Boom. Boom. Boom.
Even brighter than the Moon, moon, moon.
That's what firework explosions look like right?
Well, at least to Katy Perry...
Mushroom cloud.
Destruction.
Loss of lives.
That's what real explosions are like, right?
Hiroshima.
Every single explosion shown in the movies.
Walls punched.
Feelings hurt.
Tears.
That's what some other peoples explosions are like.
Anger.
Sadness.
Stress.
What about my explosion?
My timer is ticking.
I can feel it coming.
I am unsteady.
Will mine just be screaming into a pillow and crying?
Like mini explosions have been before?
Will it be breaking down over something stupid?
Like in sixth grade?
Will it be an explosion on someone?
Will I hurt someone?
Is this hurting myself?
I try to let it out.
But you can't make a bomb explode by telling it to.
I'm on a timer.
And I don't know when it will go off.
It's ticking.
It's getting louder and louder.
It's driving me insane.
I'm scared.
I don't want to hurt anyone.
Including myself.
But its an explosion.
I'm a bomb.
Fire.
Hurt.
Destruction.
Tears.
Screams.
Fists.
Red faces.
Bloody knuckles.
Walls crumbling.
Emotions crumbling.
Numbness.
Recovery.
Small smiles.
Slow happiness.
Laughter... eventually.
Relaxed hands.
Walls being built.
Band-aids.
Feeling.
This is terrifying.
This numbness.
The ticking.
Not knowing when.
But I am oh so ready.
I want the numbness to go away.
I want to feel again.
I'm ready to feel again.
I'm ready to smile.
Bring on the explosion.
Bring on the tears.
Bring.
It.
On.
I think I'm ready.
Boom. Boom. Boom.
I want to be brighter than the moon.
I want to sparkle like the stars.
I want to be a beautiful firework.
But right now I am a dangerous one.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick.....
Boom.