"Don't make me sad; don't make me cry."
~ Lana Del Ray.
* * *
Bianca and I walked together to school, which - may I add - happens once in a blue moon.
She seemed very hyper today, contrary to the morose state I was in. She wouldn't stop asking about my best friend, and what he had to say for himself the previous night.
"He apologised," I said, staring absently at the road ahead.
"And?" she probed, sensing that there was more to this than I was letting on.
"It's very complicated, Bianca," I replied sombrely.
"Well then, un-complicate it," she said, grinning widely.
I knew what she was thinking: I'm a friggin' genius, baby!
"He, uhm . . .said something," I started pathetically.
Bianca raised her eyebrows inquisitively, beckoning me to go on.
"He said that he likes me," I finished, mentally slapping myself for telling her.
She might be my sister, but she had a mouth as big as the atlantic ocean. The whole school would probably know about this at the end of today.
"I knew it!" she exclaimed, doing this funny had gesture.
"You did?" I asked, utterly dumbfounded.
"Of course, darling," she replied, tossing her hair like a super-model. "Bianca AKA Love Doctor. Remember?"
"Oh, please," I scoffed. "How did you know?"
"Duh, it's totally obvious, Bridgette. I've always wondered why you wear glasses. They aren't doing you much justice, you know."
I simply shook my head and scoffed at her.
"Oh, don't give me that look," she said. "Haven't you seen the way he looks at you? It's like he could just rip your clo -"
"Whoa, hold your horses!" I told her. "Your expertise won't be needed any further, Love Doctor. Thank you very much."
"The pleasure's all mine, Miss Wanderlust. I take it you don't feel the same way about him?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"What makes you think that?" I asked, my gaze dropping to the floor.
"You're running away from him, aren't you? That's why you're going to granny's."
"You're delusional," I replied, dreading the question.
"And you, dear sister, are quite something!" she chirped, breaking into fits of laughter. "Wait till your buddy hears about this."
* * *
"Order, please!" Mr Crompton, the principal, spoke into the microphone.
The school assembly was crowded with Grade 10 learners, pushing and shoving into empty chairs in the hall.
Usually, I'd sit next to Lelo, but by the looks of it, today was an exception.
He was nowhere to be found.
I strolled to the front row, and took a seat on one of the empty chairs.
Bianca was sitting there with her 'popular' friends. She waved at me when she saw me, and invited me to join them, but I shook my head politely and mouthed a quiet, "No, thanks."
She just nodded as if to say, "Suit yourself."
As soon all the learners were seated, and as quiet as mice, the principal cleared his throat and fixed his tie tentatively.
"Thank you," he said formally, scanning the whole assembly with attentive eyes.
"First of all, I'd like to thank you all for being here today. Today's programme differs from that of a normal school day, and that's because we, as the school gorvening body, have come to the conclusion that we ought to have a debate every now and then."
He paused, and took a brief look at his prepared speech before presuming.
"This idea was suggested to us by a young man, a fellow learner at Meadow's High - Mvuselelo Mthembu. Could you please make your away up here?"
At this point, my eyebrows were nearly touching my scalp. My mouth was hung open.
Since when did Lelo come up with ideas as to how to pimp up this school, never mind disrupt the normal school routine?
Girls screamed, squealed and threw their hands up in the air as Lelo made his way up to the stage.
"Lelo, baby!" one of the girls called, planting butterfly kisses in the air.
His girlfriend, maybe?
I wasn't suprised by this boisterous outburst. Lelo was the captain of the basketball team, the deputy headboy and one of the hottest guys at this school; it was no wonder all the girls went crazy around him.
Except me.
Self-proclaimed weirdo slash outcast. Would you believe me if I said my sexual orientation has been questioned more than once at this school, mostly by the 'it' girls. They say I might as well be a lesbian for not being interested in Lelo. Seriously.
The thought just peeved me off.
"Ahem, thank you, Sir," Lelo spoke into the microphone.
The noise gradually receded, replaced by dreamy sighs and sniffled giggles from excited girls at the back.
"Learners! May we have some silence, please?" Mr Crompton asked. "Let's give this young man a chance to get his point across. What are the three most important words at this school?"
"Respect, order and discipline," the learners mumbled in unison.
"That's right. Now, Lelo, the ball is in your court," he said, stepping away from the microphone.
Lelo smiled gratefully, and stepped foward.
"Thanks again, Mr Crompton. And a big thanks to each and every one of you for allowing me to stand here today," he started in his naturaly confident voice that had girls going weak at the knees.
"As the principal has already explained, there'll be a debate session once a week, every week. This is to encourage learners to voice out their opinions and to develop assertiveness, both in their academic and personal lives. What inspired this idea was the astonishing number of people who hide behind their masks, and let others speak out for them.
"The topics will be random, and anyone who wishes to contribute to the debate is welcome to do so. Only one learner will elaborate the chosen topic, and provide a platform for others to speak up. All this will be done with you in mind. We all know that as teenagers, we have a lot of things to talk about but it isn't always easy to do so. I'll speak more about that as we go on. For today, I'd like to raise the topic of love."
Whistles filled the room, and girls went crazy, yet again. I just sat in my seat like a stature, paying full attention to whatever my best friend had to say. About love.
Love, people.
Hmmm . . . this ought to be interesting, I thought internally.
"Love can be classified into different categories. There's love for your family, for yourself, for God, for your community and for others. The kind of love I wish to address is the romantic kind.
"This kind of love, guys, is great but it's also destructive, you see. For instance, let's say you're best friends with someone, and you see each other as nothing less, nor nothing more than friends. What happens when either one of you suddenly develops feelings for the other?"
He paused, as if awaiting an answer.
My heart was hammering inside my chest, and I almost fell off my chair when his eyes met mine.
His gaze lingered on me, and I felt like he was drilling holes into my heart with his penetrating stare, but I just couldn't bring myself to look away.
"Let me tell you, people, that only two outcomes are applicable in such a situation," he continued after averting his gaze from mine.
I didn't even realise I hadn't been breathing until I let out a deep breath.
"One, your feelings may be unreciprocated -" he turned to face me once again, that familiar look of disappointment from yesterday still on his face.
"- two, they may be requited, but that person might just be afraid to let you know, because let's face it, it would be awkward, right? Going from best friends to being boyfriend and girlfriend? Not everyone can do that. But I don't see anything wrong with that.
"The best relationships, after all, are those built on friendship. I used to shake my head, and laugh when people spoke about falling in love with their best friend . . . but all that was before it happened to me. It burns. It comes with a lot of rejection, and that . . . hurts."
He flipped the microphone from its holder, and handed it to the principal before eargerly waltzing off the stage and to a vacant seat at the back.
His speech was followed by a tumultuous applause, and lots of cheering.
"Thank you, Mvuselelo. That was a great speech, and I believe it's something you can all relate to?" Mr Crompton asked.
"Yes, Sir!" was the learners' reply.
"Great. Any questions, or views?"
Several hands shot up to the air and before we knew it, there was a hot debate amongst the learners.
I had first hand experience of what they were debating about, but I was in no mood to convey my woes to the whole school.
After an hour or so, the discussion came to a halt and students exited the hall in disordely unison.
I was on my way out when I stopped dead in my tracks at what I heard.
Forgive me for eavesdropping, but I'm human . . . I have ears, and they have a life of their own.
"This isn't working for me," Lelo said, yanking his arm away from some girl he was standing with.
"Lelo, what do you mean?" she asked in a squeaky voice. "You can't break up with me."
"And why the hell not?" he asked, frustrated.
"You are in no position to break up with me. I do the breaking up in all my relationships," she replied defiantly.
"Lilly, I'm not one of your puppets," he hissed. "If you want to string somebody along, I suggest you get yourself one of those."
With that, he walked away from her.
He studied me for a brief instant before looking away, and leaving.
I ran up to him, and clutched his arm cautiously.
"Lelo, we need to t-talk," I said, in a shaky voice.
"Can't it wait?" he asked coldly.
"No, I'm afraid it cannot," I replied. "What the heck was all that about?"
"Pardon?"
"Don't act the fool here, you know very well what I'm talking about. That whole debate thing - it was payback, wasn't it? You wanted to get back at me by guilt-tripping me?" I asked frantically, my blood boiling.
"Don't flatter yourself," he spat, frowning at me.
"What's your problem, exactly?"
"My problem?" he asked in what sounded like disbelief. "I could ask you the same question. I'm not the one standing here confronting their best friend and accusing them of petty stuff."
"Oh, so that's what we are? Best friends? Last time I checked, best friends didn't act this way. Now the whole school knows about us! No thanks to you and your so-called 'debate suggestion.'"
"What does it matter what the school thinks, Bridgette? Why are you so absorbed in other people's opinions? People like you are the kind of people I had in mind when I came up with this idea," he retorted back.
"Liar. You had yourself in mind. You don't care about anyone but yourself. You're a coward, Lelo! You're a jerk. The biggest wimp alive! You're a pathetic excuse for a best friend!"
The tears rolled down my face, as I repeatedly pounded his chest in anger.
Lelo just pulled me into his arms and let me cry on his chest.
"You're so cute when you get all worked up," he said, chuckling. "Let's stop this madness."
And that was how I knew I could never trade him for any other friend in the world.
* * *