Chapter Twenty Two
Jackson's POV
You can never expect smooth sailing in a relationship. You should never expect a smooth relationship when your fucking a closeted gay. You have two choices, stay and be patient, or leave. I was in the first category. I've been there before. In many ways I still am. I still don't tell everyone I meet that I like men. I mean I never told Blake, he found out when he came to Scotland. Hell, I lied to him at first, when we went to the club, I pretended to like women.
Perhaps it's experience? I've never had a need to tell anyone I'm gay. Never had to tell family or childhood friends. Blake was the first person I've ever needed to tell, the first person I've ever come out to. So how can I walk away from Slater? I'd be a hypocrite. If I, a man who accepts they are gay, can't bring myself to tell the people I call friends that I like men, how can I expect that from Slater? A man who's denied his feelings for who knows how long. He will have millions discussing his sexuality, his relationship.
Patience is a virtue and I have to relish in the progress we achieve. There are Alpha's who know, his parents know, my closest friend knows. We might not be at the end of the journey but we are somewhere. We have made progress, even if it's only small.
I'd eventually pulled away from him after a few hours and had laid on the sofa in his office. Although I was still pained by Slater's words, I guess you could say my thoughts led to a mutual understanding. I'd concluded that it wasn't about being marked, it's about having to publicly accept his sexuality and publicly accept his relationship. If he could make the mark go away when he's in public then I don't think he'd object to it. Right now, I think he'd want it. But he commands respect and authority and his fear is people will lose that respect or question his authority if he's in love with a man.
It doesn't settle me, it doesn't make me happy, but I do understand it. Do I have to accept it? No, I could walk away and say I deserve better, I could be selfish and only think about myself. But I can't argue with the feeling that's deep in my chest that tells me that this man is made for me. That I will have the happiest years of my life with him. I can't leave someone who's so torn between what he's known for so many years and what he desires more than anything. It's an internal battle only he can decide on and I don't want to put the added pressure on him. Although, I can't say I don't fear what my wolf is capable of.
I was broken from my thoughts when I felt a presence standing over me. I opened my eyes to see the beautiful man who I can't stop thinking about. "Come, we have work to do," he states, moving away and walking toward the door. That demanding tone never helps. It always makes me tingle, it begs me to disobey him so he'll punish me. "I won't say it again, get up," he bites out and I know he can smell how aroused I am. I think he does it on purpose, he knows how it turns me on.
I huff and pull myself up from the sofa. Following him down the halls, I can't help but stare at his muscles. I want to run my hands across them, touch every inch of his skin. God, he makes me horny in ways I've never felt before.
As we get outside the fresh air caresses my skin and the sun beams down onto me. I can smell the grass and the soil and it instantly fills me with happiness. We walk into the forest, the birds tweet around us, and the leaves rustle against the soft breeze. When we reach a clearing, Slater starts to strip. His shirt, pants, and finally, his briefs. Don't tell me he wants to fuck in the forest.
He turns around, my eyes are stuck to his firm abs and semi-hard shaft. My pants are uncomfortably tight at the sight and as I reach my hand down to readjust, his eyes can't help but follow. He can see and smell how aroused I am at the sight of him. I could see how aroused that made him, his shaft hardening as he stared over at me. God he's so big.
He steps forward and pulls my shirt over my head. He can't help himself, he lets the shirt drop, grazes his hands across my nipples, and watches them harden at his touch. I let out a soft moan as he does before he bends down, pulling down my pants and briefs, exposing my hard wood and leaving me naked. He stands back up and towers over me, a smirk pulling at his lips as his eyes lock with mine. He runs this finger from the base of my member right to the tip and I let out a deep throaty moan. "It doesn't take a lot does it," he mutters down to me before stepping away from my body.
As his heat leaves me, his touch no longer there, I can't help but moan in displeasure. I want him to take me on this forest floor so badly. "Compose yourself," you can hear the amusement in his voice and I close my eyes, taking deep breaths to stop the dying urge to pin him down and fuck him. When I open my eyes, Slater's intense stare is across my body and I do everything I can to ignore it.
"I want you to shift," he says as his eyes lock back with mine, no longer admiring every inch of my body. I huff, closing my eyes and trying to pull that unfamiliar pressure forward. It's uncomfortable like someone's put a weight on my head. Then my bones begin to crack and the burning pain takes over my body. It's there for what feel like forever, screaming through my body in agony. I hadn't shifted in a while, over six months to be exact and the breaking of my bones hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt before. Slowly it settled and when I open my eyes I find myself on four legs, fur sprouting from my pores, my face longer and a tail is swinging behind me. I peer up at Slater whose bones are cracking and you can see the little pain it brings him. He's done this so often it's natural.
His large black wolf stands in front of me, we're the same size, both larger than your average wolf. I then notice the ribbons of gold light encasing my wolf, dancing around me and shimmering in the shaded forest. It's mesmerising. Slater approaches me, brushing his fur against mine, and the contact tingles through me. Then he pulls away and leaps onto me, pinning my wolf beneath his. He growls into the back of my head, warning me not to struggle, wanting me to submit. Was this why he'd brought me out here? I doubted it, I think he had other plans but seeing and feeling the power that radiated off him, it intimidated his wolf. It pulled that desire to be in control, to dominate me.
It wasn't going to be that easy for him though. I push my back up, causing him to jump in the air and stumble a few feet away from me. I pounce up and tackle him to the ground, his wolf beneath me as I tower over him. He's quick to leap and flip us over so I'm under him, pinning me down with his body, his teeth to my throat as he growls at me to submit. I nip his left paw and he yelps from the unexpected contact, allowing me to take advantage and pin him once more. Then something in me pushes forward and Slater struggles to move. It's no longer my body weight keeping him pinned beneath me but a force, a force I was creating was keeping him there.
I could see his panic, his wolf was yelping as it used all its strength to try and move away from my hold. He wanted to get free, he wanted to pin me and force me to submit to him. But I couldn't stop, whatever I was doing, I was doing it without trying. He started to slow, his wolf no longer able to fight me anymore. He accepted defeat and showed me his neck. He submitted to me. Alpha's only submit to the king. The Alpha King submits to no one.
The force stopped and Slater yanked himself away from me. I was sure he'd kill me. He only stumbled away from me, confused, burning with rage, but mostly hurt. He'd never submitted to anyone. He was so sure he'd make me submit. He's the Alpha King, he never once suspected I was stronger than him.
I go to approach him, but the growl is so sinister, I question whether it's my mate in front of me. He's threatened. Hurt. Humiliated. Another inch and mate or not he will kill me. I do the only thing I know I should do. I roll onto my back and exposed myself. This isn't just submission, it's absolute submission. It would take less than 5 seconds for him to kill me like this. A position like this restricts all ability to fight back, there is no coming back if he chose to attack me whilst I'm like this. This is more powerful than showing your neck, this is telling him he has the power, he has the control on whether I live or die. That I am below him. I am his bitch.
So why didn't I boast about it? Why don't I make him feel small and claim rights to be King? Because I don't want that. Because this dark and mysterious black wolf is my guidance. He's my direction. He's my authority. But most of all, he's my mate.
Authority, power, and influence all matter to him, but for me, I wouldn't know where to start. Power is useless to me. I like to sit on the sidelines. I don't want the responsibility of other people, of packs or Alphas. I just want to be happy and what makes me happy is seeing Slater happy. So if submitting to him keeps him content, then I'll do it in a heartbeat. This is his territory. He's my leader. He's my Alpha.
I felt his nose press up against my throat, he could rip it out in seconds. It unnerved me and my wolf, but I knew deep down he'd kill himself before he ever hurt me. He pulled away and shifted back. His pride is hurt. I'd damaged his ego and I didn't mean to. His naked figure towered over me and I rolled over standing in front of him. He glared down at me and started to walk away.
I whimpered after him, clasping my mouth around his ankle and causing him to trip and fall with a thud against the ground. That was only going to anger him more. He turned to face me and I pinned him down, my wolf towering over his human body. As I shifted, the blinding pain scorched through me once more and I lay my naked body against his.
"Please don't be angry with me," I pleaded. I didn't know what I could say or do to calm him down. I'd humiliated him. Embarrassed him in the worst imaginable way. I knew he wouldn't forgive me without doing the same back.
He gripped my hair in a tight grasp and yanked my head back, exposing my neck to him. "Who is your Alpha?" He growled and it was chilling. I've feared Slater before, but this was sinister. This shot an anxiety through me that pales my face and my throat close. When he's angry like this, there is no one on this earth scarier. This is why he's the king.
"You're my Alpha," I whimpered, I could feel the arousal building in me. His dominance always turns me on. I'd never want to dominate him. Even if I was stronger, more powerful than him, deep down, that desire in the pit of my stomach screams to submit to him. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I like to fight back. I like to prove I'm strong, that I'm powerful, just to remind him why he's mated to me. But that's only for him to know.
He brushes his lips against my mark and I can sense what he's going to do. He wants to remind me who I submit to. He wants to remind me who's in charge. He wants me to know he's the Alpha.
His grip on my hair only tightens, his other hand pushing his body up so my lower half is pressing into his lap. I could feel him against me, pulsing and hard. This wasn't about pleasure, this is about dominance and control. This is to humiliate me. It should disgust me that he gets pleasure out of embarrassing me and degrading me. But it doesn't, it arouses me beyond belief. "Say it louder," he hisses, gripping my hip and pushing me harder against his shaft, forcing me to grind against him.
"You're my Alpha," I shout and I feel him relaxing against me. His anger still pulsing through him but he's more content that he has me under his control. He's less threatened by me but he still wants to punish me. Still wants to degrade me and dominate me.
"Who's your mate?" He growls into my ear and I shiver at the question, making my body tingle against his touch and shift against him. I hear his soft groan as my ass rubs against his erection which now sits between my cheeks, brushing against my entrance.
"You're my mate," I whisper, the seductive tone not going unnoticed.
"Say it louder," he hisses again, his grip burning my scalp.
"Your my mate," I cry out, tears streaming down my face as he degrades me. As the words scream from my lips, he sinks his teeth into my neck. I grip his hair, pressing him further into me as euphoria clouds my vision. It's mind-blowing pleasure. I moan out at him as my body ignites with elation. My vision is dark, my heads light and my body convulses with orgasm after orgasm. Warm splashes of cum coat our chests and abs, it's one of the greatest feelings in the world. It took a while before it started to wear off. I panted against him and only then did I feel the wetness between my cheeks. He hadn't even entered me. I almost couldn't believe it. He'd ejaculated just from the sound of my moans and the small squirm of my body against his. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me feel good, knowing that I had this effect on him.
He pulls his teeth out of me and I shiver. He moved so his tongue could brush against me to clean up the wound he'd created. I stroke his hair as I press against him, my body weak and unable to pick itself up. "I can't move," I whimper and I feel his hands caress my back as he picks us up. I can feel his cum drip from me and if I wasn't burnt out it would arouse me all over again. He carried me back through the house and into the bedroom and by the time my head hit the sheets I was out like a light.
~
I promised to abstain. Promised to make the relationship between Slater and me, more than just sex. But even promising myself didn't work, I just couldn't help the way my body reacted around him. Not to mention he'd marked me again, and worse of all, he'd done it in the forest. In a public space where anyone could have seen us. Why did that arouse me more? Was it the idea of being caught? The idea he didn't care if we got caught? Or the fact its humiliating? Maybe all of them arouse me.
When I finally came too I found my back pressed against someone else's. Slater. He never slept this close to me, never cuddled me. He hated it. Loathed it even. The only time he likes our bodies close is when he has 8 inches inside of me. I was afraid that I'd spoil the moment but I couldn't help myself. I turned around and pressed my naked body into his, pushing my face into his chest and taking in his scent. I didn't expect him to wrap his arms around me and pull me closer, but he was fast asleep. In fact, he's so deep in sleep that his mouth is open and a small amount of drool is pooling against his chin.
I should be aroused right now, having Slater's naked body against mine meant it was an obvious outcome. Although I felt horny, my body didn't react at all. You could smell the pheromones my body released, but my shaft remained flaccid. He's broken me.
"You're not broken, you're tired," his muffled and husky voice made me jump, dragging me back from my thoughts. How did he know that was what I was thinking? I didn't say anything, I didn't want to sound crazy. Instead, I just let him feather his touch across my back as I relaxed against his body. This is what I wanted. I just wanted him close to me. Maybe it was the empty island that made him act like this. Knowing that nobody was around encouraged him to act on his instincts.
When he started to pull away I growled at him. "Five more minutes," I pleaded but this time it wasn't going to work.
"I have shit to do. Get off me," he hissed, his mind now fully lucid and I had the urge to punch him square in the nose. He'd just ruined a perfectly good moment.
I lifted my head, scowling at him. "Fuck off then," I bit out as I pulled my body away from his and pushed myself to the other side of the bed, pressing my face into the pillows. It didn't last long because he yanked me by my waist, turned me over, and pinned me against the bed.
"Say it again," he growled, brows furrowed, and I knew he was challenging me. Daring me to talk back to him again, because if I did, I'd see the consequences. I didn't answer back, I was angry, but not angry enough to piss him off. Instead, I rolled my eyes and stared at the wall behind him, waiting for him to be satisfied that I wasn't going to backchat him so he'd let me out of his grip.
He gripped my jaw and forced me to look at him. "That's what I thought," he smirked down at me, a playful look in his eyes before pressing his lips to mine. It shocked me. He'd only ever kissed me like this out of panic. There was no reason for him to kiss me. He wasn't trying to initiate sex. He wasn't aroused or doing this out of force. It was just a loving kiss you'd give your partner. When he started to pull away, I panicked. I hadn't had time to respond. I hadn't moved my lips against his. I hadn't relished the feeling.
In a bid to stop him from moving away, I dragged him back, gripping his hair and pressing his lips to mine again. I caressed his face with one hand and ran the other through his hair. I bit and sucked his lower lip as our lips brushed against each other. The wet, soft kiss just felt so right, I could do it all day. It wasn't rushed or forceful. It was a gentle, loving kiss and it warmed my heart in ways I could have cried. I didn't though, I think my emotions might be slightly more stable now. But the surge of happiness I was feeling wasn't like any other moment we'd had together. If I was still overly sensitive, it would have been enough to make me cry.
Feeling his nose brush mine as I pushed his face closer to mine. It wasn't enough. I pushed my tongue inside his mouth and our tongues stroked against one another. It was an unusual feeling, but it felt so good. His tongue was rough against mine and I just wanted him closer, I wanted to feel every inch of him. He slowed down the kiss until only our lips moved against each other again.
He pulled away from me and I moved my hand from his hair to caress his cheek as my eye stayed locked with his. I was satisfied. Beyond satisfied. That was so much better than having another five minutes.
He scowled down at me, analysing my face, but I was too busy staring at his beautiful dark eyes and stroking the soft skin of his cheek. He snatched my hand to stop touching him, snapping me out of my dream-like state. "Carry on acting like a bitch and I'll start treating you like one," he hissed out, and I would have been annoyed but he swooped back down and pressed his lips to mine once more in a short peck. I smirked at him as he pulled himself away, he wanted to boss me around and act uncaring but I could see the flash in his eyes, he was happy. He likes to tease me, kiss me, and hold me close to him. He's just not used to it.
He made his way into the bathroom and I couldn't help the sigh of content that left my lips. Maybe the moment wasn't so ruined after all.
I could hear him showering and maybe I was testing my luck. I pulled myself away from the sheet, my body still sticky from our moment in the woods. I opened the bathroom door and I knew he heard me, I could see him washing through the fogged-up glass, he was just ignoring that I'd entered the room.
I pulled open the door and the hot steam poured out as it met the cool air. The water ran down his body, caressing every dip and curve and it made my mouth water. He peered down at me as I stepped in, closing the door behind me. He stepped to the side and I walked into the stream of water, letting it cascade over my hair and down my body, washing away the dried cum stains from our moment in the forest.
The water was warm against my skin, soothing and inviting. I felt Slater behind me and I turned to face him. He was about to take the body wash but I grabbed it just before him. I didn't know what I was thinking, I just reacted. I just did whatever felt natural.
I poured it the liquid into my hand and started to rub it across my body. His eyes couldn't move away from me as I touched and rubbed my body in front of him. It aroused him. My body was still broken, I felt aroused but my friend downstairs wasn't willing to make an appearance. I reached down and grabbed him, touching myself as Slater's watchful eyes soaked me in. The soap provided much-needed lubrication as I tugged myself playfully but he only managed to get semi-hard. It was enough to satisfy Slater's keen gaze and I stared back lustfully as I stroked my shaft.
I stopped my teasing and washed the soap under the warm water, but I wasn't finished. I grabbed the gel once more and took a step towards Slater. I started to rub the soap in and I could sense he wanted to pin me down. "Don't," I warn and he glares at me, he doesn't like being told what to do. "Just wait," I whisper into his ear before he pins me down anyway for bossing him around. He's the Alpha. He's the only one allowed to give out orders. "You'll enjoy this," my tone was seductive enough to make him melt against my touch. I pressed my hands into his chest, rubbing them against him as he closed his eyes.
I massaged his shoulders and chest, avoiding his nipples so I didn't cause those tingles of pleasure to shoot through his shaft. I rubbed down his arms and to his hands before moving to his abs. I moved my hands in circles, letting the ridges of his body flutter my fingertips. I was inches from the base of his shaft but I didn't dare touch it. I bent down, my face millimetres away from his hard cock, which twitched and leaked, begging to be touched. I rubbed his legs, moving closer and closer up, right in between his thighs, but I didn't touch him, not even a little bit.
His eyes were still firmly shut, his lips slightly ajar as his breathing was heavier. I smirked, even though he couldn't see me, a devious idea springing to mind as I stopped my touch and moved away. As I went to make my exit from the shower, his hand gripped mine and yanked me back to my spot, he peered down at me, eyes dark with lust, a soft smirk on his face like he'd caught me red-handed. "You missed a spot," his deep husky voice muttered as he yanked my hand, encasing it with his own, and forced me to grip his pulsing shaft.
He made my hand move along his length, using it to stroke himself as he lustfully gazed down at me. He dipped his head down and brought our lips together causing me to grip him tighter and making him moan against my lips. It was sexy, so sexy, I wanted him to moan against me and I didn't want him to stop. He moved his hand away from mine and I tugged at his cock faster, twisting and pulling as our lips moved fiercely against each other. I wanted to please him, I wanted to feel him unfold against me.
I pressed him up against the shower wall, stroking him faster as my tongue forced its way into his mouth. He groaned against me and that's what I wanted. I wanted him to moan for me. I pressed the palm of my hand against the head of his penis and he hissed into my mouth. As I applied pressure he moaned again and again against my lips and god was I turned on at the sound. "You like it when I touch you like that?" I'd never talked dirty to someone before, but it felt so natural with him. I was afraid he'd stop me, that he'd feel less masculine hearing me talk to him in that way and I'd ruined the mood, but it was too late, the words had already left my mouth.
I was surprised when my words caused him to moan loudly against my lips and grip my hair so my mouth pressed deeper against his, the other, clasping my ass and massaging it against his palm. I was surprised because Slater was more of a soft moaner with the occasional grunt, he'd never moaned like that with me before. But he was letting himself go. Enjoying the feel of my touch and not suppressing the way it feels. As my palm rubbed the head of his cock and my hand stroked his shaft, he couldn't stop himself from moaning against me. He tried desperately to use my lips to stop the sounds from escaping him but the sounds continues to echo through the room.
He eventually pulled his lips from mine, and pressed his head to the back of the wall, allowing his moans to escape through the room. The occasional "don't stop", "just like that", "right there," whispered from his lips between the loud moans of pleasure. I couldn't peel my eyes away from him. His eyes tightly shut, brows pulled together, mouth open, and hair stuck to his face. "Please make me cum," he begged, whispering out the words but it didn't feel like he wanted to say that out loud. Yet I didn't question it because it only aroused my more, only made me touch him faster. He was letting me see how much pleasure I brought him, whether he wanted to or not. I couldn't understand why he was moaning like this but I didn't care, I just wanting to hear more.
"Jackson," he groaned out, and hearing my name against his lips made me involuntarily moan. I could feel as the liquid traveled through his shaft and I knew why he was calling out my name. "I'm gonna cum," he forced out. "Ah, oh fuck," he moaned out, his hands on my hair and body as he balled them in his fists, his face scrunching up in total euphoria as the warm cum sprayed across my hands. It was like he'd never felt pleasure like it before. His body shook against me as the orgasm rippled through his body before he drop his head against me.
He panted into my neck, his chest quickly rising and falling and I could feel and hear his heart hammer in his chest. "What the fuck did you do," he hissed against my skin, and if he wasn't so exhausted against me, I had a feeling he'd be a lot angrier. I didn't know what he was talking about though. All I did was please him? Why is he angry? "You and your fucking magic, I should cut your fucking hands off for this," he hissed against my skin as he held me tightly against him, refusing to let me go. I couldn't help it, I wish I could, but I started to laugh. A belly laugh that brought tears to my eyes.
"Sorry" I managed to spit out between laughter. I couldn't stop. I didn't know why I was laughing. Perhaps it was the fact I was being blamed for making him feel good. When I calmed down I sighed and pressed my lips to his cheek, making an effort to soothe him. "I promise I'm not laughing at you," I whisper, caressing his hair. "It felt incredible to make you feel that good. Watching you moan like that is the sexiest thing I've ever seen" I carry on, but the rage in the air was suffocating. "Please say something, why are you mad?" I mutter stroking the nape of his neck. He refused to let me pull away, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist and his face stuffed into my neck.
Why was he acting like this? If he was angry that he'd received sexual pleasure from a man again, wouldn't he have stormed out by now? No, I don't think this it's about that. Magic?
"You think I used magic to heighten your pleasure?" I say it out loud and it felt so stupid to say. How could it have been magic? I know the Luna Goddess told me I'm part warlock but I didn't think that mean I could do this? Even so, he's angry that I used magic to make him cum?
"I'm angry that you made me moan like a fucking bitch in heat," he hisses out through gritted teeth, almost as if it was painful to tell me. He pushes my body away from his, like he'd finally got the energy to hold himself up, no longer needing my body to support him. He avoids my gaze as he puts his body under the cascading water, his back facing me as he refuses to look at me.
"How are you reading my thoughts," I whisper, the thought wasn't meant to leave my head, and believe me it sounded far more stupid coming out my mouth.
"I'm not," he spat out through gritted teeth as the water trickled down his body. "You're casting them to me." He's angry with me. He's angry that he came undone like that to my touch. Moaning and begging me not to stop. That wasn't in his nature. To him, it was embarrassing to act that way in front of someone else.
"I'm your mate. Moaning because you like the way it feels isn't embarrassing. It should never be embarrassing in front of me," I sigh, before walking towards the shower door and pulling it open.
It all comes back to patience. I have to be patient with him. That was the only thought I had as I lay down on the sheets in our bedroom. Our relationship, our dynamic, it's new to him. He's only just coming to terms with being with a man and even if it was involuntary, I shouldn't have made him express himself like that if he wasn't ready. It was selfish. I'd done it for my pleasure, because I wanted to watch him squirm and moan underneath me. One day he'll want to, but today, well, today wasn't that day.