(That's not in reference to all straight folk! Just the Straights™, if you know what I mean)
COURAGE
Courage. A big word with a heavy meaning. Courage can be hard to muster.
Courage is courage, though: whether you are gathering the courage to order food, or to ask your crush out. This will specifically be about courage in coming out.
One thing about courage has been confused. Courage is not having fear. Courage is being brave, even though you are afraid. You have to be ready to come out. Having fear is part of coming out, and part of life.
I've said this, but you have to be ready to come out. You have to be ready to plan for what is going to happen. Most importantly, you have to be alright with you. Some times that is the hardest part. Trusting yourself and accepting yourself can be the most difficult (even as the author of this book, I can say I struggle with this). You have to be (keyword) confident in yourself.
Ahh! Confidence! An Ugly beast, it is!
You have to build up your confidence in order to come out. You are you! You are awesome! No matter what your sexuality is, or what your gender is, have faith in who you are. Have faith in your coming out plans. If anything happens, you still have the community.
If you even have to, practice! Practice makes perfect!
You can practice on friends, teachers, neighbors, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, anyone!
A few small confidence tips:
- Listen to a favorite song to pump yourself up (jam out!)
- Look in the mirror each day, and say your name and sexuality/gender (Ex: I am J, I'm Asexual).
- Make a list of things you love about yourself, and put it where you can see it each day!
- Ask friends what their favorite thing about you is
- Don't hate yourself, or put yourself down.
- Talk to someone! Maybe even someone new in this book!
If you have more confidence tips, list them here for everyone!
UNDERSTANDING
If you have come out, and people ask too many questions, or don't understand, there are a few ways to deal with that.
A snappy way would be to have a few cards on hand with definitions or your sexuality or gender on it to read off. If it is your parents, write it out, and write out some experiences you've had to prove it. Even take scientific research if you want!! (I've included a video in the top to help, or use as a reference. [by vlogbrothers!!])
I would always have a definition on hand, and maybe even a celebrity or famous person with your sexuality or gender.
Most of the time, people need to let it all sink in. Don't badger people, and let them ask questions. Don't be offended by their questions (unless they are clearly malicious). If your family is asking a simple question about you, don't get upset. Family usually needs time to figure it all out, just like you did.
Always have an open mind.
If you need simple definitions, google your gender or sexuality and "definition," or refer to my part titled "Several Sexualities and Genders" (something like that, it is one of the first chapters of this book).
Like I always say, let me know if you have questions, or want assistance in anything in this field. Drop some tips here if you have any, too!!
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I hope all of that helps. Let me know if you want something else along these lines in a chapter (if you have already suggested, I have a running list!!).
Also, my inbox is also open if you want help in practicing, planning coming out, or building up confidence. (If you want me to message you first because you are shy, or afraid, or anything else, let me know in the comments!)
Have a great day!