Here I was, about to go in my first year of uni and many things have changed. Harry was dating the brunette teacher, whose name was Kendall and all I could do was look at how happy they seemed.
Carissa was dating Alex's dad, and they were both really happy.
On the other hand, Alex left to go to the city to become an actor, as he was really angry with me and Carissa because we both played with him and his feelings just to get to his relatives.
And I was alone. Just like in the beginning.
It seemed I was made to be alone. But right now I did not feel like dating again in a while.
I was about to achieve one of my goals and become a translator, which would mean I would never get to see Harry again. And that was part of my pain because as much as it hurts seeing him with his partner, the thought of never seeing him again hurts even more.
And here I was, a day before attending to my first class, in front of the computer with the teacher crush community blog open and about to post something I have had in my mind for long now.
I thought about all the lingering glances across hallways that made me believe it was more than I once thought.
I suddenly remember this one time that we spent some time and he hugged me goodbye then I started walking home. And I suddenly realized that his scent was on my hair. It was nothing special. Just this little moment of realization. It's irreplaceable.
And I started writing.
I feel like this is the end of the worst movie I've ever seen. Or let's say had to watch. So yeah what can I say? It's over. It's finally over now. That's it. I always knew it would end like this, but actually being in this situation is way worse than I thought it would be.
He taught me many things. So many things he wasn't even supposed to. Yeah sure, he taught me some forms and shit, but I'll probably forget them in a few months.
More important is that he taught me how PAINFUL unrequited love can be. He taught me how confused I can get and how hard it is to hide it. He taught me what actual sadness feels like. How helpless and hopeless I can possibly get. These things I'll remember my entire life. I'll always know that there was this one teacher who turned my world upside-down. Yeah, maybe I'll forget some details about him, how his voice sounds like, how his face looks like or maybe I'll even forget his name. But I could never forget him as a human being and what I experienced because of him.
This blog became like an "Internet best friend" to me. Someone I could tell everything without getting judged. I was able to write down what went on in my mind. It helped me. It didn't help me to get over him, but it helped me to feel less weird. Thanks to you guys for always being there for me! I mean at the end of the day we're all just human beings trying to live the best way we possibly can, right? It's just a fact that we have feelings. Even for the wrong people. That's how life is, I guess.
I feel bad for the teachers. Imagine this is the job you've always wanted, you're so happy until some 17-year-old edge lord decides she likes you. Imagine finding this out, putting a lot of pressure on someone who shouldn't have to deal with that. Imagine the dirty looks. When you post your shit on tumblr you're actively encouraging paedophilia and influencing young kids who find this shit all because you didn't tag properly. And btw liking older men is fine as long as you are above the age of 18 and s/he is not some who taught you.
I will not delete this blog. I don't know if I'll post anything new yet. But it'll definitely get quieter here. If you still want to message me, you can totally do that. I still can give u guys some advice. I mean, I went through this for like 3 yrs? I'm kind of an expert now.
Love,
Anna.
The very next day I went to the high school centre to take all my documents and stuff to bring to uni, and I saw Harry there.
I watched him at a distance from across the hall. Looking at the handsome man I thought I could call mine. Looking at the beautiful human being that I could never grasp... again.
THE END
@ bitches i have a new version coming soooooo you won't get rid of me in a while *evil laughter*.
OR DO YOU WANT A SEQUEL?
also, i wanted to apologize for the trashy story and this shitty end. y'all deserved more and this story also deserved more, but i wanted to give it a real end. and the moral of the story is written in the "letter" anna wrote for her followers. she learned the lesson and i hope y'all do, too.
i know this is fiction, but sometimes people take things too seriously and i didn't want to give anyone hopes on getting together with their teacher. sometimes a crush on our teacher means we truly respect that person for what they know and what they can offer to us. this is a reminder they're still people with private lives and, we getting in the middle of their job and private life is such a huge mistake.
i hope i didn't bore you to death, and see you soon.
find me on harryvanghoe.tumblr.com