A week had passed since the incident at Harry's house, and he wouldn't even look at me. We had met once to finish our essay, but during that session, he wouldn't even talk to me.
It was killing me.
I didn't even do anything wrong, I think. I was just guarding my heart. And that's exactly what Harry was doing now as well. I didn't think Harry had any feelings for me whatsoever, but on the other hand, neither did I.
I chose to believe that Harry simply wasn't ready to have an on and off friend. That day, it was the strong desire to kiss him and rip his clothes apart that made me push him away. I didn't want to give Harry the wrong idea, and I wasn't about to let myself fall for him.
My mind drifted to the days where I starved myself, locked myself in a room and cried. Because of a boy. I was not about to let that happen again.
I had to stop this before it even started. But why was it hurting me so much? Harry and I made fine friends. He was adorable, playful, and I loved the blush that covered his cheeks when I let out an inappropriate comment during our tutoring sessions.
I loved his innocence and how quick his body would respond to me. I loved how flustered he got when his hips would buck into mine. I just wanted us to be friends. But I felt like I couldn't do that without leading him on.
I groaned, my head hitting the table with a thud as I dropped my head. I rolled my eyes at at the stupid Maths teacher, huffing as I quickly pushed the paper into my bag.
This was my third D minus in a row since Harry stopped tutoring me. I had gone from Ds to a B and then a B plus, all the way down to a D minus.
I glanced at the boy with the hoodie over his head. From where I sat, I noticed his lightly furrowed brows as he watched my reaction. Harry turned immediately our eyes met, and he played with his fingers.
Harry was first out of the door when the bell went, and I walked quietly with Bianca to our next class. The day rolled past with my conscience eating at me to talk to Harry.
Not only for my grades, but I genuinely missed the green eyed boy with curly hair and well defined abs behind all those clothes.
"Harry," I called, running up to him. His eyes widened when he saw me coming up to him. And the girl standing beside him followed his eyes to me. It was the same girl who said she liked him. My jaw clenched as she took his hand and pulled him the other way.
He walked a few steps, then turned back to me for a second, turning back as soon as our eyes met. I pulled my bag closer to my body and walked to my car. Why did I have to get myself into this mess?
I saw Harry nod at the girl, and then, she leaned in. Don't you dare kiss her, Harry Styles. Don't do it. Harry blushed and turned a bit, so her lips touched his cheek instead.
I sighed contently, driving out of the school as Harry entered Liam's car. My fingers tapped lightly at the steering wheel and I glanced at Harry's house when I drove past it. Anne stood with her back against her car, probably waiting for Harry, I supposed.
If I only wanted Harry and I to be friends, why didn't I want that girl to kiss him? I knew aside a friendship, there was definitely a sexual attraction. And I hoped that, that was all there was to it.
I sat quietly in the car for a few minutes before getting out. I frowned when I entered the kitchen, wondering what to eat. As I cooked my meal, I thought about how Harry would help with the cooking, and then insist on washing the dishes.
The boy was too sweet for his own good, and he was going to get hurt.
With memories of Harry came memories I wanted to forget. Instinctively, I touched my wrist. By now, all the scars had faded, physically. But the damage that was caused to my heart, I had grown to understand that, that bit was permanent. I could do nothing to stop it, except make sure it didn't repeat itself.
I ate in silence. It was so lonely in this large house. But I'd gotten used to it. At first, I'd just wish Scott was home. But now, now I wished a certain pretty boy with beautiful lips and a mess of curls on his head would come over. The worst part was knowing how close he was.
I picked up my phone and rang Bianca, before my mind could even reach Harry.
"I'll be there in a bit," She replied. I left the dishes in the sink and went upstairs, closing the door behind me as I waited for my best friend.
"I brought pizza," She yelled as I opened the door for her to come in. I flinched, my hands immediately going to ears.
I smacked Bianca in the head, making her chuckle as she walked to the couch. Now, don't ask if I didn't already have dinner. There's always room for pizza.
I grabbed a slice, stuffing it in my mouth as I moaned in delight. Bianca shot me a look, and I rolled my eyes at her, focusing on my food.
"So what's up?" Bianca asked, searching my face.
"What?" Confusion was evident in my voice.
"You called?"
"Yeah, am I not allowed to call my best friend? I call you all the time, Bianca." I chuckled.
"Oh," She frowned,"I thought you needed like relationship advice and you know, that shit. You got me all hyped up for nothing." She rolled her eyes as she fell back into the couch.
I chuckled,"The only way I'd need relationship advice is if I was in a relationship, which you know won't be happening anytime soon."
Bianca's face softened and she placed her palm on my knee in comfort. I rolled my eyes, swatting her hand away. These things were in the past, and honestly speaking, they didn't exactly affect me anymore.
"Gee, sorry for nothing." Bianca rolled her eyes, rubbing her hand softly. I giggled, taking the last slice of pizza. Bianca offered to wash the dishes for twenty dollars, and I couldn't help but give in to the deal.
After everything was cleaned up, I secured the doors and went upstairs into my room. I fell back on the bed, causing a relaxed Bianca to go tumbling the ground. She rolled her eyes at me, but climbed back up eventually and pulled my body towards hers.
I cherished times like this.
I moved closer to Bianca, leaving barely any space between us before I drifted off into sleep.
•
"Turn that stupid thing off," Bianca groaned.
I grunted and turned the alarm off, sitting up in my bed. I smiled as I pushed at Bianca, trying to get her up too.
She huffed,"I'm up, I'm up."
We got out of bed and got ready for school. Bianca hadn't brought her own clothes, so I let her borrow mine. I knew she intentionally didn't bring clothes so she could steal some of mine and never return them, but I didn't mind. She did pick up the habit from me.
After twenty five minutes of Bianca searching
for her car keys, she realized she didn't bring her car and smiled sheepishly at me.
"Just in time for second period," I said, glaring at Bianca as we got out of the car and walked to class.
I frowned when I walked into the English class, seeing Harry wasn't there. I frowned, waiting for him to stiffly walk into the class and blush because he was late. He didn't.
And that's when I noticed something.
Ross wasn't there either. Sure he'd skip class sometimes, but I had a horrible feeling about this. My heart pounded against my chest and I excused myself from class, running as fast as I could. I went to the one place Ross staged all his stupid bully fights.
I pushed the doors to the gym open just as Ross patted a guy who was about his size on the back, chuckling at his phone.
"Hey, sweetheart." He winked at me,"That'll teach you not to mess with me, little Gem." My heart broke when his body moved, and my feet were frozen in place for a good minute as my eyes stared at the sight before me.
I didn't even hear the gym doors close, I sprinted towards Harry, my heart beating frantically in my chest. "Oh God, oh God, oh God." I muttered as I lifted his face to mine. His glasses were broken and the dull green of his eyes hit me so hard it was difficult to breathe. I tried to ignore all the blood on his face, and I shut my eyes lightly as I collected myself.
"Harry, can you stand for me?" I asked in the quietest voice. His hands trembled as he wiped at a bit of blood from his nose, it was as good as doing nothing. Harry pushed himself up with his arms, then groaned as he stumbled back. I caught him and pulled him up, wrapping his arms around me as we walked out the school through the back.
We couldn't go to the nurse. There would be too many questions and even though Harry was innocent, he could get suspended.
I unlocked the doors to my car and helped Harry get in. The sight of his body covered in blood was heartbreaking and I took a second to compose myself before pulling out of the lot.
"Let's get you home, Harry."