating.
"Who is coming over?" I ask, wiping my mouth on a napkin. Bass glares at me. Curiosity is a way of accessing information to help the self, basically self-indulgent. But I couldn't help myself.
"Excuse me?" Marcus asks.
"Nothing, father." I say, in a hushed voice. He smacks the back of my head, almost sending my face straight into my vegetables. It doesn't hurt, but it aggravates me. I don't like it when someone holds power over me.
"Do not ask questions, Catherine." He says, as if my question was an act of betrayal. I slightly roll my eyes, but not enough for him to see. Marcus returns to his seat, and Bass and I clean our dishes and put them away.
We ascend the stairs and part ways to go to our separate rooms, and just as I am about to close the door shut, I leave it just a crack open, so I can peak through it. I really want to know who it is.
"Andrew," Marcus says, bowing his head toward the man. Just as I am about to back away and close the door, the man catches my gaze. He doesn't say anything. Instead, he smiles, and winks at me. Panicked, though I shouldn't be, I close the door in a hurry and head to my bed.
He smiled. He winked. He should've scolded me. Strange.
Andrew Prior. Spouse of Natalie Prior, father to Beatrice and Caleb Prior. I have seen them at school before. Caleb and Beatrice are only a year older than me, but Beatrice is still my height. I haven't really spoken to them before, but their father is close friends with Marcus. Whenever they host a dinner party and invite Marcus, we are never aloud to attend. Really, the only time that I saw them outside of school was at my mother's funeral. They paid their respects, and stayed around to support Marcus. My brother, really, was the only one there for me.
But that's in the past. Marcus never treated my mother well. He treated her like he treats me and Bass. At least she had a chance to escape. At least she got to die. Why can't we get that chance? Oh yes, that's right.
Taking your own life is one of the most selfish acts of them all.
///!¡!\\\
I turn down my light, ready for bed, when I hear voices. I sit upright in my bed, worried for what might be happening.
"The choosing ceremony, dad!" I hear Bass scream. Oh no. Bass. I hear footsteps, then, a bone-shivering smack. That's the belt. I know that sound all too familiar. Bass screams out with the lashes, and I can't bear to hear him. I shove my head between my pillow and the mattress, trying to shut out their sounds, with tears strolling down my face and wetting my mattress. I can't go to him. I've done it before, went to stop Marcus, and I got it twice as bad. Bass got so mad at me for taking his blows, but I didn't understand when I was young, why he was mad, yet he was crying. I was only ten years old, and he was thirteen. I never did it again. Bass's tears frightened me.
It stops at some point, the screams, and I feel myself beginning to relax. I hear Marcus's door slam, and I know that I'm safe to go see him.
I stop by the washroom first to grab him a wet washcloth and a dry towel so I can help him with the wounds on his back. I do this with him and he does it with me whenever Marcus gets the belt, because we can't do it on our own. Really, it's just a mutual understanding.
I open his door without knocking, and he sits there on his bed, his bloody shirt on the floor, his upper half bare.
"Are you alright?" I whisper, rushing to his side. He meekly nods his head.
"You know what to do," I say. He nods it once again and lies on his stomach so I can tend to his back. Pain spreads across his face when the washcloth connects with his back and I pull it back, then gently dab it on again. I do this until almost half the skin on his back is free of red.
"You have to leave," I say, dabbing. He shakes his head.
"We are not discussing this again, Cath. I'm staying. That's final." He insists.
"Why can't you be selfish for once?" I ask him. "It kills me every time you cringe when he walks by me. It kills me when I hear your screams. It kills me when you come and defend me, then get the blow yourself." I lower my voice because it's beginning to get loud, and the last thing I want to do is wake Marcus up.
"Bass, I'm asking you to leave. I can protect myself." He lets out a sigh.
"You don't understand, Cath. What if he goes too far? What if he really hurts you? What if he kills you? how would I know?" he asks me. "I can't leave you here by yourself."
"God, you're getting annoying Bass. He's not going to kill me. Both wife and daughter dead? That would be suspicious." I shake my head. "And besides, if the rolls were switched, I would transfer. Without a doubt." I wipe the dry towel over his back to get any excess blood, then help him sit up. "How about, tomorrow, you pick a faction. Any of them. In three years, I'll pick the same. And I'll try to find you there. And we can live together." I say with a smile. He laughs, one short laugh, and I can just picture myself finding a spouse, having a family...the idea is perfect. Limitless joy.
"You promise you'll be okay?" he asks me.
"I promise." I say, my hand over my heart. "Cross my heart, hope to die.
"Pick a faction tonight. Choose it tomorrow. Get out of here." I whisper. "Okay?" his eyes search mine, he contemplates the idea, then he closes his eyes.
"Okay." I smile. He kisses the top of my head.
"When did you get so mature?" He murmurs, tuckinf a strand of my hair behind my ear.
I smile sadly. "It's hard to stay innocent after all the things I've seen and been through."
His mouth forms a thin straight line. "I should've done more to protect you."
"No, Bass. You did just fine." I squeeze his shoulder reassuringly.
"Goodnight, Bass." I say.
"Goodnight, Cath."
I smile and walk back to my room, then fall asleep.
///!¡!\\\
(After Tobias's Choosing Ceremony)
I told myself before, that I need Tobias with me in case things get out of hand with Marcus. That I need him with me so he can protect me if things go wrong. But now that he is gone, I'm going to have build up my bravery.
In three years, when I choose Dauntless, I'm going to need it.
Okay! There's the first chapter! I'd also like to mention that the title of this story is based off a Delirium quote! So creds to Lauren Oliver for that! Comment below your thoughts, and if you guys like it, than I'll post another chapter! Thanks for reading!
DFTBA,
-Kathleen