Alex
He looks a bit scary from down the bed in the way he hovers over me. It's been awhile since I've seen him angry with me. For some reason it makes me smile, but that pisses him off even more.
"Don't you laugh at me! I'm serious. You are such a little bitch, telling them my plans when I just warned you what a pitbull she is. She'll want to help, make it big, a franchise or something."
"Little bitch?" I repeat sitting up straight. "She was clearly aiming at me because she thinks tattooing is beneath you. I only said it to prove her wrong! To stick up for you."
"Don't make me laugh," he spits, "from the moment you stepped foot inside you made it your goal to have her on your side. You don't understand."
"Clearly I don't. I thought I did alright! For fuck's sake Harry, I did my best for them to like me. Or am I just a trophy just like the other girls you brought to meet them? Do I have to piss them off, get drunk or start crying because this time of year sucks?"
"Don't make this about that! You know it isn't like that, but you could have made it a little less obvious that you want them to like you. You lied about your drinking and about your work here."
"So, you wanted me to tell them that I have problems with alcohol? That I work in a store? Why? To make me feel like a fool in a mansion ten times the size of my old house? To make them loathe me which clearly would please you more than them liking me?"
He sighs and leans against the desk. I only now notice that the way this room is set up is similar to our rooms in Palas. Only the furniture and colouring is much more modern. There's no old school TV either, but a plasma hanging against the wall. The two people inside of the room are still exactly the same. Always fighting.
"You don't understand what I mean," he says after a short silence. He pinches the bridge of his nose and keeps his eyes closed.
"Then make me," I threaten, hoping to sound as angry as I am.
"It's just frustrating that I had to fight for her appreciation for all my life while she thinks it is okay for you and Liz to just live off of other's people money. My sister never worked a day in her life and it's all fine while I worked hard for almost ten years and she can't recognize that!"
"She's trying to, I can see that," I tell him, feeling more and more on his mother's side since she was nice to me tonight, and Harry hasn't shown me anything but disrespect. "And what would be wrong with her helping you?"
"Everything! If I ever do it, I want to do it by myself not with her help or money."
"There's nothing wrong with help, Harry. You should be fucking happy you still have her. Honestly she looked rather fragile and she has been very sick. What if she's just trying to get closer to you and she doesn't know how else to do it, but through helping you with something she knows is very important to you?"
"You think too much of her," he mumbles. "I guess that's mutual."
"What do you mean by that?" I ask standing up, getting really frustrated now. "That she thinks too much of me too?"
He keeps quiet but the way he looks tells me everything. Grabbing my coat I want to storm out of the room as tears fight their way out of my eyes and I don't want him to see me like this again. Crying, weak, not much worth.
But he stops me like he always does, his hand on my arm sending electricity through my body that I haven't felt in a while. When I look up to his eyes I can see he felt it too.
"It felt like you didn't have my back," he whispers and a tear leaves my eye. I hate for him to feel like that when I felt so precious in his arms and he did everything to make me feel great again.
"I had though, but I guess I even suck at that."
"I'm sorry," he says, still holding me in place when I want to run away from him. His words hurt me and I don't deserve them.
"If I ever meet her again I'll tell her why I don't drink and what my real job is. If that's what you need to make yourself feel better than I will. I'm not less than you Harry. Yes, you are successful at what you do, but I was a great lifeguard and I am really trying to figure out what I want here and I'm sorry I'm living of your money. I'll start paying rent from now on because I don't ever want you to use that against me again. If you think it feels great to go back to a boring job where saving lives isn't your number one priority, you are wrong. It makes me feel like shit and then to hear your confirmation that I am worthless? I rather stay the night at your mother's house than here if that's how you truly feel."
"It's not. Really not," he mutters, trying to come close to me, but I'm not done yet.
"And for you to rub in my face and theirs that we're not going to have children? Really mature, Harry but I was willing to let it slide. I did my best not to let anything ruin the night. But you have to make sure that Christmas sucks for me once again."
"I'm really sorry," he says. "I'm still a dick."
"I thought you had changed, become some better human with no flaws at all. But I'm actually glad to see you are still the same guy I met. You haven't become better than me. You still suck Harry."
He looks at me frozen, knowing that I'm right. He might have behaved perfect from the moment we got back together, no, even from the moment he came back to Palas. But him comparing me to his sister and saying I don't have his back makes me almost forget about how he held me close after I was thrown outside his work. He pitied me then though and he still does.
"I have always said that you are amazing. You being here proves you are better than me. You came back, while I couldn't stay in Palas."
"Because I wasn't worth staying."
"No." He shakes his head and I'm pretty sure he's on the verge of tears. Part of me doesn't care because tears have been leaving my eyes since he opened his mouth to me.
"Well, yes," I tell him. "Don't lie now. We both know it's true. It will always stand between us."
"Only if we let it," he says and he looks up to me. There are wet streaks across his cheeks that I want to disappear.
Seeing Harry in pain isn't something I act well on. It makes me forget about my own pain and I know he has the same with me. It's why he was able to put aside his frustrations about me being dramatic at his work. I know it bothers him, just like so many things about him bother me. But I never wanted old feelings about his mother to arise because of me. I don't want him to feel awful because I've felt it for a long time and it's depressing and tiring. I love him too much to make him feel that way too. So I step closer and place my hand on his cheek and try to be the bigger person like he was a while ago.
"I won't," I tell him, softly grazing away his tears.
We both step closer until there's no space left between us. When his hand lands on my bum to pull me even nearer a mixture of pain and pleasure shoots through my body. No one ever told me that those two are so close to each other, but all I can do is surrender. There's no point in fighting, because in the end we always end up like this.
His head is against my forehead as he lets his emotions run out of control. With his eyes he asks permission to kiss me. I let him and we both don't close our eyes at first, too curious how we will react. When his lips land on my lips, there's nothing more I want then to pull him as close to me as possible. Our bodies touching everywhere.
When we get let like this, when so much is left unspoken, but we both accept it, things heat up quick. He pushes me on the bed and takes off his shirt that he throws away. With his eyes he takes me in and I turn around to let him open up my zipper. There's something sensual about lying on the bed under his care and feeling him delicately taking off my clothes.
We end up in nothing more than underwear soon and I know he needs me just like I need him. He's the one who can hurt me the most. His words cut deeper than knives, but his kisses heal me, barely leaving any scars. He can make me feel so alive and forget about anything as he licks the skin around my spine.
I move around quickly and pull him close, hastily pushing away my panties. There's only one thing I want right now and that is to become one with him and I don't need to tell Harry twice. Sloppy kisses are placed on my mouth that I forget to close when he moves on top of me. He leans down on one elbow as he stops for a moment.
I frown as I look to him, afraid something is wrong, but when he opens his mouth to speak I know he didn't stop because he's not feeling it.
"I have never loved anyone like I love you," he says in my ear. He's out of breath and I am at first too stunned to say anything back, but I know I have to.
"I love you the most."