When I awoke, the first thing that my senses captured was the ribbing of the thick rope around my wrists. Taking in deep breaths, I tried to stop the panic from rising. My eyes stayed firmly closed, attempting to block out my reality. A muffled crash sounded in the distance and I flinched, my eyes snapping open to search for the sound only to find that I was completely alone in the dim room. The chair that I sat on gave an ominous creak and I tried to stop the tears that had risen. I had never been so scared. The room that I was in felt damp and musky. I tried not to focus on the looming door to my left or the shadows that hid under the table to my right. The anticipation grew inside me and my muscles tensed as I waited for my step-dad to enter.
Closing my eyes I tried to imagine Sam's face. His midnight blue eyes came clearly into my mind and I took strength from them. He was my strength. Regret washed through me like the ocean pounds against the sand, fierce and unrelenting. Why couldn't I tell him that I loved him? I felt it now more than ever, that all encompassing love for Sam. I was head over heals in love, and the man would never know. In that moment, I made a promise to myself, that if I ever made it out of this, I would tell him. I didn't care. I would say it now if my lips weren't trembling so hard.
It felt like hours before the doorknob finally jiggled, alerting me to my step-dad's presence. I sat stiff in the chair as he entered. I had never seen him look so haggard. Even after he'd been falling over drunk, he'd never once looked this bereft. It was as if all the hope had been drawn right out of him, leaving only the darkness that came with despair. In that moment I even felt bad for him. He'd lost everything he ever had in his life, his wife, his job.
His eyes landed on me with a menacing sneer and I tried to remain still, not showing the fear that was gradually building inside me. I felt as if my heart was going to burst. I longed for that breaking point. At least it would get me out of this nightmare.
"I never liked you." The serious tone of his voice startled me almost as much as his words.
I took a deep breath. His hatred of me was nothing new to me. Not sure if he wanted a reply I whispered, "I know."
"Even before I married Lin, I knew you were a good for nothing brat. And then you took her from me, you took my wife. You killed her." His words pounded into my chest like a hammer, shattering my carefully constructed composure.
How could he say that? My mom had died of cancer. It was no one's fault, least of all my own. But years of listening to his abusive words had these new ones sinking deep into my skin. Did he truly believe that I had killed my own mother, that I was the reason she was dead?
"And every day since, I've had to look at your worthless face and be reminded that she's gone." His voice was a strangled moan, the grief that he felt bleeding into his words. He moved around the room, pacing back and forth in front of my chair like a crazed person.
My breath hitched as I tried to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. He had loved my mother so deeply. Her death had drove him to drinking, to abuse. After all this time I found that I could not fault him for his love. He felt too deeply. Love seemed to be a curse. But even as these despairing thoughts ran through my mind, I thought of Sam. Love could be a curse, but it could also be magical, wonderful.
"You don't have to do this. I know you loved my mom. She wouldn't want you to do this." My pleading words were said in a gentle whisper.
I saw something change in his eyes, but is was not the change I wanted. Instead of warming, his eyes grew cold and detached.
He came to a stop in front of my chair, leaning down into my face, "Shut up bitch." I could smell the sweat that had drenched his skin. The scent made my stomach churn and I turned my face away.
Before I could react, I felt a sharp slap of pain land on my cheek. I felt my lip swell and I tasted metal on my lips. I refused to cry, instead I sat unnaturally still, waiting for the next blow. When none came, I looked up to see my step-dad walking to the opposite end of the room. Cold fear entered my heart as my eyes landed on what he was picking up from the table. The metal of the gun seemed to glint in the dim light. Sweat ran down the back of my neck, making a cool line on my back. My limbs locked and I pressed into the back of the chair, instinct making me lean away from the weapon.
I'd seen my step-dad with a gun more times than I could count. He was a cop after all. But I had never seen him look so ready to use the weapon. His back was turned to me as he slowly loaded the metal cylinder. Turning around he pointed the gun at me, his face grim.
"You're going to be my way out, Rose. They want you dead. If I bring them what they want, they'll forgive me. I'll finally get the fucking respect I deserve," he spat out in harsh staccato.
"P-please," I whispered. A sob captured in my throat, threatening to burst.
"Shut up. Your a worthless, good for nothing little brat. Your deserve to die. I'll only be doing the world a favor. Your little fuck of a boyfriend will thank me for getting rid of you." He sneered as he walked towards me, his gun hand trembling slightly.
I closed my eyes, finding comfort in the darkness. I felt the cool metal of the barrel press against my forehead. I made one last desperate attempt at undoing the ropes that bound my wrists. Fire spread as I rubbed my skin raw trying to loosen the knots.
Taking a deep breath I accepted my fate. There was no escape for me this time. No one was coming to save me. Sam couldn't be here for me this time. A single tear dripped down my cheek and I my chest tightened. I'm so sorry Sam. Please forgive me. I wanted to fight for him, I wanted to live for him, but there was nothing I could do.
Suddenly a phone rang in the silence. My heart pounding deafeningly in my ears I felt my step-dad move away to answer the call. Any noise after that was blocked out from my mind. Keeping my eyes closed, I tried to shut off all of my senses, enclosing myself in the warm cocoon of nothingness. Time passed but I didn't care. My breath was even and slow, my body relaxed. And that was when I felt it, a slight loosening in the ropes. Staying relaxed, I wriggled my fingers, trying to get free. Opening my eyes I watched my step-dad's back my heart pounding in my chest. One of my hands came free and I almost let out a cry of relief. Holding the rope so that it wouldn't fall to the floor I kept my arms around the back of the chair. I knew that I would only have one chance to get away.
It felt like hours before my step-dad finally turned back around. His hands were white around the gun and I could see his body trembling with anger. He stalked towards me and I tensed as I waited for him to get closer. When he was right in front of me, I swung my fist around and straight into his face. A yell burst from his mouth along with several other uncomplimentary phrases, and he backed away, clutching his face.
Ignoring the deep ache that flared in my shoulder and the pain that crashed along my knuckles, I scrambled out of the chair. Unbalanced and aching from sitting in a chair for too long, my legs carried me to the floor. Scrambling on hands and knees, I reached for the door. Just as my hand fell on the doorknob a hand wrapped around the back of my neck, drawing me back. My head slammed into the concrete and I cried out, my voice echoing along the musky stone walls. I tried to scramble away but to no avail.
A loud noise came from the other side of the door and I felt my step-dad tense above me. Curling on the floor, I waited as muffled footsteps stopped outside the door. Letting caution go I let out a shrill scream for help, praying that whoever stood on the other side of the door was a friend and not a foe. The door banged open and suddenly there was a deafening noise, like a firework going off but more precise.
My mind froze into ice as I took in the scene before me. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Sam fell to his knees, a growing patch of red seeping into his t-shirt. Men flooded the room and another shot was fired but at this point my mind was numb.
"Noooo!" The wail came from my lips, but I heard and felt nothing. Scrambling towards Sam's figure that now rested with his back to the wall, my hands found a home on his chest, trying to press the still flowing wound. "No, no no. Breathe dammit, live."
A pain like no other flooded through me as I saw the life fade from Sam's eyes. This couldn't be happening. Any minute now I would wake up. This had to be a nightmare, a horrible, terrifying, nightmare. None of this was real.
Figures and voices moved around me but I was simply frozen in time. Gentle hands tried to pry me away from Sam's body but my fingers were like stone on his t-shirt.
"Rose. You have to let go. We can't help him if you don't let go." The familiar voice brought me back to the living breathing world. Shawn's arms wrapped around me in a tight hold as he held me away from Sam's limp form. Sobs wracked my body as I buried my face in his chest, blocking out the reality that surrounded me.
This was all my fault. Sam was dead because of me. It should have been me, lying on that floor.
He never should have loved me. I was poison, I was deadly. And now he was dead. And I was still here. But I didn't want to be. I wanted to be with him, wherever he was. So much pain. There was so much pain. But this was a different kind of hurt, one that crushed my chest and made it impossible for me to breath.
I wished that none of this had ever happened.
If I could just go back to the beginning, I would change everything.
So we have finally reached the climax of our story. I will leave at that. Please tell me what you guys think!!!
VOTE!!! Comment!!! Share!!! ~Wilde
PS: I'm still looking for reading requests??? Anyone???