Back in the familiar hallways where the Ungifted reside, I let Tulsa lead me to Nome. She wanted me to head to the infirmary first, but I eventually convinced her that I was fine. Physically, at least.
When I enter the Caretakers room, where Tulsa said he was, I immediately search for him, but find Winn instead. His eyes seem to land on me at the exact time mine land on his. He seems visibly relieved and walks up to me. When he's close enough, Winn circles his arms around me and engulfs me into a hug. My arms slowly wrap around him and my eyes close. I've never been hugged before.
"I heard what happened. Are you okay?" Winn mumbles into my hair. He pulls away, but keeps his hands on my shoulders. "Stupid question, I know. Is there anything I can do to help you?"
"You already helped," I say, telling the truth. He looks honest to god, worried about me. It makes me believe that he cares about me, a girl he just met. He smiles down at me and I can't help but notice how different his smile is from Anahi's. His smile is friendly, whereas Anahi's smile always masked her pity. Winn doesn't pity me and he actually cares about me; he's helped me in ways he will never understand.
I stare at Winn now, grateful that I met him. "There is actually something you can help me with." I give him a persuasive smile.
"Name it." He says, not at all annoyed that I need his help.
"Can you bring me to Nome? I really want to check on him." An odd expression crosses his face, "I can bring you to him, but umm..." His eyes flicker around the room nervously.
"What?" I ask, worry growing in the pit of my stomach.
Winn looks all around the room again and gently grabs my arm. He drags me to the side of the room and whispers down at me, "Did they say anything to you about Nome?"
I follow his lead and lower my voice, "No, why?"
"It's probably nothing, but they've been doing some tests on him. Which isn't odd because every child gets a physical, but the tests done on Nome are not included in regular physicals."
My worry festers, making me sick to my stomach, "Is he sick?"
"I don't know. They did MRI's and eye exams and even drew his blood. I heard a rumor that they might bring in a specialist to examine his psychological health." His voice is so low that I have to strain to hear him.
"Have you noticed anything wrong with him?"
Winn scrunches his thick eyebrows together, "See, that's the thing. He acts like every other child that has just been rescued. A little scared and reserved, but kind. I've spoken to other people about him and they all say he seems normal."
"So why the tests?"
Winn stands up straight and looks completely baffled, "I don't know."
"Has anyone here hurt him?"
"What?" Winn asks. "No, I wouldn't let anyone hurt any of the children."
I smile at his honesty, "You are perfect for the caretaker position."
Winn grins at me and he no longer seems nervous, "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I think you would be good caretaker," Winn comments.
"Maybe I would be." I wonder what will happen after this revolution is over, if it is ever over. Do revolutions ever truly end? Anyway, I never thought about my next step. What happens when the fighting is done? Does everyone leave the tunnels and rejoin the outside world?
"So," Winn says, interrupting my thoughts, "want to go see him now?"
"Yes, please." Winn leads me across the room and through a red door. Inside, a playpen sits in the middle of the room. The walls are all painted differently, but all are bright and cheerful. Children from the ages of three to thirteen crowd the room and fill it will noise. There are a couple of older people who mill around the room watching over everyone, they must be Caretakers like Winn.
I spot Nome sitting in the corner, with two other kids sitting next to him. He plays with a deck of cards, shuffling them and hands one to a little girl next to him. She then gives him the card back and he begins to shuffle them. He doesn't take his eyes of the girl as he picks a card out of the deck at random. He holds it up, a queen of hearts, and the girl squeals with excitement.
I walk up to them with Winn by my side. Nome doesn't notice me until I'm standing right in front of him. He stumbles to his feet and let's go of his cards, sending all of them tumbling to the ground. "Arie?" His eyes are wide and hopeful. It's seems important to note that he remembered my name.
"Yes, I came to check on you. I would've been here sooner, but you know-" My voice freezes as Nome wraps his tiny arms around my waist. "I thought they killed you," he says, his voice muffled from my clothes.
He untangles his arms and steps away from me, "I'm glad you're not dead."
I laugh, "Thanks. So, how are they treating you?" My smile starts to tip to the ground, I need to hear him say that he's okay.
"It's amazing here. They feed me every day and let me play games and healed my cuts and don't order me around." He sounds happy and that makes me happy for him, but my heart also aches for him. To be refused food and medical care is wrong. No one should have to live a life where food is refused when you ask for it. "Thank you for bringing me here," he says in a serious voice.
"One day, no one will ever treat anyone the way you were treated." I try to sound convincing because he deserves to have hope for a better future.
"I can't wait for that day," he says in his high voice. Suddenly he looks way beyond his age, but he also looks hopeful. "I guess I'll leave you with your friends. If anything happens, don't hesitate to reach out to me, okay?"
"I will," Nome says as he turns back to his friends. He kneels down to collect his cards and does another trick to entertain them.
I turn to Winn and ask, "do you think you can bring me back to my room? I haven't learned to navigate through the tunnels yet."
"Yeah, let me just go tell someone really quick." I nod and watch his back as he leaves. When he comes back, he leads me out and into the tunnels.
We walk through the artificially lighted hallways and I twine my fingers together as nerves bundle in my stomach. I glance at Winn and then at the floor and repeat the process about a dozen times. The thirteenth time has Winn laughing, "what's up?"
I bite my lip and put a palm on my nauseous stomach. Sometimes I get so nervous I start to feel nauseous and I hate the feeling. I take a steady, calming breath and ask Winn the question that has made me so nervous. "How much do you know about Desmond's plan and about this revolution?"
A sideways glance from Winn has my second hand joining my first hand, so now both settle comfortably on my stomach. He opens his mouth and I pay close attention to what he tells me.
"Honestly, not much. I know the final picture, no more ungifted slavery or discrimination, but I don't know how they plan on accomplishing that. The first day you were here, I learned that they want to replace the rulers with Ungifteds, also that they want you to be a ruler, but again, I don't know how they are going to do that."
I don't understand why Desmond would keep certain people in the dark, but I need to talk to someone about all of this. "I think Desmond wants to start a war."
My admission has Winn sucking in a sharp breath, "I'm not supposed to know that," he says.
"I know, but you don't deserve to be left in the dark."
"There's a reason I'm kept in the dark." Winn doesn't sound angry or even look angry, but there's a difference in his tone and expression, he seems scared.
"I'm sure there is, but you deserve to know."
Winn nods and loses the edge in his voice, "why are you telling me this?"
"Because, I need to know if you trust them. Do you?" As a response to my question, Winn pops his neck to the side and rubs his chin. "I trust that they have good intentions."
"But?" I ask, because it sounds like he wants to say more.
"I don't know if their plan will work."
"Why not?" I ask, curious.
Suddenly Winn stops and turns towards me, "What if the throne rejects Ungifteds?" My lips part, "I haven't even thought of that," I tell him.
"I don't think Desmond or Tulsa have either. What happens when we kill the current ruler and have no one to replace him with? A Gifted will take the throne and we will be back to where we started."
"We have Gifteds on our side, like Tulsa, maybe we can put some of them in charge if an Ungifted is unable to." I offer.
"Maybe," Winn says as he starts walking again. We take a left and my door comes into view. "Thank you for bringing me here."
"No problem," Winn hesitates, "please, don't tell anyone I know about the war." His emerald eyes sparkle, but not with amusement. Seeing his fear has me saying, "going to war is only a theory, I could be wrong." I just don't think I am and the fear doesn't ease from Winn's eyes at all. "Are you scared of them?" I ask him.
He immediately shakes his head, "no, of course not. I just don't know what they'll do if they find out I know more than I'm supposed to."
My face tightens, I didn't mean to put him in danger, "are they dangerous?"
"Not to their own kind, and I am one of them, they won't hurt me." His voice is steady and convincing so I decide to take his word for it.
"Okay, I believe you." I smile and he smiles back.
"I'm glad you're back and safe," Winn says. My smile grows, "me too."
He starts moving, walking backwards, with his face still towards me, "how does lunch tomorrow sound?"
Shock flashes through me, but fades quickly, "Sounds perfect," I say.
"See you tomorrow," he says as he turns and walks normally.
"See you tomorrow," I whisper back.
I turn away from Winn and put my hand on the door knob. I open the door to my room and am shocked to see someone sitting on my bed. I swallow down my panic when I see familiar red eyes.
"What are you doing here?" I ask. Arlo taps his fingers on the bed, "I heard you were back so I came here to see you, but you weren't here so I figured I would wait for you."
"I went to check on Nome."
Arlo stops tapping his fingers."How is he?"
"He's good, but Winn is worried about him."
"What do you mean?" Arlo stands and walks towards me.
"Winn said that they took him for some tests," I tell him.
"You mean a physical? Desmond has every child looked over to make sure they are physically healthy." Arlo reasons.
I shake my head. "No, Winn said they took him for tests after his physical. He also said those tests had nothing to do with his physical."
"Did Winslow say what kind of tests they were?"
"Yeah," I say. "Winn told me he spoke to others and learned that they drew his blood, did eye exams, and brain scans. I didn't know they have access to that type of technology."
"I didn't either, but they don't tell me everything, so I'm not shocked."
"Why is Nome different?" I ask, worried that somehow we've put Nome in more danger than he was before. Arlo leans his head back and gazes at the ceiling, "I don't know."
I huff, "How do you not know? Aren't you important here? I mean you have a seat at the round table." I'm talking about the round table at the meetings. I figured that everyone at the meetings and everyone who sits at that table must be important.
"Yes, but apparently I'm not important enough to know everything." Arlo doesn't seem to be bothered by that.
"How does that not bother you?" I ask him.
He finally lowers his head, "Because I don't need to know everything. Desmond wants to help our people and I believe that he will do everything in his power to do so."
"What if Desmond isn't who he says he is? Why do you trust him so much?"
"Why do you not trust him? Why don't you trust anyone?"
I spread my hands out before me. "How could I trust anyone? Sahil raised me, but he never cared for me. He was my father figure, but never a father. He never hurt me, but was going to murder me," I stop suddenly. I want to say more, but I just realized my mistake. Sahil has never hurt me physically, but not all pain is physical. All my time in the palace with him and he never struck me, but he did hurt me. The same way yesterday, how he didn't hit me, but allowed for me to be hit.
"Did he hurt you?" Arlo asks me.
"What?"
"When he took you, did he hurt you?" Yes, he did, he hurt me in ways no one can see. "I'm fine," I breathe in deeply; it's the first outright lie I've told in years.
"I didn't ask if you were fine, I asked if he hurt you." His eyes burn through mine and I fold into myself. "Yes," I finally admit.
"Are you okay?" He takes a step closer to me, but I take a step back.
"I'm fine," lie number two. My throat burns with the aftertaste of dishonesty. Arlo continues to walk closer to me and I stumble backwards into a wall.
"I thought you weren't liar," he says.
I shake my head, "Maybe I'm just stronger than you think."
"There's no strength in claiming you're fine when you clearly aren't." Arlo stands so close to me, too close. I stare at his chest, not wanting to look him in the eyes.
Arlo presses two fingers under my chin and forces my eyes up to meet his. My face heats up with the contact, but I don't push him away. "Are you okay?" His voice is soft and I now understand what people mean when they say they have butterflies in their stomach.
"Don't make me lie again," I whisper.
Arlo bites his lip, but repeats his question anyways, "Are you okay?"
I need him to step away from me because I need to be able to breathe normally again, "I will be." The truth makes me feel a little better. It will take some time, but I'm not damaged beyond repair.
Arlo continues to stare into my eyes, as if my eyes will reveal everything I won't say. "What did he do to you?" He asks.
"He healed everything he broke," I say.
Arlo shakes his head, "That doesn't erase the pain." Which is why I'm not okay, I want to say, but I stay quiet. I press my lips together and Arlo lowers his hand.
"Look, I really don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm so exhausted from today; I just want to go to sleep." He stares at me for a moment before eventually turning away and then he starts for the door.
When he makes it to the door, I stop him before I forget. Everyone has been telling me how little time we have and it is time for me to stop wasting it. "Arlo?"
"Yes?" He asks, his hand on the door handle.
"I need you to set up a meeting." He nods and asks, "do you have your answer?" The question is whether or not I'll join this revolution. I lock my golden eyes with his ruby eyes, "Yes, I have made my decision."
"I'll need you to stay here then. I'll set up the meeting and come get you when it's time."
I start to say thank you, but he's already shutting the door. I shed my shoes and flop onto the bed. I snuggle up and my face forms to the pillow and I pull the blanket around me. My eyes are shut and my body is exhausted, but my mind is more awake than ever.
My thoughts swing back to my conversation with Winn. He is right to be worried about a throne rejecting an Ungifted. When a society rejects a prospective ruler, they die. To become a ruler of one of the four societies, the current ruler must be dead and the throne must accept the prospective ruler. When the prospective ruler sits on the throne, there are two possibilities. One, their essence will flow into the throne and then throughout the society-making them the new ruler, or two, they will die seconds after they sit on the throne.
This has happened time and time again, many people have been rejected from the throne and killed. The Gods power over the four societies controls everything. They decide who gets accepted and who gets rejected, which is why some people die seconds after taking the throne. I've never seen anyone die of rejection from the throne, but I have heard that an electric shock emits from the throne and strikes into the prospective ruler, killing them instantly.
This tradition also prevents one ruler from taking all four thrones. The Gods disapprove of dictatorship and tyrants, so they use this technique to stop one person from taking control of every society at once. Only one person can rule one society, that's the way it has always been. When an individual is already a ruler and they sit on a second throne, they die. They are rejected from the second throne and they pay the price for trying to control two societies at once. To this day, people still attempt to become the ruler of multiple societies. I shake my head; their foolishness is astonishing.
I snuggle deeper into my bed and try to make my mind go quiet. It's a hard task, but I do eventually fall into a deep sleep.
#
"We can't just save a few children every couple of weeks, we need to do more and we need to stop this cruelty, so that's what we are going do. Replacing the rulers will not be easy, so we're going to need all the help we can get. So, thank you, for joining our cause, but that's not enough, I need to know that you'll fight with us." Desmond says.
It only took Arlo a couple hours to set this meeting up. I was sluggish when he woke me up from my nap, but I was determined to talk to Desmond today. The second I entered the meeting room, I told them I would join this cause, but Desmond doesn't seem convinced.
This decision will change my life, but my life needs to change so I will do what needs to be done. "Yes, I will fight with you." After seeing how bad it is in the Eastern Society, I know that I can't sit around doing nothing. I don't even want to think of what happens in the other two societies.
Desmond smiles, pleased with my answer. "Good, because we're going to war." What? War? My jaw drops and I'm speechless because I was right. I suspected Desmond of this, but destroying the peace this world has fought so hard for, is beyond words. Hearing him actually say the word war, makes all of this seem unreal. "We will attack each Society individually, starting with the North." Finally, words form from my mouth, "why the North?"
"Easiest target."
"Shouldn't you go after the strongest society first?" I ask.
Desmond shakes his head, "we don't have enough manpower or weapons to defeat the South. They are our greatest enemy and will be the most difficult to defeat, so we will need as many societies backing us as possible. The only way to get help from other societies is too have one of us in charge." I nod, his strategy making more sense to me now.
"Now that I have joined this revolution, how will I help?"
Desmond starts to pace, making him look nervous. I start to worry, I've never him get nervous. "Our attack on the North is already scheduled and we need you to tell us everything-and I mean everything about the palace and its inner workings. We need to know Sahil's schedule and the guards schedule. Anything you can tell us will be helpful, but we also need soldiers. You will have to fight with our army, so we'll train you. You will be taught how to fight and how to use weapons. We'll create a schedule for you to follow and you will start tomorrow. There is no time to waste." No time to waste, so many people saying the same thing.
I'm going to be a very busy girl for the next couple... weeks? Months? "How soon is the attack?" I ask Desmond.
Desmond looks down at me with a strange glint in his eyes, "A little less than four weeks."
My stomach bottoms out, there's no way... "Care to be more specific?" I ask, my voice slightly trembling.
"We're attacking on November sixteenth." His words suck all the air out the room and I struggle to breathe. I bend over, suffocating with the weight of his words. I was born at 3:32 am on the sixteenth of November. They're attacking on my birthday. My knees buckle and hands grab at my shoulders. My eighteenth birthday will end in death, just as prophesied.