Clarity, peace, serenity. That's what I needed.
It's time to be a big girl now. And big girls don't cry.
Since that time in the club, I did not speak to Carissa. Harry kept sending me messages I ignored.
The smell of his skin lingers on me now, haunting me like a ghost. And he was probably with someone else right now. I need some shelter of my own protection.
Maybe I've got to get a move on with my life. I had to take the baby steps till I'm full grown. Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they? And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay.
As much as it hurts, I had to get away from him for a while.
And I knew someone that could help me with that.
+
"Hey, Alex. It's Anna... Erm, I know you're out of town right now but.. I would like to see you soon. Is that ok to you?"
"Oh, hey, Anna. Such a surprise to see you calling. But yeah, of course! I would love to. Does it sound good to meet on Friday night?"
I should be excited about it. And I wasn't at all.
"Yeah! What time?" I asked back.
"9 pm?"
"Perfect."
"Well, I have to go. See ya on Friday, gorgeous!"
I couldn't even reply back. But I was glad I couldn't because I was speechless. He still liked me, after all I have done to him.
I sent a text message to Carissa telling her what I did and she replied right after sending it.
Carissa: why did you do that? don't you see you're playing with both harry and alex? honestly anna, lately i don't recognize you. you did not use to be like that.
Anna: well what do you expect me to do? what would you do in my place, carissa?
Carissa: I told you from the start this wasn't a good idea. now look the mess you're in!!
Carissa: anyways i gtg. chat soon
Frustrated and angry at myself for keeping fucking things up, I threw the phone on the bed and covered my face with my hands, trying to erase all the problems.
I just wanted to call Harry, apologize and tell Alex I did not like him. I never did and I won't like him. But then again, I would hurt everyone's feelings.
I did not like the person I became. And the worst was I didn't even know when I did become like this.
I was afraid I lost myself and couldn't find me back.
hmu on -> harryvanghoe.tumblr.com