AN: This took me forever. Man balancing their strange relationship is hard work even in writing. Hehehe I hope you like it! More on the way soon!
Harry clasped his hands together and attempted his best puppy dog eyes.
"Please!" he begged.
Apparently he wasn't very good at the puppy thing because Dee just grimaced and shook her head.
"No way in hell am I going to be the third wheel on your date with Draco Malfoy."
Harry blanched.
"Date? It's not a date! People are coming over! Lots of people!"
"Uh huh," Deirdre said. "Like who?"
"You?" Harry said hopefully.
She shook her head.
Harry sighed.
"Hermione and Ron will come," he said firmly.
She smiled knowingly.
"Ah, a double date."
"It's not a--"
"Harry if that wasn't a botched attempt at asking someone on a out, then I don't know what is."
Harry sighed.
"If other people come, will you too?"
"Get a firm yes from someone and maybe I'll agree," she said.
Harry clapped.
"Great!"
Harry hurried to the back room and pulled off his healers robe, apparating to Ron and Hermione's flat the second it was hanging on its hook.
Hermione yelped at his sudden appearance right in front of her.
"Oh Harry," she said, clasping a hand to her heart. "You scared the living daylights out of me."
She continued on past him to the kitchen with a bag of groceries in arm.
Harry followed her but before he could say anything she took a good look at him with her sharp brown eyes and frowned.
"What is it?"
"Will you and Ron come over for dinner tomorrow?" Harry asked earnestly.
Hermione frowned at him.
"What's the occasion?"
"No occasion," Harry said. "Just dinner."
Hermione put down her bags slowly and gave Harry a look like she was seeing straight through him but just as she opened her mouth for a probing question, Ron walked in.
"Harry!"
He clapped him on the shoulder.
"How's it going?"
"Good, good," Harry said, grateful for the distraction. "Wanna come by tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?"
He groaned.
"Yes but mum will hex us if we cancel again. Hermione already did twice on her."
She gave Ron a look, brows drawing together.
"Well maybe you should remember to tell me these plans before I make important meetings for work."
"I told you!"
"You did not!"
"Alright," Harry said, backing away. "I can see you're pretty busy so I'll just--"
"Wait, Harry," Hermione said, remembering her original target. "Why are you so eager for us to come for dinner?"
"No reason," Harry mumbled. "Just having some people over and wanted you to join."
"People? Which people?"
Harry considered lying before remembering that his friend could more or less read his mind.
"Just Malfoy at the moment," he said nonchalantly.
Ron immediately howled with laughter.
"Progressed to dates now, have you? The physical relationship wasn't enough?"
Hermione snorted before managing to school her features.
"Why don't you try Luna?" she asked. "She was just saying she hasn't seen you in a while last time I ran into her."
"Great idea!"
O_'O
"Harry! How lovely to see you!"
Luna beamed down at Harry, who was hovering with his head in her fireplace.
She was carrying a large metal contraption that looked like some sort of torture device.
"Er, Luna, what is that thing?"
"Oh this?" she asked as though just remembering she was holding it. "It's for the garden. To keep the Swufflemums out of the house, you see."
Harry nodded.
"Ah, of course."
"Would you like to help me set it up?"
Harry shook his head.
"Actually, I'm trying to collect dinner guests right now. Are you interested?"
"Oh I'd love to join you for dinner!"
"Really?" Harry asked, relieved. "Great! It's tomorrow at seven."
Her face fell.
"Oh, tomorrow? I have a date."
"Oh..."
Harry waited for more but Luna didn't supply him with any names.
He sighed, nerves rising in him again and feeling less self-conscious with Luna, he explained.
"I invited Draco Malfoy over thinking more people would come but now everyone's busy."
Luna tilted her head thoughtfully.
"Have you asked Neville?"
"No," Harry said. "I'll try him next."
Luna smiled.
"Well, perhaps next time."
Harry nodded, taking the dismissal.
"Right, for sure. Good luck with the--"
"Swufflemums," she said patiently.
"Right."
"Oh and Harry," she said over her shoulder before he pulled his head back into his flat. "Have fun on your date."
"What? No--"
Harry watched her retreating back and sighed heavily.
He sat back into his flat long enough for the fire to take him to Neville's house the next time he leaned his head into it.
To his surprise, Neville and Seamus were animatedly discussing the merits of blondes versus brunettes when Harry's head arrived in the fireplace.
Harry raised a brow, wondering how this had even gotten started while Seamus began a tirade and then stopped mid sentence when his eyes landed on Harry.
"Oh, Harry," Neville said following Seamus' gaze. "Why don't you come in?"
"Yes! We need a second opinion, blondes or brunettes?"
"Er," Harry chuckled awkwardly. "I'm just here to see if either of you want to come to mine for dinner tomorrow night?"
"No can do," Seamus said. "I have to work."
"Neville?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Sorry, I have a date actually," Neville said turning pink.
"Oh?" Harry asked, drawing the obvious conclusion... Wait, so then why did Luna suggest Neville?
Neville shrugged but didnt give any names.
"It's a first date," he said. "I don't want to jinx it."
"Dean might be free," Seamus suggested.
"Alright, I'll give him a visit," Harry lied.
As he began to sit back into his room he heard Seamus chuckle.
"Don't know why I asked him, he's obviously into red heads."
Fully in his flat now, Harry sighed.
He hadn't actually dated since their break up almost two years ago. He didn't even know what he was "into" any more. Aside from work, of course.
For a brief moment, Harry actually considered inviting Dean over, but then Ginny might come along.
Harry shuddered.
His ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend, and Draco Malfoy. As if he could possibly get a more awkward group of people into one room.
No. He knew a lot of people. He would just have to contact them.
Each and every one.
O_'O
Harry wiped his damp hands on his jeans and took a slow breath, trying to relax.
He should have cancelled. He'd barely got a wink of sleep after exhausting all of his contacts to no avail.
Again, Harry almost scrambled for paper to write a hasty excuse and cancel but for the millionth time their conversation in the sitting room hit Harry over the head like a tonne of bricks, reminding him why he'd wanted to do this in the first place.
Draco didn't care of he spent the rest of his life in pain. He didnt understand why anyone would care. He probably didn't have a single friend, no meaningful relationships, no sense of self-worth...
Then again, what the hell was Harry supposed to do about that?
It was almost seven. Any moment now--
The fire burst to life in green flames and Draco Malfoy stepped through in an ominous display of class. His deep blue robes and shining black cloak didn't so much as shift but he still took a moment to straighten them before glancing up at Harry who was standing nervously in the middle of his living room.
Draco gave him a quick once over that made Harry's stomach squirm. He hadn't expected the formal wear. He was only in jeans for merlins sake.
Then Draco glanced around the room, a small frown etching his brows.
"Where is everyone?" he asked slowly.
"Everyone had plans," Harry said awkwardly.
He scratched the back of his head, avoiding looking at Draco.
"I thought we could still eat though--er--so this is my place."
He gestured around and finally managed to look at Draco, who's expression was surprisingly blank.
"It's nice," Draco said, not looking around.
"Thanks," Harry muttered.
He turned toward the kitchen, regretting his every decision in life that had lead to this moment. Magical Therapy Healing? What had he been thinking?!
"Er, I didn't know what you would like to eat, so, since it's just the two of us, I chose pasta. Is that okay?"
He glanced back, glad to see that Draco had followed him.
The other man was looking around with interest at Harry's things. His eyes lingered on the curtains on the window, the small table set for two, the mugs spelled to write uplifting quotes all day long and the decorative ceramic cow that Mrs. Weasley had given him as a house warming present.
The cow winked at Draco and finally, Draco's eyes landed on Harry, just as unreadable as before.
"Pasta is fine," he said.
Harry managed a terse smile.
Well that was good at least. He'd been a little sneaky with his decision, since Draco clearly wasn't eating enough, the least Harry could do was feed him something high calorie and nutritious.
"Great," he said.
They stared at each other for a moment and when it became clear that neither of them was going to say anything, Harry cleared his throat and turned back to the stove.
He scooped a piece of whole wheat fuselli from the water, blew on it and tasted it. Satisfied by the texture, he lifted the pot and turned to the sink where the strainer was waiting and nearly bumped into Draco who, it turned out was peering over Harry's shoulder curiously.
"Careful!"
Draco backed away hastily and Harry poured the water into the sink while his heart raced.
He gave Draco a look and the blond's cheeks pinked.
"I've never seen anyone cook without magic before," he said defensively. "The average witch can do it. Don't tell me it's beyond your skill level?"
Harry did his best to ignore the insult.
"I learned to cook before I started learning magic, that's all."
Draco frowned and Harry caught his mistake at once.
"Potter, you were eleven when you started learning magic."
"I can take your cloak," Harry said. "It's pretty warm in here. Do you want me to hang it up?"
Draco stared at him for a long moment and then finally, pulled his cloak off.
Harry took it and practically ran from the room. He hung it up on the rack by the door and for a moment didn't think he could go back in there. Bringing up his childhood was definitely not the way to dispel the awkwardness.
Sighing, he turned back to the kitchen and found Draco watching him through the doorway like he was expecting Harry to explode at any moment.
Harry grimaced and walked to Draco, stopping when only a foot separated them.
"Look," he said. "I invited you over so that we could start fresh. Get to know each other in a friendlier way than what we are use to. Just because no one else came doesn't mean we can't do that."
Draco didn't say anything.
"I know it's awkward but--"
"It's fine," Draco said and then he actually chuckled. "Merlin Potter, relax. I'm here aren't I? Imagine how awkward it would have been if you were the only guest at your dinner party."
Harry's face heated. Maybe he was wrong after all. Draco's self-worth seemed to be perfectly intact.
"And clearly you haven't hosted many dinner party's," Draco went on. "You haven't offered me a drink."
Harry's blush deepened.
"Right. I have wine, milk, water--"
"Wine will do," Draco said quickly.
Harry opened the bottle of merlot and filled two glasses and finally realized that maybe this was Draco being nice.
Harry glanced at the blond and found him watching him openly. He smiled a little when Harry caught his eye, just a slight tilt of the lip but it made Harry grin despite himself.
He handed Draco a glass and clinked his against it before taking a sip.
Draco followed his lead, watching Harry all the while.
He didn't take his eyes off of Harry the whole time he served the food. He looked at him the same way he'd looked around Harry's kitchen, but somehow, it didn't make Harry self-conscious anymore.
Just the fact that Draco was here, willing to try to move past their strained relationship... It was like their was hope in the world after all.
They sat down across from each other at the table. Harry served Draco more than was probably necessary, and then so he didn't feel bad, served himself just as much.
Draco didn't say anything about the food after the first bite and nothing after the second.
"Do you like it?" Harry asked, biting his lip. "You don't have to eat it if you don't."
Draco raised a brow at him.
"I had no idea you were so insecure, Potter," he said, and then more gently. "It's good."
Harry sighed in relief and began to eat.
"I never cook for people usually," he said by way of explanation.
Draco nodded and they fell into a silence.
Harry refilled their glasses, racking his brain for conversation while he ate.
"Should we try to get to know each other then?" Harry finally asked. "That was the whole point, right? You can tell me something about you and I'll tell you something about me."
Draco rolled his eyes.
"You start," he said.
"Alright," Harry said.
He hadn't expected such immediate agreement and searched for something deep.
"Okay, I've got it. I have a serious sweet tooth."
Draco paused with his glass half way to his lips and gave Harry an incredulous look.
"I know that, Potter. Merlin, everyone knows that. Your diet at Hogwarts consisted of treacle tart and pumpkin juice."
Harry blinked at him.
"I see." He didn't want to point out that most people from the other houses were probably too preoccupied to notice what his diet consisted of. "I do like pumpkin juice."
Draco snorted.
"Thank you for this enlightening information."
"Well what about you?" Harry demanded. "What's something about you that I don't already know?"
Draco thought deeply for a moment and then nodded to himself.
"I use to actually believe that money could buy anything."
Harry nearly choked on his pasta laughing.
When he finally gained control of himself Draco was surprisingly red, glaring at Harry.
"Oh come on," Harry said. "You bought your place on the Slytherin Quidditch team when you were twelve. Literally the first conversation we had, I'm pretty sure you were trying to buy my friendship with how rich your family was. Obviously I know that about you."
Draco's glare intensified.
"This is a stupid game," he snapped.
He took a gulp of wine.
"We're doing it wrong anyway. We should be asking each other things we don't know about each other, not guessing what the other person doesn't know about us."
Harry finally stopped chuckling but his smile wouldn't fade and Draco, looking at him, pursed his lips.
"Okay," Harry said. "So that's my question. Do you really not think that any more?"
"Of course not," Draco said tersely. "Other wise, apparently I would have won every Quidditch match. Alright, It looks like we need to start with the basics. What is your favourite colour?"
"I don't really discriminate," Harry said. "I like all colours."
Draco sighed heavily.
"Of course, Harry Potter's favourite colour is rainbow."
Harry laughed.
"Well what's yours?"
"Green," Draco answered easily.
"Why am I not surprised?"
Draco rolled his eyes and they both fell silent, thinking.
"I've got one," Harry said.
"It's my turn."
"Did you have many pets growing up?" Harry asked, ignoring him.
"Just my owl," Draco said. "I wasn't allowed any pets. You?"
"Same," Harry said.
He pushed away thoughts of the Dursleys and the long list of things he had never been allowed.
"Are you still in touch with anyone from Hogwarts?"
Draco frowned.
"It's my turn Potter," he said.
"You asked me if I had any pets," Harry reminded him.
Draco's frown turned into a scowl.
"I forgot you play dirty," he grumbled. "I met up with Goyle not long ago."
"He's the only one?" Harry asked.
Draco just glared at him until Harry caught on to what he'd done.
"Sorry," he cleared his throat. "After you."
Satisfied, Draco straightened in his chair and polished off his glass of wine before looking Harry in the eyes.
"What happened to the weaslette?"
Harry grimaced. And Draco said Harry played dirty.
It was fine, Draco clearly forgot that Harry had spent years being hounded by reporters.
"What happened to her?" he repeated airily. "Nothing. She's living close to home, she is on the reserve for the Harpies, she's fine."
Draco's eyes narrowed.
"Why is she not fine with you?"
"It's my turn!" Harry said quickly. His heart was racing and he fought for something to ask.
"Do you visit your father?" he blurted.
Draco stiffened and Harry's eyes widened in shock.
He hadn't meant to ask that. He'd just wanted to distract Draco.
For a long moment, they stared at each other and then finally, Harry cleared his throat and took a minute pouring them each a large glass of wine while he wondered if their was a way to back track this conversation or if he should just give up and send Draco home.
"I kept in touch with Blaise for a while," Draco suddenly said. "Pansy too, but we've mostly lost touch by now."
It took Harry a moment to realize that Draco had indeed backtracked, all the way to Harry's previously unanswered question.
Relief and gratitude and surprise flooded Harry all at once.
"What about you?" Draco continued.
Swallowing, Harry nodded.
"Yeah I'm still in touch with a lot of people. The Weasley's, Hermione, Luna, Seamus, Hagrid and Mcgonogal, Neville--"
"I get it," Draco interrupted.
Harry grimaced and looked down at his food, pushing it around a few times.
At least they were trying, he supposed, but for a brief moment there, it had looked like he and Draco could possibly get along, despite the odds.
They finished their meals in silence. Their wine too.
Harry hesitated poring another glass, sure Draco was ready to run home and obliviate this awkward night from his memory.
With a sigh and a determined look on his face, Malfoy surprised Harry yet again by taking the bottle and emptying it between them.
"The answer is no," he said, before Harry could even take a sip. "I don't visit him. I don't talk to him or send him letters."
Harry took a deep gulp of his wine. He felt a little fuzzy from it already and suspected this conversation was only happening because of it.
Malfoy followed his lead, nearly finishing his glass before glancing at Harry as though unsure if he should ask.
"Go ahead," Harry said. "I'm an open book."
Draco swallowed and cleared his throat.
"Alright. My question from before... I'm just wondering how you ended up here, I suppose. I thought you'd be an auror, married and with a few kids by now, but here you are, single in a small flat with your own medical practice."
Harry suddenly regretted encouraging the honesty.
"I was hoping you were going to ask about something hogwarts related," Harry admitted.
Draco didn't say anything and Harry sighed.
"That's a loaded question. I don't even know what to say."
He took a long swallow of his wine, unintentionally finishing the glass while his mind raced.
"You know how you have all these ideas about yourself and then you realize that that's all they are, ideas, they're not reality."
He looked at Draco, finding the other man watching him intently, food and drink forgotten.
"I woke up one day," Harry went on, "and I realized that what I was doing, none of it was what I wanted. It was just all what I thought I should do."
"I think I know that feeling," Draco said.
The honesty in Draco's gaze propelled Harry, despite himself.
"I spent my entire life doing everything that everyone else wanted me to do. Maybe I did it because I felt like I needed to prove my worth or something. Not to mention some of it was just the right thing to do," Harry admitted. "But I don't have to do that anymore."
He bit his lip. He didn't think he'd ever come this clean about the situation before, except one time in a very frank conversation with Hermione after the breakup.
"I realized I was sick of all the excitement," Harry admitted. "I wanted something peaceful, but I still wanted to help people. That's where my carreer came in. And as for the breakup... Ginny wanted more than that."
He rubbed a hand through his hair. After all this time, he still felt like it was wrong to talk about her in any way that could be perceived as negative.
"She's this amazing person," he said. "Full of energy and life. She wants travel and excitement and fun all the time. It's great, but we just didn't fit together anymore."
For a long minute Draco was silent, watching him.
"Well, you are just full of surprises tonight," he finally said. "First of all there's this, which I'm not entirely sure what it is."
He indicated the food.
"It's lentil bolognese," Harry said self-consciously. "I wanted to find something different for you, I thought--"
"Well it's delicious," Draco interrupted. "Then there's the wine, also surprisingly good--"
"Okay, I have some taste--"
"Then there's the fact that this hard-headed person I always knew seems to have become more..."
He trailed off, eyes searching Harry and Harry found his heart racing because he wanted it to be something good. He wanted Draco to think something nice about him, and Merlin, he'd poured his heart out, he deserved it.
"More what?" Harry prompted.
"More selfish," Draco finally said.
Harry flushed and looked away but a hand landed over his on the table and Harry froze.
"It's a good thing," Draco whispered.
Harry swallowed, his eyes landing on theirs on the table and he found he suddenly couldn't stop thinking about what had never been mentioned yet; the reason for Draco's reappearance in his life. The reason he'd showed up at his practice that day.
He turned his hand up and Draco didn't seem surprised when their palms met. He didn't pull his hand back and he didn't look away until Harry spoke.
"What about you?" Harry asked. "What do you do for yourself?"
Draco looked away but before he drew back completely Harry squeezed his hand in his and Draco seemed to reconsider, allowing them to stay entwined at the last second.
Harry knew if anyone could see them now, if Ron could see them, the jokes would literally never end. No one else was here though. Just him and Draco and some strange, vulnerable air between them that Harry didn't completely understand.
Maybe it was nothing more than what Narcissa had told him. Maybe it was all sympathy and Harry wanted to understand and comfort because that was part of his nature. Either way, it felt right to hold Draco's hand and the other man didn't show any interest in letting go.
He was gazing down at them, expression clouded.
"Well, now I know everything about you," Draco eventually said.
Harry snorted.
"You don't know everything about me though," Draco went on a hint smugly. "You got something wrong earlier."
Harry frowned.
"What? No I didn't."
Draco smiled softly and finally looked up at him.
"You did."
He licked his lip, a quick swipe, as though they'd gone dry.
"Back when we first met, I wasn't trying to buy you. I was trying to impress you."
Harry didn't know what to say.
A small smile tugged at his lips and he couldn't suppress it.
"Really?" he asked.
Draco shrugged and finally pulled away, but Harry couldn't let that statement go as easily.
"That's how you tried to impress people back then?"
Draco scowled at him.
"I was eleven," he said. "I quickly upgraded to buying people after that, as we discussed earlier. It worked a lot better."
Harry laughed outright at that.
"So now what do you do to impress?"
"Now?" Draco thought for a moment. "Honestly?"
Harry nodded.
"I mostly just hide in my room and hope no one hexes me."
Harry's brows shot up at the statement, mostly because judging from his last visit, Harry was sure it was true.
The way Draco said it though, like no amount of money would ever be enough again and he was out of ideas, made Harry burst into laughter.
Draco laughed with him and when the chuckles dwindled down, Harry was left shaking his head in amazement.
He hadn't actually expected this dinner to work and yet somehow here they were laughing together.
The conversation was easy after that, both steering away from anything too heavy.
Harry was surprised how many times Draco made him laugh.
The dry remarks he was sure would normally irritate him, when said with a smile or a wink seemed to have a very different effect.
Finally, when Harry's legs were starting to go numb from sitting in the same dining room chair for hours and the room was starting to sway from all the wine, the conversation began to dwindle.
"I suppose I should get going," Draco said hesitantly.
Harry hated to agree, but he had an appointment first thing in the morning so he nodded, nearly missing the disappointment in Draco's eyes.
The other man quickly looked away and pushed to his feet.
Harry followed him all the way to the fireplace, realizing not for the first time that right now, he might be the only human Draco interacted with aside from his mother.
"Wait," Harry said, just before Draco stepped into the fireplace.
Draco stopped at once, almost as though he'd been waiting for Harry to stop him.
He must have remembered the cloak too.
Harry pulled it from the rack and held it out to Draco.
Draco stared at Harry for a long moment and then finally stepped up to Harry to take it. He didn't let go of the fabric though, just stood there, staring into Harry's eyes, like he didn't want to leave.
"You know you can come over any time," Harry said. "No need to impress or buy me."
His attempt at lightening the mood didn't go over quite as planned because Draco's expression only darkened.
"Yes, I'm beginning to guess that's true," he said.
The moment continued to drag on and Draco wasn't leaving, and wasn't taking his cloak and wasn't backing away. He was looking at Harry like he was waiting for something but unless he was going to spell it out for him, Harry didn't think he was ever going to figure it out.
"Okay, well, have a good night then," he said.
Draco blinked.
Finally, he looked away, pulling his cloak over an arm and turning to the fireplace.
"You too," he said glancing back over his shoulder, then in a burst of green flames, he was gone.
Harry blinked at his empty fireplace, the last moments replaying and replaying in his mind until he was dizzy.
He'd definitely had too much wine, but that didn't really matter. Despite the oddness of Draco's departure, Harry was sure of one thing that he had never thought possible before; Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, could with some effort, honesty and careful treading, maybe become friends.