2 Weeks Later
I got out of class late. My professor liked to talk. He really liked to talk. I planned to go straight to my apartment. It was still practically empty, it's only been a week since I moved into it. I couldn't live with Talia and Harper after what they did to Luke and I. But, I couldn't go back to him. Not when they were partly right. I didn't get to move on. I used Luke and I thought I moved on. But I didn't get to do it myself. I don't even know what it's like to be alone.
I did feel bad though. Luke and I both started our last year of Grad school. He was still training clients but he was taking classes for his Masters. We had a nutrition class together. He didn't come near me. Until today. He sat next to me, without saying anything. I left before him but it didn't stop him from running after me.
"Brit!" He grabbed my arm, holding me still. "Can you please talk to me?"
"Luke, I'm sorry. I've just been busy the past couple weeks." I mumbled, biting my lip anxiously. "I meant to call."
"You just left, I called you and I left messages. You didn't respond. You know how fucked up that is? I've been stressed out and then I see Talia and she says you moved out of their place. She told me they took your phone and that you went crazy-"
"Luke, we can't do this anymore. You were right. We're making each other crazy. It's been 2 weeks and it feels like a year. We don't have a healthy relationship and we need to work on some things. I need to figure myself out before I try to keep doing this. I've never been single. Not since I was 14. And I feel like I depend on people too much. I want to be on my own, for just a little bit."
"I miss you." Luke gulped, sliding his hand down to hold mine. "But, I understand." He licked his lips and kissed my forehead. "You need to do this for yourself and I'm not going to stop you. I just don't know what to do without my pretty girl."
"Come over tonight and we can figure some stuff out. You're not getting rid of me, Luke." I smiled, placing my lips on the back of his hand. "I just need a little independence."
"That's all you had to say, babe. I'll meet you at your place. Send me the address and we can talk." He grabbed my face and kissed my forehead again. "I have to get to class."
"See you later." I smiled up at him and he nodded, hugging me tightly before walking away. I couldn't help the giddy feeling inside me. I had missed him and I didn't want to push him away because of what other people say. I wanted us to figure it out together but I didn't want to keep going if we had no end game.
"Brit!" I knew who it was. He's been trying to talk to me since word got around that I moved out of Luke's. I had no interest in talking to him. But, he wouldn't leave me alone. "Brit, hold up!"
"Not today, JT."
"Brit, I need to talk to you." I crossed my arms, glaring at him hard enough that he didn't dare step closer to me. "I heard you and Luke broke up. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know I messed up when I hit him-"
"Wait," I laughed. "You think you jumping him has anything to do with our lives?" I scoffed loudly and shook my head. "JT, we don't give a shit about you or what you do. I moved into my own apartment, because I had planned to. Luke and I are none of your concern and we're doing just fine. I don't want anything to do with you and I never will. Leave me and Luke alone."
"What makes him so much better than me, Brit? I know he doesn't treat you the way you should be treated."
"And you did?" I was fuming. "You controlled me. You made me think that you were all I had. Like I was nothing without you. I don't need you. I don't need Luke. But when it comes to who I want, it's not you!" I quickly turned around and made a bee line for my car. How dare he make it seem like I needed him? I was perfectly fine.
Luke came at 9:00, give or take a few minutes. He brought me flowers. Daisies because he thought roses were too much. I thought it was the cutest thing he could have done.
We sat on the couch, my legs crossed and his resting on the coffee table I had just got yesterday. "How's work?" I asked him, fiddling with the hem of my oversized Nirvana t-shirt.
"I had to give Tim some of my clients for school but it's been good. My moms been helping me out with rent and stuff since I'm not making as much." He licked his lips and my stomach sank. I didn't even think about his rent. I should have helped him. "Don't worry about it, babe." He chuckled, laying his head against the cushion to look over at me.
"I shouldn't have gone to Harper and Talia's. They started saying all of these things about you and I didn't want to hear it. They took my phone and by the time I got it back, you were so mad. I didn't think you wanted to see me." I bit my lip and looked down at the white rug. "I messed up."
"Baby, I will always want to see you." He placed his hand on my thigh. "You're my girl, ok?"
"Am I, Luke?" I sighed, shaking my head. "For the last few months, I haven't left your side. We were glued together and as much as I like being around you, I wasn't very independent."
"Britney Olsen, what the hell are you talking about? Is that what this is about?" He scoffed, sitting up to be closer to me. "Your parents died when you were 15 years old, you are putting yourself through college, and you are the most badass chick I have ever met when it comes to defending yourself. You are independent."
"I'm not." I shook my head, sighing loudly. "I met JT when my parents died. I didn't ever really cope with it, that's why I hate talking about it. I put all of that reliance and dependence on JT and he was my entire world for 5 years. Then when he wasn't anymore, I put it all on you. I need to do some stuff on my own, maybe actually go to therapy and figure some stuff out. I just," he grabbed my hand and squeezed it softly. "I need something for me. Because, we're not together and if I put all of that on you and you walk away, I have nothing."
"I understand, babe." He whispered, stroking his thumb across my hand. "You got some stuff to work out. I just hope you'll let me come by every now and then." He brought my hand to his lips, kissing it softly. "Maybe?"
"I'm not opposed." I smiled, standing from the couch with his hand still in mine. "It's going to be different. No more sleeping around and coming to me when you're lonely-"
"You're so wrong about that." He chuckled, shaking his head. "It's just you. It's been just you, B."
"Swear?"
"On my fucking life." He rasped, placing his forehead on mine. "Let me take you to dinner tomorrow." He asked lowly, entwining our fingers. I moved towards the door, the time becoming more obvious. We stopped at the door, his hand holding mine tightly. "Lets do this right this time."
"If I say no?" I looked up at him and he let my hand go, moving his hands up to my jaw line, holding my head in place. Everything changed. The butterflies I had felt every time he kissed, were magnified. His hands were warm and his eyes pierced mine while he tilted my head back and leaned his head down further. He brought me into a slow and sweet kiss, no tongue or rushed bites. Just a kiss.
"You'll let me know?" He licked his lips when he pulled back and opened the door. My heart was racing and my head was pounding. This wasn't the same. "Brit," he turned back and I looked at him, my lips parted when I saw the sadness in his eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you."