In the morning, Brynjar and Eirik woke me up. They were hungry, I started to breastfeed them when Largertha entered the room.
"Ivar has arrived, and Ragnar is dead." She says crying.
"How? What happened?" Tears were starting to form in my eyes.
"They went to England to revenge a settlement that King Ecbert destroyed, and I do not know anything else." She cried even more, with a shaky voice.
"Largertha, I know that is not comforting but he is in Vahalla now." I say cursing at myself for repeat the same words that people told me when my mother died.
"I know, that is the only thing that does not make me go crazy." She gives a little smile between the tears falling on her cheek.
"Now get dressed, I believe that Ivar and Ubbe will not come here. Let's get outside, Sigurd asked for you." She quickly changed her tone, to the confident one that I was used to hear.
"I will, let me finish breastfeeding them, and we will go outside." I told her with a smile on my face.
I asked the slave to hold them while I got dressed, I put a purple dress and I braid my hair. I grab Brynjar and the slave is with Eirik. We walk outside and I went to see Sigurd, he grabs Eirik from the slave and starts to play with them.
There was music and laughter all over the room, Brynjar and Eirik were laughing at Sigurd playfulness.
Suddenly I heard a commotion on the room, and I had a bad feeling about it. Sigurd puts Eirik in my left arm and went to see what happened, but somebody stops him, putting a sword at his throat.
My whole body froze, the boys started to cry and I could not do anything. The slave grabs them off my arms and went to the room quickly, I was surprised to see her reaction.
I got up to see what was going on but a man puts an axe at my throat, I could not move, I was scared for my life but at the same time relieved to know that my sons were out of danger.
Suddenly the door opens and I see Ubbe and Ivar, walking towards Largertha. They wanted to kill her, I was scared because I knew that Largertha could easily kill both of them. But I also knew that she would hesitate to kill Ivar, because he is the men I love and he is the father of my children.
Largertha did not move until they were close to the throne, then she got up and grab her sword. I was terrified, the woman that I love like a mother and the man I love were about to fight. Ubbe and Ivar did not see me, they were so focused on killing Largertha that they did not see anything else.
Before any of them could do anything else, the door opened. I saw Björn and Hvitserk, I sigh with relief knowing that Björn would never allow his brothers to kill his mother.
"If you are going to kill her brothers, you will have to kill me too." Björn says with a calm voice, looking at Ivar and Ubbe.
"Maybe we should." Ivar says with a serious tone.
"Shut up." Ubbe hisses.
"She killed our mother." Ubbe says with anger and sadness in his voice.
"I know and you want revenge, I would wanted too. But right now we need to revenge our father, that is why I came back." His tone was calm and confident.
Largertha puts her sword on the ground and Ubbe did the same with his axe, I could see that Ivar was suffering. He lost his father and now his mother, this was too much for him.
The man removed his axe off my throat, Largertha went to see if I was fine. Making Ubbe, Ivar and Hvitserk notice my presence. They were shocked and surprised to see me there. All of them got close to me worried that I might be hurt, Ubbe tried to hug me but I pushed him away.
He looks confused at me and says: "What happened? What are you doing here? We went to see you in Hederby but Largertha said that you were not there."
I realized that Ivar and Sigurd did not told them about their visit to Hederby, I look at Ivar and his eyes were soft and full of worry.
"I know, I did not wanted to see any of you. I was hidden, I heard your conversation with Largertha." I say with my hand on my throat.
"Why? We thought that you were dead, or worst." Hvitserk says, hurt with my harsh words.
They betrayed me, I would not even bother to explain myself. But before I could say anything to them, the slave runs at my direction and says with a trembling voice: "Steena, Eirik needs you."
I look at her with widened eyes, nothing was in my mind that moment. I ran towards my room and I saw Eirik crying, it broke my heart see him like this.
"Since those boys entered the room, he is crying. I thought that he might be hungry." She says and grabs Brynjar, he was not crying.
I knew that he was not hungry, he heard his father's voice. In that moment I realized that Brynjar and Eirik needed to know their father. With time Eirik got tired of crying and he fell asleep.
I put him in bed and I heard screams at the door.
"I need to enter, get out of my way." That voice, I knew that is was Ivar.
I walk to the door and I opened, the two shieldmaiden left, giving me and Ivar some privacy. He scans my body, and sighs relieved.
I look at him confused and say: "What are you doing here? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You are fully clothed, the same clothes that you were using before." His voice were full of happiness.
Then I realized that the slave said Eirik's name, he must thought that it was a man. But I was going to play innocent with him, I need him to say it.
"Of course I am, why I would not be?" I say with a little harsh tone.
"I heard the slave say that a man needs you, I thought that you were here with him. I needed to know that if was true." His tone was calm and soft.
"No Ivar, I never been with other man. I told that night, you were the first man in my life, I was hoping that you would be last." I say softly to him, his face lights up.
"Can I speak to you? Can we go to the beach?" He asks with a smile on his face.
I nodded and I followed him to the beach. I sat on the sand and I look at him: "What do you want to speak to me?" My tone was neutral.
"I am sorry. For the way that I treated you in Hederby, I was blind with rage. When I saw you and Sigurd leaving a bedroom, I could not control myself." He says with regret on his face and voice.
"You hurt me Ivar, you called me a whore multiple times. You broke my heart." I almost cried in front of him.
"I know, I am so sorry. When we got back, Sigurd told me that he never touched you. I was so deep in regret, I was going to Hederby but my father came back. And did not had the time, but now that you are here I can apologize to you." He puts his forehead on my shoulder.
"I forgive you Ivar." I said with a soft tone.
He looks at me excited and he grabs my hands and kisses my knuckles: "Thank you, I will not let you down. I made mistakes but now I am ready, I am ready to say to you what I should have said a long time ago."
I was confused with words, not understanding what he meant.
"Ivar what are you..."
"I love you." He says looking in my eyes, I scanned his face to see if it was true. It was, he meant that.
I felt like I was drowning with so much happiness, the words that I thought that Ivar would never say to me, the love that I thought that he never felt for me.
With tears in my eyes I say to him: "I love you too Ivar."
He smiles brightly at me and kiss me, I responded to the kiss. It was so good to kiss Ivar again, his soft lips on mine. I put my hands on his hair, afraid that this moment was a dream.
I was determined to tell him about our sons, we could be a family again. Like Aslaug said, I was going to be happy with the man I love.
After we ran out of breath, I put my forehead against his and I whisper to him: "There are two people that I want you to know."
"Who are they?" He asks curious.
"Well, come with me and you will see." I smile at him.
"Ivar?" A voice says softly behind us, I knew that voice. Margrethe.
He looks at her with anger in his eyes, I smile at myself with his reaction.
"What do you want?" He hissed.
Before she could answer I look at her, I froze when I saw her. She was with child. I look at Ivar shocked.
"I thought that you might want to know that your child is kicking." She says putting her hands on belly.
I look at her and then I look at Ivar, I was full of rage. I slap him with all my force, he did not move.
"You say that you love me, but you only say this to take advantage of me. You have no kindness in your and you take advantage of my feelings for you, but I will promise you Ivar the Boneless, you will never touch me again. You can be with this slave, never speak to me again. I hate you." I say to him with anger in my voice and tears falling down my face.
I ran to my room, and I know that I will never let him be a part of the life of my children, he already has a child. From this moment, my children did not have a father.