I don't care if it hurts
I'll pay my weight in blood
To feel my nerves wake up
So love me now or let me go
Let me feel these highs and lows
Before the doors to my heart close
—Feel Something, Jaymes Young
CHAPTER FIVE
I groaned, rubbing my eyes in sleep, cursing at the pain forming in my temples. My eyes lazily fluttered open and I tried to adjust my focus. I extended my hand, slapping my night stand, searching for my phone. I quickly reached for it once I found it, squinting my eyes at the brightness of the screen.
Holy shit!
I jerked into awareness looking at the time. I was late for work! Very late. A frown marred my forehead when I saw an unread message from Evan. Shit. I opened it slowly, dreadfully, only to frown more.
Where is the press release?
I read the text once again, confused. I opened my email id to check what he was talking about and soon became ready to pull my hair out. The mail was conveniently lying in my fucking outbox! How could I be so irresponsible? I sent the mail again, this time checking twice if it had been sent or not.
I hurried got out of the bed to get ready for work. I had never screwed up so many times in such less time. I needed to get a grip before I drove myself crazy with my stupid mistakes. Lord help me.
+++
My phone rang on my desk and I quickly picked it up, fully expecting it to be Evan. Before I could even utter a word in my defense, a deep voice boomed in the phone. "I want you in my office. Now." he ordered and hung up.
"Wow." I stared at the phone in disbelief. I was aware I made a mistake, but what the hell crawled up his ass and died, for him to be this angry? I hated being bossed around. I knew I was his employee and all, but I still hated it. "Not even a good morning first. What a di—"
"I'm still on the phone, Ms Stone." a stern voice spoke, making me jump in surprise. I had still been holding the phone to my ear, thinking that he had hung up. Apparently I was very wrong.
"—ligent boss. I'll be right there, sir!" I completed, before quickly cutting the call. Fuck!
I knocked on Evan's door twice, then waited patiently outside to be let in. I already had a bad feeling about this.
"Come in." I took slow step, walking in almost hesitantly. "I—uh emailed you the press release this morning, sir. I hope it's written properly." I said awkwardly, trying to avoid his sharp gaze that carefully followed my every move.
"Close the door behind you, Ms Stone." he ordered. "And take a seat."
I bit my lip, then sat down on the chair across him, a desk separating us. "A very good morning to you, Ms Stone, although it's almost noon now. I'd offer you some coffee, but considering what time you came in today, you probably don't need it. Oh, and I hope you're doing well. I was worried since you were unable to send me the work I asked you for, on time."
If Evan's words were directed towards someone else, I would've probably laughed at the sarcasm oozing from them. But unfortunately, they were addressed to me. And they were snappy. He didn't look pleased with me at all.
"Okay, I get your point. I'm really sorry. Really." I mumbled. "But I can explain—"
"I don't know about explanations, but you surely can argue."
I opened my mouth to defend myself, then quickly closed it. This man knew exactly how to shut someone up.
"If you can't handle a simple press release, how will you handle bigger reports, more urgent projects in the future? How are you going to deal with important clients and meet challenging deadlines?"
I kept quiet.
"Tell me. You seem to have an answer for everything afterall, right?" he taunted.
I could feel my throat tighten. It wasn't his words, but my own thoughts that were troubling me. A part of me knew that everything he was saying was correct. Maybe I wasn't good at anything. Maybe that's why I became a con girl. That's all I knew. That's all I was.
An uneasy feeling surged up my chest as a troubled thought crossed my mind.
Was I so broken that my own dreams scared me? Is that why I gave up on them so easily?
I shook my head, biting my inner cheek hard. No. I chose this for myself. And I loved it. I didn't want to be good at anything except for conning. Any other dream I had had should simply remain past.
"Ms Stone?" he asked, almost sounding concerned. It felt like I had lost my voice for a second. I tried to reply, but I couldn't. "Scarlett? Are you okay?"
My eyes snapped to his. "I—" I blinked rapidly, suddenly realising how I must be looking like a psychopath to him that time. "I'm fine. I mean, I get your point. You don't have to do this again." I referred to his sarcastic comment earlier, pretending as if I hadn't been panicking just moments ago.
"I'm being genuine here, Scarlett. You seemed... lost there for a moment." his voice held sincerity.
"I said I'm fine." I gritted my teeth. I didn't want his concern. And I sure as hell didn't need his pity. It made me feel weak, like I needed someone to depend upon. I had made myself a stranger to that feeling years ago.
"I'm sorry for not sending you the mail on time. And for being late for work today. And my—my comment earlier... on the phone."
He observed me for a moment as though trying to read me. He was only wasting his time. I cleared my throat. "Can I leave now?
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Not so soon."
As if on cue, his phone started ringing on his desk. Evan glanced at his phone, before landing his eyes back on me. Despite the internal battle I was having, I couldn't help a smug smile from forming on my face. His expression hardened when he noticed it.
"Don't look so happy. We aren't done here. You can go now, but we'll definitely discuss your poor performance later."
I lingered outside his door for a moment, trying to eavesdrop into his conversation. I couldn't help it. I needed to know as much about him as possible, as soon as I could.
I wanted something—anything. I needed any bits and pieces I could get, from anywhere, anyone.
Because something told me it wasn't that easy to read Evan Carter either.
+++
"Scarlett." a voice called, making me look up from the files in my hand. "Have you assembled the reports I asked for?"
"Yes, I was just going to bring them to you."
Lucas nodded absent-mindedly, playing with the cuff of his shirt. It wasn't hard to notice that he didn't seem one bit interested in the reports. "I understand that Mr Carter has asked for your assistance from our department. I really do believe that you're responsible enough to handle this well."
I almost scoffed at his words. Almost. If only he knew...
I offered him a smile. "Thank you for trusting me." Even though you shouldn't.
"Do you know him from before?" he suddenly asked, his eyes snapping to mine. I raised my eyebrows at him, slightly taken aback by his question.
"I mean, you danced with Mr Carter at the fundraiser." he ran a hand through his hair. "So uh, I was just wondering."
"I talked to him before in the office once." I kept it short, conveniently leaving out our first meeting in the bar. I didn't need anyone getting suspicious or like in Lucas' case, possibly jealous. The lesser people I involved, the better it would be. Lucas could perhaps be useful for me in the future, but he wasn't my target. Something told me he wouldn't be a tough one either.
"Oh, okay. I was just curious." he cleared his throat.
"It was very brief." I shrugged nonchalantly.
He nodded his head, then gave me a small, friendly smile. "Do you want to get a cup of coffee before continuing?"
My mind drifted towards Evan's sarcastic comment earlier today in his office. Then to the first time we had a civil, well, semi civil conversation between us when he saw me drinking from the coffee dispenser. I wondered if his call was over or if he was yelling on the phone, like the time in the bar.
"Sure." I choked out. I need to stop thinking about him.
My body was in desperate need of coffee.
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