Being pregnant is the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced.I mean yeah,you get huge and your feet swell to the point where none of your shoes fit anymore.And you have to pee every 5 minutes but you none of this compares to the feeling of carrying a life. You radiate happiness and nothing beats that.
Shawn was even more excited than I was.When we found out about the pregnancy we were thrilled.So after we moved into our house again,we gathered our families and told them the amazing news.They were extremely happy,especially Nora who said,and I quote-"The mendes army will be getting a baby Mendes!!!"
Well,some things never change.
She was just joking tho',she is over her fan girl phrase...I hope.
Anyways at our first check up,we got to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time and we were left speechless.It had become our favorite melody.We kept the pregnancy a secret from the public and media until my stomach was visible enough for them to start noticing .We announced it through an instagram post.
❤👤 tagged; ShawnMendes
Liked by ShawnMendes,Skylarjones and 840,276 others.
AlanaDayes: blessed💫.ShawnMendes
Comments disabled for this post
After a couple of weeks we went to the check up and the doctor asked us wether we wanted to know the gender. We fought the urge to know the gender immediately and handed the envelope with the information to Aaliyah,which resulted into a baby shower/gender revealing party.
I put on a light violet dress on and straightened my hair before doing my makeup.Shawn was picking Karen and Manny from the airport.I heard the music blaring from the speakers on our garden...That's where the party was being held. Since heels we off limits due to my elephant feet,I settled in for a pair of flats.
The door flew open and I saw a breathless Shawn smile-"You look beautiful baby"
"No I don't"-I shook my head and suddenly I wanted to start crying.Stupid pregnancy hormones-"I'm huge.My feet look like an elephants"
Shawn grabbed my hands into his and sat on our bed-"Alana,there is a baby inside your body.Our baby. You're holding another life inside you and I think that makes you the most beautiful you've ever been."
"You still love me even though I weight like a thousand pounds right now?"-I bit my lip.I had no idea where these stupid questions and insecurities were coming from.I just had these breakdowns every now and then that I just couldn't control
"I've never loved you more than I do right now"-he whispered and I searched his eyes.They were sincere.He was telling the truth-"With every day that passes by,I love you even more...Don't ask me how that's possible because I don't know.All I know is that I might say that I've never loved you more than I love you today...But I already know I'm gonna love you even more tomorrow.And the day after that.Until death do us part"
That was it.I started crying
"Fuck"-Shawn cussed wiping away my tears-"Don't cry baby,I hate it when you're upset"
"I'm not upset"-I chuckled as he continued wiping away my tears-"I'm really happy"
"I'm happy that you're happy"-Shawn smiled along with me.He pecked my lips before placing a kiss on my forehead
"You guys,come downstairs"-Aaliyah yelled and Shawn rolled his eyes-"Shawn I know you're rolling your eyes but I don't give a damn,so get your ass down"
Shawn chuckled-"How the hell does she know that?"
"Even I would've known.It's a habit of yours"-I said as I got up and walked out the room.I walked downstairs and saw my mom and Karen laughing to something and that's when I saw Shawns little cousin Jason.He was down on the grass ,trying to catch a butterfly.
I smiled and looked down at my belly. Today I would finally get to know wether I was having a beautiful girl or a handsome boy.It didn't matter that much to me to be honest .All that mattered to me was that the baby was healthy.
I looked at Shawn,he was talking to Aaliyah and I couldn't help but wish the baby had his features.Tall,brown eyed. It was only then I realized that every time I thought about the baby I pictured a boy in my mind. A mini Shawn.
The garden was perfectly decorated.Blue and pink ribbons were everywhere to be seen.There was a small stage next to the swimming pool,a box standing in the middle of it. Aaliyah really takes things to a whole other level. All Shawn and I asked for was a small baby shower,but there were at least 50 people in here.Our friends,our close cousins-they were all here.
I saw cupcakes,pink and blue frosting on top of them,with little angle wings on top.
"Alana,blue or pink?"-Aaliyah's voice snapped me out of my thoughts
"Huh?"-I asked confused and that's when I saw Skylar holding blue and pink pins.
"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"-Skylar rephrased excited and I chuckled
"Boy"-I answered so she put the blue pin -"Why aren't you girls wearing pins?"
"That would be cheating...Cause we already know the gender"-Aaliyah winked before the went to someone else.
Shawn came by with Karen.I saw them both wearing pink pins-"You both think it's a girl?"
"Yes"-They answered at once and I chuckled.
"Why?"-I asked Shawn and he shrugged as he placed his hands on my belly
"I don't know.I just have this feeling"-he smiled down at the belly and I felt the baby kick-"We've got a kicker in there,huh?"
"You have no idea"-I admitted,the baby had been kicking so much this past week.That's when I saw my mom...She was wearing a pink pin too-"Am I the only one who thinks it's a boy?"
"Sorry sweets. I'm team girl"-My mom smiled kissing my cheek.That's when Brandon joined the conversation
"Don't worry Alana,I got your back"-I smiled,he was wearing a blue pin
"May I have your attention please"-Nora spoke on the microphone,we all stared at her.Aaliyah was standing on her side,holding Jason on her arms.-"Thank you all for being here.I know you're all excited to know the gender so let's not waste anymore time. Alana,Shawn can you please come up to the stage"
Shawn and I intertwined our hands and went up to the stage.
"Okay, so this is how we're gonna do it.You guys will open this box and some balloons will come out of them.If they're pink,you're gonna have a baby girl.If they're blue,you're gonna have a baby boy"
"Like me"-Jason shrieked in excitement which caused us all to laugh at him.I kissed his cheek before we bent down with Shawn to open the box...Which was empty
"Skylar did you forget to fill up the box?"-Aaliyah asked annoyed
"It's okay Aaliyah just tell us"-Shawn said and Aaliyah laughed
"You didn't think I'd mess this up ,did you?"-She smiled-"Skylar,bring in the real box"
And so Skylar brought another box,wrapped in a golden ribbon.Shawn and I grabbed the ribbon and pulled it.The box opened and pink balloons flew out...We were having a beautiful baby girl.My mouth hung open as everyone started cheering.Suddenly I was lifted off the ground,Shawn was holding me in his arms..looking the happiest I've ever seen him.
And that led to today.
I couldn't breath,pain shot through me like I was stabbed by a knife.I held Shawns hand tighter and yelled in pain.
"Alana,look at me"-My doctor urged-"Now push,with all you've got"
"Aghhh"-I yelled pushing as hard as I could-"I can't do this."
"Yes you can"-Another nurse yelled-"Just take a deep breath.And push like your life depends on it"
I nodded taking a deep breath before pushing again.My entire body was in pain.I didn't think it was humanly possible to be in so much pain.
"I can see the baby's head"-Shawn whispered more to himself than me-"You're almost there love"
I gave one last push and I heard the baby crying..My body had almost given up.I saw Shawn smiling,holding the baby on his arms.He looked down at me and smiled.I gave him a weak smile and my eyes closed down.Everything went black.
Shawns point of view
I smiled down at Alana,while holding our baby on my arms.She gave me a weak smile before she closed her eyes.She must be exhausted,
"Alana?"-The doctor called,another nurse grabbed the baby away from my arms
"We're gonna wash her up and bring her back to you in no time"-She smiled at me and I nodded,my eyes never leaving Alana
"Why isn't she waking up?"-I asked the doctor.My body went numb as I saw her laying there.Her chest was still.She wasn't breathing.Just as I took a step on her direction somebody grabbed me from behind,I pushed him away-"Let go of me!"
"Sir,I'm gonna have to ask you to leave"-he said as I heard Alanas doctor yell something about internal bleeding.Now there were at least 6 doctors around her.The man pushed me out the room,but before he entered the room again I asked him one thing
"Is she going to be okay?"-I asked running my fingers through my hair
"We're gonna do everything we can"-he promised and closed the door shut.I let my tears fall down as I kicked a vase to the ground.I let a frustrated sight and called my parents and Alanas.My mom was the first to arrive
"Your dad is parking the car,he'll be here in no time"-She said as she sat down next to me-"Are you okay? What happened?"
"She gave birth to a beautiful child mom.Everything was alright,I was holding the baby,she was smiling and then suddenly she closed her eyes and now I don't know what's going on"-I explained-"She's been in there for an hour now.I need to know what's going on. I can't lose her mom"
She wrapped her arms around me-"Shhh,she's going to be alright.She's strong Shawn,she's going to be just fine"
"I've never seen her look weaker than she looked today mom"-I confessed-"She was in pain..."
"Every woman is while giving birth Shawn.But you forget about the pain the second you look at your child."
"I don't think she even got to see her,mom"-I cried-"I wish it was me in there instead of her.I wish I could take her pain away"
"I know you do honey"-my mom assured-"But you need to be strong Shawn. If not for yourself,for Alana and the baby"
"Rose"-I whispered-"Alana wanted to name her Rose"
"That's a beautiful name"-My mom smiled and I nodded in agreement
"She's beautiful mom"-I told her honestly-"I've dreamt about how she would look like when Alana was pregnant...Truth is mom,no dream did justice to her.She was more beautiful than you could ever imagine.Eventhough she was covered in blood when I held her,you could notice immediately that her eyes were identical to Alanas.I held her on my arms while she cried and for a moment she opened her eyes and looked straight into mine...She had my heart before she was even born,but I had never felt something so strong until now"
"Mr Mendes?"-I heard a nurse call,I looked in her direction-"I'm sorry for disturbing you.Your daughter is in the baby room,all dressy up,most likely sleeping.I thought you would want to know."
"Thank you"
"The baby room is that way"-she pointed down the hall-"The first turn to the left.You can't miss it,it's glass,so you'll see lots of babies "
"Can I go and see her now?"-I asked her and she gave me a nod.-"Thank you"
"Are you going to see her?"-my mom asked me and I shook my head-"why?"
"I can't leave Alana alone mom."
"Shawn,you're not doing anything by standing at the door.You're not leaving her alone...but you need to look after your daughter.I'll stay will Lana if you want to"
"Could you do that for me?"-I asked her and she nodded.I gave her a nod before walking down the hall to the babys room.I entered and looked around,I spotted her immediately.She was wearing a pair of pink baby clothes,sleeping peacefully.In her bed,there was a letter attached
Mendes
And her weight and height.There wasn't a first name written yet.So I pulled a pen from my pocket and wrote Rose.
Her lips were out in a pout,her chest rising and falling as she slept with no worry.
"Hey,Rose"-I spoke to her lowly-"Well,here we are,the two of us. Your mom she's uh...she's going to be here soon hopefully. I want to be strong for the both of you,I really do"-I told her honestly-"But I can't.Your moms in there fighting for her life and I'm here crying,there's nothing I can do to help her. But she's strong and stubborn so hopefully she'll wake up and she'll kick my ass for getting her pregnant in the first place"-I chuckled-"She loved you so much before she even knew you.We both did.We discussed many times how you'd look like and to be honest,you're even more beautiful that we imagined you'd be"
I stared at her porcelain skin,her rosy cheeks and her plump lips.She was like an angel.
She was everything.
But no matter how much Rose meant to me...A world without Alana would be way too lonely and sad for me to handle.And I may lose her forever..
💫