Kidada
"Pac!", I cried out as I ran to his bed side.
This was probably the worst I have seen Pac. Laying in this hospital bed, helpless and wounded. Looking at him was like literally watching someone's soul slowly leave their body. He was already heavily sedated and put on life support machines.
How could someone be so cold and callous?
It's ridiculous how people allow fame, fortune and materialistic bullshit to hold more significance than someone's life. Here I am, staring down at the man who was my husband to be: hooked up to a machine and placed in a barbiturate-induced coma. My heart ached for my fiancé. It was unbearable to watch him like this, I thought to myself as I wiped the river of tears that strolled down my face. I wish I didn't allow him to go out tonight. I just had a bad feeling about coming back to Vegas, him going out and lastly, him not taking his bullet proof vest. If he would have had it this night like he had it any other time then maybe he wouldn't be like this.
"Wassup Kidada", an oh so familiar voice said behind me.
I turned around to see Snoop and Warren entering the room. I immediately reached in for a hug as I buried my face into Snoop's T-shirt. His long arms caressed my back, trying his best to console me as I let out an agonizing cry. In the mist of how I feel, I just wonder where the hell is Afeni?
"Let that shit out sis" Snoop said to me as he tried to mask the pain in his voice.
I sniffled as shut my eyes tighter and letting out a sigh. "It's just not fair. He is too young for this non-sense. People on the news channels saying he been shot all the time he'll pull through and they are speaking as if it is something that happens every day!", I shrieked.
I continued to vent to my man's friends as they nodded their head, agreeing and siding with everything I was saying. "No one deserves this type of shit man at all. At fucking all and they didn't even consult with me about putting him into a coma"
"That's because I am his mother and I was one of the first people down here watching my son climbing in and out of the bed knowing he was severely wounded".
I turned my attention to the door to see Afeni small frame walking in wearing an all-black Dashiki with a pair of jeans and matching sandals. A gold head band was wrapped around her head, emphasizing her locs that was on her head. She looked as if she was perfectly fine. But I knew it was a defense mechanism.
"Afeni" I started. "I was just confused as to why they just would do that to him"
I looked on as she hugged Snoop and Warren. They walked over to Pac's bed and began kneeling over him as I turned my attention to my mother-in-law. Her face looked harden as she stood before me. Strong and militant.
"Kidada. Let me explain something to you and I want you to listen to me loud and clear" she sternly spoke to me. "My son has had a target on his back since he was a child because of who I was and who is step father was. My son had the power to make people listen and on top of that, he is young and gifted and BLACK", she emphasized breathlessly.
Tears trickled as I listened to her speak to me. "I knew that this would eventually happen because the more powerful he got, the more they tried to bring him to his demise. Pac was aware as well. The money, the fame, the fortune, the clique he rolled with, he was getting everything so rapidly. And Pac being so loving, so giving, so willing and so loyal was a pro and a con. He believed everyone was innocent. I always told him watch the company you keep and watch your back because you are a threat now. A threat to those imbeciles that runs our so-called government, and a threat to your own people who are jealous. Money hungry and envious"
She continued as she glanced over her shoulder then looking at me. "Don't you shed another tear right now. Everything is going to be okay Kidada. Pac is going to be alright regardless of anything. You go home and rest up, change and come back" she said to me as she gave me a tight-loving hug.
"I will be here okay?", she ensured.
"Okay", I blinked rapidly as I tried to keep the tears from falling, which was now burning my eyes.
I departed from the room after kissing Pac on the forehead. It was so many security officers, celebrities and doctors in the lobby it was too much going on. My anxiety was starting to kick in so I know sleep wasn't going to be an option. I took the elevator down to the parking deck and I had a blanket that was given to me by a nurse in the ICU.
I didn't want to go back to the hotel so I circled and walked around the parking lot for nine long hours, just me and my thoughts and other parked cars. "There's no way that this could be happening. It's a fucking nightmare" I said out loud to myself in a whisper as I paced the humid grey parking deck back and forth.
I was trapped in my conscience and I didn't know what to do. Honestly, there isn't much I can do and It hurts me to know I wasn't there to protect him or at least stop him from going, even though he would have put up a fight as to why he must go.
Before I knew it, the sun was coming up and I was still wide awake as if I had all the sleep in the world. My mind was just racing. I just couldn't believe what the hell is happening to me. My best friend, my heart, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with is fighting for his. And what could I do?
Nothing. Nothing at all and that's what hurts my heart the most. I wasn't there for my man and its killing me. Every conversation we had we would tell one another: "I'd take a bullet for you. That's how much I love you"
And it's quite funny. How he said those words for me but this outcome was not because of me. I just pray that my man pulls through. He just must. God please...
---
Jada
I paced back and forth inside of my hotel room while Will was currently in the shower. It really wasn't much to talk about and I was so bothered by everything that was transpiring around me, that I didn't even feel lie talking.
I heard the bathroom door open as I turned around to see Will exiting with his body glistening from the shower water and a cotton towel wrapped around the lower part of his light caramel body. He walked over to me and stared down at me.
"You Okay...you think you can go up the hospital today?"
I shrugged. "I-I don't know Will it's just hard. I don't wanna see my best friend like that at all." I admitted while my voice cracked.
My heart was heavy as if a ton of bricks was resting on it. when the news announced late last night that he was in an induced coma, I didn't know what to think about the outcome of Pac's life. I know that he's like superhero. He gets harmed but he is never defeated and comes back better than ever.
But right now, I just don't know. Every entertainer has their final bow and I don't know if Pac is about to have his final curtain call.
"Jada." Will sighed. "I think you should go up there and see him. His mom is looking for you and I know he is too"
"But he's in a c..." I paused as my lip quivered and I started to choke up on my tears. "A coma will. He won't even know I'm there"
"Not true. You and Pac had a special type of friendship Jada. I'm just sad it took for this to happen for me to finally accept it and see it. You guys friendship is so strong and y'all connected so well. y'all energy bounced off one another and you guys genuinely love and care for one another. He may not open his eyes to physically see you but spiritually you guys are connected", Will said to me as he caressed his hand on my face.
Kissing his hand gently, I pulled him into an embrace as he wrapped his arms around my petite frame. Those words that my man spoke means a lot to me. And I know it took a lot for him to say that as well. I just don't know if I am mentally ready to see my best friend. My brother like that. I have seen friends wounded and hurt but to see Pac like that? I don't think my heart and soul is ready for such a sight.
We pulled away from each other after giving each other a kiss on the lips. I nodded as I deeply sighed and nodded my head.
"Your right baby. I need to get down there and see him. I don't want to live with that on my conscious" I admitted as I disappeared into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror for a brief second.
My hair was disheveled and my eyes were red and puffy from crying the whole plane ride. I was mentally and physically tired but I needed to get myself together and go see my best friend to let him know that I love him more than 'he'll ever know.
We may fuss, fight and argue but I'ma always be down for him. I put my life and my blood on that.
In the event of my Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I hope I die for a principle
or a belief that I had lived 4
I will die before my time
Because I feel the shadow's depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
Before I reached my death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from my eyes
I loved all who were positive
In the event of my Demise!
-
Tupac Amaru Shakur
"The Rose That Grew from Concrete"
---
And this was the official last chapter of this book but dont delete it just yet !
I have the epilogue and a thank you chapter coming up next.
I hope you enjoyed .... Much Love (=