Gonna need some muggle help
Chapter 13
Weeks came and gone, November came and brought snow, and the thought of Jamie sparked interest among purebloods who had noticed his disappearance, wondering why the boy didn't show up for class, many had their theories.
But only a few had ever uttered "that mental pureblood, Pettigrew, you know the one? The one that hurt those people?" to which got scoffs in return, all of which had never thought Estella even remotely involved with the events that happened. They merely came to the conclusion that his family had called for him to join him on their tasks with Voldemort.
Estella was surprised to say that she was thankful that people were underestimating her, she was surprised that her shoulders slumped in relief when someone casted a glance, sweeping over her as she walked in the hallway alone or with Theo and scoffed and would say, "she couldn't possibly have anything to do with Jamie disappearing."
She couldn't deny that she was ever so slightly on edge whenever she heard the name of the boy that she had killed, looking over her shoulder for anything suspicious, though Theo had made sure she didn't get herself worked up about it as much as she already was.
"Estella it's done now, and no one would suspect you, the Professor's don't either," Theo sighed, "they think he's ran away and no one is doing anything about it."
"But why aren't the Professors doing anything?!" she groaned, falling onto his chest whilst he held her close to him.
"I don't know, Stella, but it's okay," he mumbled into her forehead, soon pressing a kiss to it.
Currently, the girl sat with the boys, leaning on James who still wasn't over the thought of Teresa, who hadn't even tried to talk to him, instead she had found some friends from Slytherin, friends that thought it funny to shout mudblood whenever Theo passed.
If Estella killed anyone again, she knew it'd be them.
"Did anyone hear about that guy everyone's talking about?" asked Remus, casually tracing his hand over Sirius' who he was leaning on, on one of the armchairs of the Gryffindor common room. When Estella greeted them, thinking of spending some time with them, she had taken note of the two boys, seeing them so close to each other, she wondered if Sirius had forgotten to tell her something, maybe that he had finally told Remus how he truly felt.
But that didn't seem to be the case, which was greatly disappointing, knowing that someone else to take Remus' mind off of Teresa might be good for him, and no one better to do that would be his best friend, his best friend who loved him dearly, not to mention that the secret Sirius was keeping was aching him, wishing that he would just tell Remus, he knew not to, not wanting to tell him something so big when he was still not over the fact that he liked Teresa.
And well, James wasn't exactly over that either.
"Oh yeah, I did." Peter nodded, sharing the cauldron cakes that Estella - well, Sirius - had got him with Estella. When she tried to explain that Sirius had gotten them, Sirius quickly jumped in, making sure Peter knew that it was actually, in fact, Estella who had gotten the cauldron cakes, and her idea to make sure he got them because he was craving them over summer.
Peter scolded her for spending her money on him, whilst she gave him a wary smile, and soon did she send a grateful one to a grinning Sirius who thought nothing of it.
"Same, it was weird," James shook his head, nudging Estella who looked up from her book, "did you hear about it, I'm sure you'll be happy about it."
Sirius scoffed, nodding his head, "you'll probably have a party!"
"About what?" asked Estella.
"Jamie Penance, some pureblood Gryffindor, you know, one of the arses, he's went missing!" Peter exclaimed, "just disappeared on Halloween!"
"Weren't you talking to him on Halloween, Estella?" asked James, "I could've sworn you were with him."
"At the feast yeah," Estella nodded, faking a frown, "he asked me out to Hogsmeade earlier that day and I told him I couldn't go, so at the feast I was just making sure he knew I was sorry, I mean I wasn't, but you know...I didn't know he was an arse."
"Why did you say no to him when he asked you out?" asked Remus, seeing the smirking on Sirius face, the boy knew that he knew more than him.
"Because she knows that she can't date boys, or girls, or anyone, until I'm dead and buried and don't have to witness it," Peter shrugged, sending a grin to Estella.
"Oh yeah," she scoffed, nodding her head, "dating, what even is that?"
"I believe it's what you and Theo Dawson are doing," Sirius choked out, earning a glare from Estella when Peter's head snapped around to her.
"What's he talking about?" asked Peter, his eyes narrowing accusingly at Estella who was looking at any of the boys for help, though Remus was trying to hide his smirk and James was subtly laughing, no one was going to help her.
"Uh...my," she coughed slightly, Theo had called her his girlfriend on multiple occasions since the night of Halloween, and every moment it made her heart swell, "...boyfriend."
"What?!" Peter screeched, standing suddenly, "since when do you have a boyfriend?!"
"Since Halloween," Estella shrugged, nudging Sirius who was trying to tease her and soon whacking his arm, "this is why you shouldn't know things!"
"No, no, no, don't blame Sirius!" Peter exclaimed, "you're not telling me that new bloke is your boyfriend?!"
"That new bloke isn't so new anymore," Estella huffed, "and he has a name, which is Theo!"
"Why didn't you tell me this before?!"
"Uh, because I knew you would react like this you big twat!" Estella exclaimed, "bloody hell Peter, I'm older than you and I know better, I really like him and he's my boyfriend whether you like it or not!"
"Yeah, we'll it's definitely not," Peter grumbled, shaking his head.
-
Estella's head leaned on Theo's shoulder as she lay on his chest between his legs, his arms tightly clutched around her whilst she stared at him, her fingers slowly tracing patterns along his cheeks whilst he watched amused at how in awe she looked. She wasn't exactly in awe, well, she was, but she loved lying with him, loved feeling his touch, loved touching him.
She moved up softly, guiding his face to look at her and soon did she kiss him, feeling the perfect mould of his lips on hers, tasting him whilst he gripped her tighter than before, a hum of laughter falling from his lips as he had been waiting for it, waiting for the time she would kiss him, she always seemed to. Whenever she lay in his arms, snuggled close to him whilst he whispered in her ear how beautiful she looked or teased her with silly jokes or sarcastic remarks whilst he loved to hear the sound of her laughter, softly floating in the air.
"I love doing that," she mumbled against his lips, and soon did he chuckled, nuzzling his head closer to her. He brushed his lips over her earlobe, nibbling softly and feeling her squirming whilst she couldn't help but laugh, whispering, "stop."
"Do you know how lucky I am?" he whispered, "to have you finally in my arms."
"What happened to the bad boy huh?" she giggled, turning around to face him, "oh the new boy, oh the mysterious boy, oh he's so cute and mysterious, he's probably so bad, yeah, I'd like to see all those people see you like this, huh, Theo, so soppy!" she grinned.
"Oh, piss off," Theo grumbled, trailing his hand on her thigh whilst she muttered empty protests about his rising hand, "what was that, you want me to stop, huh?"
"Shut up," she mumbled, moving closer to him, though that seemed to be quite impossible, she was practically pushing him further against the wall whilst he laughed at how touchy she was being.
"Ca-Can I confess to something?" asked Estella, her voice barely a whisper as the thought swept through her mind once again, "it's really horrible, I hate the thought of it, but I need to get it off my chest."
"You can tell me anything babe," he laughed, the way he said babe in his cute little accent was enough to make Estella melt, but she was too busy thinking the terrible thought that she couldn't let it slide, that even as he held her close in his arms, that even when thoughts of him usually clouded his mind, the only thing she was thinking about in that moment was his opinion, what he would think of her when she told him the truth that she had been hiding since the very night of Halloween, something she finally had to let go of.
"kil-killing that boy...killing Jamie," she whispered, frowning, and soon did she take a deep breath, "I felt satisfied, I felt good about it."
It took him more than a few minutes to respond, letting her words travel through his mind, looking for a reaction, looking for something to oppose of it, because he didn't. He was more than willing to fight for her, to fight with her, had the truth ever to come out, he would say he was involved - of course she would make sure they knew he wasn't - but he didn't care, they were and always would be in it together.
"I think I understand," Theo soon spoke, watching her suddenly turn to him, her eyes wide, lips parted in shock.
"I didn't expect that, Theo, not in the slightest," she shook her head, seeing the smile twitch at his lips.
"At Ilvermorny," he spoke, "when I hurt purebloods for doing exactly what they did here, I felt very satisfied, as though knowing that they were hurt, that they were the ones to cause the pain in the first place and now they suffered a worse fate, that their vile words didn't match my fists, and their pain was caused because they deserved it, the hurt I caused them...it was a drug."
"Yes exactly!" she exclaimed as she ran her hand through his hair, "it's really terrifying me, Theo, because I don't want to kill people, I was never going to kill that boy, but because he threatened to tell McGonagall, when I did it, when I killed him, I really enjoyed it, I want to do it again!"
"You do?!" Theo's eyes widened, seeing the seemingly innocent girl lying on him with the big doe eyes and the unsuspecting smile with a thirst to kill purebloods, he couldn't exactly deny that it messed with her head, "that's extremely risky, Stella, I know why you're doing it - but it's still people's lives!"
"I know that Theo, but these people are the ones who agree to kill muggleborn's, that they think don't deserve to live because they're muggleborn's. Killing is wrong, Theo, I definitely know that, I do, but they are worse than us, they are worse than us in more ways than one. Muggleborn's didn't ask for this hatred, they didn't ask to fall victims to the vile thoughts of a pureblood," she soon sighed, shaking her head, "I don't want to put you in danger, I'm not asking you to help me-"
He cut her off, her face between his hands as she looked at him and soon did he press his lips to hers, his hand tangled in her hair as they shared passionately a kiss able to mess with both of their heads, "we are in this together, Estella Pettigrew, I will not leave you now and I will never leave you, ever. You mean more to me than anyone in this world ever has, you - you came into my world so unexpectedly, like it was meant to happen, like I was meant to meet you, and I'm not letting you go that easily, we're just going to need some help."
"What kind of help?" she frowned, her head titled and her heart swelling.
"Muggle help."