"Harry, stop!" I shouted running after him once I realised he wasn't going to come back.
He ignored me, so I fastened up my pace and I called him again.
All of sudden he stopped, and stayed still in the middle of the street, waiting for me to catch up.
"Harry" I said again when I reached him, wrapping my fingers around his wrist, in hope that it would've stopped him from going away. "What happened?"
He said nothing and kept staring ahead, so I moved, from next to him, to in front of him. I gave a fast glance behind him, Gemma was still shouting at Louis, their voices could be heard from where we stood, but it was almost impossible to understand what they were saying and I wasn't exactly interested in that anyway. I let go of his wrist and put my hands on his cheeks, forcing him to meet my eyes. "Please, talk to me" I begged him, trying to understand what was going on in his head.
When I forced his attention on me wetness started to pool in his eyes, and he looked behind me, as if he wasn't able to stand my gaze.
"Do you want to go home?" I asked him, and he nodded slightly.
I took his hand and started pulling him back to where the car was parked. When we walked next to Gemma and Louis, Harry gripped my hand tighter, and I could literally feel his nervousness as if it was mine.
Gemma, who was angrily whispering to Louis, looked up, curiously. Since I was behind Louis, I took it as my chance to mouth "Home" to her, and she nodded in understanding. She kept the conversation calm until we were far enough, and then I heard her shout something that sounded like "you need to get the fuck out of Harry's life."
When we reached the car, I took Harry's key from his pocket, since he was so lost in his thoughts that he couldn't have been of any help. I unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for him, making sure he'd buckled himself in before closing it and going to the driver's side.
During the car ride he kept looking outside of the window, but I could hear him sniffle every once in a while. I moved my hand from the steering wheel to his, that was gripping the corner of his seat tightly. I started drawing circles absentmindedly on the back of his hand with my thumb, hoping to provide him with some kind of comfort.
I parked the car and went on his side to open his door, and he silently stepped out. I locked the car and directed him towards the lift, putting my hand on his back. When the lift came we walked in, and I pushed the button that would've taken us to our floor. I kept staring at Harry worriedly, not really understanding why he was so upset, since Louis's comment hadn't been particularly aggressive. Maybe it was more because of what he had so carelessly mentioned.
The doors of the lift opened and I walked Harry to his door and asked him quietly for his key. He gave it to me after a while of searching, and I opened his door.
"Hey" I said, and he looked at me, but didn't say a word.
"What's wrong?" I asked him again.
His eyes widened and he shook his head slightly, letting me know that he didn't want to tell me.
I stepped closer and hugged him, not knowing what else to do to try to make him feel better.
As soon as I did, he wrapped his arms around me, leaning on me. I hugged him tighter, hoping to make him understand that I was there, and that I would've not left. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, probably Gemma asking if everything was okay, but I ignored it, not daring to let him go. After a while, I felt wetness on my neck, and I distanced myself just enough to look at his face. He was crying. I hugged him for some more seconds, then I let him go, but kept one of my hands around his, and he looked down.
"I'm gonna help you to go to bed, is that okay?" I asked him, in worry that if I'd let him go he would've just cuddled up somewhere and cried himself to sleep, and he nodded, drying his tears with the hand I wasn't touching.
I closed his door and walked down the hallway that I knew led to the living room. Once there, I didn't look around much, and I started walking towards the rooms, since his flat was almost identical to mine.
"What's your room?" I asked him.
"Left" he replied quietly, his voice was a bit rough.
I moved towards the room on the left, and sat him on the bed.
"You need to change your clothes" I told him, but he didn't move. "Where do you keep your T-shirts?" I asked, and he motioned to the wardrobe.
"On the right."
I opened the wardrobe, and took a look where he had told me to. I took out a black one.
"Harry, are you sure? I think there are only long sleeved shirts in here."
"I don't like T-shirts" he replied and walked to me, taking the shirt in my hands. "Would you mind going out while I change?" He asked quietly.
"Sure" I said and walked out of the room. I closed the door and leaned against its frame, waiting. After a while, I walked to the living room and turned off the lights there. I came back and knocked on the door. "Are you done?" I asked him through the wood of the door.
"Yeah" was his faint reply from inside.
I opened the door and got in, he was sitting on the bed, with his black boxers and the long sleeved shirt on.
"I'm gonna warm up some milk or something" I announced, since he still seemed really upset, and strolled out of the room.
I made my way to the kitchen and retrieved the milk carton from the fridge. Realising that I hadn't asked him where I could've found the cup and the milk pan, I checked all the cupboards until I found what I needed. I heated up the milk, making sure that it wasn't too hot, and put it in the cup. I put the milk carton back in the fridge and washed the milk pan as fast as possible, drying it and putting it back in his place. I went back to his room carrying the warm cup. When I entered I found him still on the bed, in the same position I had left him in. I put the cup on the nightstand and put one of the pillows against the headboard, so that he could lean on it. He did, and I gave him the cup.
"I haven't drank hot milk in forever" he murmured, sipping it gently.
"My mom always used to make it for me when I was upset" I revealed, and he gave me a little smile.
"Thank you."
I smiled at him, and waited for him to finish it. When he did, I took it back to the kitchen, washing it as fast as I had washed the milk pan, and put it in the cupboard where I had found it. When I went back, Harry was no longer there. I saw the light coming out of the bathroom door nearby, so I didn't worry about his whereabouts. I put the pillow back in his place, and waited for him to come back.
"It's past midnight, you should go to sleep soon or you'll be tired tomorrow" I told him when he came back.
He sat down on the bed, took off his rings and put them into the top drawer of the nightstand on his side.
"I'll see you tomorrow" I said leaning down to be on his eye level and kissing the tip of his nose, earning a faint chuckle from him.
When I moved to stand up, however, I felt warm fingers around my wrist.
"Please stay" he asked, almost begged, and I couldn't say no.
"Can I borrow one of your shirts?" I asked back.
"Sure" he replied, and I walked in front of his wardrobe, and took out a grey long sleeved shirt.
"I'll be fast" I said, disappearing to the bathroom.
Once I was ready, I walked back to his room.
"Turn off the light" he said, turning on the one on his nightstand.
I walked to the bed and slid under the covers on the other side.
I turned to him, looking at his features under the soft yellow light. The shadow of his eyelashes was made longer by the position of the light, and it rested gracefully on his cheekbones. His lips seemed of a darker shade of pink, but I didn't dare to kiss him because of the fragility of the moment. Noticing that I was staring at him, he turned his head and looked at me.
"What happened tonight?" I asked him, putting my hand on his forearm.
He tensed up. "I don't think it's something I'll be ready to tell you anytime soon."
I frowned. "So he wasn't referring to that thing?"
"Yes and no" he replied, "It's something connected to that thing, kind of."
"It's okay" I assured him, "You can tell me whenever you want. Can you turn off the light?"
He did, and as soon as he turned around to lie on his back I wrapped my arm around his waist and put my head on his chest, putting one leg between his. I felt him sigh, and after a while he put his arm around me, resting his hand on my hip. I fell asleep after only a few minutes, to the calming sound of his heartbeat.
• • •
When I woke up to the bright white light coming from the window the next morning, it didn't take long to realise that it wasn't my room, and that the warm body I was laying on wasn't my pillow. I sat up fast, before realising that I was at Harry's. I looked down, to find out that my fast motion had woken up Harry as well, that was slowly starting to stir awake. I looked at him until his eyes fluttered open, and his green eyes met mine. They seemed even lighter than usual.
"I'm gonna go make us some tea" I said before getting out of the bed and going in the bathroom, trying to make myself as presentable as possible.
After that, I walked in the living room, and my attention was caught by something I hadn't seen the night before. I walked closer to the little shelf above the tv. There were two small bottles on it. I glanced back to the bedroom, but it didn't seem like Harry had gotten out of bed yet. Not being able to resist, I took one, and read the label. It was antidepressants. I frowned, and checked the other, discovering that it was something of a similar nature. I put the second one down, staring at the small bottles in front of me in disbelief. Why were they there?
I heard a sound behind me and turned around fast, pretending to have not seen them. Harry was standing in the middle of the hallway door, the one that brought to the bedrooms and the bathroom, still in the boxers and the black shirt.
"You have a nice TV" I said, hoping that he would fall for it.
But of course, he wouldn't. He didn't move, his face was unreadable. "I know you've seen them."