"Can I ask you something?"
Niall and I had been laying on the ground for what seemed like ages, in utter silence; finally, he cleared his throat and asked the question.
Squinting through the darkness, I raised my eyebrows at him. "Ask away."
I could hear him shuffling around in the grass, drawing himself closer to me. I couldn't manage to swallow the lump in my throat as my body became aware of his close proximity. His hand brushed against my arm as he shifted to his side. "Why did you leave for a year?"
I sighed deeply and bit my bottom lip. Luckily for me, Niall wasn't able to see the tears swelling in my eyes. My voice was shaky as I began. "I was in a wreck about a year ago," I paused, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, I continued, but could feel his steady gaze watching me.
"Spenser's mom--"
"Madelie," Niall whispered.
"Yes, Madelie. She sent us to the store to get buns or something. At first, it was only Spenser and I going..." I took another deep breath, the lump growing. "But then Spenser's brothers, Beau and Zach, wanted to come too... Right as we got in Spenser's car, Mara and Wyatt joined in."
Tears stung my eyes as I continued to tell him the infamous tale of our departure. When I reached the part of the story where we came upon Hayes in his truck, I began to sob. Deep, shuddering breaths escaped my lips as I struggled to stand. Rubbing the tears from my eyes, I walked blindly away, unsure of where I was going.
I heard Niall's footsteps along the pavement, a few paces back. I walked a little farther before stopping, another sob escaping. My legs gave out at the knees and I began to tumble towards the ground. Niall's arms snaked around my waist just before I met the rocky road. Pulling me towards him, he pulled me into an embrace as I cried into his chest. I was so caught up in the moment, I clung to him with desperation.
We stood like that for a little while; my face buried in the tee beneath his jacket, his rigth arm around my waist as his left stroked my mass of curls. "I didn't mean to make you cry," he mumbled. "If I had known--"
"Don't worry about it," I said, pulling away from him. Running a hand across my face, I sighed. "I have to talk about it eventually... You just happen to be the first person, other than Spenser or Mara, that I've talked to about it."
"What an honor," He laughed. "Being your first."
A flush creeped up my neck as I laughed.
"That sounded so wrong, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," I smiled. "I've grown up around the Cristoffe boys my entire life, I've heard much worse."
"Touche," he replied. My eyes were adjusting in the darkness and I could faintly see Niall's profile. He reached his pocket for something, which turned out to be a lighter. I watched as he lit up a cigarette, the flame licking at his face.
For the briefest moment, the light lit up half of his face. His bewildered gaze was on me, his eyes unmoving. "You smoke," i found myself asking.
"Yep."
"That's a nasty habit to have." I took a step towards him, swatting at the cigarette. He tossed the lighter back into his pocket and intercepted my hand in one fluid motion. His firm grip tightened, the cigarette glowing from his lips.
"I only do it when I'm anxious," he replied, the cigarette bobbing.
"Why are you anxious," I whispered, taking a step towards him. You can't like him, I told myself. You have Spenser, he's all you need. If I needed Spenser as much as I thought, then why was I off with Niall? And why hadn't Spenser come looking for me yet?
"Well," he mumbled, taking the cigarette into his hand. "The blonde I was with? Well, she's pissed at me."
"Why?"
"Because I heard you and Spenser fighting--"
"Practically everyone did," I interrupted.
"But not everyone came after you when you stalked off..." His voice trailed off as he tossed the cigarette to the ground at his feet. I stomped on it with the toe of my boot.
"Thank you," I said.
"For what?"
"Coming after me," I replied, sighing. "I guess it means something when a stranger follows to make sure I'm okay, but my own boyfriend won't." Shuffling my feet, I shuddered as an early-summer breeze wafted through the air.
"You could?" I didn't have time to respond before he slid out of his jacket and tossed it across my shoulders. His hands froze on my arms, his breath catching. I could feel the distance growing shorter, he was only inches away...
"Don't," I whispered, placing my hand on his cheek. He froze, his lashes skimmed my forehead when he finally raised his head.
"One day," he whispered to himself, his words not meant for my ears.
The sudden buzz in my pocket caused me to jerk. Pulling my phone out, the bright light temporarily blinded me as I struggled to read my texts. There were two, one from Spenser and one from Mara.
From: Spenser! :)
I'm leaving.
"No surprise," I grumbled, flipping onto the next message.
From: Maaaarrrra! :)
Hey, not feeling well. I'll leave the window unlocked. XO, Mar.
"Well, that's just great," I huffed, slipping the phone back in my pocket.
"What's up," Niall asked.
"Well, everyone left me--"
"I can give you a ride," he interrupted. Was it just me, or did he sound happy?
"What about your girlfriend?"
"She's not my girlfriend," he said sheepishly, I couldn't help but want to actually see him, not some shadow with a voice.
"She's not?" Why did I feel so... giddy, about that? I can't be happy about that..
"Nah. We kissed a few times and hung out a little bit, nothing more I swear--"
"You don't have to explain yourself, Ni." Ni? Where had that come from?
"Do you want to go somewhere and just talk," he asked. "So I could actually see your face," he added.
I couldn't help the smile from spreading across my lips as I nodded, "I thought you'd never ask."
"You do realize that you have to get on, right?"
We'd made our way back to Niall's motorcycle and I couldn't bring myself to get on. Getting back in a car with friends was one thing, but getting on a motorcycle with someone I barely knew was another.
My mother would have killed me if she found out that I was even in that particular situation... practically abandoned in the woods with strangers, stuck having to ride a motorcycle.
"Are you good at driving this thing," i asked, nudging the back tire with my foot. Surely he'd know why I was so hesitant?
As if a realization set in mind, he climbed off the cycle and opened one of the storage compartments. I briefly ccaught a glimpse of the helmet as he handed it to me. "Put this on."
I did as I was told and watched him climb back on. "You aren't wearing one," I asked, dread settling in the pit of my stomach.
"I only have one helmet with me. I'd rather you be okay if something happ--" he coughed awkwardly. "I promise to take care of you."
Smiling, I climbed on behind Niall, my arms clinging around his waist. "Please be careful," I whispered into his ear as the motorcycle roared to life.
"I won't let anything happen to you," he shouted over the motor's roar. I buried my face in his back and sighed. He won't hurt me, I couldn't help but think, now would Spenser?
"Cahlan... you okay?"
I was barely aware that the motorcycle had stopped. My eyes were closed tightly, my arms still wrapped around his body. I was frozen, my brain wouldn't command my legs, arms, eyes, anything, to move.
"Cahlan?" Niall shifted his weight, slipping off the cycle with ease. My arms dropped and I slid forward. "Whoa there," he laughed. "Can't have you falling off. Hey," He lifted my chin with his index finger, causing me to open my eyes.
"Hmm," was all I could muster up.
"What's wrong?" His pale eyes searched mine, brows furrowing with concern.
"I've never rode..." I trailed off, realizing we were parked outside of a house. "Where are we?"
"My house," he replied simply. "It's getting ready to storm. We wouldn't make it to Mara's in time, we'd be stranded in the rain anyway."
"Oh," I glanced upward at the dark sky, clouds obscuring everything from view. Maybe he was right?
"We'll just wait it out, then I'll take you to her house." As if on cue, a downpour erupted. Drops pounded against us as we ran along the sidewalk and stopped just outside the front door.
"Do you live alone,"I shouted over a thunder roar.
"No," he shouted back, shoving a key into the door. Darkness welcomed us as we stepped inside. "My parents are working and my younger sister's at a friend's house."
"Oh, what do your parents do," I asked, watching as he flipped on the lights.
I laughed slightly at the sight. Niall looked so.. different. His hair had looked gold by the fire, and in that moment it was so much paler; disheveled and wet from the rain, his light locks were standing on end. I felt myself staring at the muscles exposed beneath his soaked shirt, each indentation visible.
"Take a picture, it lasts longer," he teased, my eyes automatically drifted up to meet his.
They were a peculiar color. Not quite blue and not quite grey; they were an interesting combination, no doubt. Our eyes remained locked for what seemed like ages, before he frowned. "Spenser's going to kill one of us when he finds out you're here."
"Who says he has to find out," I said coyly, raising an eyebrow. Niall's jaw dropped slightly, brows furrowing. "I'm just kidding!" I laughed, shaking my head at him.
A smile played across his lips as he shook his head. "If you get tired, the couch is this way," he pointed at a doorway behind him. "I'll wake you up if you do, no one will know you've been missing half the night."
"If there's one thing I've learned about you, it's that you like to cover up your tracks," I stated, eyes narrowing.
"You've gotta do it sometime, especially in this town," was all he said before disappearing through the doorway. I followed behind him, practically oblivious to the large room. I plopped down on the large couch and closed my eyes.
"Want anything to drink," Niall shouted from another room.
"No," I shouted back, stifling a yawn.
I hadn't planned on falling asleep, but that obviously didn't stop me. A nudge against my foot caused me to jolt awake, jumping up from the couch. "Where am--"
"Sleep well," NIall teased, laughing. For a moment I didn't say anything, I stared at his more neat appearance. He'd changed out of his soaked tee shirt and jeans and into a white long-sleeved shirt and lighter jeans; his flaxen hair was still a tad messy, falling every which way on his head.
"Yes," I grumbled, stretching onto my toes.
He smirked, shaking his head. "It finally stopped raining. Mara's waiting for you."
Mara. My eyes grew wide, "Have you talked to her?"
"Yeah. I used your cell phone to call her, she was a little... preoccupied when I spoke to her." A flush crept up his neck and he cleared his throat. "I tol dher not to rush, that you were out anyway."
"Oh," was all I could muster up. Did Spenser ever call? "What time is it?"
"Only about midnight," he replied.
All of a sudden I was aware that I was still wearing his jacket, my clothes were soaked, hair falling out of its pony tail, makeup smeared. How horrible I must have looked!
"Can I use your bathroom," I asked, shrugging out of his jacket.
"Yep, this way."
I followed him down a dark, narrow hallway until we reached the bathroom. Once inside, I grabbed a rag from the closet and soaked it in water. I was in the middle of washing my face, whenever there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," I called, sliding the rag across my face one last time.
"I was just seeing if you wanted to put these on," Niall said, opening the door. He was holding a large tee shirt and shorts in his arms. "I can dry your clothes and give them back."
"Alright." I took the clothes from him and watched as he retreated, shutting the door behind him. For a moment I didn't move, I stood there clutching the clothes. Why did this feel so natural?
"Yes Spenser. I'm going to take her to Mara's. Stop screaming, Spense--"
Niall's eyes grew wide as I walked back into the living room. He was sprawled out on the couch, his cell phone pressed to his ear. "Now that you mention it, she just walked into the room."
"Can I talk to him," I asked, reaching for the phone. Niall recoiled, shrinking into the couch. My hand missed the phone and slammed into the side of his face. I couldn't help but laugh as Niall released the phone and sat up.
"You'll pay," he mouthed, eyes narrowing.
"Hello," I said, sitting down beside Niall.
"Cahlan?" I could hear the iciness in my name, the way he practically spit it out.
"Yes?"
"WHy are you with him," Spenser asked.
I glanced over at Niall, he didn't look very happy. With his arm tossed on the couch behind me, his jaw was clenched, his breathing rapid. "He's the only one who stayed," My eyes never left Niall; he must have sensed me watching him, his pale eyes shifted to me.
"There were plenty of other poeple," Spenser hissed.
"Spenser, chill out--"
"No, I won't. Did you sleep with him Cahlan?" Spenser's question caught me off guard and I couldn't mask the disgusted scoff that escaped my lips.
"No," I said slowly, gritting my teeth. "I would never do that to you."
"What did he say," Niall whispered, a worried expression crossing his face.
"He thinks I slept with you," I said flatly. Niall shook hs head and laughed. "He would think that."
"I heard you did," Spenser mumbled. "I heard he went after you and you guys did it."
"I barely know him," I rolled my eyes. "And you honestly think I'd lose my virginity rolling around in the mud? I don't think so."
"Whatever," Spenser spat. A muffled noise erupted on his end of the line.
"Spenser, what are you doing," I heard a voice ask. A female voice.
"Who is that," I asked, my voice raising. I could feel Niall watching me, probably puzzled yet again. "Spenser Cristoffe, tell me who she is!"
"Finally caught," Niall whispered.
" What," I turned to him, eyes narrowing.
"Oh babe, that's nobody," Spenser said into the phone.
"Liar," I shouted. "Who is she?!" Spenser... was he cheating on me? Or, was he cheating on her with me?
"Her name's Melanie," Niall answered, biting his bottom lip.
"What is Niall telling you? It's not true!" Spenser shouted, "Don't believe him."
"He was with her before you left last summer," Niall continued. "She lives two towns over."
"Cahlan, lsiten to me--"
I interrupted Spenser, my heart shattering. "please tell me you never cheated..."
The silence both in the room and over the phone gave me an answer. I broke down into a sob as Spenser cleared his throat, "I..."
"I'm so sorry," Niall whispered beside me, his arms pulling me to him. I cried into his shirt, pain running through me. I'd always known there was a reason I never heard from Spenser while I was away... That reason's name was Melanie.