// shawn mendes //
"So?" I asked anxiously as Liz approached me. I sat up in my chair, people in the waiting room staring at me again.
Liz sighed. "Some internal bleeding, mild kidney trauma, a couple fractured ribs, broken wrist. She has a concussion, which is why she hasn't woken up yet. Not a really bad one, but still," she told me.
She must have noticed my worried expression. "She's going to be fine, Shawn."
"None of that sounds fine, Liz," I said, and she rolled her eyes.
"Look, this sucks enough without your negativity. She's going to be devastated when she wakes up and realizes that this happened. If you want to be around her, put a smile on your damn face and be strong for her." She relaxed her shoulders, looking at the ground then back at me. "Please."
"You're right. I will, don't worry," I said.
She looked at me for a moment, then nodded. She sat in the chair next to me and sighed.
"Do you think she even wants to see me?" I asked. Liz gave me a sideways glance.
"Why wouldn't she?"
I let out a dry chuckle. "Why wouldn't she? Because I treated her like an after thought. I acted like she meant nothing to me, and when she pulled away, I did nothing to get her back. I was an idiot," I said. "Such an idiot."
"Well, I know for a fact that she hasn't gotten over you. She even ended things with a really good guy because she couldn't get over you," she told me. "But then she thought you were with another girl. That was what people were saying, at least."
She gave me a look. "Were you ever with another girl? Alexa, I think it was?"
"She, she thought that? She thought I was with Alexa?" I asked. Oh no.
Liz nodded. "You weren't? Everyone thought you were."
I shook my head. "No. She's my friend, a friend I had from school. She's a good listener, and she let me vent my feelings about Margot all the time." I sighed, looking at the ground. "She was only encouraging me to get Margot back. And Margot thought —"
"She thought you had moved on easily. Like it was nothing," Liz finished for me.
I put my face in my hands. "I need to explain to her. I should have explained it earlier. But, like always, too little too late," I said.
Liz put her hand on my shoulder. "You're right. You shouldn't have left her hanging like that. But right now," she stopped, slowly pulling her hand back. For a split second, I actually saw worry in her eyes. She was scared too. Margot is not just her sister, she's her best friend. They mean everything to each other. If this is hard for me, it's 100 times harder for her.
But, she cleared her throat and spoke again.
"Right now she needs you more than ever. But she's even more broken on the inside than the outside. You want her? Then deserve her. Because right now, I don't know if you do," she said, getting up from her seat.
She stopped after a few steps and looked back at me. "Well, are you coming?"
I quickly got up and followed her, trying to shake off her last comment. We walked down a long hallway to a door. Liz hesitantly pushed it open a crack and peeked inside, then pushed it the rest of the way and stopped in the doorway.
"Mom and Dad are talking to the doctor," she said in a more quiet voice, nodding towards the end of the hall. I nodded, looking at them. I saw her mother, who I had never seen before. I could tell she was Margot's mother, they looked so similar. Except even from a distance, I could see her fatigue. She rubbed her eyes as the doctor spoke, and Margot's father put a hand on her shoulder.
I stopped staring and followed Liz inside Margot's room.
She looked weak. She looked small and helpless and weak. She was lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to beeping machines that flashed and blinked lights that I didn't understand. Her eyes were closed, her breathing steady. Even now she looked so...perfect.
"The doctors said she should wake up soon," Liz said quietly. "Probably tomorrow."
I nodded, but just continued to stare at Margot. I wanted her to wake up now, and say she was ok. I want her to wake up and say that she loved me too.
But she laid there, looking weak.
"I'm going to check with my parents. You'll be ok?" Liz said after a few moments.
I nodded and cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'll be fine."
She left, leaving the door open just a crack. I sat down in the chair next to her bed, and sighed. I watched her breathe, her chest going up and then falling down, over and over again. It was relaxing to see her breathe so steadily.
Her hand was at the edge of the bed, daring to fall off. I took it in mine and moved it closer to her body. When I let go, she shifted in her bed, murmuring something I didn't understand.
I grabbed her hand again, and I felt her weak grasp. Like she was trying to hold my hand too.
"Evan," she mumbled, and then her hand lost all grip on mine, slipping out of mine and resting on the bed. Her breathing became steady again and she didn't move anymore.
A moment or two later, Liz and her parents came back into the room.
"Did anything happen?" Liz asked. I nodded.
"Her hand. I moved it closer to her so it wouldn't fall off the edge of the bed, but when I let go, she murmured something. Then when I grabbed it again, I could feel her hand gripping mine, then she mumbled 'Evan,' and she went back to...this," I told them, motioning towards her.
"She said Evan?" Margot's mother asked, looking at me inquisitively.
I nodded.
Her mother sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. "I'm sorry. She's just...out of it, and it's still hard, I suppose," she said to me.
I shook my head. "I get it. She loved him a lot," I said, looking back at Margot.
"She did," Mrs. Franklin replied. "She really did."
Everyone was quiet again, the only noise between us coming from the complex machines surrounding Margot.
"You should get some sleep, Shawn. Liz will let you know when she wakes up," Mr. Franklin said.
I nodded.
"You're welcome back whenever," Mrs. Franklin added, and I gave the three of them a weak smile.
"I'll be back. Just let me know what happens," I said, and Liz nodded.
"I will," she told me.
I nodded to them, and glanced at Margot one last time before walking out the door, trying to stop the shaking in my hands. They all say she's going to be OK, but seeing her like that just makes it hard to believe. And I couldn't live with myself if...if something bad, really bad, did happen to her and we left things like they were just because I was too scared to tell her how I really felt. I couldn't live with myself.
• • •
the next day...
"She's doing better?" I asked Mrs. Franklin. I think she still goes by that, because she didn't want to have a different last name than Margot and Liz. Margot had mentioned she was dating someone and it was serious, but I didn't see a ring on her finger. I just avoided calling her any name to her face.
"The doctors said so. Her eyes have been fluttering, but that's it. We're all hoping today's the day," she replied with a weak smile.
"Me too," I said, sitting down in the same chair as yesterday.
"Do you mind if I grab some food real quick? I haven't eaten all day," she asked, and I quickly nodded.
"Of course," I replied.
"Thank you. Henry and Liz were just getting something theirselves, I was just holding down the fort, they should be back soon, and —"
"Go ahead. I've got her," I said with a small smile, looking at Margot.
Mrs. Franklin smiled and put a hand on my shoulder. "We really do appreciate you. You mean a lot to Margot."
I really hope I still do.
"She means a lot to me," I replied, looking back at her.
Her smile almost looked sympathetic. "She'll be glad to see you when she wakes up."
"I hope so," I said.
I wonder if she knows all about us. All about me. Margot must have told her. She probably thinks I'm a jerk.
"I'll be back soon. Thanks again," she said, grabbing her purse.
"No problem," I replied before she left.
Just me and her again. Funny how it keeps ending up like this. I don't mind it. I just wish she would wake up so we could talk.
I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes for a second. I couldn't sleep last night. How could I possibly sleep last night?
"Any progress?" a nurse asked me when she walked in. She looked late 20s, with light brown hair tied up in a high ponytail. I sat up in my chair and shook my head.
"She's just the same," I replied.
She headed to one of the complicated machines and started doing something.
"Are you her boyfriend?" she asked with a smirk.
"Something like that," I muttered.
"It's complicated?" she asked, looking back at me.
"I'd say," I replied.
"Well, she should be waking up any minute now, so maybe you two can talk it out," she said with a smile. I nodded in reply and didn't say anything as she did her thing. She gave me a quick smile before leaving.
Margot moved her head ever so slightly, but soon she was just lifeless again.
"Oh Margot," I said, putting my hand on hers. "What are you doing to me?" I murmured, stroking her hand with my thumb.
Obviously she didn't reply, but it was nice to talk to her. Even if she can't even hear me.
"I miss your voice. And your laugh, and your smile. And how your eyes used to light up when you saw me. And how you used to intertwine your fingers with mine in the car. And the way you looked when you just woke up, and the way you dance around like no one is watching, and the way you make everyone around you smile."
"I just love you, Margot. I love you so goddamn much it's insane. I'm insane," I said, my voice quieter.
I was met with the expected silence, but I held onto her hand, wishing she would just wake up and be herself again.
I sat there a while longer, probably twenty minutes, until a weak cry of pain left Margot's mouth. Her eyes fluttered open a little, but this time they stayed open. She blinked once but closed her eyes again as she winced in pain.
She moaned as she lifted a hand slowly to her head. "Everything hurts," she whispered, sounding like she was on the verge of tears. I pressed the button that calls the nurse, hoping to get some painkillers on the way.
"I know it hurts. They're going to bring you medicine to help the pain go away," I told her, and she looked up at me. I could see in her eyes that she was confused on why I was here, but I think it just blended in with the confusion on why she's here. She didn't let go of my hand though.
I typed a very quick message to Liz, simply saying "she's awake."
"What happened?" Margot asked, looking at the room around here. "What did I do?"
"You got in a car accident. Heading to the airport in Philadelphia...you don't remember?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow. She shook her head.
"Was I driving?" she asked.
"No. Uh, Paul was," I said, referring to her driver.
"Oh no, I love Paul. Is he ok?"
I smiled a little bit. "He's fine. Just a couple bumps and bruises."
"Thank God," she said before wincing in pain again, holding the side of her head with her hand.
"Fuck, this hurts," she said in a frustrated voice. I wish those damn nurses would hurry up.
"What about me?" she asked, looking at the splint on her wrist.
"You've got a whole list of issues, Margot Kate," I told her with a smile.
"Seems that I have time to hear it. Tell me," she said, scrunching her nose as she held her head for a second. "Pounding, Shawn. My head is pounding."
I liked hearing her say my name. It's refreshing.
"I know. The nurse should be coming with painkillers, maybe if she wasn't so damn slow you wouldn't be here complaining," I said, and she chuckled a little but clutched her side.
"Goddamnit, even laughing hurts? What exactly happened to me?" she asked.
"Let's see. You had some internal bleeding, but that stopped, thank God. A little blunt kidney trauma, only grade 2, which isn't that bad. You broke two ribs, and your wrist. And the pounding in your head is thanks to a pretty bad concussion," I told her.
She sighed and groaned. "Damn."
"Damn is right," I replied, scratching the back of my head. The nurse came in a moment later and asked all these questions as she gave Margot some pills. She swallowed them easily with water.
The rest of Margot's family came in around the same time as the nurse and huddled around her, obviously relieved she was awake.
"Hey, everybody chill. I'm fine," Margot said, her voice still quiet but demanding, and they all backed off a little.
"How do you feel?" her mother asked. Stupid question.
"Like shit," she replied, and I smiled. That's Margot for you.
"What hurts?" Mr. Franklin asked.
"My head is killing me. And my sides hurt and my stomach and it just hurts me to look at my broken wrist. I can't play the piano with this stupid thing on," she said, looking at the stint on her wrist in disgust.
"The piano will be there when you get home. I think there are bigger things to worry about," Mr. Franklin said.
"Oh no!" Margot said, looking around the room.
"What?" her mother and father asked in worried unison.
"My Snapchat streaks. How long was I out of it? God, me and Remi almost have a 500 day streak!" she said, and Liz and I laughed as her parents shook their heads.
"Don't worry, I got it," Liz said with a grin.
"Thank God," Margot said in relief, laying her head back on the pillow.
"When do I get to go home?" she asked next.
"You're going to be here a few weeks, Margot. And when you do get home you have to take it very easy," the nurse interjected. Margot groaned.
A doctor came in next, telling Margot and the rest of us all this stuff about exactly what is happening to Margot and when she gets to leave and what she has to do while she's here. It was complicated, to say the least.
"How long do I have to sit in this bed?" she asked, trying to move but giving up.
"You can get up and walk around when you feel up to it, and after I say you're ready. Right now, you're not ready," the doctor said, narrowing his eyes at Margot, as if he knew she was going to attempt to get up right now.
She sighed, closing her eyes. "This sucks."
The doctor chuckled. "You'll be out of here in no time. You're very lucky, Margot."
"Yeah, I know," she muttered.
The doctor told her a few more things before leaving, and you could see the relief on her face when he did leave.
She looked at me for a moment, our eyes meeting for the first time since she woke up. I didn't look away, I just looked back at her.
"I'm tired," she said after looking away, yawning.
"Go back to sleep, honey," Mrs. Franklin said.
"Maybe wake up a little sooner this time," her father said with a smile, and she rolled her eyes.
She closed her eyes, slowly attempting to readjust her pillow.
"Here," I said after noticing her struggle, and her big brown eyes looked up at me as if it was her first time ever seeing me. I fixed her pillow for her, and she closed her eyes as she laid her head back on it.
Her eyes opened for a moment, looking into mine. "Thanks," she murmured, and then they shut again. And she was out.
• • •
no song in tweet bc everyone is too stressed to Twitter...here's a little bit of THROWBACK JB I KNOW YOU WANT IT
➡️ hey guys!! wow I'm the worst at updating now, but I'm trying to get back to it. unfortunately the whole month of July is really busy for me, so idk how much I'll be able to update...I'm still trying though!
this chapter was kind of trash but forgive me...what did you think?
keeping it short because I'm tired...
poll question⬇️
favorite Justin Bieber song??
I've got a ton, but it's gotta be FALL I am literally in love with that song every single day😍
anyways, thanks for voting and commenting and supporting me, y'all are AMAZING!!
please VOTE & COMMENT on this chapter and leave some love!!
-jsm💜